Зображення сторінки
PDF
ePub

tleman that had entered the coffee-house since the projector applied himself to me, hearing him talk of his Swiss compositions, cried out in a kind of laugh, "Is our music then to receive farther improvements from Switzerland ?" This alarmed the projector, who immediately let go my button, and turned about to answer him. I took the opportunity of the diversion which seemed to be made in favour of me, and laying down my penny upon the bar, retired with some precipitation.-C.

No. 32.

FRIDAY, APRIL 6, 1711.
Nil illi larva aut tragicis opus esse cothurnis.
HOR. 1 Sat. v. 64.

He wants no tragie vizor to increase
His natural deformity of face.

you first advance, viz. That our faces are not of our own choosing, people had been transported beyond all good breeding, and hurried themselves into unaccountable and fatal extravagances; as, how many impartial looking-glasses had been censured and calumniated, nay, and sometimes shivered into ten thousand splinters, only for a fair representation of the truth? How many bead-strings and garters had been made accessary and actually forfeited, only because folks must needs quarrel with their own shadows? And who,' continues he, but is deeply sensible, that one great source of the uneasiness and misery of human life, especially amongst those of distinction, arises from nothing in the world else, but too severe a contemplation of an indefeasible con texture of our external parts, or certain natural and invincible dispositions to be fat or lean?-when a THE late discourse concerning the statutes of the little more of Mr. Spectator's philosophy would take Ugly Club, having been so well received at Oxford, off all this. In the mean time let them observe, that, contrary to the strict rules of the society, they that there is not one of their grievances of this sort, have been so partial as to take my own testimonial, but perhaps, in some ages of the world, has been and admit me into that select body; I could not re-highly in vogue, and may be so again; nay, in some strain the vanity of publishing to the world the ho- country or another, ten to one is so at this day. My nour which is done me. It is no small satisfaction Lady Ample is the most miserable woman in the that I have given occasion for the President's shew-world, purely of her own making. She even grudges ing both his invention and reading to such advan-herself meat and drink, for fear she should thrive by tage as my correspondent reports he did: but it is them; and is constantly crying out, In a quarter not to be doubted there were many very proper hums of a year more I shall be quite out of all manner of and pauses in his harangue, which lose their ugliness in the narration, and which my correspondent (begging his pardon) has no very good talent at representing. I very much approve of the contempt the society has of beauty. Nothing ought to be laudable in a man, in which his will is not concerned; therefore our society can follow nature, and where she has thought fit, as it were, to mock herself, we can do so too, and be merry upon the occasion.

[ocr errors][merged small]

"Your making public the late trouble I gave you, you will find to have been the occasion of this. Who should I meet at the coffee-house door the other night, but my old friend Mr. President? I saw somewhat had pleased him; and as soon as he had cast his eye upon me, 'Oho, doctor, rare news from London,' says he; the Spectator has made honourable mention of the club (man,) and published to the world his sincere desire to be a member, with a recommendatory description of his phiz; and though our constitution has made no particular provision for short faces, yet his being an extraordinary case, I believe we shall find a hole for him to creep in at; for I assure you he is not against the canon; and if his sides are as compact as his joles, he need not disguise himself to make one of us.' I presently called for the paper, to see how you looked in print; and after we had regaled ourselves awhile upon the pleasant image of our proselyte, Mr. President told me I should be his stranger at the next night's club; where we were no sooner come, and pipes brought, but Mr. President began an harangue upon your introduction to my epistle, setting forth with no less volubility of speech than strength of reason, That a speculation of this nature was what had been long and much wanted! and that he doubted not but it would be of inestimable value to the public, in reconciling even of bodies and souls; in composing and quieting the minds of men under all corporeal redundancies, deficiencies, and irregularities whatsoever; and making every one sit down content in his own carcass, though it were not perhaps so mathematically put together as he could wish.' And again, How that for want of a due consideration of what

