NONE THEIR END OBTAIN.

THE miser has his anguish,
The merchant weary pain,
The lover long doth languish,
Yet none their end obtain.

The toiling farmer soweth,

The reaper reaps the grain:
The traveller forward goeth--

Yet none their end obtain.

The miser loves his money,

The merchant all his care;
The lover-gall and honey-
For thus it is they fare.

The farmer in death's furrow,
Is buried like his grain;
The laborer on the morrow
From labor doth refrain:
All pay the life they borrow,
For all that end obtain.

They lie them down to slumber
Beneath the churchyard stone
With all the woes they number,
Their destiny unknown.

And what thus could they follow,
With such continual quest?
What flitting dream and hollow

Thus robbed them of their rest.

Power, wealth, or love, or leisure,

Alone could not be sought;
Beyond must be some treasure,
Some phantom of the thought.

They sought, thus truth confesseth,
But, erring, failed to find,
What heaven alone possesseth—
The calm and happy mind!
RICHARD HOWITT.

A SUPPOSED INCIDENT.

"There was he often found sitting in the front of his house, in the morning sun, and enjoying the fresh air."-LIFE OF MILTON.

A BLIND old man, in simple, grave array,
Sat in the cheerful sun; when by there
past

A youth, on him disdainful looks who

cast,

YES, these "papers" have lately appeared darkening the literary atmosphere almost as suddenly, and as numerously, as the "plague of locusts." All the periodicals now abound with "these papers," or "those papers," or the other papers," the last set of "papers" being always more extravagant than those immediately preceding them. Of their brilliancy, of their moral effect, of their tendency to purify or elevate the public taste, we shall say nothing;-of their success, that those whom Shakspeare has ceased to please, can still grin at the low absurdities of Punch and his helpmate: their utility however, we will laud, for all kinds of purposes, mechanical and domestic.

But it is of no use to rail against a prevailing fashion. A wise man will not-he will adopt, and if he be able, improve it. Has any oze fully and maturely considered the terminations of a modern fashionable dress-coat? If the wearer would condescend for a short time to stoop so far forwards as almost to go upon all fours, and the tails of his coat were at all stiff, he would make no bad resemblance of one of the most impudent of animals without its wings, a St. James's Square cock-sparrow. Yet, notwithstanding the absurdity of this fashion, that has so long prevailed, what sensible man would think of strutting into a drawing-room tailless? Not ourselves, certainly. We would neither try to pin them up behind, nor draw them before us in the manner of the wings of a saluting seraph, but wear them, as all others do, fairly and decently hanging behind us. Now, the genius of literature (periodical of course) had, till lately, his own becoming costume. If he were in his graver moods, he attired himself in the dignified robes of the Roman, Grecian, or English muse; if in his gayer temper, he would have on a tight fit, with a many-colored jacket. In this equipment he would leap you his fourteen yards with the freest air imagin.

A courtier smooth, in courtly garments gay,able. But these fashions have gone by; he Who pausing muttered, in the public way, "The wretch thou art who loudest blew the blast

Of civil strife; and guerdon fit thou hast, Left lonely thus to darkness and decay."

has become thoroughly cockney. The popular authors of the day have clapped tails to his jacket. He steps along the metropolitan pavement delicately, or, at best, but goes, for a short time, and but for a little way out of

town, makes sweet confusion with his w's and a book full of jests, a horror. A man of real v's-fraternizes with ostlers, "and such small wit may, at times, condescend to be droll, but gear," and is employed most of his time in what name would you give him that strove to clapping vulgarity into a clean shirt, with a create a reputation by drudging at drollery? frill upon it. O these "papers," these "pa- I cannot, Mr. Editor, furnish you with papers pers!" these tales to our coats! We must similar to those which you require, at any get some, however. price. Will you lunch ?"

Full of these reflections, we repaired to the greatest literary character of the day. Truth. Every author who reads this, will deny the assertion, saying that he has no recollection of our calling upon him; and all other persons must know that this "greatest writer of the day," must be one of about five or six who have not yet given the world their "papers." Being full of our subject, though short of tails, we asked him if he could not furnish us with a pair for the metropolitan vestment. It was some time before he fully understood us, and, when he did, he was somewhat offended, asking us rather coolly, if we ever thought that a genuine Yorick," who had set the table in a roar," could be, by any means, induced to grin through a horse-collar for a gold-laced hat, or if he wished to see so vile a degradation.

