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SCENE I.-A room at Sir W. Wealthy's. with fawning and flattery ; Italy equipped him
with capriols and cantatas; and thus accomEnter Sir William Wealthy, and Mr.
plished, my young gentleman is returned with a RICHARD WEALTHY.
cargo of whores, cooks, valets de chambre, and Sir Wil, Come, come, brother; I know the fiddle-sticks, a inost valuable member of the world. People, who have their attention cter- British commonwealth. nally fixed upon one object, can't help being a Sir Wil. You dislike, then, my system of edulittle narrow in their notions.
cation ? R. Weal. A sagacious remark that! and R. Weal. Nost sincerely, bighly probable, that we merchants, who main- Sir Wil. The whole? tain a constant correspondence with the four R. Weal. Every particular. quarters of the world, should know less of it Sir Wil. The early part, I should imagine, than your fashionable fellows, whose whole ex- might merit your approbation? perience is bounded by Westminster-bridge. Ř. Weal. 'Least of all. What, I suppose, be
Sir Wil. Nay, brother, as a proof that I am cause he has run the gauntlet through a public not blind to the benefit of travelling, George, school, where, at sixteen, he had practised more you know, has been in Germany these four vices than he would otherwise bave beard of at years.
sixty! R. Weal. Where he is well grounded in ga- Sir Wil. Ha, ha, prejudice ! ming and gluttony; France has furnished him R. Wil. Then, indeed, you removed him to
the university; where, lest his morals should be, R. Wil. Look'ye, broker, you know my mind, mended, and his understanding improved, you I will be absolute. If I meddle with the mafairly set him free from the restraint of the one, nagement of your son, it is at your own request; and the drudgery of the other, by the privileged but if, directly or indirectly, you interfere with distinction of a silk gown and a velvet cap. my banishment of that wilful, headstrong, dis
Sir Wil. And all these evils, you think, a city obedient hiussy, all ties between us are broke; education would have prevented ?
and I shall no more remember you as a brother, R. Weal. Doubtless. Proverbs, proverbs, than I do her as a child. brother William, convey wholesome instruction. Sir Wil. I have done. But to return. You Idleness is the root of all evil. Regular hours, think there is probability in constant employment, and good example, can't
R. Weal. I shall attend the issue. fail to form the mind.
Sir Wil. You will lend your aid, however? Sir Wil. Why, truly, brother, had you stuck R. IVeal. We shall see how you go on. to your old civic rices, bypocrisy, cozenage, and avarice, I don't know whether I might not have
Enter Servant. committed George to your care; but you cock- Ser. A letter, sir. neys now beat us suhurbians at our own wea- Sir Wil. Oh, from Capias, my attorney? Who pons. What, old boy! times are changed since brought it? the date of thy indenture; wben the sleek, crop- Ser. The person is without, sir. eared 'prentice used to dangle after bis mistress, Sir Wil. Bid him wait. [Erit Servant, with the great bible under his arm, lo St. Bride's on a Sunday ; bring home the text, repeat the
[Reads. divisions of the discourse, dine at twelve, and re
« Worthy SIR, gale, upon a gaudy day, with buns and beer at · The bearer is the person I promised to proIslington or Mile-eod.
I thought it was proper for you to eroR. Weal. Wonderfully facetious !
mine him viva voce. So if you administer a few Sir Wil. Our modern lads are of a different interrogatories, you will find, by cross-questionmetal. They have their gaming clubs in the gar-ing him, whether he is a competent person to den, their little lodgings, the snug depositaries of prosecute the cause you wot of. I wish you a their rusty swords and occasional bag-wigs; speedy issue ; and as there can be no defuult in their horses for the turf; aye, and their com- your judgment, am of opinion it should be carmissions of bankruptcy too, before they are well ried into immediate erecution. out of their time.
Worthy Sir, &c. R. Weal. Infamous aspersion !
TIMOTHY CAPIAS.' Sir Wil. But the last meeting at Newmarket, Lord Lofty received at the hazard-table, the • P. S. The party's name is Samuel Shift. He identical note from the individual tailor to whom is an admirable mime, or minic, and most delec, he had paid it but the day before for a new set table company; as we experience every Tuese of liveries.
day night at our club, the Magpye und HorseR. Weal. Invention!
shoe, Fetter-lane.' Sir Wil. These are anecdotes you will never Very methodical indeed, Mr. Capias?—John, meet with in your weekly travels from Cateaton
Enter Servant. street to your boarded box in Clapham, brother.
