Зображення сторінки

fellow; I come among you as an officer, to list Plume. Give me thy hand, and now you and soldiers, not as a kidnapper, to steal slaves. I will travel the world o'er, and command it Cost. Mind that, Tummas.

wherever we tread--Bring your friend with you, Plume. I desire no man to go with me but as if you can.

[ Aside. I went myself; I went a volunteer, as you, or Cost. Well, Tummas, must we part? you may do; for a little time carried a musket, Tho No, Costar, I cannot leave thee-Come, and now I command a company.

captain, I'll e'en go along, too; and if you have Tho. Mind that, Costar. A sweet gentleman! two honester, simpler lads in your company, than

Plume. 'Tis true, gentlemen, I might take an we two have been, I'll say no more. advantage of you; the king's money was in your Plume. Here, my lad. (Gives him money.]pockets; my serjeant was ready to take his oath Now, your name? you were listed; but I scorn to do a base thing; Tho. Tummas Appletree. you are both of you at your liberty.

Plume. And yours? Cost. Thank you, noble captain !----'icod! Cost. Costar Pearmain. I can't find in my heart to leave him, he talks so Plume. Well said, Costar! Born where? finely.

Tho. Both in Herefordshire. Tho. Aye, Costar, would he always hold in Plume. Very well. Courage, my lads. this mind!

Now we'll – Sings.) Plume. Come, my lads, one thing more I'll tell you : you're both young tight fellows, and Over the hills and far away. the army is the place to make you men for ever: Courage, boys, it is one to ten every man has his lot, and you have yours : But we return all gentlemen : what think you of a purse of French gold out of While conquering colours we display, a monsieur's pocket, after you have dashed out

Over the hills and far away. his brains with the butt-end of


fire-lock? eh?

Kite, take care of them.

[Erit. Cost. Wauns! I'll have it. Captain-give me a shilling; I'll follow you to the end of the

Enter Kite. world. Tho. Nay, dear Costar! do'na : be advised. Kite. An't you a couple of pretty fellows,

Plume. Here, my hero; here are two guineas now! Here you have complained to the captain, for thee, as earnest of what I'll do farther for I am to be turned out, and one of you will thee.

be serjeant. Which of you is to have my halTho. Do’na take it; do'na, dear Costar!

berd? [Cries, and pulls back his arm. Both Rec. 1. 'Cost. I wull-I wull-Waunds!


mind Kite. So you shall--in your guts-March, you gives me that I shall be a captain myself- sons of whores! I take your money, sir, and now I am a gentle

[Beats them off



SCENE I.— The Market-place.

Wor. No!

Plume. No; I think myself above administerEnter Plume and WORTHY.

ing to the pride of any woman, were she worth Wor. I cannot forbear admiring the equality twelve thousand a-year, and I han’t the vanity to of our two fortunes: we love two ladies; they believe I shall gain a lady worth twelve hundred. meet us half way, and just as we were upon the The generous, good-natured Sylvia, in her smock, point of leaping into their arms, fortune drops in I admire; but the haughty and scornful Sylvia, their laps, priile possesses their hearts, a maggot with her fortune, I despise

--What! sneak out of fills their heads, madness takes them by the tails; town, and not so much as a word, a line, a comthey suort, kick up their heels, and away they pliment ! 'Sdeath! how far off does she live? I'll

go and break her windows. Plume. And leave us here to mourn upon the Wor. Ha, ha, ha! aye, and the window-bars, shore-a couple of poor melancholy monsters, too, to come at her. Come, come, friend; no What shall we do?

more of your rough military airs. Wor. I have a trick for mine; the letter, you know, and the fortune-teller,

Enter Kite. Plume. And I have a trick for mine.

Kite. Captain, captain ! Sir, look yonder, she's Wor. What ist?

a-coming this way.' 'Tis the prettiest, cleanest, Plume, I'll never think of her again.

little tit!



Plume. Now, Worthy, to shew you how much one of these hussars eať up a ravelin for his I'm in love-here she comes. But, Kite, what is breakfast, and aiterwards pick his teeth with a that great country-fellow with her?

palisado. Kite. I can't tell, sir.

Bul. Ay, you soldiers see very strange things ;

but pray, sir, what is a rabelin Enter Rose, followed by her brother BULLOCK,

Kite. Why, 'tis like a modern minced pie, but with chickens on her arm, in a basket.

the crust is confounded hard, and the plumbs Rose. Buy chickens, young and tender chick- are somewhat hard of digestion. ens, young and tender chickens.

Bul. Then your palisado- pray

what may

he Plume. Here, you chickens !

be? Come, Ruose, pray ha' done. Rose. Who calls?

Kite. Your palisado is a pretty sort of bodPlume. Come hither, pretty maid !

kin, about the thickness of my leg. Rose. Will you please to buy, sir?

Bul. That's a hib, I believe. [Aside.] Eh! Wor. Yes, child, we'll both buy.

where's Ruose? Ruose, Ruose! S'Aesh! where's Plume. Nay, Worthy, that's not fair; market Ruose gone ? for yourself- -Come, child, I'll buy all you Kite. She's gone with the captain. have.

