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rally something ridiculous in it, their bodies were often produced after their death, which has always something melancholy or terrifying: so that the killing on the stage does not seem to have been avoided only as an indecency, but also as an improbability.

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Nec pueros coram populo Medea trucidet;
Aut humana palam coquat exta nefarius Atreus;
Aut in avem Progne vertatur, Cadmus in anguem;
Quodcunque ostendis mihi sic, incredulus odi.
HOR. ARS. Poet. ver. 185.

Medea must not draw her murd'ring knife,
Nor Atreus there his horrid feast prepare;
Cadmus and Progne's metamorphoses,
(She to a swallow turn'd, he to a snake ;)
And whatsoever contradicts my sense,

think at present the whole race of them is extinct in our own country.

About the time that several of our sex were taken into this kind of service, the ladies likewise brought up the fashion of receiving visits in their beds. It was then looked upon as a piece of ill-breeding for a woman to refuse to see a man because she was not stirring; and a porter would have been thought unfit for his place, that could have made so awkward an excuse. As I love to see every thing that is new, I once prevailed upon my friend Will Honeycomb to carry me along with him to one of these travelled ladies, desiring him, at the same time, to present me as a foreigner who could not speak English, that so I might not be obliged to bear a part in the discourse. The lady, though willing to appear undrest, I have now gone through the several dramatic in- had put on her best looks, and painted herself for ventions which are made use of by the ignorant our reception. Her hair appeared in a very nice poets to supply the place of tragedy, and by the disorder, as the night-gown which was thrown upon skilful to improve it; some of which I would wish her shoulders was ruffled with great care. entirely rejected, and the rest to be used with cau- part, I am so shocked with every thing which looks tion. It would be an endless task to consider co-immodest in the fair sex, that I could not forbear medy in the same light, and to mention the innumerable shifts that small wits put in practice to raise a laugh. Bullock in a short coat, and Norris in a long one, seldom fail of this effect. In ordinary comedies, a broad and a narrow-brimmed hat are

I hate to see, and never can believe.-RoscoMMON.

different characters. Sometimes the wit of the scene

lies in a shoulder-belt, and sometimes in a pair of whiskers. A lover running about the stage with his head peeping out of a barrel, was thought a very good jest in King Charles the Second's time; and invented by one of the first wits of that age. But because ridicule is not so delicate as compassion, and because the objects that make us laugh are infinitely more numerous than those that make us weep, there is a much greater latitude for comic than tragic artifices, and by consequence a much greater indulgence to be allowed them.-C.

No. 45.] SATURDAY, APRIL 21, 1711.
Natio comoda est.-Juv. Sat. iii. 100.
The nation is a company of players.
THERE is nothing which I desire more than a safe
I

and honourable peace, though at the same time
am very apprehensive of many ill consequences that
may attend it. I do not mean in regard to our poli-
tics, but to our manners. What an inundation of
ribands and brocades will break in upon us! What
peals of laughter and impertinence shail we be ex-
posed to! For the prevention of these great evils I
could heartily wish that there was an act of parlia
ment for prohibiting the importation of French
fopperies.

For my

taking off my eye from her when she moved in bed, and was in the greatest confusion imaginable every time she stirred a leg or an arm. As the coquettes who introduced this custom grew old they left it off by degrees, well knowing that a woman of threescore may kick and tumble her heart out without making any impression.

Sempronia is at present the most professed admirer of the French nation, but is so molest as to admit her visitants no farther than her toilet. It is a very odd sight that beautiful creature makes, when she is talking politics with her tresses flowing about her shoulders, and examining that face in the glass which does such execution upon all the male standers-by. How prettily does she divide her discourse between her woman and her visitants! What sprightly transitions does she make from an opera or a sermon to an ivory comb or a pincushion! How have I been pleased to see her interrupted in an account of her travels, by a message to her footman; and holding her tongue in the midst of a moral reflection, by applying the tip of it to a patch!