R. Weal. And yet that boarded box, as your Bid the person who brought this letter walk in. prodigal spendthrift proceeds, will soon be the [Exit Serdant.] Have you any curiosity, broonly seat of the family.
ther? Sir Wil. May be not. Who knows what a re- R. Weal. Not a jot. I must to the 'Change. formation our project may produce?
In the evening you may find me in the countingR. Weal. I do. None at all.
house, or at Jonathan's. [Erit R. WEALTHY. Sir Wil. Why so?
Sir Wil. You shall hear from me. R. Weal. Because your means are ill-proportioned to their end. Were he my son, I would
Enter SHIFT and Serrant. serve him
Shut the door, John, and remember I am not at Sir Wil. As you have done your daughter. home. [Erit Servant.] You came from Mr. Discard him. But consider, I have but one. Capias?
R. Weal. That would weigh nothing with me: Shift. I did, sir. for, was Charlotte to set up a will of her own, Sir Wil. Your name, I think, is Shift? and reject the man of my choice, she must ex- Shift. It is, sir. pect to share the fate of her sister. I consider Sir Wil. Did Mr. Capias drop any hint of my families as a smaller kind of kingdoms, and business with you ? would have disobedience in the one as severely Shift. None. He only said, with his spectapunished as rebellion in the other. Both cut off cles on his nose, and his hand upon his chin, Sir from their respective societies.
William Wealthy is a respectable personage, and Sir Wil. Poor Lucy! But surely you begin to my client: he wants to retain you in a certain relent. May not I intercede?
affair, and will open the case, and give you your
brief himself: if you adhere to his instructions, But, lack-a-day, sir, that time I saw as seldom and carry your cause, he is generous, and will as his tradesmen. discharge your bill without taxation.
Sir Wil. Very well. Sir Wil. Ha, ha? my friend Capias to a hair ! Shift. To these accomplishments from with-Well, sir, this is no bad specimen of your out the theatre, I must add one that I obtained abilities. But see that the door is fast. Now, within. sir, you are to
Sir Wil. How did you gain admittance there? Shift. A moment's pause, if you please. You Shift. My merit, sir, tbat, like my link, threw must know, Sir William, I am a prodigious ad- a radiance 'round me. A detachment from the mirer of forms. Now, Nr. Capias tells
me, that head-quarters herc took possession, in the sumit is always the rule to administer a retaining fee mer, of a country corporation, where I did the before you enter upon the inerits.
honours of the barn, by sweeping the stage Sir Wil. Oh, sir. I beg your pardon ! and clipping the candles. There my skill and
Shift. Not that I questioned your generosi- address were so conspicuous, that it procured ty; but forms, you know
me the same office, the ensuing wiuter, at Drury, Sir Wil. No apology, I beg.. But as we are lane, where I acquired intrepidity, the crown of to have a closer connexion, it may not be all my virtues. amiss, by way of introduction, to understand Sir Wil. How did you obtain that? one another a little. Pray, sir, where was you Shift. By my post. For, I think, sir, he that born?
dares stand the shot of the gallery, in lighting, Shift. At my father's.
snuffing, and sweeping, the first night of a new Sir Wil. Hum!-and what was he? play, may bid defiance to the pillory, with all its Shift. A gentleman.
customary compliments. Sir Wil. What was you bred ?
Sir Wil. Some truth in that. Shift. A gentleman.
Shift. But an unlucky crab-apple, applied to Sir Wil. How do you live?
my right eye by a patriot gingerbread-baker from Shift. Like a gentleman.
the Borough, who would not sutier three dancers Sir Wil. Could nothing induce you to un- from Switzerland because he hated the French, bosom yourself.
forced me to a precipitate retreat. Shift. Look’ye, Sir William, there is a kind of Sir Wil. Poor devil! something in your countenance, a certain Shift. Broglio and Contades have done the openness and generosity, a je ne scai in your same. But as it happened, like a tennis-ball, ! manner, that I will unlock :--You shall sec my rose higher from the rebound. all.