shape! Now the lady's misfortune seems to be only this, that she is planted in a wrong soil; for go but to the other side of the water, it is a jest at Haerlem to talk of a shape under eighteen stone. These wise traders regulate their beauties as they do their butter, by the pound; and Miss Cross, when she first arrived in the Low Countries, was not com. puted to be so handsome as Madam Van Brisket by near half a tou. On the other hand, there is 'Squire Lath, a proper gentleman of 1,500l. per annum, as well as of unblamable life and conversation; yet would I not be the esquire for half his estate; for if it was as much more, he would freely part with it all for a pair of legs to his mind. Whereas, in the reign of our first Edward of glorious memory, nothing more modish than a brace of your fine taper supporters; and his majesty, without an inch of calf, managed affairs in peace or war as laudably as the bravest and most politic of his ancestors; and was as terrible to his neighbours under the royal name of Longshanks, as Coeur de Lion to the Saracens before him. If we look farther back into history, we shall find that Alexander the Great wore his head a little over his left shoulder, and then not a soul stirred out till he had adjusted his neck-bone; the whole nobility addressed the prince and each other obliquely, and all matters of importance were concerted and carried on in the Macedonian court, with their polls on one side. For about the first century nothing made more noise in the world than Roman noses, and then not a word of them till they revived again in eighty-eight. Nor is it so very long since Richard the Third set up half the backs of the nation; and high shoulders, as well as high noses, were the top of the fashion. But to come to ourselves, gentlemen, though I find by my quingennial observations, that we shall never get ladies enough to make a party in our own country, yet might we meet with better success among some of our allies. And what think you if our board sat for a Dutch piece? Truly I am of opinion, that as odd as we appear in flesh

whom Dryden, in the plates to his translation of Virgil, had On the accession of King William JII., in compliment to Eneas always represented with a Roman nose.

fellow.'

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

accom

and blood, we should be no such strange things in | insupportably vain and insolent towards all who have mezzo-tinto. But this project may rest till our num- to do with her. Daphne, who was almost twenty ber is complete; and this being our election night, before one civil thing had ever been said to her, give me leave to propose Mr. Spectator. You see found herself obliged to acquire some his inclinations and perhaps we may not have his plishments to make up for the want of those attractions which she saw in her sister. Poor Daphne was seldom submitted to in a debate wherein she was concerned; her discourse had nothing to recommend it but the good sense of it, and she was always under a necessity to have very well considered what she was to say before she uttered it; while Lætitia on the countenances of those she conversed with, before she communicated what she had to say. These causes have produced suitable effects, and Lætitia is as insipid a companion as Daphne is an agreeable one. Lætitia, confident of favour, has studied no tion towards her person, has depended only on her merit. Lætitia has always something in her air that is sullen, grave, and disconsolate. Daphne has a countenance that is cheerful, open, and unconcerned. A young gentleman saw Lætitia this winter at a play, and became her captive. His fortune was such, that he wanted very little introduction to speak his sentiments to her father. The lover was admitted with the utmost freedom into the family, where a constrained behaviour, severe looks, and distant civilities, were the highest favours he could obtain of Lætitia; while Daphne used him with the good humour, familiarity, and innocence of a sister: insomuch that he would often say to her, "Dear Daphne, wert thou but as handsome as Lætitia—” ceived such language with that ingenuousness and pleasing mirth which is natural to a woman without design. He still sighed in vain for Lætitia, but found certain relief in the agreeable conversation of Daphne. At length, heartily tired with the haughty impertinence of Lætitia, and charmed with the repeated instances of good humour he had observed in Daphne, he one day told the latter that he had some thing to say to her he hoped she would be pleased with "Faith, Daphne," continued he, “I am in love with thee, and despise thy sister sincerely." The manner of his declaring himself gave his mistress occasion for a very hearty laughter." Nay," says he, "I knew you would laugh at me, but I will ask your father." He did so; the father received this intelligence with no less joy than surprise, and was very glad he had now no care left but for his beauty, which he thought he could carry to market at his leisure. I do not know any thing that has pleased me so much for a great while, as this conquest of my friend Daphne's. All her acquaintance congratulate her upon her chance-medley, and laugh at that premeditating murderer her sister. As it is an argument of a light mind, to think the worse of ourselves for the imperfections of our person, it is equally below us to value ourselves upon the advantages of them. The female world seem to be almost incorrigibly gone astray in this particular; for which reason I shall recommend the following extract out of a friend's letter to the professed beauties, who are a people almost as insufferable as the professed wits.

