Strephon, were he in Florio's condition, would be as obsequious as Florio is now, you ought for your own sake to choose Strephon; for where the men are equal, there is no doubt riches ought to be a reason for preference. After this manner, my dear child, I would have you abstract them from their circum. stances; for you are to take it for granted, that he who is very humble only because he is poor, is the very same man in nature, with him who is haughty because he is rich.

"When you have gone thus far, as to consider the figure they make towards you; you will please, my dear, next to consider the appearance you make towards them. If they are men of discerning, they can observe the motives of your heart: and Florio can see when he is disregarded only upon account of fortune, which makes you to him a mercenary creature; and you are still the same thing to Strephon, in taking him for his wealth only; you are therefore to consider whether you had rather oblige, than receive an obligation.

What an unexceptionable husband could I make out of both! It would therefore, methinks, be a good way to determine yourself. Take him in whom what you like is not transferable to another; for if you choose otherwise, there is no hopes your husband will ever have what you liked in his rival; but intrinsic qualities in one man may very probably purchase every thing that is adventitious in another. In plainer terms; he whom you take for his personal perfections will sooner arrive at the gifts of fortune, than he whom you take for the sake of his fortune attain to personal perfections. If Strephon is not as accomplished and agreeable as Florio, marriage to you will never make him so; but marriage to you may make Florio as rich as Strephon. There fore to make a sure purchase, employ fortune upon certainties, but do not sacrifice certainties to fortune. "I am, your most obedient, T. humble servant.”

No. 150.] WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 22, 1711.
Nil habet infelix paupertas durius in se
Quam quod ridiculos homines facit-

Juv. Sat. iii. 152

Want is the scorn of every wealthy fool,

And wit in rags is turn'd to ridicule.-DRYDEN.

As I was walking in my chamber the morning

"The marriage-life is always an insipid, a vexatious, or a happy condition. The first is, when two people of no genius or taste for themselves meet together, upon such a settlement as has been thought reasonable by parents and conveyancers from an exact valuation of the land and cash of both parties. In this case the young lady's person is no more regarded than the house and improvements in pur-before I went last into the country, I heard the hawkchase of an estate; but she goes with her fortune, rather than her fortune with her. These make up the crowd or vulgar of the rich, and fill up the lumber of the human race, without beneficence towards those below them, or respect towards those above them; and lead a despicable, independent, and useless life, without sense of the laws of kindness, good-nature, mutual offices, and the elegant satis-a Chambermaid, The Plagues of a Coachman, The factions which flow from reason and virtue.

"The vexatious life arises from a conjunction of two people of quick taste and resentment, put toge. ther for reasons well known to their friends, in which especial care is taken to avoid (what they think the chief of evils) poverty, and ensure to them riches, with every evil besides. These good people live in a constant constraint before company, and too great familiarity alone. When they are within observation, they fret at each other's carriage and behaviour; when alone, they revile each other's person and conduct. In company they are in a purgatory, when only together in a hell.

"The happy marriage is, where two persons meet and voluntarily make choice of each other without principally regarding or neglecting the circumstances of fortune or beauty. These may still love in spite of adversity or sickness: the former we may in some measure defend ourselves from, the other is the portion of our very make. When you have a true notion of this sort of passion, your humour of living great will vanish out of your imagination, and you will find love has nothing to do with state. Solitude, with the person beloved, has a pleasure, even in a woman's mind, beyond show or pomp. You are therefore to consider which of your lovers will like you best undressed, which will bear with you most when out of humour; and your way to this is to ask of yourself, which of them you value most for his own sake? and by that judge which gives the greater instances of his valuing you for yourself only.

"After you have expressed some sense of the humble approach of Florio, and a little disdain at Strephon's assurance in his address, you cry out,

ers with great vehemence crying about a paper, entitled, The Ninety-nine Plagues of an Empty Purse. I had indeed some time before observed, that the orators of Grub-street had dealt very much in plagues. They have already published in the same month, The Plagues of Matrimony, The Plagues of a Single life, The Nineteen Plagues of

Plagues of a Footman, and The Plague of Plagues.
The success these several plagues met with, probably
gave occasion to the above-mentioned poem on an
empty purse. However that be, the same noise so
frequently repeated under my window, drew me in-
sensibly to think on some of those inconveniences
and mortifications which usually attend on poverty,
and, in short, gave birth to the present speculation;
for after my fancy had run over the most obvious
and common calamities which men of mean fortunes
are liable to, it descended to those little insults and
contempts which, though they may seem to dwindle
into nothing when a man offers to describe them,
are perhaps in themselves more cutting and insup
portable than the former. Juvenal with a great deal
of humour and reason tells us, that nothing bore
harder upon a poor man in his time, than the cons
tinual ridicule which his habit and dress afforded to
the beaux of Rome:

Quid, quod materiam præbet causasque jocorum
Omnibus hic idem; si foda et scissa lacerna,
Si toga sordidula est, et rupta calceus alter
Pelle patet, vel si consuto vulnere crassum
Atque recens linum ostendit non una cicatrix.

