Enter SCRUB in his breeches, and one shoe on. Scrub. Thieves! thieves! murder! popery! Arch. Ha! the very timorous stag will kill in rutting time. [Draws, and Offers to stab SCRUB. Scrub. [Kneeling] O pray, sir, spare all I have, and take my life. Mrs Sul. [Holding ARCHER's hand.] What does the fellow mean? Scrub. O, madam, down upon your knees, your marrow-bones-he's one of them. Mrs Sul. Of whom? Scrub. One of the rogues-I beg your pardon, one of the honest gentlemen that just now are broke into the house. Arch. How! Mrs Sul. I hope you did not come to rob me? Arch. Indeed I did, madam; but I would have taken nothing but what you might very well have spared; but your crying thieves has waked this dreaming fool, and so he takes them for granted. Scrub. Granted! 'tis granted, sir; take all we have. Mrs Sul. The fellow looks as if he were broke out of Bedlam. Scrub. Oons, madam, they are broke into the house with fire and sword; I saw them; heard them; they'll be here this minute. Arch. What? thieves? Scrub. Under favour, sir, I think so. Mrs Sul. What shall we do, sir? Arch. Madam, I wish your ladyship a good night. Mrs Sul. Will you leave me? Arch. Leave you! Lord, madam, did you not command me to be gone just now, upon pain of your immortal hatred? Mrs Sul. Nay, but pray, sir[Takes hold of him. Arch. Ha, ha, ha! now comes my turn to be ravished-You see, madam, you must use men one way or another: but take this by the way, good madam, that none but a fool will give you the benefit of his courage, unless you'll take his love along with it-How are they armed, friend? Scrub. With sword and pistol, sir. Scrub. Eh? my dear brother, let me kiss thee! [Kisses ARCH. Arch. This way-Here— [ARCH. and SCRUB hide behind the bed. Enter GIBBET, with a dark lanthorn in one hand, and a pistol in the other. Gib. Ay, ay, this is the chamber, and the lady alone. Mrs Sul. Who are you, sir! What would you have? D'ye come to rob me? Gib. Rob you! Alack-a-day, madam, I'm only a younger brother, madam; and so, madam, if you make a noise, I'll shoot you through the head. But don't be afraid, madan. [Laying his lanthorn and pistol upon the table.] These rings, madam; don't be concerned, madam; I have a profound respect for you, madam; your keys, madam; don't be frighted, madam ; I'm the most of a gentleman [Searching her pockets.] This necklace, madam; I never was rude to any lady! I have a veneration-for this necklace [Here ARCHER, having come round, and seized the pistol, takes GIBBET by the collar, trips up his heels, and claps the pistol to his breast.] Arch. Hold, profane villain, and take the reward of thy sacrilege! Gib. Oh! pray, sir, don't kill me; I an't prepared. Arch. How many are there of them, Scrub? Arch. Then I must kill the villain, to have him out of the way. Gib. Hold! hold, sir! we are but three, upon my honour. Arch. Scrub, will you undertake to secure him? Scrub. Not I, sir! kill him, kill him! Arch. Run to Gipsey's chamber, there you'll find the doctor; bring him hither presently. [Exit SCRUB, running. Come, rogue, if you have a short prayer, say it. Gib. Sir, I have no prayer at all; the government has provided a chaplain to say prayers for us on these occasions. Mrs Sul. Pray, sir, don't kill him—you fright me as much as him. Arch. The dog shall die, madam, for being the occasion of my disappointment-Sirrah, this mo Arch. Hush!-I see a dark lanthorn coming through the gallery-Madam, be assured I willment is your last. protect you, or lose my life. Mrs Sul. Your life! No, sir, they can rob me of nothing that I value half so much; therefore, now, sir, let me intreat you to be gone. Arch. No, madam, I'll consult my own safety for the sake of yours; I'll work by stratagem. Have you courage enough to stand the appearance of them? Mrs Sul. Yes, yes, since I have escaped your hands, I can face any thing. Arch. Come hither, brother Scrub; don't you know me? Gib. Sir, I'll give you two hundred pounds to spare my life. Arch. Have you