Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, Vio. I know of none: Nor know I you by voice, or any feature Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, Ant. O heavens themselves! 2 Off. Come, Sir, I pray you, go. Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here, I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death; mise Most venerable worth, did I devotion. 1 Off. What's that to us? The time goes by; away. Ant. But oh! how vile an idol god! proves this Thou bast, Sebastian, done good feature shame. Ant. Lead me on. [Ereunt OFFICERS, with ANTONIO. Vio. Methinks, his words do from such passion fly, That he believes himself; so do not I. Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws. Vio. He nam'd Sebastian; I my brother Yet living in my glass;+ even such, and so, [Exit. Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears, in leaving his friend here in necessity,, and denying him; and for bis cowardship, ask Fabian. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it. Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat Seb. I pr'ythee, vent thy folly somewhere [else; Thou know'st not me. Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great inan, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney.-I pr'ythee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady; Shall I vent to her, that thou art coming? Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish Greek, + depart from me; There's money for thee; if you tarry longer, Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand :These wise men, that give fools money, get themselves a good report after fourteen years' purchase. Enter Sir ANDREW, Sir TOBY, and FABIAN. Seb. Why, there's for Are all the people mad? [Beating Sir ANDREW. Sir To. Hold, Sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house. Clo. This will I tell my lady straight; I would not be in some of your coats for two pence. [Exit CLOWN. [Holding SEBASTIAN. Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. Sir To. Come on, Sir; hold. Seb. Let go thy hand. Sir To. Come, Sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on. Seb. I will be free from thee. What would'st thou now? If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword. [Draws. Sir To. What, what? Nay then I must have an [Draws. ounce or two of this malapert blood from you. Sir To. Madam? Oli. Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Fit for the mountains, and the barbarous caves, Where manners ne'er were preach'd! out of my sight! Be not offended, dear Cesario :—— Rudesby, be gone 1-1 pr'ythee, gentle friend, Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway Do not deny: Beshrew his soul for me, stream? Or I am mad, or else this is a dream :- Seb. Madam, I will. • Let out. [Exeunt. + A term for bawd or pandar a brothel was called Coriath: its frequenters, Corinthians. Made up. : Rude fellow. Violence. ¶ lil betide. SCENE II-A Room in OLIVIA's House. Enter MARIA and CLOWN. I am Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this beard; make him believe, thou art Sir Topas the curate; do it quickly: I'll call Sir Toby the whilst. [Exit MARIA. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. not fat enough to become the function well; nor lean enough to be thought a good student; but to be said, an honest man and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitors enter. Enter Sir TOBY BELCH and MARIA. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson. Clo. Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is so 1, being master parson, am master parsou; For what is that, but that? and is, but is ? Sir To. To him, Sir Topas. Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good kuave. Mal. [In an inner chamber.] Who calls there ? Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic. Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideons darkness. Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Satban! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: Say'st thou, that house is dark? Mal. As hell, Sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad, Sir Topas; I say to you, the house is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say there is no darkness, but ignorance! in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and say there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question. Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-foul? Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, Sir To. My most exquisite Sir Topas ! Clo. Nay, I am for all waters. || Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard, and gown; be sees thee not. Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would, we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I Clo. Master Malvolio ! Mal. Ay, good fool. Clo. Alas, Sir, how fell you besides your fire wits? • Mal. Fool, there was never man so motoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. Mal. They have here propertied me, + keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clo. Advise you what you say, the minister is here.-Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. Mal. Sir Topas, Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow.-Who, I, Sir? not I, Sir. God b’wi'you, good Sir Topas.-Marry, amen.-I will, Sir, I will. What say you, Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say,Clo. Alas, Sir, be patient. Sir? I am shent for speaking to you. Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as weil in my wits, as any man in Illyria. Clo. Well-a-day,-that you were, Sir ! Mal. By this hand, I am : Good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit ? Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink. Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I pr'ythee, begone. • Senses. + Taken possession of. ✰ Scolded, reprimanded. A buffoon character in the old plays, and father o the meuera barlequin. Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; I could not find him at the Elephant : That he did range the town to seek me out. sense, Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, Sir, Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double-dealer; there's another. Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the me triplex, Sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St. Bennet, Sir, may put you in mind; One, two, three. That this inay be some error, but no madness, Take, and give back, affairs, and their despatch, As, I perceive, she does: there's something in't, Enter OLIVIA and a PRIEST. Oli. Blame not this haste of mine if you mean Now go with me, and with this holy man, you; And, having sworn truth, ever will be true. That they may fairly note this act of mine! ACT V. [Exeunt. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw: if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further. Clo. Marry, Sir, lullaby to your bounty, till Enter ANTONIO and OFFICERS. cue me. Duke. That face of his I do remember well;' 1 Off. Orsino, this is that Antonio, And this is he, that did the Tiger board, SCENE 1.-A Street before OLIVIA's House. In private brabble did we apprehend him. Clo. Do not desire to see this letter. Vio. He did me kindness, Sir: drew on my side; But in conclusion, put strange speech upon me, I know not what 'twas, but distraction. mercies, Whom thou in terms so bloody and so dear, Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recom- Hast made thine enemies? peuse, desire my dog again. Enter DUKE, VIOLA, and Attendants. Duke. Belong you to the lady Olivia, friends? Clo. Ay, Sir; we are some of her trappings. Duke. I know thee well: How dost thou, my good fellow ? Clo. Truly, Sir, the better for my foes, and the worse for my friends. Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy friends. Clo. No, Sir, the worse. Clo. Marry, Sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by my foes, Sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes. Ant. Orsino, noble Sir, Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you Antonio never yet was thief or pirate, parse, Which I had recommended to his use Duke. Why, this is excellent. Clo. By my troth, Sir, no; though it please Not half an hour before. you to be one of my friends. Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three months before, (No interim, not a minute's vacancy,) Enter OLIVIA and Attendants. Duke. Here comes the countess : now heaven walks on earth.- But for thee, fellow, fellow, thy words are madness: Three months this youth hath tended upon me; Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable ?- Duke. Gracious Olivia,- Oli. What do you say, Cesario ?——Good my lord,- Vio, My lord would speak, my duty hushes me. Oli. If it be aught to the old tune, my lord, It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear, As howling after music. Duke. Still so cruel? Oli. Still so constant, lord. Duke. What to perverseness? you uncivil lady, To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars My soul the faithfull'st offerings hath breath'd out, That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do? Oli. Even what it please my lord, that shall become him. Duke. Why should I not, bad I the heart to do it, Like to the Egyptian thief, at point of death, t Since you to non-regardance cast my faith, your Live you, the marble-breasted tyrant, still; But this your minion, whom, I know, you love, And whom, by heaven, I swear, I tender dearly, Him will tear out of that cruel eye,' I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love, To spite a raven's heart within a dove. Oli. Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear, That makes thee strangle thy propriety : • Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up; Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art welcome As great as that thou fear'st,-O father! Re-enter Attendant and PRIEST. Father, I charge thee, by thy reverence, Here to unfold (though lately we intended To keep in darkness, what occasion now Reveals before 'tis ripe,) what thou dost know, Hath newly past between this youth and me. Priest. A contract of eternal bond of love, Confirm'd by mutual joinder of your hands, Attested by the holy close of lips, Strengthen'd by interchangement of your rings; And all the ceremony of this compact Seal'd in my function, by my testimony: Since when, my watch hath told me, toward my grave, I have travell'd but two hours. Duke. O thou dissembling cub! what wilt thou be, When time hath sow'd a grizzle on thy case 1+ Hold little faith, though thou hast too much fear. Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK, with kis head broke. Sir And. For the love of God, a surgesa; send one presently to Sir Toby. Oli. What's the matter? Sir And. He has broke my bead across, and has given Sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too: for the love of God, your help: I had rather than forty pounds, I were at home. Oli. Who has done this, Sir Andrew ? Sir And. The count's gentleman, one Cesrio: we took him for a coward, but he's the very devil incardinate. Duke. My gentleman, Cesario! Sir And. Öd's lifelings here he is :-You broke my head for nothing; and that that I did, I was set on to do't by Sir Toby. Vio. Why do you speak to me? I never bart you: You drew your sword upon me, withest cause; But I bespake you fair, and hurt you not. [Going. Tio. And 1, most jocund, apt, and willingly, To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die. [Following. Oli. Where goes Cesario ? More than 1 love these eyes, more than my life. More, by all mores, than e'er I shall love wife; Duke. Come away. you [Exit an Attendant. [TO VIOLA. Oli. Whither my lord?-Cesario, husband, stay. Sir And. If a bloody coxcomb be a burt, you have hurt me; I think, you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb. Enter Sir TOBY BELCH, drunk, led by the you ? Duke. How now, gentlemen? how ist with, Sir To. That's all one; be has hurt me, and there's the end on't.-Sot, did'st see Dick sargeon, sot? Clo. O he's drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone ; his eyes were set at eight i'the morning. Sir To. Then he's a rogue. After a pasermeasure, or a pavin, I bate a drunken rogüe. Oli. Away with him: Who hath made this bavoc with them? Sir And. I'll help you, Sir Toby, because we'll be dress'd together. Sir To. Will you help an ass-head, and a • Disown thy property. + Skin. 1 Otherways The passamezzo was a favourite air and dance in Elizabeth's time. ་ WILL coxcomb, and a knave? a thin-faced knave, a guli? to. Oli. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd [Exeunt CLOWN, Sir TCBY, and Sir AN- Enter SEBASTIAN. Seb. I am sorry, madain, I have hurt your But had it been the brother of my blood, Duke. One face, one voice, one habit, A natural perspective, that is, and is not. How have the hours rack'd and tortur'd me, Ant. Sebastian are you? Seb. Fear'st thou that, Antonio ? And all And all those swearings keep as true in soul, Duke. Give me thy hand; And let me see thee in thy woman's weeds. Hath my maid's garments; he, upon some Is now in durance; at Malvolio's suit, Oli. He shall eularge him :-Fetch Malvolio And yet, alas, now I remember me, and They say, poor gentleman, he's much distract. A most extracting frenzy of mine own Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the stave's end, as well as a man in his case may Ant. How have you made division of your-do: he has here writ a letter to you, I should self? An apple, cleft in two, is not more twin Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian? Seb. Do I stand there? I never had a bro- Nor can there be that deity in my nature, Of charity, what kin are you to me? de [TO VIOLA. What countryman? what name? what parentage ? Vio. Of Messaline: Sebastian was my father; Such a Sebastian was my brother too, Seb. A spirit I am, indeed; Vio. My father had a mole upon his brow. Vio. And died that day when Viola from her birth Had number'd thirteen years. Seb. O that record is lively in my soul Vio. If nothing lets to make us happy both, help I was preserv'd, to serve this noble count: Look: But nature to her bias drew in that. If this be so, as yet the glass seems true, Thou never should'st love woman like to me. • Out of charity tell me. have given it you to-day morning; but as a Clo. Look then to be well edified, when the fool delivers the madman:-By the lord, madam. Oti. How now! art thou mad! Clo. No, madam, I do but read madness: an your ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must allow vor. Oli. Pr'ythee, read i'thy right wits. Clo. So I do, madouna; but to read his right wits, is to read thus: therefore perpend, tiny princess, and give ear. you Oli. Read it, you sirrah. [To FABIAN. Fab. [Reads.] By the Lord, madam, wrong me, and the world shall know it: though you have put me into dar ness, and given your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship I have your own letter that induced me to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to do myself much Think of me as right, or you much shame. you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of, and speak out of my injury. The madly-us'd MALVOLIO. Oli. Did he write this? your offer. Your master quits you: [To VIOLA.] and, for So much against the mettle 1 of your sex, Oli. A sister? you are she. Re-enter FABIAN, with MALVOLIO. Mal. Madam, you have done me wrong, [To VIOLA. |