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and snow. I do like, when all within is snug and warm, to hear the raging tempest and warring elements with

out.

It would be endless for me to describe all my after voyages and travels. Suffice it to say, I have been both east and west, north and south, and there is scarcely a part of the habitable globe which I have not visited. After all, I have come to this conclusion, that there is no country like Britain. Oh! how I could wish my human exist ence had been in such happy times and under such glorious sovereigns as a George the Third, and George the Fourth!!!

For some years I have remained in this country, enjoying (like a patriarch of old) a quiet regular life with my family,+ which now amounts to above 2000. I, however, keep very much to my own room, as I hate bustle, and like to enjoy my own reflections.

The age to which our species can exist is not ascertained, as never one of us was known to die in his bed, at least a natural death. A kind of instinct, I have always had, has as yet saved me from arsenic, stewed corks, traps, stamps, &c.; and my great strength, and a good deal of science, which is of more consequence, have as yet preserved me in many a deadly combat, both with my own species, and with the dog, the ferret, the weasel, the hawk, and that green-eyed monster-the cat. But I am now getting somewhat stiffer, and am not so sharp as I was. I am not

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I am well aware, indeed, of the fleeting existence even of this world itself, for I studied astronomy with the celebrated M. Olbers of Bremen, and assisted him in making many useful observations and discoveries, particularly regarding comets, in the course of which we came to this melancholy conclusion, that the comet which was afterwards visible in 1786 and 1795, will, in 83,000 years, approach the earth as nearly as the moon; and that in 4,000,000 years it will come to within a distance of 7700 geographical miles;-the consequence of which will be (if its attraction be equal to that of the earth) the elevation of the waters of the ocean 13,000 feet; that is to say, above the tops of all the European mountains, except Mont Blanc. The inhabitants of the Andes and of the Himalaya mountains alone will escape this second deluge; but they will not benefit by their good fortune more than 216,000,000 years, for it is probable, that at the expiration of that time, our Globe, standing right in the way of the Comet, will receive a shock severe enough to insure its utter destruction!!!§

I never, however, allow those melancholy thoughts to discompose me. What must be-must be. If we were

The Canadian Musk-R-t belongs to the same country with the beaver, and in their dispositions and instincts they have considerable resemblance to each other. The huts of the Canadian Musk-R-t are, I have no doubt, exceedingly comfortable. They are built in a circular form, are generally two stories in height, and the walls, and roof (which is always in the form of a dome,) are so strongly cemented with earth, which they plaster with their feet, that they are never annoyed with even the slightest dampness. Vide Descript. de l'Amer. Septent. par Denys, tom. II. p. 124. Nat. Hist. des Antilles, tom. II. p. 302, &c.—EDITOR.

An old Rt is reckoned by his family to be terribly tyrannical and cruel, but luckily for them he keeps much by himself. Vide Buffon, vol. IV. Goldsmith's Nat. Hist. p. 162.-Rats multiply so prodigiously, that were it not that they are a universally proscribed animal, and receive quarter from neither man nor beast, nor even from one another, it is calculated the world itself could not contain them. From one pair, 1,000,000 may be propagated in two years. Vide Buffon, Querhoënt, &c. I don't myself pretend to know any thing of the natural history of the species, but a learned Muricidus of my acquaintance told me, that he was of opinion the water r-t was fast driving the old brown r-t out of this country.-EDITOR.

Eneid, lib. viii. v. 561.-EDITOR.

Was not this the same which was seen in 1801, 1805, and 1818 ?-EDITOR. From not knowing the date of this manuscript, we cannot with certainty calculate the exact period when this most awful catastrophe will take place.EDITOR.

always thinking of evils to come, it would take away every enjoyment of life. Let us rather endeavour to fulfil all our duties to the best of our power, and let us be grateful to Pro

vidence for the many blessings we enjoy. My maxim has always been with

Horace

"Carpe diem, quam minimùm credula postero."

NOTE.

After reading over the above MS., I am inclined to come to this conclusion -that our historian, while in a human form, must have been a Scottish nobleman-that he probably was born about the year 1501-and that he lived to about the age of 89.

So many different Acts were passed in Scotland, relative to burying in linen, that they can be of little use in my biographical sketch: But the Dinner Act, which our historian so pathetically laments, is well known to have been passed on the 1st of February, 1551, and this is of very great importance in establishing a date, and also in pointing out the status in society which he held; for the six dishes, to which he complains of being restricted, were what was allowed to abbots, lords, priors, and deans, and I am not inclined to think he was a churchman. But it will be observed, that our historian mentions remem bering the old Comte de Strasbourg, who, I believe, died in the year 1519also that he talks of the grandfather of Tillotson, as his friend. Archbishop Tillotson was born in the year 1630-Supposing his grandfather to have been 70 years older, he would be born in the year 1560. If our historian was eighteen when the Count died, he might easily have known the Archbishop's grandfather, as a young man, (himself being an old one,) as will at once be seen by calculation.

