tial enquiry, fafely certify, that Dr. Last, from top to toe, is an able physician. All. Very able, very able, indeed. Hel. And every way qualified to proceed in his practice. All. Every way qualified. Hel. You may defcend, Dr. Laft. [Laft takes his feat among them.] Secretary, first read, and then give the doctor his licence.* Sec. [Reads.] "To all whom these presents may come greeting. Know, ye, that, after a moft ftrict and fevere inquifition, not only into the great skill and erudition, but the morals of Dr. Emanual Laft, We are authorized to grant unto the faid doctor full power, permiffion, and licence, to pill, bolus, lotion, potion, draught, dofe, drench, purge, bleed, blifter, clifter, cup, fcarify, fyringe, falivate, couch, flux, fweat, diet, dilute, tap, plaister, and poultice, all perfons, in all diseases, of all ages, conditions, and fexes. And we do ftrictly command and enjoin all furgeons, apothecaries, with their apprentices, all midwives, male, female, and nurfes, at all times, to be aiding and affisting to the said Dr. Emanuel Laft. And we do further charge all mayors, justices, aldermen, sheriffs, bailiffs, headboroughs, conftables, and coroners, not to moleft or intermeddle with the said doctor, if any party whom he fhall fo pill, bolus, lotion, potion, draught, dose, drench, purge, bleed, blifter, clifter, cup, fcarify, fyringe, falivate, couch, flux, fweat, diet, dilute, tap, plaifter, and poultice, fhould happen to die, but to deem that the faid party died a natural death, any thing appearing to the contrary notwithstanding. Given D under under our hands, &c. Hercules Hellebore, Cornelius Calomel, Christopher Camphire. Laft. Then, if a patient die, they must not fay that I kill'd him? Hel. They fay! Why, how fhould they know, when it is not one time in twenty that we know it ourselves?-Proceed we now to the lecture! [They all rife and come forward to the table.] Brethren, and students, I am going to open to you fomè notable difcoveries that I have made, refpecting the fource, or primary cause, of all diftempers incidental to the human machine: And thefe, brethren, I attribute to certain animalculæ, or pifcatory entities, that infinuate themselves thro' the pores into the blood, and in that fluid fport, tofs, and tumble about, like mackrel or cod fish in the great deep: And to convince you that this is not a mere gratis dictum, an hypothefis only, I will give you demonftrative proof. Bring hither the microfcope! Enter a Servant with a microscope. Doctor Laft, regard this receiver. Take a peep. Laft. Where? 1.. Hel. There. Thofe two yellow drops there were drawn from a fubject afflicted with the jaundice. Well, what d'ye fee? Laft. Some little creatures like yellow flies, that are hopping and skipping about. Hel. Right. Thofe yellow flies give the tinge to the fkin, and undoubtedly cause the disease: And now, for the cure! I administer to every patient the two-and-fiftieth part of a fcruple of the ovaria or eggs of the spider; these are thrown by the digeftive powers into the secretory, there separated feparated from the alimentory, and then precipitated into the circulatory; where finding a proper nidus, or neft, they quit their torpid ftate, and vivify, and, upon vivification, difcerning the flies, their natural food, they immediately fall foul of them, extirpate the race out of the blood, and restore the patient to health. Laft. And what becomes of the fpiders? Hel. Oh, they die, you know, for want of nutrition. Then I fend the patient down to Brighthelmftone; and a couple of dips in the falt-water washes the cobwebs entirely out of the blood. Now, gentlemen, with refpect to the Enter Servant. Serv. Sir, Mr. Forceps, from the Hospital. Enter Forceps. Well, Forceps, what's your will? For. To know, Sir, what you would have done with the Hospital patients to-day? Hel. To-day! why, what was done yesterday? For. Sir, we bled the Weft ward, and jalloped the North. Hel. Did ye? why then, bleed the North ward, and jallop the West to-day. [Exit For. Now, I fay, brethren Serv. They are led on by Sligo: They demand inftant entrance, and threaten to ftorm. Hel. Doctors Calomel and Camphire, our two aid-de-camps, furvey their prefent posture, and report it to us. Without. Huzza! Hel. Bid old Jollup be ready to unmask the engine at the word of command. Enter Camphire. Hel. Now, Dr. Camphire? Camp. The fledge-hammers are come, and they prepare to batter in breach. Hel. Let the engine be play'd off at the very first blow! Without. Huzza! [Exit Camp. Camp. The fecond fire has dropped the stiff buckles of Dr. Ofafafras. Hel. Better and better! [Exit Camp. Now, doctor? Enter Camphire. Camp. As Dr. Sligo, with open mouth, drove furiously on, he received a full ftream in his teeth, and is retired from the field, dropping wet. Hel. Then the day's our own! [Exit Camp. Now, doctor? Enter Calomel. Cal. All is loft! Dr. Sligo, recruited by a bumper of Drogheda, is returned with fresh vigour. Hel. Let our force be pointed at him. Enter Camphire. [Exit Cal. Now, doctor? Camp. The fiege flackens; Dr. Broadbrim, with ferjeant Demur, are arrived in the camp. Hel. What can that mean? [Exit. Enter Calomel. Now, doctor? Cal. Serjeant Demur has thrown this manifefto over the [Exit. gate. Hel. [looking at the parchment.] Ha! " Middle"fex to wit. John Doe and Richard Roe." It is a challenge to meet 'em at Westminster Hall; then we have breathing-time till the term. Enter Laft. Now, doctor? D3 Laft. 1 |