"I found most of them (as is usual in all such cases) were prepared; but one of the seniors (whom, by-the-bye, Mr. President had taken all this pains to bring over) sat still, and cocking his chin, which seemed only to be levelled at his nose, very gravely declared, That in case he had had sufficient know-was listened to with partiality, and approbation sat ledge of you, no man should have been more willing to have served you; but that he, for his own part, had always had regard to his own conscience, as well as other people's merit; and that he did not know but that you might be a handsome fellow; for, as for your own certificate, it was every body's bu-arts to please; Daphne, despairing of any inclinasiness to speak for themselves.' Mr. President immediately retorted, A handsome fellow! why he is a wit, Sir, and you know the proverb;' and to case the old gentleman of his scruples cried, That for matter of merit it was all one, you might wear a mask.' This threw him into a pause, and he looked desirous of three days to consider on it; but Mr. President improved the thought, and followed him up with an old story, That wits were privileged to wear what masks they pleased in all ages; and that a vizard had been the constant crown of their labours, which was generally presented them by the hand of some satyr, and sometimes by Apollo himself:' for the truth of which he appealed to the frontispiece of several books, and particularly to the English Juve nal, to which he referred him; and only added, That such authors were the Larvati or Larva donati of the ancients.' This cleared up all, and in the conclusion you were chose probationer; and Mr. President put round your health as such, protesting, 'That though indeed he talked of a vizard, he did not believe all the while you had any more occasion for it than the cat-a-mountain;' so that all you have to do now is to pay your fees, which are here very reasonable, if you are not imposed upon; and you may style yourself Informis Societatis Socius: which I am desired to acquaint you with; and upon the same I beg you to accept of the congratulations of, "Sir, your obliged humble servant,

66

R.

Oxford, March 21.

"A. C."

No. 33.] SATURDAY, APRIL 7, 1711.

Fervidus tecum puer, et solutis
Gratis zonis, properentque nymphæ,
Et parum comis sine te juventus,

Mercuriusque.-HOR. I Od. xxx. 5.
The graces with their zones unloos'd;
The nymphs, with beauties all expos'd,
From every spring, and every plain;
Thy powerful, hot, and winged boy:
And youth, that's dull without thy joy;

And Mercury, compose thy train.-CREECH.

A FRIEND of mine has two daughters, whom I will call Lætitia and Daphne; the former is one of the greatest beauties of the age in which she lives, the latter no way remarkable for any charms in her person. Upon this one circumstance of their out ward form, the good and ill of their life seems to turn. Lætitia has not, from her very childhood, heard any thing else but commendations of her features and complexion, by which means she is no other than nature made her, a very beautiful outside. The consciousness of her charms has rendered her

She re

"Monsieur St. Evremond has concluded one of his essays with affirming, that the last sighs of a handsome woman are not so much for the loss of her life, as of her beauty. Perhaps this raillery is pursued too far, yet it is turned upon a very obvious remark, that woman's strongest passion is for her own beauty, and that she values it as her favourite distinction. From hence it is that all arts which pre

teud to improve or preserve it, meet with so general a reception among the sex. To say nothing of many false helps and contraband wares of beauty which are daily vended in this great mart, there is not a maiden gentlewoman of good family in any county of South Britain, who has not heard of the virtues of May-dew, or is unfurnished with some receipt or other in favour of her complexion; and I have known a physician of learning and sense, after eight years' study in the university, and a course of travels into most countries of Europe, owe the first raising of his fortunes to a cosmetic wash.

"This has given me occasion to consider how so universal a disposition in womankind, which springs from a laudable motive-the desire of pleasing-and proceeds upon an opinion not altogether groundlessthat nature may be helped by art-may be turned to their advantage. And, methinks, it would be an acceptable service to take them out of the hands of quacks and pretenders, and to prevent their imposing upon themselves, by discovering to them the true secret and art of improving beauty.

"In order to this, before I touch upon it directly, it will be necessary to lay down a few preliminary maxims, viz. :

"That no woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more than she can be witty only by the help of speech.

That pride destroys all symmetry and grace, and affectation is a more terrible enemy to fine faces than the small-pox.

"That no woman is capable of being beautiful, who is not incapable of being false.

"And, That what would be odious in a friend is deformity in a mistress.

pressions he felt upon seeing her at her first creation, he does not represent her like a Grecian Venus, by her shape or features, but by the lustre of her mind which shone in them, and gave them their power of charming :

Grace was in all her steps, heav'n in her eye, In all her gestures dignity and love! "Without this irradiating power, the proudest fair one ought to know, whatever her glass may tell her to the contrary, that her most perfect features are uninformed and dead.

