Rig-Fun. I fancy you had better banish the suttlers, and blow the Geneva casks to the devil. Aldi. Thou counsellest well, my Rignum Funnidos, And reason seems to father thy advice: Enter KING. [They retire. Capt. To arms! to arms! great Chrononho- The Antipodean powers, from realms below, A blazing bullet, bigger than the sun, King. Peace, coward! were they wedged like King. This god of sleep is watchful to torment Or pent so close, as to admit no vacuum, me. Enter RIGDUM and ALDIBORONTI. Rig. The king is in a most cursed passion! Pray who the devil is this Mr. Somnus, he's so angry withal? Aldi. The son of Chaos and of Erebus, Rig. This gentleman may come of a very good family, for aught I know; but I would not be in his place for the world. Aldi. But lo! the king, his footsteps this way His cogitative faculties immersed, Let silence close our folding doors of speech, Enter King, Nobles, and Attendants, &c. One look from Chrononhotonthologos Bid Bombardinian draw his legions forth, For rites of triumph: Let the singing singers, In sweet vociferation, out-vociferize SCENE II.-A magnificent apartment. Enter QUEEN, TATLANTHE, and two Ladies. Queen. Day's curtain's drawn, the morn begins to rise, And waking nature rubs her sleepy eyes: King. It is resolved---Now Somnus, I defy Bid him come in. What think yc of a dance? thee, And from mankind ampute thy cursed dominion. Ui scene [The flat scene draws. The King is seated, Enter Fiddler. [Queen and Ladies dance the Black Joak. Bring in the tea things; does the kettle boil? So much for dancing; now let's rest awhile. en-Through eager hope to kiss your royal lip. Tat. The water bubbles and the tea-cups skip, [Tea brought in. Queen. Come ladies will you please to chuse | A grand triumph.--Enter CHRONONHOTON THO was seen, So gracious, sweet, and affable a queen! 2d Lady. She is an angel! 1st. Lady. She's a goddess, rather! LOGOS, guards and attendants, &c. met by RIGDUM-FUNNIDOS and ALDIBORONTIPHOS COPHORNIO. Aldi. All hail to Chrononhotonthologos ! Tat. She's angel, queen, and goddess, alto- Intreat you to inspect our inmost souls, ther! Rig. Egad, we're in the wrong box! Who the devil would have thought that Chrononhotonthologos should be at that mortal sight of Tippodeans? Why there's not a mother's child of them to be seen! 'egad they footed it away as fast as their hands could carry them; but they have left their king behind them. We have him safe, that's one comfort. Aldi. Would he were still at amplest liberty! A solemn triumph graces his return. And read, in them, what tongue can never utter. To thee and gentle Rigdum-Funnidos, Rig. Now my dear little Phorscophorny, for a swinging lie to bring the queen off, and I'll ron with it to her this minute, that we may all be in a say, Say she has got the thorough-go-nimble. [Whispers, and steals off. Aldi. Speak not, great Chrononhotonthologos, In accents so injuriously severe, Of Fadladinida, your faithful queen : By me she sends an embassy of love. Sweet blandishments, and kind congratulations, But, cannot, Oh! she cannot come herself. King. Our rage is turned to fear: What ails the queen? Aldi. A sudden diarrhæa's rapid force King. Bid the physicians of the world assemble Tat Can I guess what, unless you tell, my queen? Queen. The king, I mean? Tat. Just now returned from war, He rides like Mars in his triumphal car. Conquest precedes, with laurels in his hand; Behind him Fame does on her tripos stand; Her golden trump shrill through the air she sounds, Which rends the earth, and thence to Heaven rebounds; Trophies and spoils innumerable grace This triumph, which all triumphs does deface: Haste then, great queen! your hero thus to meet, Who longs to lay his laurels at your feet. Queen. Art mad, Tatlanthe? I meant no such thing. Your talk's distasteful. Tat. Didn't you name the king? Queen. I did, Tatlanthe, but it was not thine; The charming king I mean, is only mine. Tat. Who else, who else, but such a charming fair, In Chrononhotonthologos should share? While on the slaughtered heaps himself did rise, The gods all hailed, and fain would have him stay; But your bright charms have called him thence away. Queen. This does my utmost indignation raise: Do not, great queen, your anger thus display! Queen. No, find it out. Tat. No, I will never leave you here I'll grow, Till you some token of forgiveness show: Oh! all ye powers above, come down, come down! And froin her brow dispel that angry frown. Queen. Tatlanthe, rise; you have prevailed at last: Offend no more, and I'll excuse what's past. [TATLANTHE aside, rising. Tat. Why, what a fool was I, not to perceive her passion for the topsy-turvy king, the gentleman that carries his head where his heels should bc? But I must tack about I see. [To the QUEEN. Excuse me, gracious madam! if my heart Bears sympathy with your's in every part; With you alike I sorrow and rejoice, Approve your passion, and commend your choice; The captive king Queen. That's he! that's he! that's be! I'd die ten thousand deaths to set him free: Oh! my Tatlanthe! have you seen his face, His air, his shape, his mein, his every grace? In what a charming attitude he stands! How prettily he foots it with his hands! Well, to his arms, no, to his legs, I fly, For I must have him, if I live or die. