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Courtier, pass on! greater is he than kings NONE THEIR END OBTAIN. Though old, and blind, and dimmed with
daily care: The miser has his anguishi,
Even then he heard the rush of angel wings; The inerchant weary pain,
Or ialked in Eden with the happy pair; The lover long doih languish,
Or, raised above all sublunary things,
Breathed in the heaven of heavens ambro
sial air. The toiling farmer soweih,
RICHARD HOWITT. The reaper reaps the grain: The traveller forward goeth
Yet none their end obiain.
The miser loves his money,
SOME REFLECTIONS UPON THIS NEW The lover-gall and honey
“ PLAGUE," THE “PLAGUE OF PA. For thus it is they fare.
BY THE EDITOR.
Yes, these “papers" have lately appeared
darkening the literary almosphere almost as All pay the life ihey borrow,
suddenly, and as numerously, as the “ plague For all that end obtain.
of locusis." All the periodicals now abound
with "these papers,' or “those papers," or They lie them down to slumber
the other papers," the last set of “papers'' Beneath the churchyard stone
being always more extravagant than those Wiih all the woes they number,
immediately preceding them. Of their brilTheir destiny unknown.
liancy, of their moral effi'ct, of their tendon.
cy to purify or elevate the public taste, we And what thus could they follow,
shall say nothing;-of their success, that those With such continual quest?
whom Shakspeare has ceased tu please, can What fiiting dream and hollow
still grin at the low absurdities of l’unch and Thus robbed them of their rest.
his helpmate: their utility however, we will laud,- for all kinds of purposes, mechanical
and domestic. Power, wealth, or love, or leisure,
But it is of no use to rail against a prevail. Alone could not be sought;
ing fashion. A wise man will not-he will Beyond must be some treasure,
adopt, and if he be able, improve it. Has any Some phantom of the thought.
oze fully and maturely con idered the termi.
nations of a modern fashionable dress.coat? They sought, thus truth confesscth, If the wearer would condescend for a short But, erring, failed to find,
time to stoop so far forwards as almost to go What heaven alone possesseih
upon all fours, and the tails of his coat were The calm and happy mind!
at all stiff, he would make no bad resemblance RICHARD HOwirt. of one of the most impudent of animals with.
out its wings, a St. James's Square cock-spar. row. Yet, notwithstanding the absurdity of this fashion, that has so long prevailed, what sensible man would think of strutting into a drawing-room tailless ? Not ourselves, certainly. We would neither try to pin them
up behind, nor draw them before us in the A SUPPOSED INCIDENT. manner of the wings of a saluting seraph, but
wear them, as all others do, fairly and decent* There was he often found sitting in the front of ly hanging behind us. Now, the genius of his house, in the morning sun, and enjoying the fresh literature (periodical of course) had, till lately, air,''-LIFE OF MILTON.
This own becoming costume. If he were in
his graver moods, he attired himself in the A BLIND old man, in simple, grave array, dignified robes of the Roman, Grecian, or Sat in the cheerful sun; when by there English muse; if in his gayer temper, he
would have on a tight fit, wiiba many.colored A youth, on bim disdainful looks who jacket. In this equipment he would leap you casi,
his fourteen yards with the freest air imagin. A courtier smooth, in courtly garments gay, lable. But these fashions have gone by; he Who pausing multered, in the public way, has become thoroughly cockney. The popu. * The wretch thou art who loudest blew ihe lar authors of the day have clapped tails to blast
his jacket. He steps along the metropolitan Of civil strife; and guerdon fil thou hast, Ipavement delicately, or, at best, but goes, for Left lonely thus to darkness and decay.” la short time, and but for a little way out of
town, makes sweet confusion with his w's and a book full of jests, a horror. A man of real y'g_fraternizes with ostlers, “and such small wit may, at times, condescend to be droll, but gear,” and is employed most of his time in what name would you give him that strove to Clapping vulgarity into a clean shirt, with a create a reputation by drudging at drollery! frill upon it. O these " papers," these “pa. I cannot, Mr. Editor, furnish you with papers pers!" these tales to our coats! We must similar to those which you require, at any get some, however.