There is nothing which exposes a woman to greater dangers, than that gaiety and airiness of temper which are natural to most of the sex. It should be therefore the concern of every wise and virtuous woman to keep this sprightliness from degenerating and behaviour of the French is to make the sex more into levity. On the contrary, the whole discourse fantastical, or (as they are pleased to term it) more discretion. To speak loud in public assemblies, to awakened, than is consistent either with virtue or let every one hear you talk of things that should only The female inhabitants of our island have already be mentioned in private or in whisper, are looked received very strong impressions from this ludicrous upon as parts of a refined education. At the same nation, though by the length of the war (as there is bred than any thing that can be spoken. In short, time a blush is unfashionable, and silence more illno evil which has not some good attending it) they discretion and modesty, which in all other ages and are pretty well worn out and forgotten. I remember countries have been regarded as the greatest ornathe time when some of our well-bred countrywomenments of the fair sex, are considered as the ingredikept their valet de chambre, because, forsooth, a man was much more handy about them than one of their own sex. I myself have seen one of these male Abigails tripping about the room with a looking-glass in his hand, and combing his lady's hair a whole morning together. Whether or no there was any truth in the story of a lady's being got with child by one of these her handmaids, I cannot tell; but

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ents of a narrow conversation, and family behaviour. and unfortunately placed myself under a woman of Some years ago I was at the tragedy of Macbeth, quality that is since dead, who, as I found by the A little before the rising of the curtain, she broke noise she made, was newly returned from France. out into a loud soliloquy, "When will the dear witches enter?" and immediately upon their first appearance, asked a lady that sat three boxes from her on her right hand, if those witches were not charm

ing creatures. A little after, as Betterton was in one of the finest speeches of the play, she shook her fan at another lady who sat as far on her left hand, and told her with a whisper that might be heard all over the pit, "We must not expect to see Balloon tonight." Not long after, calling out to a young baronet by his name, who sat three seats before me, she asked him whether Macbeth's wife was still alive; and before he could give an answer, fell a talking of the ghost of Banquo. She had by this time formed a little audience to herself, and fixed the attention of all about her. But as I had a mind to hear the play, I got out of the sphere of her impertinence, and planted myself in one of the remotest corners of the pit.

This pretty childishness of behaviour is one of the most refined parts of coquetry, and is not to be attained in perfection by ladies that do not travel for their improvement. A natural and unconstrained behaviour has something in it so agreeable, that it is no wonder to see people endeavouring after it. But at the same time it is so very hard to hit, when it is not born with us, that people often make themselves ridiculous in attempting it.

selves with it at one end of the coffee-house. It had raised so much laughter among them before I had observed what they were about, that I had not the courage to own it. The boy of the coffee-house, when they had done with it, carried it about in his hand, asking every body if they had dropped a written paper; but nobody challenging it, he was ordered by those merry gentlemen who had before perused it, to get up into the auction pulpit, and read it to the whole room, that if any one would own it, they might. The boy accordingly mounted the pulpit, and with a very audible voice read as follows:

MINUTES.

Sir Roger de Coverley's country seat-Yes, for I hate long speeches-Query, if a good Christian may be a conjuror-Childermas-day, saltseller, housedog, screech-owl, cricket-Mr. Thomas Incle of London, in the good ship called the Achilles-Yarico Egrescitque medendo-Ghosts-The Lady's Library-Lion by trade a tailor-Dromedary called Bucephalus Equipage the lady's summum bonumCharles Lillie to be taken notice of Short face a relief to envy-Redundancies in the three profesA very ingenious French author tells us, that the sions-King Latinus a recruit-Jew devouring a ladies of the court of France in his time thought it ham of bacon-Westminster-abbey-Grand Cairoill-breeding, and a kind of female pedantry, to pro- Procrastination-April fools-Blue boars, red lions, nounce a hard word right; for which reason they hogs in armour-Enter a king and two fiddlers solus took frequent occasion to use hard words, that they-Admission into the Ugly club-Beauty how immight show a politeness in murdering them. He provable-Families of true and false humour-The farther adds, that a lady of some quality at court hav-parrot's school-mistress-Face half Pict half British ing accidentally made use of a hard word in a proper -No man to be a hero of a tragedy under six footplace, and pronounced it right, the whole assembly was out of countenance for her.

