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Sir Tho. With infinite pleasure !
Bev. Then give me your niece; her hands So, sir; this is delicate treatment, after all I shall seal up my lips. have suffered !
Sir Tho. What Juliet? Willingly. But, are Sir Tho. Mr. Bever, I hope you don't--that you serious? Do you really admire the girl ? is
Bev. Beyond what words can express. It was Bev. Well, sir Thomas Lofty, what think you by her advice I consented to father your play. now of your Robinson Crusoe ? a pretty per- Sir Tho. What is Juliet apprized Here formance !
Robin, John, run and call my niece hither this Sir Tho. Think, Mr. Bever! I think the pub- moment. That giddy baggage will blab all in lic are blockheads! a tasteless, stupid, ignorant an instant. tribe ! and a man of genius deserves to be damn- Bev, You are mistaken; she is wiser tban ed, who writes any thing for them. But cou- you are aware of. rage, dear Dick ! the principals will give you what the people refuse; the closet will do you that
Enter JULIET. justice the stage has denied : Print your play. Bev. My play! zounds, sir, 'tis your own!
Sir Tho. Oh, Juliet, you know wbat has hapo Sir Tho. Speak lower, dear Dick! be mode-pened? rate, my good, dear lad!
Jul. I do, sir. · Beo. Oh, Sir Thomas, you may be easy enough;
Sir Tho. Have you revealed this unfortunate
secret? you are safe and secure, removed far from that precipice that has dashed me to pieces.
Jul. To no mortal, Sir Thomas. Sir Tho. Dear Dick, don't believe it will hurt
Sir Tho. Come give me your hand. Mr. Berer, you : the critics, the real judges, will discover in child, for my sake, bas renounced the stage, and that piece such excellent talents
the whole republic of letters ; in return, I owc Bed. No, sir Thomas, no ! I shall neither flat
him your band. ter you nor myself ; I have acquired a right to
Jul. My hand! what to a poet hooted, bissed, speak what I think.' Your play, sir, is a wretch- and exploded ! you must pardon me, sir, ed performance; and in this opinion, all man
Sir Tho. Juliet, a trifle ! the most they can kind are united.
say of him is, that he is a little wanting in wil; Sir Tho. May be not.
and he has so many brother writers to keep him Beo. If your piece had been greatly received,
in countenance, that, now-a-days, that is no reI would have declared sir Thomas Lofty the au
flection at all. thor; if coldly, I would have owned it myself;
Jul. Then, sir your engagement to Mr. Rust.
Sir Tho. I have found out the rascal : he has but such disgraceful, such contemptible treatment! I own the burden is too heavy for me ; all the rest put together; so that I am deter
been inore impertinently severe on my play than so sir, you must bear it yourself,
Sir Tho. Me, dear Dick! what to become ri- mined he shall be none of the man. diculous in the decline of my life; to destroy, in one hour, the fame that forty years has been
Enter Rust. building ! that was the prop, the support of my Rust. Are you so, sir? what then, am I to be age! Can you be cruel enough to desire it? sacrificed, in order to preserve the secret; that
Bev. Zounds, sir! and why must I be your you are a blockhead ? but you are out in your crutch? would you have me become a voluntary politics; before night it shall be known in all victim ? No, sir, this cause does not merit a mar- the coffee-houses in town. tyrdom.
Sir Tho. For Heaven's sake, Mr. Rust!Sir Tho. I own myself greatly obliged ; but Rust. And tomorrow I will paragraph you in persevere, dear Dick, persevere ! you have time every newspaper; you shall no longer impose on to recover your fame; I beg it, with tears in my the world : I will unmask you; the lion's skin eyes. Another play will
shall hide you no longer. Bev. No, sir Thomas ; I have done with the Sir Tho. Juliet ! Mr. Berer! what can I do? stage—the muses and I meet no more.
Beo. Sir Thomas, let me manage this matter. Sir Tho. Nay, there are various roads open in Harkye, old gentleman, a word in your ear? you life.
remember what you have in your pocket ? Beo. Not one where your piece won't pursue Rust. Hey! bow! what! me : Iflg go to the bar, the ghost ot' this cursed Ber. The curiosity what has cost you so much comedy will follow, and hunt me in Westmin- pains. ster-ball. Nay, when I die, it will stick to my Rust. What, my Æneas ! my precious relict memory, and I shall be handed down to poste- of Troy! rity with the author of Love in a Hollow Tree. Bed. You must give up that, or the lady.
Sir Tho. Then marry : you are a pretty smart Jul. How, Mr. Bever? figure, and your poetical talents —
Bed. Never fear; I am sure of my man, Ber. And what fair would admit of my suit, Rust. Let me consider--As to the girl, girls or family wish to receive me? make the case your are plenty enough ; I can marry when I will: own, Sir Thomas, would you?
But my paper, my phoenix, thắt springs fresh
from the flames, that can never be matched- Sir Tho. You oblige me for ever. Now the Take her.
secret dies with us four, My fault. I owe him Bed. And as you love your own secret, be much. careful of ours. Rust. I am dumb.
Be it your care to show it; Sir Tho. Now, Juliet.
