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Marie, captivated at luomieuts be going to laugh, he was so grave by his eyes and his voice, eager and tender.” And again : "Truly at the thought of becoming a it was delicious, that moment, for cardinal's niece, of shining in he remained motionless as I was, society, of mixing in politics, and without speaking a word.” Marie just warmed her hands at And in close couuection with his Haine, and, deceived by the these sentences come others, like reflecteil heat, imagined for a time the following : "No, it is not real that she too lored. She was de- love. In real love nothing trito ceived, as so often happens, and or commou could be said.” Or as she herself acknowledges later again : “This tutoiement made me on, by the pleasure which every shudder, and seemed humiliating; woman feels in being loved and and lastly, in words which reveal allmired. Yet she did not yield the whole of her analytical soul : eren to this substitute for true “ Did I love him really, or was I love without characteristic only excited ? (avais - je la tête struggle between her romanticism montée ?) Who could rightly and cold distrust. "I should be say? Nevertheless, from the mont the height of happiness if I went the donbt existsthere is no believed him," she says after the doubt." Some months later on, incident of the runaway horse; she sums up: “I only loved his " but I doubt, notwithstanding his love for ine. But as I am incapfrank, pleasant, even naïf manner. able of meanness in love, I loved, This comes of being a canaille one's and felt as though I loved, myself. Still it is better so."

self, It was excitement (exaltaShe began to doubt the reality tion), fanaticism, short-sightedness, of her feelings at a moment char- stupidity, yes, stupidity.” So ncteristic of her ardour and fancy. spoke her reason, but feelings are. Absence had but heated her. At not so easily subdued. The subNaples she longed for him contin- ject continued to preoccupy her ually; from Nice she returned sud- strongly; her thoughts continued denly to Rome with her aunt to to turn tu him in moments of see him ; but with the first kiss fatigue or depression. In Paris began the process of disillusion. we find her in her usual impetuous She had treated him with an as manner consulting a somn'mbulist sumption of dignity which to an concerning his wherenbouts and onlooker must have been ludi- his feelings. Told that he was cious; had given him her hand to married. “Once in my room I kiss, or in moments of special could reason no longer.

I kindness the

round her threw myself on the ground, stupeneck. On her return to Rome fied and miserable,” yet not from the second time, she arranges à love, but at a curious regret at romantic meeting to talk over their her inability to love. “Oh, what future (for which, with her char- horror to think one loves and then acteristic conmon-sense incongru- not be able to do so! for I cannot ity, she at the same time refers love such a man as he is - an him to her parents), and experi- almost ignorant being, a feeble, ences a curious mixture of plea- dependent being. I feel no love sure and discontent.

" Je me

at all, only ennui.” sentais si bien !” she says.

Marie had received one of the this, then, love? Is it serious ? It hardest lessons of her life. She always seemed to me that he must had been brought face to face with


46 Is



facts and forces of existence which girl who prided herself on her we all imagine we realise and ex- purity; whom, as we more pect until we come into actual than once, every breath of calcontact with them, are conquered umny throws into a fever of disby them, and deceive ourselves gust." “Then," she says


on, with the assurance that next time " when I went down to speak to we shall resign ourselves without him on the eve of our departure, a struggle. Love? Marie certainly he saw in my action only an amothought she understood it. She rous rendezvous. When I leant certainly thought she had intel on his arm, he trembled only with lectually mingled the modesty, desire. When I looked at him bashfulness, and passion which go serious, inspired like an ancient to its composition in the propor- prophetess, he saw nothing but a tions due to their relative import woman and a rendezvous.". The ance; and yet, like all pure-mind- thought of the rendezvous tortures ed girls who merely speculate on her; she prays with tears that she this subject, she was quite incap- may forget it; her lips seem to able of realising the intellectual have turned black since the kiss, consequences of the passion she of which he had so little underimagined she understood, — the stood the value. “I advise all man's perfectly natural but essen young women to be more tially incorrect extension of his ailles at the bottom of their feelings to the woman, the impu- souls,” she exclaims bitterly. To tation of them in like intensity to a sensitive girl's mind, surely no her, on the plea that she too is a revelation could be a greater shock human being

than the one Marie had just re“Tell me how


ceived ! have loved ?” says Pietro to Marie, There was, however, another, and on the occasion of the above-men perhaps even more important eletioned meeting.

ment of education in this painful “Once," answers Marie, and re affair. counts her romantic attachment, to “ You will never love me," said the duke. Whereupon Pietro looks Pietro, one day. “ incredulous and disdainful.”

“ When you are free.” “ But that is not all ? there is " When I am dead !” ejaculated something else ? "

Pietro, bitterly. “ That is all."