Club of sighers-Letters from flower-pots, elbowchairs, tapestry-figures, lion, thunder-The bell rings to the puppet-show-Old woman with a beard married to a smock-faced boy-My next coat to be turned up with blue-Fable of tongs and gridiron Flower dyers-The soldier's prayer-Thank ye for nothing, says the gallipot-Pactolus in stockings with golden clocks to them-Bamboos, cudgels, drum-sticks-Slip of my landlady's eldest daughter

I must however be so just to own, that there are many ladies who have travelled several thousands of miles without being the worse for it, and have brought home with them all the modesty, discretion, and good sense that they went abroad with. As, on the contrary, there are great numbers of travelled ladies who have lived all their days within the smoke of London. I have known a woman that never was-The black mare with a star in her forehead-The out of the parish of St. James's, betray as many foreign fopperies in her carriage, as she could have gleaned in half the countries of Europe.-C.

No. 46.] MONDAY, APRIL 23, 1711.
Non bene junctarum discordia semina rerum.

OVID. Met. 1. i. ver. 9.

barber's pole-Will Honeycomb's coat-pocket— Caesar's behaviour and my own in parallel circumstances-Poem in patch-work-Nulli gravi est percussus Achilles-The female conventicler-The ogle-master.

The reading of this paper made the whole coffeehouse very merry; some of them concluded it was written by a madman, and others by somebody that The jarring seeds of ill-concerted things. had been taking notes out of the Spectator. One WHEN I want materials for this paper, it is my who had the appearance of a very substantial citicustom to go abroad in quest of game; and when I zen, told us, with several political winks and nods, meet any proper subject, I take the first opportunity that he wished there was no more in the paper than of setting down a hint of it upon paper. At the what was expressed in it: that for his part, he looked same time, I look into the letters of my correspond-upon the dromedary, the gridiron, and the barber's ents, and if I find any thing suggested in them that pole, to signify something more than what was may afford matter of speculation, I likewise enter a usually meant by those words: and that he thought minute of it in my collection of materials. By this the coffee-man could not do better than to carry the means I frequently carry about me a whole sheetful paper to one of the secretaries of state. He farther of hints, that would look like a rhapsody of non-added, that he did not like the name of the outlandsense to anybody but myself. There is nothing in ish man with the golden clock in his stockings. A them but obscurity and confusion, raving and incon-young Oxford scholar, who chanced to be with his sistency. In short, they are my speculations in the first principles, that (like the world in its chaos) are void of all light, distinction, and order.

uncle at the coffee-house, discovered to us who this Pactolus was: and by that means turned the whole scheme of this worthy citizen into ridicule. While About a week since there happened to me a very they were making their several conjectures upon odd accident, by reason of one of these my papers this innocent paper, I reached out my arm to the boy of minutes which I had accidentally dropped at as he was coming out of the pulpit, to give it me; Lloyd's coffee house, where the auctions are usually which he did accordingly. This drew the eyes of kept. Before I missed it, there were a cluster of the whole company upon me; but after having cast people who had found it, and were diverting them-a cursory glance over it, and shook my head twice

all his works, after some very curious observations upon laughter, concludes thus: "The passion of laughter is nothing else but sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ourselves, by comparison with the infinities of others, or with our own formerly: for men laugh at the follies of themselves past, when they come suddenly to remembrance, except they bring with them any present dishonour."