price. Will you lunch ?" Full of these reflections, we rcpaired to the “ But the incognito ?" Not that we wished greatest literary character of the day. Truth. it—but the very contrary. We were smooth. Every author who reads this, will deny the ing our way. assertion, saying that he has no recollection “I could not preserve it-I should either of our calling upon him; and all other perwrite above the mark, and betray myself, and sons must know that this "greatest writer of that would not answer my purpose or below the day," must be one of about five or six who it, and betray my dulness, which would not have not yet given the world their “ papers." | unswer your purpose. Come, an anchovy Being full of our subject, though short of sandwich ?" tails, we asked him if he could not furnish us Seeing our friend so obstinate and so anti. with a pair for the metropolitan vestment. It thetical, we began to despair: no doubt, our was some time before he fully understood us, despondency was visible enough on our coun. and, when he did, he was somewhat offended, tenance, and we were about to retire with the asking us rather coolly, if we ever thought sorrowful conviction, that for the next numthat a genuine Yorick, “ who had set the table ber of the Magazine we should have nothing in a roar," could be, by any means, induced belter to offer the public than an olio of genu. to grin through a horse-collar for a gold-laced ine and various literature, both prose and hat, or if he wished to see so vile a degra- poetry, from some of the best living authors, dation.
when a smile mantled over the face of the We confess that this remark was hard up- distinguished writer, that gave us some faint on us, but we appeased him a little by say. indications of hope. ing, that as horse-collars were now become " It is singular,” said he, “ that this conthe vogue, we only requested him io lend us versation did not before call to my recollec. one to grin through, in common with oui con- tion, that I have by me some few papers temporaries, and that even the name of the documents I mean, that, by a little trouble on furnisher need never transpire. Seeing him your part, and some few alterations on mine, a little mollified, we thus proceeded. “Now, might answer your purpose." sir, name your own price-two guineas a All exultation, we hurriedly exclaimed, page--anything your papers,' my dear sir“ By yourself! by yourself! by the celebrat. - your papers.'"
ed author of-" 6 You are over eager, my good friend. Il “O no, no, no," he replied, with a most should not succeed."
Delphic shake of the head. Not succeed! In what quarter of Europe 1 “ Yes, yes," said we, "physically as well as of the civilized world, has not your eloquence morally, the man of the present day, though resounded, your pathos moved, and your wit bearing the sanje name, and claiming the delighted? You, who have wrestled with and same identity, is not the man of seven years overcome that many-armed giant, public past-but these papers, though you now re. opinion, cannot you catch me a cockchafer, nounce them," and we took them up and ca. stick a pin through it, and thus make a little ressed them lovingly, “yet you will edit them; innocent mirth for the entertainment of the we may tell the world in our title-pages and readers of funny papers ? For once put off in our advertisements—what are they called ! your Attic state, and clap tails to your coat. Ah, I see, Trismegistian Records, edited I'll answer for it, that, thus disguised, nobody by--" will kn.)w you. Now for your papers."
"I will by no means consent to it-decided. “ Indeed,” said the genius, rubbing his rath- ly not. To oblige you, I will make a few er long, thoughtful, and pleasing features with alterations in these records ; but my name his delicate forefioger. “ You half persuade must never appear in connection with them. me to become a paper-maker'—but what title Upon that understanding alone shall they should I give them ?"
| pass into your hands. Not a word. I am in. "Anything. Call them general papers, if exorable. Upon these conditions they are at you will. I know that if you make them up, your service." they will never become what those are with "Exalted as is your genius, I fear me, which we are about to contend, cornet papers. 'vithout your name, the service that they can The grocers will not benefit by them." do us will be but trifling."
But this compliment to the unborn gave " But may not these records be full of low birih to no agreeable sensations to him for humor, and practical jokes, and domestic whom it was made. After a longer silence drollery; and how know you that they are than was agreeable, he spoke to me with a deficient in slang?" decision that showed plainly that his resolu. “To parody Shakspeare, where the virtue tion was taken. “My good friend, this rage of a name is, all these but serve to make more for risible rascality, and vulgarity made hu- virtuous ;' but, without the gilding of a name, morous, cannot last. One jest is good, ten these best of attributes will but cause the consecutive jests tiresome, and a jest book, or \'Records' to be pronounced as shocking low.”'