"I cannot better close this moral than by a short epitaph written by Ben Jonson with a spirit which nothing could inspire but such an object as I have been describing :

[blocks in formation]

-parcit

Cognatis maculis similis fera Juv. Sat. xv. 159. From spotted skins the leopard does refrain.-TATE. THE club of which I am a member, is very luckily composed of such persons as are engaged in different ways of life, and deputed as it were out of the most conspicuous classes of mankind. By this means I am furnished with the greatest variety of hints and materials, and know every thing that passes in the different quarters and divisions, not only of this great city, but of the whole kingdom. My readers "From these few principles, thus laid down, it will too have the satisfaction to find that there is no rank be easy to prove, that the true art of assisting beauty or degree among them who have not their representconsists in embellishing the whole person by the ative in this club, and that there is always somebody proper ornaments of virtuous and commendable qua-present who will take care of their respective inlities. By this help alone it is, that those who are terests, that nothing may be written or published to the favourite work of nature, or, as Mr. Dryden ex- the prejudice or infringement of their just rights presses it, the porcelain clay of human kind, become and privileges. animated, and are in a capacity of exerting their | charms; and those who seem to have been neglected by her, like models wrought in haste, are capable in a great measure of finishing what she has left imperfect.

I last night sat very ate in company with this select body of friends, who entertained me with several remarks which they and others had made upon these my speculations, as also with the various suc cess which they had met with among their several ranks and degrees of readers. Will Honeycomb told me, in the softest manner he could, that there were some ladies (but for your comfort, says Will, they are not those of the most wit) that were offended at the liberties I had taken with the opera and the puppet-show; that some of them were likewise very much surprised, that I should think such serious points as the dress and equipage of persons of quality proper subjects for raillery.

"It is, methinks, a low and degrading idea of that sex, which was created to refine the joys and soften the cares of humanity by the most agreeable participation, to consider them merely as objects of sight. This is abridging them of their natural extent of power, to put them upon a level with their pictures at Kneller's. How much nobler is the contemplation of beauty heightened by virtue, and commanding our esteem and love while it draws our observation! How faint and spiritless are the He was going on, when Sir Andrew Freeport charms of a coquette, when compared with the real took him up short, and told him, that the papers he loveliness of Sophronia's innocence, piety, good-hinted at, had done great good in the city, and that humour, and truth; virtues which add a new softness to her sex, and even beautify her beauty! That agreeableness which must otherwise have appeared no longer in the modest virgin, is now preserved in the tender mother, the prudent friend, and the faithful wife. Colours artfully spread upon canvas may entertain the eye, but not affect the heart; and she who takes no care to add to the natural graces of her person any excellent qualities, may be allowed still to amuse, as a picture, but not to triumph as a beauty.

"When Adam is introduced by Milton, describing Eve in Paradise, and relating to the angel the im

all their wives and daughters were the better for them; and farther added, that the whole city thought themselves very much obliged to me for declaring my generous intentions to scourge vice and folly as they appear in a multitude, without condescending to be a publisher of particular intrigues and cuckoldoms. "In short," says Sir Andrew, "if you avoid that foolish beaten road of falling upon aldermen and citizens, and employ your pen upon the vanity and luxury of courts, your paper must needs be of general use."

Upon this, my friend the Templar told Sir Andrew, that he wondered to hear a man of his sense

talk after that manner; that the city had always been the province for satire; and that the wits of king Charles's time jested upon nothing else during his whole reign. He then shewed, by the examples of Horace, Juvenal, Boileau, and the best writers of every age, that the follies of the stage and court had never been accounted too sacred for ridicule, how great soever the persons might be that patronised them. "But after all," says he, "I think your raillery has made too great an excursion, in attack-a ing several persons of the inns of court; and I do not believe you can shew me any precedent for your behaviour in that particular."

My good friend Sir Roger de Coverley, who had said nothing all this while, began his speech with a pish! and told us, that he wondered to see so many men of sense so very serious upon fooleries. "Let our good friend," says he, "attack every one that deserves it; I would only advise you, Mr. Spectator," applying himself to me, to take care how you meddle with country 'squires. They are the ornaments of the English nation; men of good heads and sound bodies! and, let me tell you, some of them take it ill of you, that you mention fox-hunters with so little respect."

[ocr errors]

Captain Sentry spoke very sparingly on this oc casion. What he said was only to commend my prudence in not touching upon the army, and advised me to continue to act discreetly in that point. By this time I found every subject of my speculations was taken away from me, by one or other of the club: and began to think myself in the condition of the good man that had one wife who took a dislike to his grey hair, and another to his black, till by their picking out what each of them had an aversion to, they left his head altogether bald and naked.

tinued to combat with criminals in a body, and to assault the vice without hurting the person.

This debate, which was held for the good of mankind, put me in mind of that which the Roman triumvirate were formerly engaged in for their destruction. Every man at first stood hard for his friend, till they found that by this means they should spoil their proscription; and at length, making a sacrifice of all their acquaintance and relations, furnished out very decent execution.