And bless the man, though I have damned the Jul. You join me, sir, to an unfortunate bard; poet. but, to procure your peace
SCENE I.-Mrs. MECHILIN's House, Jen. Why, you knock with authority; and what
are your commands, Master Simon?' [Loud Knocking at the Door.] Sim. I come, madam, to receive those of your
mistress. What, Jenny, has she any great affair Enter JENNY.
on the anvil? Her summons is most exceedingly
pressing; and you need not be told, child, that a Jen. Rap, rap, rap! up stairs and down, from man of my consequence does not trouble himself morning to night!-if this same commissary stays about trifles. much longer amongst us, my inistress must e'en Jen. Oh, sir, I know very well you principal hire a porter. Who's there?
actors don't perforın every night. Sim.(Without.] Is Mrs. Mechlin at home?
Sim. Mighty well, ma'am! but, notwithstandJen. No. (Opens the Door.] Oh! what, it is ing your ironical speer, it is not every man that you, Simon
will do for your mistress; her agents must have Enter Simox.
genius and parts: I don't suppose, in the whole
bills of mortality, there is so general and extenSim. At your service, sweet Mrs. Jane. sive a dealer as my friend Mrs. Mechlin.
Jen. Why, to be sure, we have plenty of cus- Sim. That engrosser and seducer of virgins ? tomers, and for various kinds of commodities; it Jen. Keep it up, Master Simon. would be pretty difficult, I fancy, to
Sim. That forestaller of bagnios ? Sin. Commodities! Your huinble servant, Jen. Incomparably fine ! sweet Mrs. Jane; yes, yes, you have various kinds Sim. That canting, cozening, money-lending, of commodities, indeed.
match-making, pawnbroking Jen. Mr. Simon, I don't understand you; I
[Loud knocking. suppose it is no secret in what sort of goods our Jen. Mighty well, sir! here comes my misdealing consists?
tress; she shall thank you for the pretty picture Som. No, no; they are pretty well known. you have been pleased to draw. Jen. And, to be sure, though now and then, to Sim. Nay, but, dear Jennyoblige a customer, my inistress does condescend Jen. She shall be told how lightly she stands 10 smugule a little
in your favour. Sim. Keep it up, Mrs. Jane!
Sim. But, my sweet girl [Knock again. Jen. Yet there are no people in the liberty of Jen. Let me go, Mr. Simon ? don't you hear? Westminster, that live in more credit than we Sim. And can you have the heart to ruin me do.
at once? Sim. Bravo!
Jen. Hands off! Jen. The very best of quality are not ashamed Sim. A peace, a peace, my dear Mrs. Jane, to visit my mistress.
and dictate the articles. Sim. They have reason. Jen. Respected by the neighbours,
Enter Mrs. Mechlin, followed by a HackneySim. I know it.
Couchman, with several bundles, in a capuJen. Punctual in her payments.
chin, a bonnet, and her clouths pinned up. Sim. To a moment. Jen. Regular hours.
AIrs. Mech. So, hussy! what, must I stay all Sim. Doubtless.
day in the streets? Who bave we here? The deJen. Never miss the sarmant on Sundays. vil's in the wenches, I think !-One of your fela Sim. I own it.
lows, I supposem-Oh, is it you? How fares it, Jen. Not an oath comes out of her mouth, Simon? unless now and then, when the poor gentlewo- Jen. Madam, you should not have waited a man happens to be overtaken in liquor. minute ; but Mr. SimonSim. Granted.
Sim. Hush, hush! you barbarous jade-Jen. Not at all given to lying, but, like other Jen. Knowing your knock, and eager to open tradesfolks, in the way of her business. the door, few up stairs, fell over the landingSim. Very well.
place, and quite barred up the way. Jen. Very well! then pray, sir, what would Sim. Yes; and I am afraid I have put out my you insinuate? Look you, Mr. Simon, don't go to ancle. Thanks, Jenny; you shall be no loser, cast reflections upon us; don't think to blast the you slut.
[Aside. reputation of our
Mrs. Mech. Poor Simon! Oh, Lord have Sim. Hark ye, Jenny, are you
serious? mercy upon me, what a round have I taken? Jen. Serious ! Ay, marry am I.
Is the wench petrified? Why don't you reach me Sim. The devil you are !
a chair? don't you see I am tired to death? Jen. Upon my word, Mr. Simon, you should Jen. Indeed, madam, you'll hill yourself. not give your tongue such a licence; let me tell Sim. Upon my word, Madam Mechlin, you you, these airs do not become you at all. should take a little care of yourself; indeed you
Sim. Hey-day! why, where the deuce have. I labour too hard. got? Sure, I have mistaken the bouse; is not Mrs. Mech. Ay, Simon, and for little or nothis Mrs. Mechlin's?
thing: only victuals and clothes : more cost than Jen. That's pretty well known.
Why does not the wench take the Sim. The commodious, convenient Mrs. Mech- things from the fellow ?
-Well, what's your lin, at the sign of the Star, in the parish of St. fare? Paul's?
Coach. Mistress, 'tis honestly worth half-a Jen. Bravo! Sim. That commercial caterpillar ?