or thrice at the reading of it, I twisted it into a kind of match, and lighted my pipe with it. My profound silence, together with the steadiness of my countenance, and the gravity of my behaviour during this whole transaction, raised a very loud laugh on all sides of me; but as I had escaped all suspicion of being the author, I was very well satisfied, and applying myself to my pipe and the Postman, took no farther notice of any thing that had passed about me. My reader will find, that I have already made use According to this author, therefore, when we hear of above half the contents of the foregoing paper; a man laugh excessively, instead of saying he is and will easily suppose, that those subjects which very merry, we ought to tell him he is very proud. are yet untouched were such provisions as I had And indeed, if we look into the bottom of this matmade for his future entertainment. But as I have ter, we shall meet with many observations to confirm been unluckily prevented by this accident, I shall us in this opinion. Every one laughs at somebody only give him the letters which related to the two that is in an inferior state of folly to himself. It was last hints. The first of them I should not have pub- formerly the custom for every great house in Englished, were I not informed that there is many a land to keep a tame fool dressed in petticoats, that husband who suffers very much in his private affairs the heir of the family might have an opportunity of by the indiscreet zeal of such a partner as is here- joking upon him, and diverting himself with his abafter mentioned; to whom I may apply the bar surdities. For the same reason, idiots are still in barous inscription quoted by the Bishop of Salis-request in most of the courts of Germany, where bury in his travels: Dum nimia pia est facta est im-there is not a prince of any great magnificence, who pia. "Through too much piety she became impious." has not two or three dressed, distinguished, undis"SIR, puted fools in his retinue, whom the rest of the cour

"I am one of those unhappy men that are plagued tiers are always breaking their jests upon. with a gospel gossip, so common among dissenters The Dutch, who are more famous for their indus. (especially friends). Lectures in the morning, try and application than for wit and humour, hang church-meetings at noon, and preparation-sermons up in several of their streets what they call the sign at night, take up so much of her time, it is very rare of the Gaper, that is, the head of an idiot dressed in she knows what we have for dinner, unless when the a cap and bells, and gaping in a most immoderate preacher is to be at it. With him come a tribe, all manner. This is a standing jest at Amsterdam. brothers and sisters it seems; while others, really Thus every one diverts himself with some person such, are deemed no relations. If at any time I or other that is below him in point of understandhave her company alone, she is a mere sermon pop-ing, and triumphs in the superiority of his genius, gun, repeating and discharging texts, proofs, and whilst he has such objects of derision before his eyes. applications so perpetually, that however weary I Mr. Dennis has very well expressed this in a couple may go to bed, the noise in my head will not let me of humorous lines, which are part of a translation of sleep till towards morning. The misery of my case, a satire in Monsieur Boileau:and great numbers of such sufferers, plead your pity and speedy relief; otherwise I must expect, in a little time, to be lectured, preached, and prayed into want, unless the happiness of being sooner talked to death prevent it. "I am, &c.

"R. G." The second letter, relative to the ogling-master, runs thus:

"MR. SPECTATOR,

"I am an Irish gentleman that have travelled many years for my improvement; during which time I have accomplished myself in the whole art of ogling, as it is at present practised in the polite nations of Europe. Being thus qualified, I intend, by the advice of my friends, to set up for an oglingmaster. I teach the church ogle in the morning, and the play-house ogle by candle-light. I have also brought over with me a new flying ogle fit for the ring; which I teach in the dusk of the evening, or in any hour of the day, by darkening one of my windows. I have a manuscript by me called The Complete Ogler, which I shall make ready to show on any occasion. In the mean time, I beg you will publish the substance of this letter in an advertisement, and you will very much oblige, C.

Your, &c."

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Thus one fool lolls his tongue out at another,

And shakes his empty noddle at his brother.

Mr. Hobbs's reflection gives us the reason why the insignificant people above-mentioned are stirrers up of laughter among men of a gross taste: but as the more understanding part of mankind do not find their risibility affected by such ordinary objects, it may be worth the while to examine into the several provocatives of laughter in men of superior sense and knowledge.

