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an honour; and hope you'll look on me as' a poor unfortunate young fellow, that has not a shilling, nor the means of getting one, upon the face of the earth.

Capt. Oh! upon my shoul, then, cousin Cheatwell, I pity your condition with all my heart; and since things are so bad with you, if you'll take a trip with me to my Irish plantation along with my dear creature here, l’íl give you sool. to stock a farm upon my own estate at Ballymafcushlane, in the county of Monaghan, and the barony of Coogasighy, Fait, and here's Betty, a tight little girl ; and since you cou'd not get the mistress, if you'll take up with the maid, my dear here shall give her a couple of hundreds to fortune her off.

Betty. Captain, I'm very much oblig'd to you for getting me a husband; if Mr Cheatwell has any tenders for me, I have a thousand pound left me as a legacy, which is at his service.

Capt. Ara, what's that, my dear! a servant-maid with a tousand pound !-by my shoul, there is many a lady in my country, that goes to plays, and balls, and masquerades, that has not half the money; and scorns to make her own smock.

Cheat. I shou'd be blind to my own interest not to accept of such valuable proposals, and with gratitude take your hand, promising for the future to lead a life which shall be a credit both to myself and benefactor.

Capt. Well then, without compliment, I am glad I have made one poor man happy; and since we have made a double match, hey for Ireland, where we will live like Irish kings.

Lucy. This generofity amazes me, and greatly preju. dices me in the honesty and goodness of the Irith.

Capt. Oagh, my dear little charmer, I've another song juft à propose Of all the husbands living an Irishman's the best,

With my fal, lal, &c. No nation on the globe like him can stand the test,

With my fal, lal, &c. The English they are drones, as plainly you may fee; But we're all brisk and airy, and lively as a bee. With my fal, lal, &c.


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Written and Spoken by Mr FOOTE.
SEVERF their task, who, in this critic age,

With freso materials furnish out the stage!
Not that our fathers drain'd the comic store;
Fresh characters spring up as beretsfore-
Nature with novelty does fill abound;
On every side freßo follies may be found.
But then the taste of every guest to hit,
To please at once the gallery, box, and pit;
Requires at leafl---110 common skare of wit.



Those who adorn the orb of higher life,
Demand the lively rake or modiso wife;
Whilf they who in a lower circle move,
Tawn at their wit, and flumber at their love.
If light, low mirth employs the comic scene,
Such mirth as drives from vulgar minds the Spleen;
The polish'd critic damns the wretched fuff,
And cries, 'Twill please the galleries well enough."
Sub jarring judgments who can reconcile,
Since fops will frown where humble traders smile??

To dass the poet's ineffectual claim,
And quench his thirst for universal fame,
The Grecian fabulift, in moral lay,
Has thus address’d the writers of this day.

Once on a time, a son and fire, we're told,
The ftripling tender, and the father old,
Purchas'd a jack-ass at a country fair.
To ease their limbs and bawk about their ware:
But as the Auggish animal was weak,
They fear'd, if both foould mount, his back wou'd break:
Up gets the boy; the father leads the ass,
And tbro' the gazing crowd attempt to pass:
Forth from the throng the Grey-beards bobble out,
And bail the cavalcade with feeble foout.
This the respect to reverend age you show?
." And this the duty you to parents owe?
He beats the hoof, and you are set aftride:
"Sirrah, get down, and let your father ride."
As Grecian lads were seldom void of grace,
The decent, duteous youth resign’d his place.
Then a freso murmur thro' the rabble ran;
Boys, girls, wives, widows, all attack the man.
Sure, never was brute-beast so void of nature!
Have you no pity for the pretty creature?
To your own baby can you be unkind?
* HereSuke, Bill, Bettyput the child behind.
Old Dapple next the clowns compassion claim'd:
'Tis wonderment them boobies ben't afkam’d,
Two at a time upon a poor dumb beast!

They might as well have carry'd be at least." The pair, still pliant to the partial voice, Dismount and bear the assom Then what a noise!. Huzzas, loud laughs, low gibe, and bitter joke, From the yet filent fire these words provoke: " Proceed, my boy, nor beed their farther call, Vain bis attempt wbosirives to please them all!"

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A C T I.


Governor CAPE and ROBIN.

ND he believes me dead, Robin ?

Rob. Most certainly. Gov. You have given him no intimation that his for. tunes might mend?

Rob. Not a distant hint.
Gov. How did he receive the news?

Rob. Calmly enough: when I told him that his hopes from abroad were at an end, that the friend of his deceased father thought he had done enough in putting it in his power to earn his own livelihood, he replied, 'twas no more than he had long expected, charged me with his warmest acknowledgments to his concealed benefactor, thanked me for my care, fighed, and left me.

Gov. And how has he lived since ?

Rob. Poorly, but honestly: to his pen he owes all his subsistence, I am fure my heart bleeds for him : confi. der, Sir, to what temptations you expose him.

Gov. The severer his trials, the greater his triumph. Shall the fruits of my honett industry, the purchase of many perils, he lavish'd on a lazy luxurious booby, who has to other merit than being born five-and-twenty years after me? No, no, Robin; him, and a profusion of debis, were all that the extravagance of his mother left me.

Rob. You lov'd her, Sir?

Gov. Fondly, nay, foolishly, or necessity had not compell’d me to seek for shelter in another climate. 'Tis true, forrune has been favourable to my labours; and when George convinces me that he inherits my spirit, he shall share my property, not else.

Rob. Consider, Sir, he has not your opportunities. Gov. Nor had I his education.

Rob. As the world goes, the worst you cou'd have given him. Lack-a-day! Learning, learning, Sir, is no commodity for this market: nothing makes money here, Sir, but monty; or fome certain fashionable qualities that you would not with your fon to poflefs.

Gov. Learning useless! Impossible !-Where are the Oxfords, the Halifaxes, the great protectors and patrons of the liberal arts ?

Rob. Patron !--The word has lost its use ; a guineasubscription at the request of a lady, whose chambermaid is acquainted with the author, may be now and then pick'd up-Protector !-Why, I dare believe there's more money laid out upon Islington turnpike in a month than upon all the learned men in Great Britain in leven years.

Gov. And yet the press groans with their produce tions! How do they all exift?

Rob. In garrets, Sir; as, if you will step to your fon's apartment in the next &reet, you will fee.

Gov. But wliat apology hall we make for the visit?

Rob. That you want the aid of his profession; a well. penn'd address now from the subjects of your late go. veroment, with your gracious reply, to put into the newspapers.

Gov. Ay! is that part of his practice !--Well, lead on, Robin. SCENE draws, and discovers Young Cape with the Prin

ter's Devil. Cape, Prithee, go aboat thy business—Vanish, dear devil.

Devil. Master bid me not come without the proof; he says as how there are two other Answers ready for the press; and if yours don't come out a Saturday, 'twon't pay for the paper.


you are always so lazy: I have more plague with you. There's Mr Guzzle, the trans. lator, never keeps me a minute-unless the poor gentle. man happens to be fuddled.

Cape. Why, you little, footy, fniv'ling, diabolical puppy, is it not sufficient to be plagu'd with the stupidity of your abfurd master, but I must be pester'd with your impertinence ?

Devil. Impertinence! Marry come up, I keep as good company as your worship every day in the yearThere's Mr Clench, in Little Britain, does not think it beneath him to take part of a pot of porter with me, VOL. III. T


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