Shift. I did, fir. Sir. Will. Your name I think is Shift? Sir. Will. Did Mr. Capias drop any hint of my business with you? Shift. None. He only faid, with his fpectacles on his nofe, and his hand upon his chain, Sir William Wealthy is a refpectable perfonage, and my client; he wants to retain you in a certain affair, and will open the cafe, and give you your brief himself: if you adhere to his inftructions, and carry your caufe, he is generous, and will discharge your bill without taxation. Sir. Will. Ha! ha! my friend Capias to a hair! Well fir, this is no bad fpecimen of your abilities. But fee that the door is faft. Now fir, you are to Shift. A moment's paufe, if you please. You must know, Sir William, I am a propigious admirer of forms. Now Mr. Capias tells me, that it is always the rule to administer a retaining fee before you enter upon the merits. Sir. Will. Oh, fir, I beg your pardon! Shift. Not that I queftioned your generofity; but forms you know Sir. Will. No apology, I beg. But, as we are to have a clofer connection, it may not be amifs, by way of introduction, to underftand one another a little. Pray, fir, where was you born? Shift. At my father's. Sir. Will. Hum !And what was he? Sir. Will. What was you bred? Sir. Will. How do you live?, Sir. Will. Could nothing induce you to unbofom yourself? Shift. Look'e, Sir William, there is a kind of fomething in your countenance, a certain opennefs and generofity, a je ne fcai quoi in your manner, that I will unlock. You fhall fee me all. Sir. Will. You will oblige me. Shift. You must know then, that Fortune, which frequently delights to raise the nobleft structures from the fimpleft foundations; who from a taylor made a pope, from a gin-fhop an emprefs, and many a prime minifter from nothing at all, has thought fit to raise me to my prefent height, from the humble employment of-Light your Ho nour--A link boy. Sir. Will. A pleasant fellow.Who were your parents? Shift. I was produced, fir, by a left-handed marriage, in the language of the newspapers, between an illuftrious lamp-lighter and an eminent itinerant cat and dog butcher. Cat's meat, and dog's meat. -I dare fay, you have heard my mother fir. But as to this happy pair, I owe little befides my Being, I fhall drop them where they dropt me--in the street. Sir. Will. Proceed, Shift. My first knowledge of the world I owe to a school, which has produced many a great a great man; the avenues of the Play-house. There, fir, leaning on my extinguish'd link, I learn'd dexterity from pick-pockets, connivance from conftables, politics and fashions from footmen, and the art of making and breaking a promife, from their mafters. Here, firrah, light me a-crofs the kennel I hope your honour will remember poor You ragged rafcal I have no half-I'll pay you the next time I fee you- -But, lack-a-day, fir, that time I saw as feldom as his tradefmen. Jack.pence Sir. Will. Very well, Shift. To thefe accomplishments from without the Theatre, I muft add one that I obtain'd within. Sir, Will. How did you gain admittance there? Shift. My merit, fir, that, like my link, threw a radiance round me--A detachment from the head-quarters here, took poffeffion, in the fummer, of a country corporation, where I did the honours of the barn, by fweeping the ftage, and clipping the candles. There my fkill and addrefs was fo con, fpicuous, that it procured me the fame of fice the enfuing winter, at Drury-Lane, where I acquired intrepidity; the crown of all my virtues. Sir. Will. How did you obtain that? Shift. By my poft. For I think, fir, he that dares ftand the fhot of the gallery in lighting, fnuffing, and fweeping, the firft night of a new play, may bid defiance to the pillory, with all its customary compliments. Sir. Will. Some truth in that. Shift. But an unlucky crab-apple, applied to my right eye, by a patriot gingerbreadbaker from the Borough, who would not fuffer three dancers from Switzerland, because be hated the French, forced me to a precipi tate retreat. Sir. Will. Poor devil? Shift. Broglio and Contades have done the fame. But as it happen'd, like a tennis-ball, I rofe higher than the rebound. Sir. Will. How fo? Shif. My misfortune, fir, moved the compaffion of one of our performers, a whimfical man; he took me into his fervice. To him I owe, what I believe will make me useful to you. Sir. Will. Explain. Shift. Why, fir, my mafter was remarkably happy in an art, which, however difesteem'd at prefent, is by Tully, reckon'd amongst the perfections of an orator; Mimickry. Sir. Will. Why, you are deeply read Mr. Shift! Bi Shift. A fmattering-But, as I was faying, fir, nothing came amifs to my master. peds, or quadrupeds; rationals, or animals; from the clamour of the bar, to the cackle of the barn-door; from the foporific twang of the tabernacle of Tottenham-Court, to the melodious bray of their long ear'd brethren in Bunhill-Fields; all were objects of his imitation, and my attention. In a word, fir, for two whole years, under this profeffor, I ftudied and ftarved, impoverish'd my body, body, and pamper'd my mind; till thinking myfelf pretty near equal to my master, I made him one of his own bows, and set up for felf. my Sir Will. You have been fuccefsful I hope. Shift. Pretty well; I can't complain. My art, fir, is a pafse-par-tout. I feldom want employment. Let's fee, how ftand my engagements. [Pulls out a pocket-book] Hum, hum, Oh! Wednesday, at Mrs. Gammut's, near Hanover-fquare; there, there, I fhall make a meal upon the Mingotti; for her ladyship is in the opera intereft; but, however, I fhall revenge her caufe upon her rival Mattei. Sunday evening at Lady Sustinuto's concert: Thurfday I dine upon the actors, with ten Templars, at the Mitre in Fleet-ftreet. Friday I am to give the amorous parley of two intriguing cats in a gutter, with the disturbing of a hen-rooft, at Mr. Deputy Sugarfops, near the Monument. So fir, you fee my hands are full. In short, Sir William, there is not a buck or a turtle, devoured within the bills of mortality, but there I may, if I please, ftick a napkin under my chin. Šir Will. I'm afraid, Mr. Shift, I must break in a little upon your engagements; but you hall be no lofer by the bargain: Shift. Command ine. Sir Will: You can be fecret as well as ferviceable? Shift. Mute as a mackarel. Sir Will. Come hither then: If you betray the to my fon. Shift. Scalp me. |