" But really, the humor of these papers is į tactics of these would be distributors of renot low-as far as I can judge of it, it is dry, nown are different. If the author be so for. caustic, grotesque, and Quixotic, sometimes tunate as not to belong to any political party, misinthropical."
his critics will, in spite of him, class him in w We are eager for these • Records.' Though some particular school of writing, and thus, you disown them, probably they will not dis either as a politician or a littéraire, he will be own you. Some faint shadowings, perhaps, ultra-lauded by one set, and particularly well of the juvenile fevers of your own brain." " d- d by twenty others."*
" Come, come, Mr. Editor, though no one! Our highly-gifted friend winced at this recan accuse you of riding a high horse, you mark, as if he felt there was more truth in it ride a most marvellous swift one, and a good than he was willing to allow; for though he leaper too, for you jump at a most far-fetched now stands much too high for the peltings of conclusion. Speculate as you will, but be paltı y criticism, and that neither the “ stings silent. I will go through a few of ihe records or the arrows of outrageous weekly impo. to-morrow morning, but my name must not tence" can reach him, yet, in the early part appear; I tell you, sir, my name must not of his career, he was tolerably well « mob. appear."
bed;" which is the best expression that we ** I truly regret it-but-a delicate subject can use to describe the clamorous and vulgar -hum-ihe mention of the thirty-two guineas ordeal through which he had to pass. After a sheet was, you know, conditional; my a few pacings up and down the apartment, he duty to the proprietors-hah-but-as these stopped abruptly, and as abruptly exclaimed, records must appear anonymously—and yet, “ Pray, in what consists the power of these it seems absurd to mention such a thing, but contemptible assailants?" really, as such, had Shakspeare furnished the ". In iteration, iteration,' as Shakspeare poetry, Rabelais the wit, and Milton the dic. hath li, damnable iteration.' The Times,' tion-anonymously — you understand, they which is now so patriotically employing its would only be worth to us-about, about, a energies, knows the value of this engine. The penny a line-or a little under.”
drop of water and the stone. Bring but a "Ha, ha, ha! you could not have paid me poei's heart, or call it his reputation, which is a greater compliment. I now fully understand io him his heart of hearts, bring this but un. the value of my reputation. Don't let your der the dripping-stone of calculating, perseduty to your proprietors cause you any un- vering, and systematic abuse; and speak, easiness. As I will give these “ Records" no shades of a thousand worthies, and tell the value by lending them my name, I have no uniheeding world how soon your hearts right to expect to receive anything of value crumbled under the death-cold operation." from them.
“True, most true. Happy am I that, from " Anonymous as they must be, if two or station, circumstances, and other accidents, I three of the weekly prints, that plume them. soon removed myself from under it.” selves upon criticism, would abuse them, “ Among those accidents, enumerate exaltthey might then perhaps rise to be of some ed merit.” value."
Tu Well,” continued the author, “I shall w lodeed! Then if their abuse is so valu. shorıly be au fail at all the methods of spin. able, at what do you estimate their eulogy!" ning these dirty webs, though I confess, that
* That requires an explanatory answer. at present, I cannot see, as respects these There are two sorts of eulogy, and two sorts · Trismegistian Records,' how all these re. of abuse ; and of these four categories, one marks apply." only is truly of value to a literary production. “ You will find that they all converge to I do not say an author ; for the conductors of one point-and which point I hope I shall weekly scurrility will be valiant over a work, corry. I have shown you the effect of outra. and quail before a name. We will take the geous laudation, and iterated defamation. noxious qualities first. If an author have not We will now again speak of unknown authors previously a well-established reputation, un- and anonymous works, for these are the measured and outrageous praise will prove usual prey of the periodical press. Faint the worst infliction that he can smart under. abuse and faint praise, the staples of its criti. Even when a really good production is cism, is either of them highly injurious; and
sicklied o'er with the weekly slayer' of heb- the disgust that is excited by reading the domedal critical laudation, the poor thing vapid critique is generally extended to the much resembles a fly in a treacle-pot, it must unread work that is criticised. The unfortuclear itself of the pestilent sweets, ere it can nate reader endeavors to forget both as fast take a tolerable flight."
as he can." “No, no-this will never do. Panegyric “ Naturally, naturally-my most excellent cannot hurt a good work, and may, for a time, editor and writer of periodical critiques !" uphold even a bad one."