Sir Wil. How so? Sir Wil. You will oblige me.
Shift. My misfortune, sir, moved the compasShift. You must know, then, that fortune, sion of one of our performers, a whimsical man; which frequently delights to raise the noblest he took me into his service. To him I owe, structures from the simplest foundations; who what, I believe, will make me useful to you. from a tailor made a pope, from a gin-shop an Sir Wil. Explain. empress, and many a prime minister from no- Shift. Why, sir, my master was remarkable thing at all, has thought fit to raise me to my happy in an art, which, however disesteemed present height, from the humble employment of at present, is, by Tully, reckoned amongst the -Light your Honour-A link boy.
perfections of an orator; miinickry. Sir Wil. A pleasant fellow! Who were your Sir Wil. Why, you are deeply read, Mr. parents ?
Shift ! Shift. I was produced, sir, by a left-handed Shift. A smattering--but as I was saying, sir, marriage; in the language of the news-papers, nothing came amiss to my master: Bipeds or between an illustrious lamp-lighter and an iti- quadrupeds; rationals or animals; from the nerant cat and dog butcher. Cat's meat and clamour of the bar to the cackle of the barndog's meat. I dare stay, you have heard my door; from the soporific twang of the tabernacle mother, sir. But as to this happy pair I owe of Tottenham-court to the melodious bray of little besides my being, I shall drop them where their long-eared brethren in Bunhill-fields; all they dropped ine-in the street.
were objects of his imitation and my attention. Šir Wil. Proceed.
In a word, sir, for two whole years, under this Shift. My first knowledge of the world I owe professor, I studied and starved, in poverished to a school, which has produced many a great my body, and pampered iny mind; tili, thinking man-the avenues of the play-house. There, myself pretty near equal to my master, I made sir, leaning on my extinguished link, I learned him one of his own bows, and set up for mydexterity from pick-pockets, connivance from self. constables, politics and tashions from footmen, Sir Wil. You have been successful, I hope? and the art of making and breaking a promise Shift. Pretty well. I cannot complain. My from their masters. Here, sirral, light me across art, sir, is a pusse-par-tout. I seldom want emthe kennel. I hope your honour will remember ployment. Let's see how stand my engagements. poor Jack. You ragued rascal, I have no half- (Pulls out a pocket-book.] Hum-hum-Oh! pence-I'll pay you the next time I see you.- / Wednesday at Mrs. Gammut's ncar Itanover. square. There, there, I shall make a meal upon turn, I have, in a feigned character, associated the Mingotti: for her ladyship is in the opera myself with a set of rascals, who will spread interest; but however I shall revenge her cause every bait that can flatter folly, inflame extraupon ber rival Mattei. Sunday evening at Lady vagance, allure inexperience, or catch credulity. Sostenuto's concert. Thursday I dine upon the And when, by their means, he thinks himself reactors, with ten Templars, ai thie Mitre, in Fleet- duced to the last extremity, lost even to the street. Friday I am to give the amorous parley most distant hopeof two intriguing cats in a gutter, with the dis- Shift. What ihen? turbing of a hen-roost, at Mr. Deputy Sugarsop's, Sir Wil. Then, will I step in, like his guarnear the Monument. So, sir, you see my hands dian angel, and snatch him from perdition. If, are full. In short, Sir Williain, there is not a mortified by misery, he becoines conscious of buck or a turtle devoured within the bills of his errors, I have saved my con; but if, on the mortality, but there I may, if I please, stick a other hand, gratitude can't bind, nor ruin renapkin under my chin.
claim him, I will cast him out, as an alien to my Sir Wil. I'ın afraid, Mr. Shift, I must break blood, and trust for the support of my name and in a little upon your engagements; but you fainily to a remoter branch, shall be no loser by the bargain.
Shift. Bravely resolved! But what part am I Shift. Command me.
to sustain in this drama? Sir Wil. You can be secret as well as service- Sir Wil. Why, George, you are to know, is alable?
ready stript of what money he could command Shift. Mute as a mackarel.
by two sharpers : but as I never trust them out Sir Wil. Come hither, then. If you betray me of my sight, they can't deceive me. to my son
Shift. Out of your sight! Shift. Scalp me.