I wish our historian had rather given us his recollections of his own proper times, than of his more modern visit to this earth-Living, as he seems to have done, in the troublous times of James V., Queen Mary, and her son, his life must have been one full of interest, though I fear by no means a happy oneone which it would be pleasanter to read of than to have led. I am sure it was with the greatest sincerity he wished he had run his human course in our own more fortunate days. Perchance his wish is now accomplished; for as from the relic of the cauda, it is probable that his sorexian course is at last concluded, it is impossible to say what new form his frank and kindly spirit may now animate. Would that I could discover him in a human shape, and it would be my utmost endeavour to gain his friendship. It would, perhaps, give me some claim to that happiness that I have been the humble means of laying his narrative before the reader, whose most obedient servant I have the honour to subscribe myself.

Edinburgh, September 1828.

NICOL NEMO, LL.D.*

Nicol Nemo begs leave to state, that he is in no way related to the Scots family of Nobody's, who get the credit of so much mischief.

VOL. XXIV.

41

TASSO'S CORONATION.*

A crown of victory! a triumphal song!

Oh! call some friend, upon whose pitying heart
The weary one may calmly sink to rest;
Let some kind voice, beside his lowly couch,
Pour the last prayer for mortal agony.

A trumpet's note is in the sky, in the glorious Roman sky,
Whose dome hath rung, so many an age, to the voice of Victory;
There is crowding to the Capitol, th' imperial streets along,
For again a conqueror must be crown'd,-a kingly child of song.

Yet his chariot lingers,
Yet around his home
Broods a shadow silently,
'Midst the joy of Rome.

A thousand thousand laurel-boughs are waving wide and far,
To shed out their triumphal gleams around his rolling car;
A thousand haunts of olden gods have given their wealth of flowers,
To scatter o'er his path of fame bright hues in gem-like showers.

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Sing, sing for Him, the Lord of song, for him whose rushing strain
In mastery o'er the spirit sweeps, like a strong wind o'er the main!
Whose voice lives deep in burning hearts, for ever there to dwell,
As a full-toned Oracle's enshrined in a temple's holiest cell.

Yes, for him, the victor,
Sing-but low, sing low!
A soft, sad miserere chaunt,
For a soul about to go!

The sun, the sun of Italy is pouring o'er his way,

Where the old three hundred triumphs moved, a flood of golden day; Streaming through every haughty arch of the Cæsars' past renownBring forth, in that exulting light, the conqueror for his crown!

Shut the proud bright sunshine

From the fading sight!

There needs no ray by the bed of death,

Save the holy taper's light.

The wreath is twined-the way is strewn the lordly train are met-
The streets are hung with coronals-why stays the minstrel yet?
Shout! as an army shouts in joy around a royal chief-
Bring forth the bard of chivalry, the bard of love and grief!

Silence!-forth we bring him,

In his last array ;

From love and grief the freed, the flown

Way for the bier-make way!

F. H.

Tasso died at Rome on the day before that appointed for his coronation in the

Capitol.

THE SHAVING SHOP.

"Tis not an half hour's work-
A Cupid and a fiddle, and the thing's done.

"HOLD back your head, if you please, sir, that I may get this napkin properly fastened-there now," said Toby Tims, as, securing the pin, he dipped his razor into hot water, and began working up with restless brush the lather of his soap-box.

66

"I dare say you have got a newspaper there?" said I ; are you a politician, Mr Tims?"

"Oh, just a little bit of one. I get Bell's Messenger at second hand from a neighbour, who has it from his cousin in the Borough, who, I believe, is the last reader of a club of fourteen, who take it among them; and, being last, as I observed, sir, he has the paper to himself into the bargain.-Please exalt your chin, sir, and keep your head a little to one side-there, sir," added Toby, commencing his operations with the brush, and hoarifying my barbal extremity, as the facetious Thomas Hood would probably express it. "Now, sir-a leetle more round, if you please-there, sir, there. It is a most entertaining paper, and beats all for news. In fact, it is full of every thing, sir-every, every thing-accidents-charity sermons-markets boxing-Bible societies-horse-racing -child-murders-the theatres-fo reign wars-Bow-street reports-electioneering-and Day and Martin's blacking."

"Are you a bit of a bruiser, Mr Tims?"

"Oh, bless your heart, sir, only a leetle-a very leetle. A turn-up with the gloves, or so, your honour.-I'm but a light weight-only a light weight -seven stone and a half, sir; but a rare bit of stuff, though I say it my self, sir-Begging your pardon. I dare say I have put some of the soap into your mouth. Now, sir, now-please let me hold your nose, sir."

"Scarcely civil, Mr Toby," said I, "scarcely civil-Phroo! let me spit out the suds."

FLETCHER.

how it glides over, smooth and smack as your hand.-Keep still, sir, I might have given you a nick just now.-You don't choose a leetle of the mustachy left ?"

"No, no-off with it all. No matrimonial news stirring in this quarter just now, Mr Tims?"

Nothing extremely particular.Now, sir, you are fit for the King's levee, so far as my department is concerned. But you cannot go out just now, sir-see how it rains-a perfect water-spout. Just feel yourself at home, sir, for a leetle, and take a peep around you. That block, sir, has been very much admired-extremely like the Wenus de Medicine-capital nose

and as for the wig department, catch me for that, sir. But of all them there pictures hanging around, yon is the favourite of myself and the connessoors."

