Mr. H. Lard! Landlord. Suppose they do smoke you- Landlord. One of my phrases; never mind my words, Sir, my meaning is good. We all mean the same thing, only you express yourself one way, and I another, that's all. The meaning's the same; it is all pork. Mr. H. That's another of your phrases, I pre(Bell rings, and the Landlord called for.) sume. Landlord. Anon, anon. Mr. H. O, I wish I were anonymous. [Exeunt several ways. SCENE.-Melesinda's Apartment. MELESINDA and Maid. Maid. Lord, Madam! before I'd take on as you do about a foolish—what signifies a name? Hogs-Hogs-what is it-is just as good as any other for what I see. Melesinda. Ignorant creature! yet she is perhaps blest in the absence of those ideas, which, while they add a zest to the few pleasures which fall to the lot of superior natures to enjoy, doubly edge the Maid. Superior natures! a fig! If he's hog by name, he's not hog by nature, that don't follow-his name don't make him any thing, does it? He don't grunt the more for it, nor squeak, that ever I hear; he likes his victuals out of a plate, as other Christians do, you never see him go to the trough Melesinda. Unfeeling wretch! yet possibly her intentions Maid. For instance, Madam, my name is Finch -Betty Finch. I don't whistle the more for that, nor long after canary-seed while I can get good wholesome mutton-no, nor you can't catch me by throwing salt on my tail. If you come to that, hadn't I a young man used to come after me, they said courted me—his name was Lion— Francis Lion, a tailor; but though he was fond enough of me, for all that, he never offered to eat me. Melesinda. How fortunate that the discovery has been made before it was too late. Had I listened to his deceits, and, as the perfidious man had almost persuaded me, precipitated myself into an inextricable engagement, before— Maid. No great harm, if you had. You'd only have bought a pig in a poke-and what then? Oh, here he comes creeping— Enter MR. H. abject. Go to her, Mr. Hogs-Hogs-Hogsbristleswhat's your name? Don't be afraid, man-don't give it up-she's not crying-only summat has made her eyes red-she has got a sty in her eye, I believe-(going.) Melesinda. You are not going, Betty? Maid. O, Madam, never mind me-I shall be back in the twinkling of a pig's whisker, as they say. [Exit. Mr. H. Melesinda, you behold before you a wretch who would have betrayed your confidence, but it was love that prompted him; who would have tricked you by an unworthy concealment into a participation of that disgrace which a superficial world has agreed to attach to a name-but with it you would have shared a fortune not contemptible, and a heart-but 'tis over now. That name he is content to bear alone to go where the persecuted syllables shall be no more heard, or excite no meaning-some spot where his native tongue has never penetrated, nor any of his countrymen have landed, to plant their unfeeling satire, their brutal wit, and national ill manners-where no Englishman-(Here Melesinda, who has been pouting during this speech, fetches a deep sigh.) Some yet undiscovered Otaheite, where witless, unapprehensive savages shall innocently pronounce the ill-fated sounds, and think them not inharmonious. Melesinda. Oh! Mr. H. Who knows but among the female natives might be found Melesinda. Sir! (raising her head.) Mr. H. One who would be more kind thansome Oberea-Queen Oberea. Melesinda. Oh! Mr. H. Or what if I were to seek for proofs of reciprocal esteem among unprejudiced African maids, in Monomotopa. Enter Servant. Servant. Mr. Belvil. [Exit. Enter BELVIL. Mr. H. In Monomotopa (musing.) Belvil. Heyday, Jack! what means this mortified face? nothing has happened, I hope, between this lady and you. I beg pardon, Madam, but understanding my friend was with you, I took the liberty of seeking him here. Some lit tle difference possibly which a third person can adjust not a word-will you, Madam, as this gentleman's friend, suffer me to be the arbitrator strange-hark'e, Jack, nothing has come out, has there? you understand me. Oh I guess how it is somebody has got at your secret, you hav'n't blabbed it yourself, have you? ha! ha! ha! I could find in my heart-Jack, what would you give me if I should relieve you— Mr. H. No power of man can relieve me (sighs) but it must lie at the root, gnawing at the roothere it will lie. Belvil. No power of man? not a common man, I grant you; for instance, a subject-its out of the power of any subject. Mr. H. Gnawing at the root-there it will lie. Belvil. Such a thing has been known as a name to be changed; but not by a subject—(shews a Gazette.) Mr. H. Gnawing at the root (suddenly snatches the paper out of Belvil's hand) ha! pish! nonsense! give it me-what! (reads) promotions, bankrupts a great many bankrupts this weekthere it will lie (lays it down, takes it up again, and reads) "The King has been graciously pleased"-gnawing at the root--" graciously root— |