"I cannot at present, for I pity “ Pardon me, and allow me not

and despise you. to believe you this time.” (“See “If they told you not to love what depravity !”, interjaculates me, you would obey.” Marie.) “I cannot."

Perhaps." “ Tant pis /” cries Marie, vexed. " It is dreadful !”

" That is beyond my compre Marie, independent, accustomed hension,” resumes Pietro.

to originate and carry out her “ You must be depraved in plans without encountering any deed ! ”

obstacles worth the name, here “Perhaps."

found herself face to face, for the " You do not lieve that no first time in her life, with a deone has ever kissed


hand ?" pendent being-and a being de“Pardon me, I do not believe pendent on a mysterious force, it."

impassible, slow-moving, and sure. A hard awakening this for a She, who treated parents ad

grand-parents as her equals, who I will ask my mother, who will considered herself mistress of her speak to my father about it.” own destinies, was suddenly con Needless to say the money was fronted with the extraordinarily not granted, and Marie's plan failclose organisation of an Italian ed. Marie was helpless against family-with that medieval gens- this cold hostility, this paralysis like association, in which the af- of independent action. “This abfairs of one are the affairs of all solute dependence freezes me," she who bear the same name, and are says; “if they forbade him to love settled for him by his elders,– me he would obey, I am certain.” with that curious union of élan She was right. After that meetand want of vigorous initiative ing on the eve of her departure which seems the modern outcome from Rome, she never

saw hun in Italy of centuries of youthful again. He wrote once or twice, dependence.

despairing letters it would seem ; This Pietro was the nephew of but appears ultimately to have a well-known cardinal. His youth- rendered the inevitable obedience. ful excesses had produced a ten- Marie, with an indescribable mixsion in the family. Now, at twenty- ture of rage and woundeil pride, four, he had promised reform, and owned herself beaten for the first was trying to regain the favour of time in her life. his clerical uncle, when he fell in Braced by the conflict with love with Marie. Naturally the superior powers, deepened and cardinal objected that the nephew, widened by close contact with of whom he hoped to make use to another human being, Marie, now increase his political weight, should sixteen years of age, faced a diffimarry a Russian of the Greek culty from which many an okler Church, and joined his influence person would have shrunk. This to that of Pietro's father, mother, was nothing less than a journey to brother, and sisters to prevent the Russia to win the affections of the natch. Virtually Marie was fight- father from whom she had been ing against the Ronian Catholic separated since she was less than Church, and the contest was what two; to break, alone and unknown one might expect from such com as she was, the hostile influence batants : eager and nervous on the exerted over him for years by luis girl's part – her woundled pride family, and to persuaıle him to making her often forget the slight rejoin his wife and establish him. ness of her affections ; calmıly vic- self abroad for the winter to help torious on the part of Pietro's in the task of providing a suitable family. At one time Marie finds future for his daughter. He was him spirited off for seventeen days a man of evil disposition, Marie to a convent to do penance.

She was told; haughty, sarcastic, desees him in a cab.

lighting to humiliate those with Why don't you have a car whom he came in contact. She

determined, then, to fight him “My family won't give me the with his own weapons; to make money."

him fear her wit, while she forced “ Follow me to Nice,” she says him to respect her character and more than once, anxious to with- admire her person ; appealing to draw him from these hostile influ- his vanity, by showing herself to ences.

the greatest possible advantage in "I can't, I have no money; but the society he habitually frequent

riage ?

ed. Such was the task before the gave the sigual, and for the first time girl, and which she had set herself, in my life I found myself alone! I as she parted from her mother, for began to cry aloud: but if you think, the first time in her life, to travel I drew no profit from my tears ! with her aunt to the Russian fron

I made a study from Nature of the

art of weeping." tier, and make her solitary entry into the hostile atmosphere of her

No traces of weakness could be father's family.

discovered, however, when she met In the parting with her mother her uncle at Wirballen, nor when, and grandfather, we catch the first at Poltawa, she first saw her father. note of the softened strain which She had taken her stand from the makes itself heard more and more

first; had been servod like a prindecidedly as life advances. She

cess. The report of her beauty, begins to realise something of the wit, gaiety, and exactingness had value of that fathomless devotion already reached her father, who which she has hitherto accepted as

was in a state of much excitement her right.

between desire to see her, fear that

she would refuse to go to his house, “Mamma has been weeping my

and nervousness as to the result of future absence for the last three

the first interview. The meeting, days; I have been sweet and tender

, with her therefore. The affections

as Marie describes it, sets the man of husbands, lovers, friends, children, at once clearly before us. go and come, for all these may exist twice. But there is only one mother, arrived at Poltawa. No one at the