| “Not weekly ones; but we have yet to * You are deceived, my good sir. I could, touch upon the most amusing phase of the instanter, mention twenty tolerable books that whole ; that of violent and frantic'abuse have been first panegyrized into contempt, which is almost sure to render the author most and ultimately puffed into oblivion, by six- essential service." penny sanguine assurers of success. Mind, " Instance, instance-one inch of instance I speak only of first, or of anonymous pro is worth a mile of assertion." ductions. When the author is known, the “There is a furious radical weekly paper of great literary talent; honest, we think, in , by the *****, with an excellent work be principle, and of the most unswerving con- fore him, even the drift of which he could not, sistency, we are certain, but of a strange in. at first, understand ; and when, at leng n, af. firmity in its critical notices. Two of Cap- ter much labor, he began to catch a glimmer. tain Marryat's novels the reyiewer attached ing of the author's meaning, and found that it to this paper, disinissed with a brief, yet bit. was a treasure he could not appreciate, we ter and rancorous condemnation ; consequent. saw him growling a vulgar oath over it, and ly, yes, consequently, in some measure, they leave it to go and batten upon and praise th became universal favorites, not only in Eng. last new fashionable work by a lady of que land and America, but all over Europe, in the ty. The cur, the purse of gold, and the dead various continental languages.”
cat." “ But did not oth:rs abuse them too ?”
"The last image that you have conjured up “ Yes, others of the same stamp. It did is so revolting, that we must dispel it with an. them good, for every window in a street will other glass of wine. Now for the application be thrown up, and every go-sip will thrust of all this to the subject matter between us." her head out as far as she can, to get a glimpse “Simply this—that you should by atlachat the person whom the fools are hooting at. ing your name to these forthcominy Records, A very humorous spectacle is puzzled and hush all the small critics either into silence, angry ignorance.
or excite ihem into praise. Bec:iuse we may li is, indeed."
be strong, there is no heroism in offering our. “ We will relate to you a little anecdote selves to the stings of reptiles if we can avoid d-propos of this subject. We were one day them. Let us persuade you-attach your sauntering, in our usual lack-il-daisical man. name to them either as author or editor." ner, along the green sward that lined the high. We at first thought that we had made the road that led to a considerable market-town, impression upon the great man that we had when there came blowing and floundering wished. He begged for a little time to conalong it, upon a hard-trotting horse, a farmer, sider on the subject, said he would thiok of it very honest, I presume, and very careless; seriously, and we finally took our leave under for he neither noticed a yelping cur that was the persuasion that all we sought for would snapping at his horse's heels, or the fall of a be gained. heavy leathern bag from his own person. But these glorious anticipations were not The man was out of sight in a short time; 'to be realised. As, the next day, we were sitfor when we shouled after him, and the ting in our office in a pleasing reverie, and word purse' met his ears, he pushed his dwelling with a glow of satisfaction upon the steed into a harı gallop, in order to save that glories of our forthcoming advertisements, a which he had just lost.”
person brought to us the first portion of the “ Well, give us the moral of that, after the · Trismegistian Records," with it polite, but manner ot editors."
most peremptory letter from the auihor, that “ We can see in the farmer's action the if used, not the slighest allusion must be made corduct of the movement party; the faster to him. We have read this portion with the they go, the faster they leave all that is worth / greatest delight; but we dare not make use of preserving behind. But we ask pardon of it, and dread to return it. We must take an. your whiggery, and will get on with our anec. other month to think over the matter. dote. The leathern purse, well tied up, was. We assure our friends, that all we have on the ground, the owner and everybody else stated above, is substantially, and, for the out of sighi, excepting the cur. Ile seized it most part, literally true. It may, with appa. with his teeth, he touzled it, and scratched it, rent justice, be asked of us, “If you know and flung it about his head, and grew quite this. Records' to be good, why refuse, under furious upon the subject, and howled over it any circumstances, what is good to the pub. bitterly ; indeed, so fiery had become his ragi, lic?” To this we must answer-supposing that I dared not approach him. At last, after that a lads possessed a real brilliant of the many efforts, and a great expenditure of froth, greatest. y.lue, would she wear it at a party he so inuch loosened ihe string, that he got in which she was sure of meeting every other at its contents; and, when he found that they lady decorated with paste of the samo pre. were nothing but pure gold, he clipp'd his tensions as her genuine diamond ? She would tail between his legs, and ran dismayed to not, without the superiority of her ornaments the nearest ditch, where, a moment afier, we were fully acknowledged. This is the feel. saw him supremely happy over the carcase ing that restrains us froin publishing :hem at of a drowned cat."