Having thus taken my resolutions to march on boldly in the cause of virtue and good sense, and to annoy their adversaries in whatever degree or rank of men they may be found; I shall be deaf for the future to all the remonstances that shall be made to me on this account. If Punch grows extravagant, I shall reprimand him very freely. If the stage becomes a nursery of folly and impertinence, I shall not be afraid to animadvert upon it. In short, if I meet with any thing in city, court, or country, that shocks modesty or good manners, I shall use my utmost endeavours to make an example of it. I must, however, entreat every particular person, who does me the honour to be a reader of this paper, never to think himself, or any one of his friends or enemies, aimed at in what is said; for I promise him, never to draw a faulty character which does not fit at least a thousand people; or to publish a single paper, that is not written in the spirit of benevolence, and with a love of mankind.—Ĉ.

No. 35.] TUESDAY, APRIL 10, 1711.

Risu inepto res ineptior nulla est.-CATULL. CARM. 39. in Enat.

Nothing so foolish as the laugh of fools.

with diversions of this nature; and yet if we look into the productions of several writers, who set up for men of humour, what wild irregular fancies, what unnatural distortions of thought do we meet with? If they speak nonsense, they believe they are talking humour; and when they have drawn together a scheme of absurd, inconsistent ideas, they are not able to read it over to themselves without laughing. These poor gentlemen endeavour to gain themselves the reputation of wits and humorists, by such monstrous conceits as almost qualify them for Bedlam ; not considering that humour should always lie under the check of reason, and that it requires the direction of the nicest judgment, by so much the more as it indulges itself in the most boundless freedoms. There is a kind of nature that is to be observed in this sort of compositions, as well as in all other; and a certain regularity of thought which must discover the writer to be a man of sense, at the same time that he appears altogether given up to caprice. For my part, when I read the delirious mirth of an unskilful author, I cannot be so barbarous as to divert myself with it, but am rather apt to pity the man, than laugh at any thing he writes.

While I was thus musing with myself, my worthy AMONG all kinds of writing, there is none in which friend the clergyman, who, very luckily for me, was authors are more apt to miscarry than in works of at the club that night, undertook my cause. He humour, as there is none in which they are more amtold us, that he wondered any order of persons should bitious to excel. It is not an imagination that teems think themselves too considerable to be advised. with monsters, a head that is filled with extravagant That it was not quality, but innocence, which ex-conceptions, which is capable of furnishing the world empted men from reproof. That vice and folly ought to be attacked wherever they could be met with, and especially when they were placed in high and conspicuous stations of life. He farther added, that my paper would only serve to aggravate the pains of poverty, if it chiefly exposed those who are already depressed, and in some measure turned into ridicule, by the meanness of their conditions and circumstances. He afterward proceeded to take notice of the great use this paper might be of to the public, by reprehending those vices which are too trivial for the chastisement of the law, and too fantastical for the cognizance of the pulpit. He then advised me to prosecute my undertaking with cheerfulness, and assured me, that whoever might be displeased with me, I should be approved by all those whose praises do honour to the persons on whom they are bestowed. The whole club pay a particular deference to the discourse of this gentleman, and are drawn into what he ways as much by the candid ingenuous manner with which he delivers himself, as by the strength of argument and force of reason which he makes use of. Wi Honeycomb immediately agreed, that what he had said was right; and that, for his part, he would not insist upon the quarter which he had demanded for the ladies. Sir Andrew gave up the city with the same frankness. The Templar would not stand out, and was followed by Sir Roger and the Captain; who all agreed that I should be at liberty to carry the war into what quarter I pleased; provided I con

The deceased Mr. Shadwell, who had himself a great deal of the talent which I am treating of, represents an empty rake, in one of his plays, as very much surprised to hear one say, that breaking of windows was not humour; and I question not but several English readers will be as much startled to

bear me affirm, that many of those raving incohe. rent pieces which are often spread among us under odd chimerical titles, are rather the offsprings of a distempered brain, than works of humour.

False Humour differs from the True, as a monkey does from a man.

First of all, He is exceedingly given to little apish tricks and buffooneries.

Secondly, He so much delights in mimicry, that it is all one to him whether he exposes by it vice and folly, luxury and avarice; or, on the contrary, virtue and wisdom, pain and poverty.

Thirdly, He is wonderfully unlucky, insomuch that he will bite the hand that feeds him, and endeavour to ridicule both friends and foes indifferently. For having but small talents, he must be merry where he can, not where he should.