no more, rascal? Gib. Yes, sir, I can command four hundred; but I must reserve two of them to save my life at the sessions. Enter SCRUB and FOIGARD. Arch. Here, doctor; I suppose Scrub and you, between you, may manage him. Lay hold of him. [FOIG. lays hold of GIB. Gib. What! turned over to the priest already! -Look'e, doctor, you come before your time; I an't condemned yet, I thank ye. Foig. Come, my dear joy; I vil secure your body and your shoul, too; I vil make you a good Catholic, and give you an absolution.. Gib. Absolution! Can you procure me a pardon, doctor? Foig. No, joy. Gib. Then you and your absolution the devil. may go to Arch. Convey him into the cellar: there bind him take the pistol, and, if he offers to resist, shoot him through the head-and come back to us with all the speed you can. Scrub. Ay, ay; come, doctor, do you hold him fast, and I'll guard him. [Exeunt. Mrs Sul. But how came the doctor? Arch. In short, madam-[Shrieking without.] 'Sdeath the rogues are at work with the other ladies; I'm vexed I parted with the pistol; but I must fly to their assistance-Will you stay here, madam, or venture yourself with me? Mrs Sul. Oh, dear sir, with you. [Takes him by the arm, and exeunt. SCENE III.-Changes to another apartment in the house. Enter ARCHER and MRS SULLEN. Arch. Hold, hold, my lord! every man his bird, pray. [They engage man to man; the rogues are thrown down, and disarmed.] Shall we kill the rogues? ter. Aim. No, no, we'll bind them. Arch. Ay, ay; here, madam, lend me your gar[To MRS SULLEN, who stands by him. Mrs Sul. The devil's in this fellow; he fights, loves, and banters, all in a breath. Here's a cord, that the rogues brought with them, I suppose. Arch. Right, right; the rogue's destiny; a rope to hang himself-Come, come, my lord, this is but a scandalous sort of an office. [Binding the rogues together.] If our adventures should end in this sort of hangman work-but I hope there is something in prospect that Enter SCRUB. Well, Scrub, have you secured your Tartar? Scrub. Yes, sir, I left the priest and him disputing about religion. Aim. And pray, carry these gentlemen to reap the benefit of the controversy. [Delivers the prisoners to SCRUB, who leads them out. Mrs Sul. Pray, sister, how came my lord here? Dor. And, pray, how came that gentleman here? Mrs Sul. I'll tell you the greatest piece of villainy. [They talk apart. Aim. I fancy, Archer, you have been more successful in your adventures than the housebreakers. Arch. No matter for my adventure, yours is the principal-Press her this minute to marry you-now while she's hurried between the palpitation of her fear, and the joy of her deliverance; now while the tide of her spirits is at high flood— throw yourself at her feet, speak some romantic nonsense or other confound her senses, bear down her reason, and away with her-The priest is now in the cellar, and dares not refuse to do the work. Aim. But how shall I get off without being observed? Arch. You a lover, and not find a way to get off! Let me see. Aim. You bleed, Archer. Arch. 'Sdeath, I'm glad on't; this wound will do the business. I'll amuse the old lady and Mrs Sullen, about dressing my wound, while you carry off Dorinda. Enter LADY BOUNTIFUL. Lady Boun. Gentlemen, could we understand how you would be gratified for the services Arch. Come, come, my lady, this is no time for compliments; I'm wounded, madam. Lady Boun. and Mrs Sul. How, wounded! [Makes love in dumb shew. Lady Boun. Let me see your arm, sir-I must have some powder-sugar to stop the bloodO me!-an ugly gash; upon my word, sir, yo must go to bed. Arch. Ay, my lady, a bed would do very well -Madam [To MRS SULLEN] will you do me the favour to conduct me to a chamber. Lady Boun. Do, do, daughter, while I get the lint, and the probe, and the plaster ready. [Runs out one way, AIM. carries off DoR. another.] Arch. Come, madam, why don't you obey your mother's commands? Mrs Sul. How can you, after what is past, have the confidence to ask me? Arch. And, if you go to that, how can you, after what is past, have the confidence to deny me?