In the first place I must observe, that there is a set of merry drolls, whom the common people of all countries admire, and seem to love so well, "that they could eat them," according to the old proverb: I mean those circumforaneous wits whom every nation calls by the name of that dish of meat which it loves best: in Holland they are termed Pickled Herrings; in France, Jean Pottages; in Italy, Macaronies; and in Great Britain, Jack Puddings." These merry wags, from whatsoever food they receive their titles, that they may make their audiences laugh, always appear in a fool's coat, and commit such blunders and mistakes in every step they take, and every word they utter, as those who listen to them would be ashamed of.

But this little triumph of the understanding, under the disguise of laughter, is no where more visible than in that custom which prevails every where among us on the first day of the present month, when every body takes it into his head to make as many fools as he can. In proportion as there are more follies discovered, so there is more laughter on this day than on any other in the whole year. A neigh

No. 48.] WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25, 1711.
Per multas aditum sibi sæpe figuras
OVID. Met. xiv. 652.

bour of mine, who is a haberdasher by trade, and a I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit very shallow conceited fellow, makes his boast that is in other men."-C. for these ten years successively he has not made less than a hundred April fools. My landlady had a falling out with him about a fortnight ago, for sending every one of her children upon some sleeveless errand, as she terms it. Her eldest son went to buy a halfpenny-worth of inkle at a shoemaker's; the Through various shapes he often finds access. eldest daughter was dispatched half a mile to see a My correspondents take it ill if I do not, from monster; and in short the whole family of innocent time to time, let them know I have received their children made April fools. Nay, my landlady her-letters. The most effectual way will be to publish self did not escape him. This empty fellow has laughed upon these conceits ever since.

This art of wit is weil enough, when confined to one day in a twelvemonth; but there is an ingenious tribe of men sprung up of late years, who are for making April fools every day in the year. These gentlemen are commonly distinguished by the name of Biters: a race of men that are perpetually employed in laughing at those mistakes which are of their own production.

Thus we see, in proportion as one man is more refined than another, he chooses his fool out of a lower or higher class of mankind; or to speak in a more philosophical language, that secret elation or pride of heart which is generally called laughter, arises in him, from his comparing himself with an object below him, whether it so happens that it be a natural or an artificial fool. It is, indeed, very possible that the persons we laugh at may in the main of their characters be much wiser men than ourselves; but if they would have us laugh at them, they must fall short of us in those respects which stir up this passion.

I am afraid I shall appear too abstracted in my speculations, if I show, that when a man of wit makes us laugh, it is by betraying some oddness or infirmity in his own character, or in the representa tion which he makes of others; and that when we laugh at a brute, or even at an inanimate thing, it is at some action or incident that bears a remote analogy to any blunder or absurdity in reasonable creatures. But to come into common life; I shall pass by the consideration of those stage coxcombs that are able to shake a whole audience, and take notice of a

Repperit

some of them that are upon important subjects; which I shall introduce with a letter of my own that I writ a fortnight ago to a fraternity who thought fit to make me an honorary member.

To the President and Fellows of the Ugly Club. "MAY IT PLEASE YOUR DEFORMITIES.

"I have received the notification of the honour

you have done me, in admitting me into your society. I acknowledge my want of merit, and for that reason shall endeavour at all times to make up my own failures, by introducing and recommending to the club persons of more undoubted qualifications than I can pretend to. I shall next week come down in the stage-coach, in order to take my seat at the board; and shall bring with me a candidate of each sex. The persons I shall present to you, are an old beau and a modern Pict. If they are not so eminently gifted by nature as our assembly expects, give me leave to say their acquired ugliness is greater than any that has ever yet appeared before you. The beau has varied his dress every day in his life for these thirty years past, and still added to the deformity he was born with. The Pict has still greater merit towards us, and has, ever since she came to years of discretion, deserted the handsome party, and taken all possible pains to acquire the face in which I shall present her to your consideration and favour.