It is indeed much easier to describe what is not humour, than what is; and very difficult to define it otherwise than as Cowley has done wit, by negatives. Were I to give my own notions of it, I would deliver them after Plato's manner, in a kind of allegory-and by supposing Humour to be a person, deduce to him all his qualifications, according to the following genealogy. Truth was the founder of the family, and the father of Good Sense. Good Sense was the father of Wit, who married a lady of colla- Fourthly, Being entirely void of reason, he purteral line called Mirth, by whom he had issue Hu-sues no point either of morality or instruction, but is mour. Humour therefore being the youngest of this ludicrous only for the sake of being so. illustrious family, and descended from parents of Fifthly, Being incapable of any thing but mock such different dispositions, is very various and un-representations, his ridicule is always personal, and equal in his temper; sometimes you see him putting aimed at the vicious man or the writer-not at the on grave looks and a solemn habit, sometimes airy vice, or the writing. in his behaviour and fantastic in his dress; insomuch that at different times he appears as serious as a judge, and as jocular as a merry-andrew. But as he has a great deal of the mother in his constitution, whatever mood he is in, he never fails to make his company laugh.

But since there is an impostor abroad, who takes upon him the name of this young gentleman, and would willingly pass for him in the world; to the end that well-meaning persons may not be imposed upon by cheats, I would desire my readers, when they meet with this pretender, to look into his parentage, and to examine him strictly, whether or no he be remotely allied to Truth, and lineally descended from Good Sense; if not, they may conclude him a counterfeit. They may likewise distinguish him by a loud and excessive laughter, in which he seldom gets his company to join with him. For as True Humour generally looks serious, while every body laughs about him; False Humour is always laughing, whilst every body about him looks serious. I shall only add, if he has not in him a mixture of both parents, that is, if he would pass for the offspring of Wit without Mirth, or Mirth without Wit, you may conclude him to be altogether spurious and a cheat.

I have here only pointed at the whole species of false humorists; but as one of my principal designs in this paper is to beat down that malignant spirit which discovers itself in the writings of the present age, I shall not scruple, for the future, to single out any of the small wits that infest the world with such compositions as are ill-natured, immoral, and absurd. This is the only exception which I shall make to the general rule I have prescribed myself, of attacking multitudes, since every honest man ought to look upon himself as in a natural state of war with the libeller and lampooner, and to annoy them wherever they fall in his way. This is but retaliating upon them and treating them as they treat others.-C.

No. 36.] WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 1711.

Immania monstra

Perferimus. VIRG. En. iii. 583.
Things the most out of nature we endure.

I SHALL not put myself to any farther pains for this day's entertainment, than barely to publish the letters and titles of petitions from the playhouse, with the minutes I have made upon the latter for my

conduct in relation to them.

Drury-lane, April the 9th. "Upon reading the project which is set forth in one of your late papers, of making an alliance between all the bulls, bears, elephants, and lions which are separately exposed to public view in the cities of London and Westminster; together with the other wonders, shows, and monsters whereof you made respective mention in the said speculation-we, the chief actors of this playhouse, met and sat upon the said design. It is with great delight that we expect the

The impostor of whom I am speaking, descends criginally from Falsehood, who was the mother of Nonsense, who was brought to bed of a son called Frenzy, who married one of the daughters of Folly, commonly known by the name of Laughter, on whom he begot that monstrous infant of which I have here been speaking. I shall set down at length the genealogical table of False Humo ir, and, at the same time, place under it the genealogy of True Humour, that the reader may at one view behold their different pedigrees and re-execution of this work: and in order to contribute lations:

Falsehood.
Nonsense.

Frenzy Laughter.
False Humour.

Truth.
Good Sense.
Wit-Mirth.
Humour.

I might extend the allegory, by mentioning several of the children of False Humour, who are more in number than the sands of the sea, and might in particular enumerate the many sons and daughters which he has begot in this island. But as this would be a very invidious task, I shall only observe in general, that

to it, we have given warning to all our ghosts to get their livelihoods where they can, and not to appear among us after day-break of the 16th instant. We are resolved to take this opportunity to part with every thing which does not contribute to the repre sentation of human life; and shall make a free gift of all animated utensils to your projector. The hangings you formerly mentioned are run away; as are likewise a set of chairs, each of which was met upon two legs going through the Rose tavern at two this morning. We hope, Sir, you will give proper notice to the town that we are endeavouring at these regulations; and that we intend for the future to show no monsters, but men who are converted into such by their own industry and affectation. If you will please to be at the house to-night, you will see

« НазадПродовжити »