-Was not this blood shed in your defence, and my life exposed for your protection? Look'e, madam, I'm none of your romantic fools that fight giants and monsters for nothing; my valour is downright Swiss; I am a soldier of fortune, and must be paid. Mrs Sul. Tis ungenerous in you, sir, to upbraid me with your services. Arch. 'Tis ungenerous in you, madam, not to reward them. Mrs Sul. How! at the expence of my honour? Arch. Honour! Can honour consist with ingratitude? If you would deal like a woman of honour, do like a man of honour. D'ye think I would deny you in such a case? Enter GIPSEY. Gip. Madam, my lady ordered me to tell you, that your brother is below at the gate. Mrs Sul. My brother! Heavens be praised! -Sir, he shall thank you for your services; he has it in his power. Arch. Who is your brother, madam? Mrs Sul. Sir Charles Freeman. You'll excuse me, sir; I must go and receive him. [Exit MRS SUL. Arch. Sir Charles Freeman! 'Sdeath and hell! my old acquaintance. Now, unless Aimwell has made good use of his time, all our fair machine goes souse into the sea like the Edistone. [Exit. SCENE IV.-Changes to the gallery in the same house. Enter AIMWELL and DORINDA. Dor. Well, well, my lord, you have conquered. Your late generous action will, I hope, plead for my easy yielding; though, I must own, your lordship had a friend in the fort before. Aim. The sweets of Hybla dwell upon her tongue-Here, doctor Enter FOIGARD, with a book. Foig. Are you prepared, bote? Dor. I'm ready: but first, my lord, one wordI have a frightful example of a hasty marriage in my own family; when I reflect upon't, it shocks me. Pray, my lord, consider a littleAim. Consider! Do you doubt my honour, or my love? Dor. Neither. I do believe you equally just as brave-And were your whole sex drawn out for me to choose, I should not cast a look upon the multitude, if you were absent--But, my lord, I'm a woman: colours, concealments, may hide a thousand faults in me-Therefore, know me better first; I hardly dare affirm I know myself in any thing except iny love. Aim. Such goodness who could injure? I find myself unequal to the task of villain. She has gained my soul, and made it honest like her own I cannot hurt her. [Aside.] Doctor, retire. [Exit FOIGARD.] Madam, behold your lover and your proselyte, and judge of my passion by my conversion-I'm all a lie, nor dare I give a fiction to your arms; I'm all a counterfeit, except my passion. Dor. Forbid it, Heaven! A counterfeit ! Aim. I am no lord, but a poor needy man, come with a mean and scandalous design, to prey upon your fortune--but the beauties of your mind and person have so won me from myself, that, like a trusty servant, I prefer the interest of my mistress to my own. Dor. Sure I have had the dream of some poor mariner: a sleeping image of a welcome port, and wake involved in storms-Pray, sir, who are you? Aim. Brother to the man whose title I usurped, but stranger to his honour or fortune. Dor. Matchless honesty!-Once I was proud, sir, of your wealth and title; but now, am prouder that you want it. Now I can shew my love was justly levelled, and had no aim but love. Doctor, come in. Enter FOIGARD at one door, GIPSEY at another, who whispers Dorinda. Your pardon, sir; we sha'nt want you now, sir. You must excuse me-I'll wait on you presently. [Exit with GIPSEY. Foig. Upon my shoul, now, dis is foolish. [Exit. Aim. Gone! and bid the priest depart—It has an ominous look. Aim. I have discovered myself. Arch. Discovered! and without my consent! What! have I embarked my small remains in the same bottom with yours, and you dispose of all without my partnership? Aim. O, Archer, I own my fault. Arch. After conviction-Tis then too late for pardon-You may remember, Mr Aimwell, that you proposed this folly-As you begun, so end it-Henceforth, I'll hunt my fortune single. So farewell. Aim. Stay, my dear Archer, but a minute! Arch. Stay! What, to be despised, exposed, and laughed at! No, I would sooner change conditions with the worst of the rogues we just now bound, than bear one scornful smile from the proud knight that once I treated as my equal. Aim. What knight? Arch. Sir Charles Freeman, brother to the lady that I had almost-But no matter for that; 'tis a cursed night's work, and so I leave you to make the best on't. Aim. Freeman!