once, backed by the hope that we may be able “ Well, another version of Æsop's fable of to overcome the scruples of the author. May the Cock and the Jewel.”
we succeed, and be able in April to tickle the “No-for in this ill-favored cur we saw the public palaie, not only with wholesome and type of the whole race of small critics. We excellent aliment but with a name also. pictured to ourselves one of them employed
MARCH OF HARRY THE FIFTH TOI to men who have presided in our courts of AGINCOURT,
law since the beginning of the present centu
ry, and shall only cursorily advert to such BY MRS. CRAWFORD.
even of them as have been, by some means
or other, brought prominently before the pub“Cheerly to sea; the signs of war advance: lic. I may just premise, that in the series of Ne king of England, if not king of France!" sketches of the “Bench and the Bar," which
I am now commencing, my observations and The trumpet sounds to arms!
anecdotes will be strictly original in every
instance in which there is nothing stated At glory's call,
which would imply any obligations to other Leave bower and hall,
authorities. And beauty's charms.
I do not know that I could begin with a From woman's pleading eye,
more appropriate name than that of Mr. From the social hearth,
Thomas, afterwards Lord ERSKINE. Mr. ErAnd the board of mirth,
skine was for many years without an equal We fly-we fly.
at the English Bar, and perhaps he has never,
taking all in all, had a superior, as counsel, By England's hallowed towers,
in our courts of law, He affords one of the By the sod that owns
many instances in the annals of the bar in Our fathers' bones,
which a man suddenly rises from obscurity France shall be ours !
into the full blaze of popularity. Until em.
ployed as counsel for a Captain Bailie, who That day shall never be,
was the defendant in an action before the When Britons quail
court, he was altogether unknown at the bar, To her ensign pale,
though he had been some short time called On land or sea.
to it. The effect which his speech on that By the God that hears me vow!
occasion produced, and the impression it By the crown I wear,
made even on the minds of attorneys, who And the brand I bear,
are not always remarkable for their appre. Proud France shall bow!
ciation of the loftiest order of eloquence, was
so great, that no fewer than thirty of these One cup before we go,
attornies put retainers into his hand before To the friend we prize,
he left the court. Indeed, I am inclined to And the maid whose eyes
think, from the accounts I have heard of the Look sweet in woe.
sensation his speech produced, though of
course there can be no means of ascertaining And one for England fill !
the thing exactly, that every attorney in While the world shall stand,
court, who had a disengaged case in hand, May her conquering hand
retained Mr. Erskine in it. This was about Grasp freedom still !
the year 1780. His fame as a barrister was so
completely established by this brilliant forenThe trumpet sounds to arms!
sic effort, that, in a few months afterwards, At glory's call,
he was chosen to appear at the bar of the Leave bower and hall,
House of Commons as counsel against a bill And beauty's charms !
of Lord North's, the object of which bill was to restore to the universities the monopoly in almanacs. Here, again, he made a speech, the brilliancy of which electrified the House
of Commons, though at that time some of THE BENCH AND THE BAR.* the most distinguished speakers who have
have ever adorned it, were in the habit of BY THE AUTHOR OF “RANDOM RECOLLECTIONS OF
nightly pouring forth their eloquence within THE LORDS AND COMMONS."
its walls. What added to Mr. Erskine's repu.
tation as an advocate, was the fact of the Bill CHAPTER II.-LATE JUDGES.
being lost by a large majority. His fortune
as a barrister was now made. He could not LORD ERSKINE-LORD ELLENBOROUGH MR. BA accept one half of the briefs that were offer. BOX GRAHAM-LORD TENTERDEN-LORD ELDON. ed to him. I have it from one who had it
from his own lips, that his practice averaged LET not my readers be alarmed. I am not annually sixteen thousand pounds for many about to give such a latitude of interpretation years afterwards. He appeared in every to the word “late," as will take them back to case of importance for the next quarter of a the days of Sir Thomas More, Lord Bacon, century, during which he practised as counthe Earl of Clarendon, Sir Matthew Hale, or sel, before his elevation to the Bench; but indeed to any of those other distinguished the case in which, of all others, he most disjudicial characters who flourished at much tinguished himself, was that of Mr. Thelwall, more recent periods. I shall confine myself Mr. Horne Tooke, Mr. Hardy, and, I believe,
nine others, all arraigned for high treason. * Continued from p. 115.
This was in 1794. Mr. Thelwall, who, I VOL. 111.