Juv. Sat. iii. 147..

Add that the rich have stíll á gibe in store,
And will be monstrous witty on the poor;
For the torn surtout and the tatter'd vest,
The wretch and all his wardrobe are a jest ;
The greasy gown sully'd with often turning,
Gives a good hint to say the man's in mourning;
Or if the shoe be ript, or patch is put,

He's wounded, see the plaster on his foot.-DRYDEN.
It is on this occasion that he afterwards adds the
reflection which I have chosen for my motto.
Want is the scorn of every wealthy fool,
And wit in rags is turn'd to ridicule.-DRYDEN.

coffee-house near the Temple. I had not been there long when there came in an elderly man very meanly dressed, and sat down by me; he had a thread-bare loose coat on, which it was plain he wore to keep himself warm, and not to favour his under suit, which seemed to have been at least its contempo

It must be confessed that few things make a man appear more despicable, or more prejudice his hear ers against what he is going to offer, than an awk ward or pitiful dress; insomuch that, I fancy, had Tully himself pronounced one of his orations with a blanket about his shoulders, more people would have laughed at his dress than have admired his elo-rary; his short wig and hat were both answerable quence. This last reflection made me wonder at a set of men, who, without being subjected to it by the unkindness of their fortunes, are contented to draw upon themselves the ridicule of the world in this particular. I mean such as take it into their heads, that the first regular step to be a wit is to commence a sloven. It is certain nothing has so much debased that which must have been otherwise so great a character; and I know not how to account for it, unless it may possibly be in complaisance to those narrow minds who can have no notion of the same persons possessing different accomplishments; or that it is a sort of sacrifice which some men are contented to make to calumny, by allowing it to fasten on one part of their character, while they are endeavouring to establish another.

to the rest of his apparel. He was no sooner seated than he called for a dish of tea; but as several gentlemen in the room wanted other things, the boys of the house did not think themselves at leisure to mind him. I could observe the old fellow was very uneasy at the affront, and at his being obliged to repeat his commands several times to no purpose; until at last one of the lads presented him with some stale tea in a broken dish, accompanied with a plate of brown sugar; which so raised his indignation, that after several obliging appellations of dog and rascal, he asked him aloud before the whole company, "why he must be used with less respect than that fop there?" pointing to a well-dressed young gentleman who was drinking tea at the opposite table. The boy of the house replied with a good deal of pertness, "that his master had two sorts of customers, and that the gentleman at the other table had given him many a sixpence for wiping his shoes." By this time the young Templar, who found his honour concerned in the dispute, and that I have seen the speed of a Terra fius, oken the eyes of the whole coffee-house were upon him, in King Charles the Second's reign; in which he had thrown aside a paper he had in his hand, and describes two very eminent men, who were perhaps was coming towards us, while we at the table made the greatest scholars of their age; and after having what haste we could to get away from the impending mentioned the entire friendship between them, con- quarrel, but were all of us surprised to see him as cludes that, "they had but one mind, one purse, he approached nearer put on an air of deference and one chamber, and one hat." The men of business respect. To whom the old man said, “Hark you, were also infected with a sort of singularity little sirrah, I will pay off your extravagant bills once better than this. I have heard my father say, that more, but will take effectual care for the future, that a broad-brimmed hat, short hair, and unfolded hand-your prodigality shall not spirit up a parcel of raskerchief, were in his time absolutely necessary to denote a "notable man ;" and that he had known two or three, who aspired to the character of "very notable," wear shoe-strings with great success.

Yet however unaccountable this foolish custom is, I am afraid it could plead a long prescription; and probably gave too much occasion for the vulgar definition still remaining among us of a heathen philosopher.

To the honour of our present age, it must be allowed, that some of our greatest geniuses for wit and business have almost entirely broken the neck of these absurdities.