We confess that this remark was hard upon us, but we appeased him a little by saying, that as horse-collars were now become the vogue, we only requested him to lend us one to grin through, in common with our contemporaries, and that even the name of the furnisher need never transpire. Seeing him a little mollified, we thus proceeded. "Now, sir, name your own price-two guineas a page-anything-your 'papers,' my dear sir" -your papers."

"You are over eager, my good friend. I should not succeed."

"But the incognito ?" Not that we wished it--but the very contrary. We were smoothing our way.

"I could not preserve it-I should either write above the mark, and betray myself, and that would not answer my purpose or below it, and betray my dulness, which would not answer your purpose. Come, an anchovy sandwich?"

Seeing our friend so obstinate and so antithetical, we began to despair: no doubt, our despondency was visible enough on our countenance, and we were about to retire with the sorrowful conviction, that for the next number of the Magazine we should have nothing better to offer the public than an olio of genuine and various literature, both prose and poetry, from some of the best living authors, when a smile mantled over the face of the distinguished writer, that gave us some faint indications of hope.

"It is singular," said he, "that this conversation did not before call to my recollection, that I have by me some few papersdocuments I mean, that, by a little trouble on your part, and some few alterations on mine, might answer your purpose."

All exultation, we hurriedly exclaimed,— By yourself! by yourself! by the celebrated author of——"

"O no, no, no," he replied, with a most Delphic shake of the head.

"Yes, yes," said we, "physically as well as morally, the man of the present day, though bearing the same name, and claiming the same identity, is not the man of seven years past-but these papers, though you now renounce them," and we took them up and caressed them lovingly, "yet you will edit them; we may tell the world in our title-pages and in our advertisements-what are they called? Ah, I see, Trismegistian Records,' edited

"Not succeed! In what quarter of Europe of the civilized world, has not your eloquence resounded, your pathos moved, and your wit delighted? You, who have wrestled with and overcome that many-armed giant, public opinion, cannot you catch me a cockchafer, stick a pin through it, and thus make a little innocent mirth for the entertainment of the readers of 'funny papers? For once put off your Attic state, and clap tails to your coat. I'll answer for it, that, thus disguised, nobody by—” will know you. Now for your papers.' "I will by no means consent to it—decided"Indeed," said the genius, rubbing his rath-ly not. To oblige you, I will make a few er long, thoughtful, and pleasing features with alterations in these records; but my name his delicate forefinger. "You half persuade must never appear in connection with them. me to become a 'paper-maker'-but what titleUpon that understanding alone shall they should I give them ?” pass into your hands. Not a word. I am inexorable. Upon these conditions they are at your service."

"Anything. Call them general papers, if you will. I know that if you make them up, they will never become what those are with which we are about to contend, cornet papers. The grocers will not benefit by them."

But this compliment to the unborn gave birth to no agreeable sensations to him for whom it was made. After a longer silence than was agreeable, he spoke to me with a decision that showed plainly that his resolu tion was taken. "My good friend, this rage for risible rascality, and vulgarity made humorous, cannot last. One jest is good, ten consecutive jests tiresome, and a jest book, or

"Exalted as is your genius, I fear me, vithout your name, the service that they can do us will be but trifling."

"But may not these records be full of low humor, and practical jokes, and domestic drollery; and how know you that they are deficient in slang?"

"To parody Shakspeare, 'where the virtue of a name is, all these but serve to make more virtuous; but, without the gilding of a name, these best of attributes will but cause the 'Records' to be pronounced as shocking low."'

"But really, the humor of these papers is tactics of these would-be distributors of renot low-as far as I can judge of it, it is dry, nown are different. If the author be so forcaustic, grotesque, and Quixotic, sometimes tunate as not to belong to any political party, misanthropical." his critics will, in spite of him, class him in some particular school of writing, and thus, either as a politician or a littéraire, he will be ultra-lauded by one set, and particularly well d- d by twenty others."

"We are eager for these 'Records.' Though you disown them, probably they will not disown you. Some faint shadowings, perhaps, of the juvenile fevers of your own brain." "Come, come, Mr. Editor, though no one can accuse you of riding a high horse, you ride a most marvellous swift one, and a good leaper too, for you jump at a most far-fetched conclusion. Speculate as you will, but be silent. I will go through a few of the records to-morrow morning, but my name must not appear; I tell you, sir, my name must not appear."