"I am, Gentlemen,

"Your most obliged humble servant, "THE SPECTATOR." "P.S. I desire to know whether you admit peo

"MR. SPECTATOR,

particular sort of men who are such provokers of ple of quality."
mirth in conversation, that it is impossible for a club
or merry meeting to subsist without them-I mean
those honest gentlemen that are always exposed to
the wit and raillery of their well-wishers and compa-
nions; that are pelted by men, women, and children,
friends and foes, and in a word, stand as butts in
conversation, for every one to shoot at that pleases.
I know several of these butts who are men of wit and
sense, though by some odd turn of humour, some un-
lucky cast in their person or behaviour, they have
always the misfortune to make the company merry.
The truth of it is, a man is not qualified for a butt,
who has not a good deal of wit and vivacity, even in
the ridiculous side of his character. A stupid butt
is only fit for the conversation of ordinary people:
men of wit require one that will give them play, and
bestir himself in the absurd part of his behaviour. A
butt with these accomplishments frequently gets the
laugh on his side, and turns the ridicule upon him
that attacks him. Sir John Falstaff was a hero of
this species, and gives a good description of him-
self in his capacity of a butt, after the following
manner: "Men of all sorts," says that merry
knight, "take a pride to gird at me. The brain of
man is not able to invent any thing that tends to
laughter more than I invent, or is invented on me.

April 17.

"To show you there are among us of the vain weak sex, some that have honesty and fortitude enough to dare to be ugly, and willing to be thought so, I apply myself to you, to beg your interest and recommendation to the ugly club. If my own word will not be taken (though in this case a woman's may), I can bring credible witnesses of my qualifications for their company, whether they insist upon hair, forehead, eyes, cheeks, or chin; to which I must add, that find it easier to lean to my left side than to my right. I hope I am in all respects agreeable; and for humour and mirth, I will keep up to the president himself. All the favour I will pretend to is, that as I am the first woman who has appeared desirous of good company and agreeable conversation, I may take, and keep, the upper end of the table. And indeed I think they want a carver, which I can be, after as ugly a manner as they could wish. I desire your thoughts of my claim as soon as you can. Add to my features the length of my face, which is a full half-yard; though I never knew the reason of it till you gave one for the shortness of yours. If I knew a name ugly enough to belong to the above described face, I would feign one; but, to my unspeakable misfortune, my name is the only

disagreeable prettiness about me; so prythee make
one for me that signifies all the deformity in the
world. You understand Latin, but be sure bring it
in with my being, in the sincerity of my heart,
"Your most frightful admirer and servant,
"HECATISSA."

"MR. SPECTATOR,

A

could not be contented to act heathen warriors, and
such fellows as Alexander, but must presume to
make a mockery of one of the quorum.
R.
"Your servant."

No. 49.] THURSDAY, APRIL 26, 1711.
-Hominem pagina nostra sapit.-Mart.

Men and manners I describe.

"I read your discourse upon affectation, and from the remarks made in it, examined my own heart so strictly, that I thought I had found out its Ir is very natural for a man who is not turned for most secret avenues, with a resolution to be aware mirthful meetings of men, or assemblies of the fair of them for the future. But, alas! to my sorrow I sex, to delight in that sort of conversation which we now understand that I have several follies which I find in coffee-houses. Here a man of my temper is do not know the root of. I am an old fellow, and in his element; for if he cannot talk, he can still extremely troubled with the gout; but having al- be more agreeable to his company, as well as pleased ways a strong vanity towards being pleasing in the in himself, in being only a hearer. It is a secret eyes of women, I never have a moment's ease, but I known but to few, yet of no small use in the conduct am mounted in high-heeled shoes, with a glazed wax- of life, that when you fall into a man's conversation, leather instep. Two days after a severe fit, I was the first thing you should consider is, whether he has invited to a friend's house in the city, where I be- a greater inclination to hear you, or that you should lieved I should see ladies; and with my usual com- hear him. The latter is the more general desire, and plaisance, crippled myself to wait upon them. I know very able flatterers that never speak a word very sumptuous table, agreeable company, and kind in praise of the persons from whom they obtain daily reception, were but so many importunate additions favours, but still practise a skilful attention to whatto the torment I was in. A gentleman of the fa-ever is uttered by those with whom they converse. mily observed my condition; and soon after the queen's health, he in the presence of the whole company, with his own hands, degraded me into an old pair of his own shoes. This operation before fine ladies, to me (who am by nature a coxcomb) was suffered with the same reluctance as they admit the help of men in the greatest extremity. The return of ease made me forgive the rough obligation laid upon me, which at that time relieved my body from a distemper, and will my mind for ever from a folly. For the charity received, I return my thanks this