Victor, after having dispatched the most important affairs of the commonwealth, has appeared at an assembly, where all the ladies have declared him the genteelest man in the company; and in Attieus, though every way one of the greatest geniuses the age has produced, one sees nothing particular in his dress or carriage to denote his pretensions to wit and learning: so that at present a man may venture to cock up his hat, and wear a fashionable wig, without being taken for a rake or a fool.

The medium between a fop and a sloven is what a man of sense would endeavour to keep; yet I remember Mr. Osborn advises his son to appear in his habit rather above than below his fortune; and tells him that he will find a handsome suit of clothes always procures some additional respect. I have indeed myself observed that my banker ever bows lowest to me when I wear my full-bottomed wig; and writes me "Mr." or "Esq." according as he sees me dressed.

I shall conclude this paper with an adventure hich I was myself an eye-witness of very lately. nappened the other day to call in at a celebrated

cals to insult your father."

Though I by no means approve either the impu dence of the servants or the extravagance of the son, I cannot but think the old gentleman was in some measure justly served for walking in masquerade, I mean in appearing in a dress so much beneath his quality and estate.-X.

No. 151.] THURSDAY, AUGUST 23, 1711. Maximas virtutes jacere omnes necesse est voluptate dominante-TULL. de Fin.

Where pleasure prevails, all the greatest virtues will lose their power.

I KNOW no one character that gives reason a greater shock, at the same time that it presents a good ridiculous image to the imagination, than that of a man of wit and pleasure about the town. This description of a man of fashion, spoken by some with a mixture of scorn and ridicule, by others with great gravity as a laudable distinction, is in every body's mouth that spends any time in conversation. My friend Will Honeycomb has this expression very frequently; and I never could understand by the story which follows upon his mention of such a one, but that his man of wit and pleasure was either a drunkard too old for wenching, or a young lewd fellow with some liveliness, who would converse with you, receive kind offices of you, and at the same time debauch your sister, or lie with your wife. According to this description, a man of wit, when he could have wenches for crowns apiece which he liked quite as well, would be so extravagant as to bribe servants, make false friendships, fight rela

tions; I say, according to him, plain and simple plauses; but, on the other side, consider the old age vice was too little for a man of wit and pleasure; of those who have passed their days in labour, inbut he would leave an easy and accessible wicked dustry, and virtue; their decays make them but apness, to come at the same thing with only the addi-pear the more venerable, and the imperfections of tion of certain falsehood and possible murder. Will their bodies are beheld as a misfortune to human thinks the town grown very dull, in that we do not society that their make is so little durable. hear so much as we used to do of these coxcombs, whom (without observing it) he describes as the most infamous rogues in nature, with relation to friendship, love, or conversation.

But to return more directly to my man of wit and pleasure. In all orders of men, wherever this is the chief character, the person who wears it is a negligent friend, father, and husband, and entails poverty When pleasure is made the chief pursuit of life, on his unhappy decendants. Mortgages, diseases, it will necessarily follow that such monsters as these and settlements, are the legacies a man of wit and will arise from a constant application to such bland-pleasure leaves to his family. All the poor rogues ishments as naturally root out the force of reason and reflection, and substitute in their place a general impatience of thought, and a constant pruriency of inordinate desire.

that make such lamentable speeches after every sessions at Tyburn, were, in their way, men of wit and pleasure before they fell into the adventures which brought them thither.

Pleasure, when it is a man's chief purpose, disap- Irresolution and procrastination in all a man's afpoints itself; and the constant application to it palls fairs, are the natural effects of being addicted to the faculty of enjoying it, though it leaves the sense pleasure. Dishonour to the gentleman, and bankof our inability for that we wish, with a disrelish of ruptcy to the trader, are the portion of either whose every thing else. Thus the intermediate seasons of chief purpose of life is delight. The chief cause that the man of pleasure are more heavy than one would this pursuit has been in all ages received with so impose upon the vilest criminal. Take him when much quarter from the soberer part of mankind, has he is awaked too soon after a debauch, or disap- been, that some men of great talents have sacrificed pointed in following a worthless woman without themselves to it. The shining qualities of such truth, and there is no man living whose being is people have given a beauty to whatever they were such a weight of vexation as his is. He is an utter engaged in, and a mixture of wit has recommended stranger to the pleasing reflections in the evening of madness. For let any man who knows what it is to a well-spent day, or the gladness of heart or quick- have passed much time in a series of jollity, mirth, ness of spirit in the morning after profound sleep or wit, or humorous entertainments, look back at what indolent slumbers. He is not to be at ease any longer he was all that while a-doing, and he will find that than he can keep reason and good sense without his he has been at one instant sharp to some man he is curtains; otherwise he will be haunted with the re-sorry to have offended, impertinent to some one it flection, that he could not believe such a one the woman that upon trial he found her. What has he got by his conquest, but to think meanly of her for whom a day or two before he had the highest honour? And of himself for perhaps wronging the man whom of all men living he himself would least willingly have injured?