Sir Wil. Why, I tell thee, I am one of the Sir Wil, Enough,-You must know, then, the knot: an adept in their science; can slip, shufhopes of our family are, Mr. Shift, centered in Ae, cog, or cut with the best of them. one boy.
Shift. How do you escape your sou's notice? Shift. And I warrant lie is a hopeful one. Sir Wil. His firin persuasion of iny death, with
Sir Wil. No interruption, I beg. George has the extravagance of my disguise. Why, I would been abroad these four years; and, from his late engage to elude your penetration, when I am behaviour, I have reason to believe, that, had a beaued out for the baron. But of that by and by. certain event happened, which I'm afraid he He has recourse, after his ill success, to the ten wished—my death
per cent. gentry, the usurers, for a farther supply. Shift. Yes; that's natural enough.
Shift. Natural enough. Sir Wil. Nay, pray,--there would soon be an Sir Wil. Pray, do you know, I forgot his name, end to an ancient and bonourable family. a wrinkled old fellow, in a thread-bare coat ?
Shift. Very melancholy, indeed. Bút fami- He sits every morning, from twelve till two, in lies, like besoins, will wear to the stumps, and the left corner of Lloyd's cofee-house; and finally fret out, as you say.
every evening, from five till eight, under the Sir Wil. Prythee, peace for five minutes ! clock, at the Temple Exchange. Shift. I am tongue-ty'd.
Shift. What, liitle Transfer the broker? Sir Wil. Now I have projected a scheme to
Sir Wil. The same.
Do you know him? prevent this calamity.
Shift. Know him! Aye, rot him! It was but Shift. Ay, I should be glad to hear that. last Éaster Tuesday he had me turned out, at a Sir Wil. I am going to tell it you.
feast in Leather-seller's-hall, for singing Room Shift Proceed.
for cuckolds, like a parrot; and vowed it meant Sir Wil. George, as I have contrived it, shall a reflection upon the whole body corporate. experience all the miseries of real ruin, without Sir Wil. You have reason to remember him. running the least risk.
Shift. Yes, yes, I recommended a minor to Shift. Ay, that will be a coup de maitre. him myself, for the loan only of fifty pounds;
Sir Wil. I have prevailed upon his uncle, a and, would you believe it, as I hope to be saved, wealthy citizen
we dined, supped, and wetted five-and-thirty Shifi. I don't like a city plot.
guineas upon tick, in meetings at the Cross Sir Wil. I tell thee it is my own.
Keys, in order to settle the terms; and, after all, Shift. I beg pardon.
the scoundrel would not lend us a stiver. Sir Wil. My brother, I say, some time since Sir Wil. Could you personate him? wrote him a circumstantial account of my death; Shift. Him! Oli, you shall see me shift into upon which he is returned, in full expectation of bis shamble in a minute, and with a withered succeeding to my estate.
face, a bit of a purple nose, a cautionary stamShift. Immediately.
mer, and a sleek silver head, I would undertake Sir Wil. No; when at age. In about three to deceive even his banker. But to speak the months.
truth, I have a friend that can do this inimitably Shift. I understand you.
well. Have not you something of more conseSir Wil. Now, sir, guessing into wbat hands quence for me? my heedless boy would naturally tall on his re- Sir Wil. I have. Could not you master
Shift, assume another shape? You have attend- | stirring. They could as soon raise the dead as ed auctions?
two pouods two. Nick me, but I have a great Shift. Auctions! a constant puff. Deep in mind to tie up, and ruin the rascals. What, has the mystery; a professed connoisseur, fronu a Transter been here this morning? Niger, to a Nautilus; from the Apollo Belvidere to a butterfly.
Enter Dick. Sir Wil. One of these insinuating oily orators Sir Geo, Any body bere this morning, Dick? I will get you to personate; for we must have Dick. Nobody, your honour. the plate and jewels in our possession, or they Loud. Repique the rascal! He promised to will soon fall into other hands.
be liere before me. Shift. I will do it.