way.

"Your most humble servant."

"SIR, Epping, April 18. "We have your papers here the morning they come out, and we have been very well entertained with your last, upon the false ornaments of persons who represent neroes in a tragedy. What made your speculation come very seasonably among us is, that we have now at this place a company of strollers, who are far from offending in the impertinent splendour of the drama. They are so far from falling into these false gallantries, that the stage is here in in its original situation of a cart. Alexander the Great was acted by a fellow in a paper cravat. The next day the Earl of Essex seemed to have no distress but his poverty; and my Lord Foppington the same morning wanted any better means to show himself a fop, than by wearing stockings of different colours. In a word, though they have had a full barn for many days together, our itinerants are still so wretchedly poor, that without you can prevail to send us the furniture you forbid at the playhouse, the heroes appear only like sturdy beggars, and the heroines gipsies. We have had but one part which was performed and dressed with propriety, and that was Justice Clodpate. This was so well done, that it offended Mr. Justice Overdo, who, in the midst of our whole audience, was (like Quixote in the puppet-show) so highly provoked, that he told them, if they would move compassion, it should be in their own persons, and not in the characters of distressed princes and potentates. He told them, if they were so good at finding the way to people's hearts, they should do it at the end of bridges or church porches, in their proper vocation of beggars. This, the justice says, they must expect, since they

We are very curious to observe the behaviour of great men and their clients; but the same passions and interests move men in lower spheres; and I (that have nothing else to do but make observations) see in every parish, street, lane, and alley, of this populous city, a little potentate that has his court and his flatterers, who lay snares for his affection and favour by the same arts that are practised upon men in higher stations.

In the place I most usually frequent, men differ rather in the time of day in which they make a figure, than in any real greatness above one another. I, who am at the coffee-house at six in the morning, know that my friend Beaver, the haberdasher, has a levee of more undissembled friends and admirers than most of the courtiers or generals of Great Britain. Every man about him has, perhaps, a newspaper in his hand; but none can pretend to guess what step will be taken in any one court of Europe, till Mr. Beaver has thrown down his pipe, and declares what measures the allies must enter into upon this new posture of affairs. Our coffeehouse is near one of the inns of court, and Beaver has the audience and admiration of his neighbours from six till within a quarter of eight, at which time he is interrupted by the students of the house; some of whom are ready dressed for Westminster at eight in a morning, with faces as busy as if they were retained in every cause there; and others come in their night-gowns to saunter away their time, as if they never designed to go thither. I do not know that I meet in any of my walks, objects which move both my spleen and laughter so effectually, as those young fellows at the Grecian, Squire's, Searle's, and all other coffee-houses adjacent to the law, who rise early for no other purpose but to publish their laziness. One would think these young virtuosos take a gay cap and slippers, with a scarf and party-coloured gown, to be the ensigns of dignity; for the vain things approach each other with an air, which shews they regard one another for their vestments. I have observed, that the superiority among these proceeds from an opinion of gallantry and fashion. The gentleman in the strawberry sash, who presides so much over the rest, bas, seems, subscribed to every opera this last winter, and is supposed to receive favours from one of the actresses.

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