Cad. Speak! what the devil can you say? Spri. Let's hear him, Mr.Cadwallader, however. Cad. Hold, hold; come, begin then. Cape. And first to you, Mr. Sprightly, as you seem most interested; pray does this charge correspond with any other action of my life, since I have had the honour to know you?— Spri. Indeed, I can't say that I recollect, but still as the scholiasts say - Nemo repente fuit turpis simus. Cad. Hold, hold, what's that? Spri. Why, that is as much as to say, this is bad enough. Mrs. Cad. By gosh! and so it is. Cad. Ecod, and so it is; speak a little more Latin to him; if I had been bred at the university, you shou'd have it both sides of your ears. Cape. A little patience, gentlemen; now, to you; you were pleased yourself to drop a few hints of your lady's weakness; might not she take too seriously, what was meant as a mere matter of merriment? Cad. Hey! hold, hold. Spri. A paltry excuse; can any woman be such a fool as not to know when a man has a design upon her person? Cad. Answer that Mr. Cape, hey! answer that. Cape. I can only answer for the innocency of my own intentions; may not your lady, apprehensive of my becoming too great a favourite, contrive this charge with a view of destroying the con nexion Spri. Connexion! Cad. Hey! hold, hold, connexion. Spri. There's something in that Cad. Hey! is there? Hold, hold, hey! egad, he is rightYou're right, Mr. Cape; hold, Becky, my dear, how the devil cou'd you be so wicked, hey! child; ecod, hold, hold, how could you have the wickedness to attempt to destroy the connexion? Mrs. Cad. I don't know what you say. Cad. D'ye hear? You are an incendiary, but you have miss'd your point; the connexion shall only be the stronger: my dear friend, I beg ten thousand pardons, I was too hasty; but ecod, Becky's to blame. Cape. The return of your favour has effaced every other impression. Cad. There's a good-natured creature! Cape. But if you have the least doubts remaining, this lady, your sister, I believe, will do me the jus tice to own Mrs. Cad. Ay, ask my fellow, if I be a thief. Mrs. Cad. She's as bad as he.. Cad. Bad as he? Hey! how; what the devil, she did not make love to you too? Stop, hey! hold, hold, hold. Mrs. Cad. Why no, foolish, but you are always running on with your riggmonrowles, and won't stay to hear a body's story out. Cad. Well, Beck, come let's have it. Mrs. Cad. Be quiet then: why, as I was telling you, first he made love to me, and wanted me to be a hare. Cad. A hare! hold, ecod, that was whimsical; a hare! hey! oh ecod, that might be because he thought you a little hair-brain'd already; Becky, a damn'd good story. Well, Beck, go on, let's have it out. Mrs. Cad. No, I won't tell you no more, so I won't. Cad. Nay, prythee, Beck. Mrs. Cad. Hold your tongue then: And so there he was going on with his nonsense, and so in come our Bell; and so Cad. Hold, hold, Becky; damn your so's; go on, child, but leave out your so's; its a lowhold, hold, vulgar- but go on. Mrs. Cad. Why how can I go on, when you stop me every minute? Well, and then our Bell came in and interrupted him, and methought she looked very frumpish and jealous. Cad. Well. Mrs. Cad. And so I went out and listen'd. Mrs. Cad. No; I tell you upon my staying, she went out; no--upon my going out, she staid. Cad. This is a damn'd blind story, but go on, Beck. Mrs. Cad. And then at first she scolded him roundly for making love to me; and then he said. as how she advised him to it; and then she said. no; and then he said Cad. Hold, hold; we shall never understand all these he's and she's; this may all be very true, Beck, but, hold, hold; as I hope to be saved, thou art the worst teller of a story Mrs. Cad. Well, I have but a word more ; and then he said as how I was a great fool. Cad. Not much mistaken in that. (Aside.) Mrs. Cad. And that he wou'd not have stay'd with me a minute, but to pave the sesion of she. Cad. Well, Beck, well? Mrs. Cad. And so way to the pos -that's all. Cad. Make love to her, in order to get posses sion of you? Mrs. Cad. Love to me, in order to get she. Cad. Hey! Oh, now I begin to understand. Hey! What's this true, Bell? Hey! Hold, hold, hold; ecod, I begin to smoke, hey! Mr. Cape. Cape. How shall I act? Rob. Own it, sir, I have a reason. Cad. Well, what say you, Mr. Cape? Let's have it, without equivocation; or, hold, hold, hold, mental reservation. Guilty, or not? Cape. Of what, sir? Cad. Of what? Hold, hold, of making love to Bell. Cape. Guilty. Cad. Hey! how? Hold, zounds! No, what not with an intention to marry her? Cape. With the lady's approbation, and your kind consent. Cad. Hold, hold, what my consent to marry you? Cape. Ay, sir. Cad. Hold, hold, hold, what our Bell? To mix the blood of the Cadwalladers with the puddle of a poet? Cape. Sir? Cad. A petty, paltry, ragged, rhiming Cad. A scribbling, hold, hold, hold Garretteer? that has no more cloaths than backs, no more heads than hats, and no shoes to his feet. Spri. Nay, but —— Cad. The offspring of a dunghill! Born in a cellar, hold, hold, and living in a garret; a fungus, a mushroom. Cape. Sir, my family Cad. Your family! hold, hold, hold, Peter, fetch the pedigree; I'll shew you—— Your family a little obscure-hold, hold, I don't believe ! you ever had a grandfather. Enter Peter with the pedigree. There it is; there; Peter, help me to stretch it out: There's seven yards more of lineals, besides three of collaterals, that I expect next Monday from the herald's office; d'ye see, Mr. Sprightly? Spri. Prodigious! Cad. Nay, but look'e, there's Welch princes, and ambassadors, and kings of Scotland, and members of parliament: Hold, hold, ecod, I no more mind an earl or a lord in my pedigree, hold, hold, than Kouli Khan wou'd a serjeant in the train'd bands. Spri. An amazing descent! hold, Cad. Hey, is it not? And for this low, lousy son of a shoe-maker, to talk of families my house. hold, get out of Rob. Now is your time, sir. Cad. Mr. Sprightly, turn him out. Gov. Stop, sir, I have a secret to disclose, that may make you alter your intentions. Cad. Hold, hold; how, Mr. Interpreter? Gov. You are now to regard that young man in a very different light, and consider him as my son. Cape. Your son, sir? Gov. In a moment, George, the mysteries shall be explain'd. Cad. Your son? Hold, hold; and what then? Gov. Then! Why then he is no longer the scribbler, the mushroom you have described, but of birth and fortune equal to your own. Cad. What! the son of an interpreter equal to me! A fellow that trudges about, teaching of languages to foreign counts. Gov. A teacher of languages! Cad. Stay; ecod, a runner to monsieurs and marquisses! Spri. You are mistaken, sir. Cad. A jack-pudding! that takes fillips on the nose for six-pence a piece! Hold, hold, ecod, give me eighteen-pennyworth, and change for half a crown. Gov. Stop, when you are well. Cad. A spunger at other men's tables! that has jallop put into his beer, and his face black'd at Christmas for the diversion of children. |