Dick. I beg your honour's pardon. Mrs. Cole Sir Wil. Witbin I'll give you farther instruco from the Piazza was here between seven and tions.
eight. Shift. I'll follow you.
Sir Geo. An early hour for a lady of her calling. Sir Wil. [Going, returns.) You will want ma- Dick. Mercy on me! the poor gentlewoman is terials.
mortally altered since we used to lodge there, in Shift. Oh, my dress I can be furnished with in our jaunts from Oxford; wrept up in Aannels; five minutes. [Erit Sir William.jA whimsical all over the rheumatiss. old blade this! I shall laugh if this scheine mis- Load. Ay, ay, old Moll is at her last stake. carries. I have a strange mind to lend it a lift: Dick. She bid we say, she just stopt in her never had a greater. Pho, a damned unnatural way to the Tabernacle; after the exhortation, connexion this of mine! What have I to do she says she'll call again. with fathers and guardians! a parcel of preach- Sir Geo. Exhortation ! Oh, I recollect. Well, ing, prudent, careful, curmudgeonly_dead to whilst they only make proselytes from that propleasures themselves, and the blasters of it in fession, they are heartily welcome to them. She otbers. Mere dogs in a manger- -No, no; does not mean to make me a convert? I'll veer, tack about, open my budget to the boy, Dick. I believe she has some such design upjoin in a counter-plot. But, hold, hold, hold, on me; for she offered me a book of hymns, a friend Stephen ! see, first, bow the land lies.- shilling, and a drain to go along with her. Who knows whether this Germanized genius bas Sir Geo. No bad scheme, Dick. Thou hast a parts to comprehend, or spirit to reward, thy fine, sober, psalm-singing countenance and merit. There's danger in that; ay, marry is when thou hast been some time in their tramthere. Egad, before I shift the helm, I'll first mels, may'st make as able a teacher as the best examine the coast; and, then, if there be but a of them. bold shore and a good bottom-have a care, old Dick. Laud, sir, I want learning! Square Toes, you will meet with your match. Sir Geo. Oh, the spirit, the spirit, will supply
[Erit. all that, Dick; never fear. Enter Sir GEORGE, LOADER, and Servant. Enter Sir William, as a German baron.
Sir Geo. Let the martin pannels for the vis-a- My dear baron, what news from the Haymarvis be carried to Long-acre, and the pye-balls ket? What says the Florenza? Does she yield? sent to Hall's to be bitted. You will give me Shall I be happy? Say yes, and command my leave to be in your debt till the evening, Mr. fortune. Loader... I have just enough to discharge the Sir Wil. I was never did see so fine a woman baron ; and we must, you know, be punctual since I was leave Hainburgh; dere was all de with him, for the credit of the country.
colour, all red and white, dat was quite natuLoad. Fire him, a snub-nosed son of a bitch! ral; point d'artifice. Then she was dance and Levant me, but he got enough last night to pur-sing- -I vow to Heaven, I was never see de chase a principality amongst his countrymen, the like! Highdutchians and Hussarians.
Sir Geo. But how did she receive my embasSir Geo. You had your share, Mr. Loader? sy? What hopes ? • Load. Who I? Lurch me at four, but I was Sir Wil. Why dere was, Monsieur le Cheramarked to the top of your trick by the laron, my lier, when I first enter, dree or four damped dear. What, I am no cinque and quatre man. queer people ; ah, ah, dought I by Gad, I guess Come, shall we have a dip in the history of the your business! Dere was one fat big womans, Four Kings this morning?
dat I know long time: le valet de chambre was Sir Geo. Rather too early. Besides, it is the tell me that she came from a grand merchand; rule abroad, never to engage afresh till our old ha, ha, dought I, by your leave, stick to your scores are discharged.
shop; or if you must have de pretty girl, dere is Load. Capot me, but those lads abroad are de play-hous, dat do very well for you ; but for pretty fellows, let them say what they will. Here, de opera, pardonnez, by Gar, dat is meat for i sir, they will vowel you, from father to son, to your master.
the twentieth generation. They would as soon Sir Geo, Insolent mechanic! But she despised *Abw-a-days pay.a tradesman's bill as a play- him? debt. All sease of honour is gone; not a stiver Sir Wil. Ah, ma foy, he is damned rich, has