After

Our highly-gifted friend winced at this remark, as if he felt there was more truth in it than he was willing to allow; for though he now stands much too high for the peltings of paltry criticism, and that neither the "stings or the arrows of outrageous weekly impo tence" can reach him, yet, in the early part of his career, he was tolerably well "mobbed;" which is the best expression that we "I truly regret it-but-a delicate subject can use to describe the clamorous and vulgar -hum-the mention of the thirty-two guineas ordeal through which he had to pass. a sheet was, you know, conditional; my a few pacings up and down the apartment, he duty to the proprietors-hah-but-as these stopped abruptly, and as abruptly exclaimed, records must appear anonymously-and yet," Pray, in what consists the power of these it seems absurd to mention such a thing-but contemptible assailants?" really, as such, had Shakspeare furnished the "In iteration, iteration,' as Shakspeare poetry, Rabelais the wit, and Milton the dic- hath it, damnable iteration.' 'The Times,' tion-anonymously-you understand, they which is now so patriotically employing its would only be worth to us-about, about, a energies, knows the value of this engine. The penny a line-or a little under." drop of water and the stone. Bring but a "Ha, ha, ha! you could not have paid me poet's heart, or call it his reputation, which is a greater compliment. I now fully understand to him his heart of hearts, bring this but unthe value of my reputation. Don't let your der the dripping-stone of calculating, perseduty to your proprietors cause you any un-vering, and systematic abuse; and speak, easiness. As I will give these "Records" no value by lending them my name, I have no right to expect to receive anything of value from them.

"Anonymous as they must be, if two or three of the weekly prints, that plume them selves upon criticism, would abuse them, they might then perhaps rise to be of some value."

shades of a thousand worthies, and tell the unheeding world how soon your hearts crumbled under the death-cold operation."

"True, most true. Happy am I that, from station, circumstances, and other accidents, I so soon removed myself from under it."

"Among those accidents, enumerate exalted merit."

66

Well," continued the author, "I shall "Indeed! Then if their abuse is so valu- shortly be au fait at all the methods of spinable, at what do you estimate their eulogy!" ning these dirty webs, though I confess, that "That requires an explanatory answer. at present, I cannot see, as respects these There are two sorts of eulogy, and two sortsTrismegistian Records,' how all these reof abuse; and of these four categories, one marks apply." only is truly of value to a literary production. "You will find that they all converge to I do not say an author; for the conductors of one point-and which point I hope I shall weekly scurrility will be valiant over a work, carry. I have shown you the effect of outraand quail before a name. We will take the geous laudation, and iterated defamation. noxious qualities first. If an author have not We will now again speak of unknown authors previously a well-established reputation, un- and anonymous works, for these are the measured and outrageous praise will prove usual prey of the periodical press. Faint the worst infliction that he can smart under. abuse and faint praise, the staples of its critiEven when a really good production is cism, is either of them highly injurious; and 'sicklied o'er with the weekly slaver' of heb- the disgust that is excited by reading the domedal critical laudation, the poor thing vapid critique is generally extended to the much resembles a fly in a treacle-pot, it must unread work that is criticised. The unfortuclear itself of the pestilent sweets, ere it can nate reader endeavors to forget both as fast take a tolerable flight." as he can."

"No, no-this will never do. Panegyric cannot hurt a good work, and may, for a time, uphold even a bad one."

"You are deceived, my good sir. I could, instanter, mention twenty tolerable books that have been first panegyrized into contempt, and ultimately puffed into oblivion, by sixpenny sanguine assurers of success. Mind, speak only of first, or of anonymous productions. When the author is known, the

66

Naturally, naturally-my most excellent editor and writer of periodical critiques!"

"Not weekly ones; but we have yet to touch upon the most amusing phase of the whole; that of violent and frantic abusewhich is almost sure to render the author most essential service."

66

'Instance, instance-one inch of instance is worth a mile of assertion."