--One word, Archer. Still I have hopes; methought, she received my confession with pleasure. Arch. 'Sdeath! who doubts it? Aim. She consented after to the match; and still I dare believe she will be just. Arch. To herself, I warrant her, as you should have been. Aim. By all my hopes, she comes, and smiling comes ! Enter DORINDA, mighty gay. Dor. Come, my dear lord-I fly with impapatience to your arms- -The minutes of my absence were a tedious year. Where's this priest? Enter FOIGARD. Arch. Oons, a brave girl! Dor. I suppose, my lord, this gentleman is privy to our affairs? Arch. Yes, yes, madam, I'm to be your father. Dor. Come, priest, do your office. Arch. Make haste, make haste; couple them any way. [Takes AIMWELL'S hand.] Come, madam, I'm to give you Dor. My mind's altered; I won't. Aim. I confounded. Foig. Upon my shoul, and so is myshelf. Arch. What's the matter now, madam? Dor. Look'e, sir, one generous action deserves another- -This gentleman's honour obliged him to hide nothing from me; my justice engages me to conceal nothing from him; in short, sir, you are the person that you thought you counterfeited; you are the true lord viscount Aimwell, and I wish your lordship joy. Now, priest, you may be gone; if my lord is now pleased with the match, let his lordship marry me in the face of the world. Aim. Archer, what does she mean? Enter SIR CHARLES and MRS SULLEN. Sir Cha. My dear lord Aimwell, I wish you joy. Aim. Of what? Sir Cha. Of your honour and estate. Your brother died the day before I left London; and all your friends have writ after you to Brussels; among the rest I did myself the honour. Arch. Hark'e, sir knight, don't you banter now? Sir Cha. 'Tis truth, upon my honour. Aim. Thanks to the pregnant stars that formed this accident. Arch. Thanks to the womb of time that brought it forth; away with it! Aim. Thanks to my guardian angel that led me to the prize [Taking DORINDA's hand. Arch. And double thanks to the noble sir Charles Freeman. My lord, I wish you joyMy lady, I wish you joy- Sdeath, I'm grown strangely airy upon this matter-My lord, how d'ye?-A word, my lord. Don't you remember something of a previous agreement that entitles me to the moiety of this lady's fortune, which, I think, will amount to ten thousand pounds! Aim. Not a penny, Archer. You would have cut my throat just now, because I would not deceive this lady. Arch. Ay, and I'll cut your throat still, if you should deceive her now. Aim. That's what I expect; and, to end the dispute, the lady's fortune is twenty thousand pounds; we'll divide stakes; take the twenty thousand pounds, or the lady! Dor. How! Is your lordship so indifferent? Arch. No, no, madam; his lordship knows very well that I'll take the money; I leave you to his lordship, and so we're both provided for. Enter FOIGARD. Foig. Arra fait, de people do say you be all robbed, joy. Aim. The ladies have been in some danger, sir, as you saw. Foig. Upon my shoul, our inn be robbed, too. Aim. Our inn! By whom? Foig. Upon my shalvation, our landlord has robbed himself, and run away wid de money. Arch. Robbed himself? Foig. Ay, fait! and me, too, of a hundred pounds! Arch. Robbed you of a hundred pounds! Arch. Rot the money, my wench is gone- Fel. I have a box here, and a letter, for him. Arch. [Taking the bor.] Ha, ha, ha! what's here? Legerdemain! By this light, my lord, our money again! But this unfolds the riddle. [Opening the letter, reads.] Hum, hum, hum-0, 'tis for the public good, and must be communicated to the company. 