"6 Ay, Mr Tims," said I," that is truly a gem-an old lover kneeling at the foot of his young sweetheart, and two fellows in buckram taking a peep at them from among the trees."

"Capital, sir-capital. I'll tell you a rare good story, sir, connected with that picture and my own history, with your honour's leave, sir."

"With all my heart, Mr Timsyou are very obliging."

"Well then, sir, take that chair, and I will get on like a house on fire; but if you please, don't put me off my clew, sir.-Concerning that picture and my courtship, the most serious epoch of my life, there is a leetle bit of a story which I would like to be a beacon to others; and if your honour is still a bachelor, and not yet stranded on the shoals of matrimony, it may be Werbum sapienti, as O'Toole the Irish schoolmaster used to observe, when in the act of applying the birch to the booby's back.

"Well, sir, having received a grammatical education, and been brought "I will be done in a moment, sirup as a peruke-maker from my earliest in half a moment. Well, sir, speaking of razors, they should be always properly tempered with hot water, a leetle dip more or less. You see now

years-besides having seen a deal of high life, and the world in general, in carrying false curls, bandeaux, and other artificial head-gear parapherna

lia, in bandboxes to boarding-schools, and so on-a desire naturally sprung up within me, being now in my twenty-first year, and worth a guinea aweek of wages, to look about for what old kind Seignor Fiddle-stringo the minuet-master used to recommend under the title of a cara sposa-open shop --and act head frizzle in an establishment of my own.

"Very good, sir-In the pursuit of this virtuous purpose, I cast a sheep's eye over the broad face of society, and at length, from a number of eligible specimens, I selected three, who, whether considered in the light of natural beauty, or mental accomplishment, struck me forcibly as suitable coadjutors for a man-for a man like your humble servant."

"A most royal bow that, Mr Tims. Well, proceed, if you please."

"Very good, sir,-well, then, to proceed. The first of these was Miss Diana Tonkin, a young lady, who kept her brother's snuff-shop, at the sign of the African astride the Tobacco Barrel-a rare beauty, who was on the most intimate talking terms with half a hundred young bloods and beaux, who looked in during lounging hours, being students of law, physic, and divinity, half-pay ensigns, and theatrical understrappers, to replenish their boxes with Lundyfoot, whiff a Havannah cigar, or masticate pigtail. No wonder that she was spoiled by flattery, Miss Diana, for she was a bit of a beauty; and though she had but one eye by Heavens, what an eye that was!"

"She must have been an irresistible creature, certainly, Mr Tims," said I. "Well, how did you come on ?"

"Irresistible! but you shall hear, sir. I foresaw that, in soliciting the honour of this fair damsel's hand, I should have much opposition to encounter from the rivalry of the three learned professions, to say nothing of the gentlemen of the sword and of the buskin; but, thinks I to myself, 'faint heart never won fair lady,' so I at once set up a snuff-box, looked as tip-topping as possible, and commenced canvassing.

"The second elite (for I know a leetle French, having for three months, during my apprenticeship, had the honour of frizzling the head-gear of Count Witruvius de Caucauson, who

occupied private state-lodgings at the sign of the Blue Boar in the Poultry, and who afterwards decamped with out clearing scores)-the second elite, (for I make a point, sir, of having two strings to my bow,) was Mrs Joan Sweetbread, a person of exquisite parts, but fiery temper, at that time aged thirty-three, twelve stone weight, head cook and housekeeper to Sir Anthony Macturk, a Scotch baronet, who rusticated in the vicinity of town. I made her a few evening visits, and we talked love affairs over muffins and a cup of excellent congou. Then what a variety of jams and jellies! I never returned without a disordered stomach, and wishing Highland heather-honey at the devil. Yet, after all, to prove a hoax !-for even when I was on the point of popping the question, and had fastened my silk Jem Belcher with a knowing leetle knot to set out for that purpose, I learned from Francie, the stable-boy, that she had the evening before eloped with the coachman, and returned to her post that forenoon metamorphosed into Madam Trot.

"I first thought, sir, of hanging myself over the first lamp-post; but, after a leetle consideration, I determined to confound Madam Trot, and all other fickle fair ones, by that very night marrying Miss Diana. I hastened on, rushed precipitately into the shop, and on the subject-and hear, oh Heaven, and believe, oh earth! was met not by a plump denial, but was shewn the door.

"Upon my word, Mr Tims," said I, "you have been a most unfortunate man. I wonder you recovered after such mighty reverses? but I hope”

"Hope! that is the word, sir, the very word, I still had hope; so, after ten days' horrible melancholy, in which I cropped not a few heads in a novel and unprecedented style, I at it again, and laid immediate and close siege to the last and loveliest of the trio-one by whom I was shot dead at first sight, and of whom it might be said, as I once heard Kean justly observe in a very pretty tragedy, and to a numerous audience, We ne'er shall look upon her like again!" "

"Capital, Mr Tims. Well, how did you get on?"

"A moment's patience, with your honour's leave.-Ah! truly might it be said of her, that she was descended

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