"There is a furious radical weekly paper

of great literary talent; honest, we think, in, by the *****, with an excellent work be principle, and of the most unswerving con- fore him, even the drift of which he could not, sistency, we are certain, but of a strange in- at first, understand; and when, at leng h, affirmity in its critical notices. Two of Cap. ter much labor, he began to catch a glimmertain Marryat's novels the reviewer attached ing of the author's meaning, and found that it to this paper, disinissed with a brief, yet bit- was a treasure he could not appreciate, we ter and rancorous condemnation; consequent- saw him growling a vulgar oath over it, and ly, yes, consequently, in some measure, they leave it to go and batten upon and praise th became universal favorites, not only in Eng- last new fashionable work by a lady of que land and America, but all over Europe, in the ty. The cur, the purse of gold, and the dead various continental languages." cat."

"But did not others abuse them too?" "The last image that you have conjured up "Yes, others of the same stamp. It did is so revolting, that we must dispel it with anthem good, for every window in a street will other glass of wine. Now for the application be thrown up, and every go-sip will thrust of all this to the subject matter between us.” her head out as far as she can, to get a glimpse. "Simply this-that you should by attachat the person whom the fools are hooting at. A very humorous spectacle is puzzled and angry ignorance.

"It is, indeed."

"We will relate to you a little anecdote à-propos of this subject. We were one day sauntering, in our usual lack-a-daisical manner, along the green sward that lined the high road that led to a considerable market-town, when there came blowing and floundering along it, upon a hard-trotting horse, a farmer, very honest, I presume, and very careless; for he neither noticed a yelping cur that was snapping at his horse's heels, or the fall of a heavy leather bag from his own person. The man was out of sight in a short time; for when we shouted after him, and the word purse' met his ears, he pushed his steed into a hard gallop, in order to save that which he had just lost."

"Well, give us the moral of that, after the manner of editors."

ing your name to these forthcoming Records, hush all the small critics either into silence, or excite them into praise. Because we may be strong, there is no heroism in offering our. selves to the stings of reptiles if we can avoid them. Let us persuade you-attach your name to them either as author or editor."

We at first thought that we had made the impression upon the great man that we had wished. He begged for a little time to consider on the subject, said he would think of it seriously, and we finally took our leave under the persuasion that all we sought for would be gained.

But these glorious anticipations were not to be realised. As, the next day, we were sitting in our office in a pleasing reverie, and dwelling with a glow of satisfaction upon the glories of our forthcoming advertisements, a person brought to us the first portion of the " Trismegistian Records," with a polite, but most peremptory letter from the author, that "We can see in the farmer's action the if used, not the slighest allusion must be made conduct of the movement party; the faster to him. We have read this portion with the they go, the faster they leave all that is worth greatest delight; but we dare not make use ci preserving behind. But we ask pardon of it, and dread to return it. We must take an. your whiggery, and will get on with our anec-other month to think over the matter. dote. The leathern purse, well tied up, was on the ground, the owner and everybody else out of sight, excepting the cur. Ile seized it with his teeth, he touzled it, and scratched it, and flung it about his head, and grew quite furious upon the subject, and howled over it bitterly; indeed, so fiery had become his rage, that I dared not approach him. At last, after many efforts, and a great expenditure of froth, he so much loosened the string, that he got at its contents; and, when he found that they were nothing but pure gold, he clapped his tail between his legs. and ran dismayed to the nearest ditch, where, a moment after, we saw him supremel, happy over the carcase of a drowned cat."

"Well, another version of Esop's fable of

the Cock and the Jewel."

"No-for in this ill-favored cur we saw the type of the whole race of small critics. We pictured to ourselves one of them employed

We assure our friends, that all we have stated above, is substantially, and, for the most part, literally true. It may, with apparent justice, be asked of us, “If you know these Records' to be good, why refuse, under any circumstances, what is good to the pub. lic?" To this we must answer-supposing that a lady possessed a real brilliant of the greatest value, would she wear it at a party in which she was sure of meeting every other lady decorated with paste of the same pretensions as her genuine diamond? She would not, without the superiority of her ornaments were fully acknowledged. This is the feeling that restrains us froin publishing them at once, backed by the hope that we may be able to overcome the scruples of the author. May we succeed, and be able in April to tickle the public palate, not only with wholesome and excellent aliment-but with a name also.

MARCH OF HARRY THE FIFTH TO to men who have presided in our courts of

BY THE AUTHOR OF “RANDOM RECOLLECTIONS OF nightly pouring forth their eloquence within THE LORDS AND COMMONS."