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-A bed chamber. CHRONONHOTONTHOLOGOS asleep. Rough music, viz. Salt-boxes and rolling-pins ; grid-irons and tongs ; sow-gelders' horns, marrow-bones and cleavers, &c. &c. [He wakes. Chron. What heavenly sounds are these that charm my ears! Sure 'tis the music of the tuneful spheres. Enter Captain of the guards. Capt. A messenger from general Bombardinian Craves instant audience of your majesty. Command your freedom, by this sacred ring; SCENE IV.-BOMBARDINIAN'S tent. Then command me: What says my charming King and BOMBARDINIAN at a table, with two king? [She puts the ring in his mouth, he bends the sea-crab, and makes a roaring noise. Queen. What can this mean! he lays his feet at mine, Is this of love or hate his country's sign? Venus and Cupid descend in her chariot, and sing. AIR. Ven. See Venus does attend thee, With pity and compassion, My dilding, my dolding. She sees thy tender passion, Lilly, &c. da capo. AIR.—Changes. To thee I yield my power divine, Demand whate'er thou wilt, 'tis thine, Take this magic wand in hand, All the world's at thy command, ladies. Bom. This honour, royal sir, so royalizes The royalty of your most royal actions, The dumb can only utter forth your praise; For we, who speak, want words to tell our meaning. [Venus and Cupid re-ascend; the Queen goes off, and the king of the Antipodes follows, walking on his hands. Here! fill the goblet with Phalernian wine, And, while our monarch drinks, bid the shrill trumpet Tell all the gods, that we propine their healths. King. Hold, Bombardinian! I esteem it fit, With so much wine, to eat a little bit. Bom. See that the table instantly be spread, With all that art and nature can produce. Traverse from pole to pole; sail round the globe, Bring every eatable that can be eat; The king shall eat, though all mankind be starved. Cook. I am afraid his majesty will be starved, before I can run round the world for a dinner; besides, where's the money? King. Ha! dost thou prattle, contumacious slave? Guards, seize the villain! broil him, fry him, stew him; Ourselves shall eat him out of inere revenge. Cook. O, pray your majesty spare my life; there's some nice cold pork in the pantry: I'll hash it for your majesty in a minute. Chron. Be thou first hashed in hell, audacious slave! [Kills him, and turns to BOMBARDINIAN. Hashed pork! shall Chrononhotonthologos Be fed with swine's flesh, and at second-hand? Now, by the gods, thou dost insult us, general! Bom. The gods can witness, that I little thought Your majesty to other flesh than this [Points to the ladies. King. Is this a dinner for a hungry monarch? Bomb. Monarchs as great as Chrononhoton Have made a very hearty meal of worse. thologos, King. Ha! Traitor! dost thou brave me to my teeth? Take this reward, and learn to mock thy master. [Strikes him. Bom. A blow! shall Bombardinian take a blow? Blush! Blush, thou sun! Start back, thou rapid ocean! Hills! vales! seas! mountains! all commixing, Ha! What have I done? Go, call a coach, and let a coach be called; And let the man that calls it be the caller; And, in his calling, let him nothing call, But coach! coach! coach! Oh! for a coach, ye gods! [Exit raving. Returns with a Doctor. Bom. How fares your majesty? Bom. Ha! dead! impossible! it cannot be! I would not believe it, though himself should swear it. Go, join his body to his soul again, Or, by this light, thy soul shall quit thy body! Doc. My lord, he's far beyond the power of physic: His soul has left his body, and this world. And, if I find thou trifles with me there, Enter QUEEN and others. Has left me so; is not that a wretched thing? Tut. Why, then, dear madam! make no farther pother, Were I your majesty, I would try another. Rig. Ay, that I can, and please your majesty. So, ceremonies apart, let us proceed to business. Queen. Oh! but the mourning takes up all my care; I am at a loss what kind of weeds to wear. row. I'll make thee a great man, my little Phoscophorny. To ALDI. aside, Aldi. I scorn your bounty; I'll be king, or nothing. Draw, miscreant! draw! Rig. No, sir, I'll take the law. [Runs behind the Queen. Queen. Well, gentlemen, to make the matter easy, I'll have you both; and that, I hope will please ye. Make preparation for our wedding day. [Exeunt omnes. |