“This morning at six o'clock we and a mother is the only being whose love is disinterested. devoted, write the following letter; brusquerie

station. On reaching the hotel, I and eternal. I felt all that for the

often succeeds :first time, perhaps, as I said good-bye to her. And how I laughed at the “I reach Poltawa and find not even loves of H., L., A., P., and what small a carriage. Come immediately, I matters they seemed to me! Nothings. expect you at mid-day. Truly this is Grandpapa was moved to tears. Be no fitting reception. sides, there is something solemn in an

MARIE BASHKIRTSEFF.' old man's good-bye. He blessed me, The letter had hardly been sent when and gave me an image of the Holy Virgin. I adopted, as usual, I threw myself into his arms with a

my father rushed into the room, and my most joyful manner at parting, noble slowness. He was visibly satisnevertheless, I was truly sad." Mamma did not cry, but I felt she was so

fied with my appearance, for his first

care was to examine me in a kind of unhappy thut a flood of regrets came over ne, as I felt how hard I had

“How big you are! I did not often been with her.”

expect it; and pretty: yes, yes, very It is the first touch of chastened good, really. feeling, rendered possible, we may out even a carriage! Have

« This is how I am received; with


had well believe, by the education of


letter ?' the last few months.

“No; but I have just received the Through Paris she reaches Eydt- telegram, and rushed here. I hoped kühnen, and leaves her aunt, to to arrive for the train. I am covered launch forth into the unknown.

with dust. To come quicker I got

into E.'s troika' The parting is characteristic.

And I wrote you a charming “At midnight I got into the train ; letter.' my aunt was weeping; I kept my “Like your last telegram ?' eyes high and immovable, that they

6 • Almost.' might not overflow. The conductor “Very good ; yes, very good.'





“ 'I am like that; I must be waited « Now,' said he, 'sit up.' on.'

"'A cloak then, for I shall be cold.' “Like me ; but mind, I am as ca “ He wrapped me in his cloak, and pricious as a devil.'

I began to talk of Rome.” « And I two.

She talked to such good purpose ««You are used to have people run after you like little dogs.'

that it was 'not long before her “Ånd I must be run after ; with- father began seriously to entertain out that, nothing.'

the idea of requesting leave of ab“. Ah, no ! you won't get on with sence for the winter and establishme in that way.'

ing himself with Mario' at Rome or 6. You can take me or leave me.'

Nice; only, he asks during a later “But whytreat me as "father”? I am a bon vivant, a young man, there. interview, while he fidgets awk"Perfect, and so much the better.

wardly with Marie's brushes and “My father,” she says two days combs, will her mother-will her afterwards, " is a hard man, irritated mother make any objection to and crushed from infancy by the ter- living with him? Marie assures rible general his father. Scarcely him that her mother will do what was he free and rich than he launched is best for the daughter with whom out and half ruined himself. All her life is bound up; and her father puffed (boufi) up with vanity, and finishes by confessing that he is puerile pride, he prefers appearing a monster to showing what he feels, still in love with her mother, that especially if anything moves him; he was beside himself when they and in that he is like me."

separated her from him, and that It was just this fundamental re- (with much hesitation and many semblance between Marie and her blushes) he was afraid she might father which enabled her to treat have an unconquerable dislike to him successfully. For her plan him. Marie reassures him; and answered perfectly; his fatherly from thenceforth it is an undervanity was roused; his intelligence stood thing that he will, at any pleased ; his respect ensured by the rate, accompany her to Parish meet fearlessness of her opposition to her mother, and see what arrangehis attacks on her mother's family. ments can be made. The first quarrel on this head

Meanwhile another side of ended in a victory for Marie, and Marie's character, had been show

an earnest of the future. ing itself in her diary. During Little by little relations between the four months oft her stay in father and daughter grew more

Russia her object was to show herintimate ; there are even one or

self to the greatest possible advantwo touching scenes of such ex tage and captivate all with whom pansion as was possible between she came in contact. “I am far," two such natures.

she says, “from regretting my “We were hardly in the fields," thirty-one trunks. My father says Marie, describing one such

must be taken through his vanscene, "when my father suddenly ity;" and we have from time to asked me, 'Well, are we going to time descriptions of the toilets quarrel to-day too ?'

by which she astonished the "As much as you like.' " He took me brusquely in his conversational powers, displayed

natives. Her wide reading, her arms, wrapped me in his mantle, and without a trace of pedantry, exleant my head against his shoulder. And I shut my eyes ; that is my way

cited enthusiasm in a not overof being tender. We remained thus educated Russian provincial town; for several minutes,

her unusic (she played harp, violin,


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