Mrs. Mech. Give him a couple of shillings, Jen. I know it.
and send him away. Sim. That murderer of manufacturers ?
Coach. I hope you'll tip me the tester to Jen. Doubtless.
drink! Sim. That walking warehouse ?
Mrs. Mech. Them there fellows are never Jen. Granted.
contented : Drink! Stand farther off! why, you Sim. That carries about a greater cargo of smell already as strong as a beer-barrel. contraband goods under her petticoats than a Coach. Mistress, that's because I have already Calais cutter?
been drinking Jen. Very well.
Mrs. Mech. And are you not ashamed, you
sot, to be eternally guzzling? You had better party has interest enough to obtain it, whenever buy you some some cloaths.
he will. And then the bridegroom may put the Coach. No, mistress; my honour won't let purchase-money too of that same presentation me do that.
into his pocket. Mrs. Mech. Your honour! And pray bow Jen. Truly, madam, I should think this would does that hinder you?
prove the best match for the lady, Coach. Why, when a good gentlewounan like Mrs. Mech. Who doubts it?
-Here, Jenny, you, cries, Here, coachman, here's something to carry these things above stairs. Take care of drink
the eigrette, leave the watch upon the table, and Mrs. Mech. Well !
be sure you don't mislay the pearl necklace : the Coach. Would it be honour in me to lay it lady goes to Mrs. Corneley's to-night; and, if out in any thing else? No, mistress, my con- she has any luck, she will be sure to redeem it science won't let me; because why, 'tis the will co-morrow. of the donor you know.
Sim. What a world of affairs ! it is a wonder, Mrs. Mech. Did you ever hear such a block- madam, how you are able to remember them head!
all. Coach. No, no, mistress; though I am a poor Mrs. Mech. Trifles, mere trifles, Master Siman, I won't forfeit my honour; my cattle, thof mon—But I have a great affair in hand-such I love tijem, poor beastesses, are not more dearer an affair, it well managed, will be the making of to me than that.
Mrs. Mech. Yes, you and your horses give Sim. If I, madam, can be of the least use pretty strong proofs of your honour; for you Mrs. Mech. Of the highest ! there's no doing have no cloaths on your back, and they have no without you-You know the greatflesh. Well, Jenny, give him the sixpenceThere, there lay it out as you will.
Enter Jenny. Coach. It will be to your health, mistress; it shall melt at the Meuse before I go home; I
Jen. I have put the things where you ordered
madam. shall be careful to clear my conscience.
Mrs. iseck. Very well, you may go. [Exit Mrs. Mech. I don't doubt it.
Jenny.] I say, you know the great commissary Coach. You need not; Mistress, your servant.
that is come to lodge in my house? Now, they Mrs Mech. Has there been any body here, say this Mr. Fungus is as rich as an Indian Jenny?
governor; heaven knows how he came by it; Jen. The gentleman, madam, about the Glou- but that, you know, is no business of ours: cestershire living.
Pretty pickings, I warrant abroad. [Loud Mrs. Mech. He was! Oh, oh! what, I sup-let it be who it will, you must not go till I speak
knocking.) who the devce can that be? But pose his stomach's come down. Does he like
to you. ihe encumbrance? will be marry the party? Jen. Why, that article seems to go a little
Enter Jenny. against him. Mrs. Mech. Does it so? then let him retire
Jen. The widow Loveit, madam.
Mrs. Mech. What, the old liquorish dowager, to his Cumberland curacy; that's a fine keen air; it will soon give him an appetite. He'll stick | from Devonshire Square? Show her in. (Esi! to his honour too, till his cassock is wore
JENNY.] You'll wait in the kitchen, Simon; I
shall suon dispatch hier affair. [Erit Sinon. rag
Jen. Why, indeed, madam, it seems pretty rusty already
Enter Mrs. Loveit. Mrs. Mech. Devilish squeamish, I think; a Mrs. Love. So, so, good morning to you, good good fat living, and a fine woman into the bar. Mrs. Mechlin ! John, let the coach wait at the gain! You told him a friend of the lady's will corner. take the child off her hands
Mrs. Mech. You had better sit here, maJen, Yes, mndamn.
dam. Mrs. Méch. So that the affair will be a se- Mrs. Love. Any where. Well, my dear wocret to all but himself. But he must quickly man, I hope, you have not forgot your old friend resolve; for, next week, his wife's month will -Ugh, ugh, ugh.-(Coughs.] Consider I have
no time to lose, and you are always so full of Jen. He promised to call about four. employment.
Mrs. Mech. But don't let him think we are Mrs. Mech. Forgot you! you shall judge, Mrs. at a loss for a husband; there is, to my know- Loveit. I bave, madam, provided a whole cargo ledge, a merchant's clerk in the city, a comely of husbands for you, of all nations, complexions, young man, and comes of good friends, that will ages, tempers, and sizes: so, you see, you have take her with but a small place in the custom- nothing to do but choose. house.
Mrs. Love. To choose, Mrs. Mechlin ! Lord Jen. He shall know it.
belp me! what choice can I have? I look upon Mrs. Mech. Ay, and tell him that the party's | wedlock to be a kind of a lottery, and I have