was cruelty to treat with such freedom, ungracefully noisy at such a time, unskilfully open at such a time, unmercifully calumnious at such a time; and, from the whole course of his applauded satisfactions, unable in the end to recollect any circumstance which can add to the enjoyment of his own mind alone, or which he would put his character upon with other Pleasure seizes the whole man who addicts him- men. Thus it is with those who are best made for self to it, and will not give him leisure for any good becoming pleasures; but how monstrous is it in the office in life which contradicts the gaiety of the pre- generality of mankind who pretend this way, without sent hour. You may indeed observe in people of genius or inclination towards it! The scene, then, pleasure a certain complacency and absence of all is wild to an extravagance: this is, as if fools should severity, which the habit of a loose unconcerned life mimic madmen. Pleasure of this kind is the intemgives them; but tell the man of pleasure your secret perate meals and loud jollities of the common rate of wants, cares, or sorrows, and you will find that he country gentlemen, whose practice and way of enjoyhas given up the delicacy of his passions to the crav-ment is to put an end, as fast as they can, to that ings of his appetites. He little knows the perfect joy he loses, for the disappointing gratifications which he pursues. He looks at Pleasure as she approaches, and comes to him with the recommendation of warm wishes, gay looks, and graceful motion; but he does not observe how she leaves his presence with disorder, impotence, downcast shame, and conscious imperfection. She makes our youth inglorious, our age shameful.

little particle of reason they have when they are sober. These men of wit and pleasure dispatch their senses as fast as possible, by drinking until they cannot taste, smoking until they cannot see, and roaring until they cannot hear.—Ť.

Like leaves on trees the race of man is found-POPK's Hom No. 152.] FRIDAY, AUGUST 24, 1711. Will Honeycomb gives us twenty intimations in THERE is no sort of people whose conversation an evening of several bags whose bloom was given is so pleasant as that of military men, who derive up to his arms; and would raise a value to himself their courage and magnanimity from thought and for having had, as the phrase is, "very good women.' reflection. The many adventures which attend their Will's good women are the comfort of his heart, and way of life makes their conversation so full of incisupport him, I warrant, by the memory of past in-dents, and gives them so frank an air in speaking terviews with persons of their condition! No, there of what they have been witnesses of, that no com is not in the world an occasion wherein vice makes pany can be more amiable than that of men of sense so fantastical a figure, as at the meeting of two old who are soldiers. There is a certain irregular way people who have been partners in unwarrantable in their narrations or discourse, which has something pleasure. To tell a toothless old lady that she once note warm and pleasing than we meet with among had a good set, or a defunct wencher that he was the men who are used to adjust and methodize their admired thing of the town, are satires instead of ap- thoughts.