'MR MARTIN, My father, being afraid of an impeachment by the rogues that are taken to-night, is gone off; but if you can procure him a pardon, he'll 'make great discoveries, that may be useful to 'the country. Could I have met you, instead of your master, to-night, I would have delivered myself into your hands, with a sum that much 'exceeds that in your strong box, which I have sent you, with an assurance to my dear Martin, ' that I shall ever be his most faithful friend, till ' death, CHERRY BONIFACE. There's a billet-doux for you !——As for the father, I think he ought to be encouraged; and for the daughter-pray, my lord, persuade your bride to take her into her service instead of Gipsey. Aim. I can assure you, madam, your deliverance was owing to her discovery. Dor. Your command, my lord, will do without the obligation. I'll take care of her. Sir Cha. This good company meets opportunely in favour of a design I have in behalf of my unfortunate sister. I intend to part her from her husband-Gentlemen, will you assist me? Arch. Assist you! 'Sdeath, who would not? Foig. Ay; upon my shoul, we'll all ashist. Enter SULLEN. Sul. What's all this? They tell me, spouse, that you had like to have been robbed. Mrs Sul. Truly, spouse, I was pretty near it, had not these two gentlemen interposed. Sul. How came these gentlemen here? Mrs Sul. That's his way of returning thanks, you must know. Foig. Ay; but upon my conscience, de question be a-propos for all dat. Sir Cha. You promised last night, sir, that you would deliver your lady to me this morning, Sul. Humph. Arch. Humph! What do you mean by humph? -Sir, you shall deliver ber- -In short, sir, we have saved you and your family; and, if you are not civil, we'll unbind the rogues, join with them, and set fire to your house- -What does the man mean? Not part with his wife! Foig. Arra, not part wid your wife! Upon my shoul, de man dosh not understand common shivility. Mrs Sul. Hold, gentlemen; all things here must move by consent. Compulsion would spoil us. Let my dear and I talk the matter over, and you shall judge it between us. Sul. Let me know first, who are to be our judges. Pray, sir, who are you? Sir Cha. I am sir Charles Freeman, come to away your wife. take Sul. And you, good sir? Sir Cha. What are the bars to your mutual contentment? Mrs Sul. In the first place, I can't drink ale with him. Sul. Nor can I drink tea with her. Mrs Sul. Have we not been a perpetual offence to each other--a gnawing vulture at the heart? Sul. A frightful goblin to the sight? Mrs Sul. Is there on earth a thing we can agree in ? us Sul. Yes- -to part. Mrs Sul. With all my heart. Sul. Your hand. Mrs Sul. Here. Sul. These hands joined us, these shall part -Away Mrs Sul. East. Sul. West. Mrs Sul. North. Sul. South; far as the poles asunder. Aim. Thomas, viscount Aimwell, come to take my sister's fortune to make us easy. away your sister. Sul. And you, pray, sir? Arch. Francis Archer, esq. come Sul. To take away my mother, I hope-Gentlemen, you're heartily welcome. I never met with three more obliging people since I was born -And now, my dear, if you please, you shall have the first word. Arch. And the last, for five pounds. Sul. Rib. [Aside. Sul. Sir Charles, you love your sister, and I love her fortune: every one to his fancy. Arch. Then you won't refund? Sul. Not a stiver. Arch. What is her portion? Sir Cha. Twenty thousand pounds, sir. Arch. I'll pay it. My lord, I thank him, has enabled me, and, if the lady pleases, she shall go home with me. This night's adventure has proved strangely lucky to us all-For captain Gibbet, in his walk, has made bold, Mr Sullen, with your study and escritore, and has taken out all the writings of your estate, all the articles of marriage with your lady, bills, bonds, leases, receipts to an infinite value; I took them from him, and will deliver them to sir Charles. [Gives him a parcel of papers and parchments, Sul. How, my writings! my head aches consumedly. Well, gentlemen, you shall have her 3 T |