I was this evening walking in the fields with my always with contempt and raillery), and in the friend Captain Sentry, and I could not, from the beginning of the action received a wound he was many relations which I drew him into of what passed sensible was mortal; his reflection on this occasion when he was in the service, forbear expressing my was, I wish I could live another hour, to see how this wonder, that the “fear of death," which we, the rest blundering coxcomb will get clear of this business. of mankind, arm ourselves against with so much "I remember two young fellows who rid in the contemplation, reason, and philosophy, should ap- same squadron of a troop of horse, who were ever pear so little in camps, that common men march together; they ate, they drank, they intrigued; in into open breaches, meet opposite battalions, not a word, all their passions and affections seemed to only without reluctance, but with alacrity. My tend the same way, and they appeared serviceable friend answered what I said in the following man- to each other in them. We were in the dusk of the ner: "What you wonder at may very naturally be evening to march over a river, and the troop these the subject of admiration to all who are not convers. gentlemen belonged to were to be transported in a ant in camps; but when a man has spent some time ferry-boat, as fast as they could. One of the friends in that way of life, he observes a certain mechanic was now in the boat, while the other was drawn up courage which the ordinary race of men become with others by the water-side, waiting the return of masters of from acting always in a crowd. They the boat. A disorder happened in the passage by see indeed many drop, but then they see many more an unruly horse; and a gentleman who had the alive; they observe themselves escape very narrowly, rein of his horse negligently under his arm, was and they do not know why they should not again. forced into the water by his horse's jumping over. Besides which general way of loose thinking, they The friend on the shore cried out, Who is that usually spend the other part of their time in plea- is drowned, trow?' He was immediately answered, sures upon which their minds are so entirely bent, Your friend Harry Thompson.' He very gravely that short labours or dangers are but a cheap pur- replied, Ay, he had a mad horse.' This short epichase of jollity, triumph, victory, fresh quarters, thet from such a familiar, without more words, gave new scenes, and uncommon adventures. Such are me, at that time under twenty, a very moderate the thoughts of the executive part of an army, and opinion of the friendship of companions. Thus is indeed of the gross of mankind in general; but none affection and every other motive of life in the geneof these men of mechanical courage have ever made rality rooted out by the present busy scene about any great figure in the profession of arms. Those them; they lament no man whose capacity can be who are formed for command, are such as have supplied by another; and where men converse withreasoned themselves, out of a consideration of greater out delicacy, the next man you meet will serve as good than length of days, into such a negligence of well as he whom you have lived with half your life. their being, as to make it their first position, that it To such the devastation of countries, the misery is one day to be resigned;-and since it is, in the of inhabitants, the cries of the pillaged, and the prosecution of worthy actions and service of man- silent sorrow of the great unfortunate, are ordinary kind, they can put it to habitual hazard. The event objects; their minds are bent upon the little gratifiof our designs, say they, as it relates to others, is cations of their own senses and appetites, forgetful uncertain; but as it relates to ourselves it must be of compassion, insensible of glory, avoiding only prosperous, while we are in the pursuit of our duty, shame; their whole hearts taken up with the trivial and within the terms upon which Providence has hope of meeting and being merry. These are the ensured our happiness, whether we die or live. All people who make up the gross of the soldiery. But that nature has prescribed must be good; and as the fine gentleman in that band of men is such a death is near to us, it is absurdity to fear it. Fear one as I have now in my eye, who is foremost in all loses its purpose when we are sure it cannot pre- danger to which he is ordered. His officers are his serve us, and we should draw resolution to meet it friends and companions, as they are men of honour from the impossibility to escape it. Without a resig- and gentlemen; the private men his brethren, as nation to the necessity of dying, there can be no they are of his species. He is beloved of all that capacity in man to attempt any thing that is glori- behold him. They wish him in danger as he views ous: but when they have once attained to that per- their ranks, that they may have occasions to save fection, the pleasures of a life spent in martial ad. him at their own hazard. Mutual love is the order ventures are as great as any of which the human of the files where he commands; every man afraid mind is capable. The force of reason gives a certain for himself and his neighbour, not lest their combeauty mixed with conscience of well-doing and mander should punish them, but lest he should be thirst of glory to all which before was terrible and offended. Such is his regiment who knows mankind, ghastly to the imagination. Add to this, that the and feels their distresses so far as to prevent them. fellowship of danger, the common good of mankind, Just in distributing what is their due, he would think the general cause, and the manifest virtue you may himself below their tailor to wear a snip of their observe in so many men who made no figure until clothes in lace upon his own; and below the most that day, are so many incentives to destroy the little rapacious agent should he enjoy a farthing above his consideration of their own persons. Such are the own pay. Go on, brave man! immortal glory is thy heroic part of soldiers, who are qualified for leaders. fortune, and immortal happiness thy reward.”—T. As to the rest whom I before spoke of, I know not how it is, but they arrive at a certain habit of being void of thought, insomuch that on occasion of the most imminent danger they are still in the same indifference. Nay, I remember an instance of a gay Frenchman, who was led on in battle by a superior officer (whose conduct it was his custom to speak of

The Frenchman here alluded to was the Chevalier de Flourilles, a lieutenant-general under the Prince of Conde, at the battle of Senelf, in 1674.

No. 153.] SATURDAY, AUGUST 25, 1711.

Habet natura ut aliarum omnium rerum sic vivendi modum,

senectus autem peractio ætatis est tanquam fabulæ. Cujus de-
fatigationem fugere debemus, præsertim adjuncta satietate.

FULL. de Senect.

nature; and its conclusion, like the last act of a play, is old
Life, as well as all other things, hath its bounds assigned by
age, the fatigue of which we ought to shun, especially when
our appetites are fully satisfied.

Of all the impertinent wishes which we hear ex