Bul. The captain! wouns! there's no presRose. Then all I have is at


service. sing of women, sure.

Kite. But there is, sure.
Wor. Then must I shift for myself, I find. Bul. If the captain should press Ruose, I

[Exit Wor. should be ruined- -Which way went she? Plume. Let me see; young and tender you Oh! the devil take your rabelins and palisadoes! [Chucks her under the chin.

(Erit Bul. Rose. As ever you tasted in your life, sir. Kite. You shall be better acquainted with

Plume. Come, I must examine your basket to them, honest Bullock, or I shall miss of my aim. the bottom, my dear! Rose. Nay, for that matter, put in your hand;

Enter Worthy. feel, sir ; I warrant my ware is as good as any

in Wor. Why thou art the most useful fellow in the market.

nature to your captain; admirable in your way, I Plume. And I'll buy it all, child, were it ten find. times more.

Kite. Yes, sir, I understand my business, I Rose. I can furnish you.


it. Peume. Come, then, we won't quarrel about Wor. How came you so qualified ? the price; they're fine birds—Pray, what's your Kite. You must know, sir, I was born a gipsy, name, pretty creature ?

and bred among that crew, till I was ten years Rose. Rose, sir. My father is a farmer within old; there, I learned anting and lying: I was three short miles o' the town : we keep this mar- bought from my mother Cleopatra by a certain ket; I sell chickens, eggs, and butter, and my nobleman for three pistoles; there, I learned imbrother Bullock, there, sells corn.

pudence and pimping : I was turned off for Bul. Come, sister, haste; we shall be late wearing my lord's linen, and drinking my lady's home.

[Whistles about the stage. ratafia, and turned bailiff's follower ; there, Plume. Kite! [Tips him the wink, he returns I learned bullying and swearing : I at last got it.] Pretty Mrs Rose--you have; let me șee; into the army; and there, I learned whoring and how many?

drinking--so that if your worship pleases to Rose. A dozen, sir, and they are richly worth cast up the whole sum, viz. canting, lying, im

pudence, pimping, bullying, swearing, whoring, Bul. Come, Ruose; I sold fifty strake of bar- drinking, and a halberd, you will find the sum ley to-day in half this time; but you will higgle total amount to a recruiting serjeant. and higgle for a penny more than the commodity Wor. And pray, what induced you to turn is worth.

soldier? Rose. What's that to you, oaf? I can make Kite. Hunger and ambition. The fears of as much out of a groat as you can out of four starving, and hopes of a truncheon, led me along pence, I'm sure, The gentleman bids fair, and to a gentleman with a fair tongue, and fair periwhen I meet with a chapman I know how to wig, who loaded me with promises; but, 'gad, make the best of him—And so, sir, I say, for a it was the lightest load that ever I felt in my crown-piece, the bargain's yours.

life- -He promised to advance me, and inPlume. Here's a guinea, my dear!

deed he did so—to a garret in the Savoy. I Rose. I can't change your money, sir. asked him why he put me in prison ? he called

Plume. Indeed, indeed, but you can- my :ne lying dog, and said I was in garrison ; and lodging is hard by, chicken ! and we'll make indeed 'tis a garrison that may hold out till doomchange there. [Goes off, she follows him. sday before I should desire to take it again.

Kite. So, sir, as I was telling you, I have seen But here comes Justice Balance,

a crowd.


Wor. But I engage he knows you, and every

body, at first sight; his impudence were a proBal. Here you, serjeant, where's your captain? digy, were not his ignorance proportionable. He here's a poor foolish fellow' comes clamouring to has the most universal acquaintance of any man me with a complaint, that your captain has pres- living, for he won't be alone, and nobody will sed his sister. Do you know any thing of this keep him company twice: then he's a Cæsar matter, Worthy?

among the women- veni, vidi, vici, that's all. If Wor. Ha, ha, ha! I know his sister is gone he has but talked with the maid, he swears he with Plume to his lodging to sell him some has lain with the mistress : but the most surchickens.

prising part of his character is his memory, which Bal. Is that all ? the fellow's a fool.

is the most prodigious, and the most trifling, in Bul. I know that, an't like your worship; but the world. if your worship pleases to grant me a warrant to Bal. I have known another acquire so much bring her before your worship for fear of the by travel, as to tell you the names of most places worst.

in Europe, with their distances of miles, leagues, Bal. Thou’rt mad, fellow; thy sister's safe or hours, as punctually as a post-boy; but, for enough.

any thing else, as ignorant as the horse that carKite. I hope so, too.

[Aside. ries the mail. Wor, Hast thou no more sense, fellow, than Wor. This is your man, sir; add þut the trato believe, that the captain can list women? veller's privilege of lying, and even that he

Bul. I know not whether they list them, or abuses : this is the picture; behold the life. what they do with them; but I'm sure they carry

Enter BRAZEN. as many women as men with them out of the country.

Braz. Mr Worthy, I'm your servant, and so Bal. But how came you not to go along with forth— Hark'e,


dear! your sister?

Wor. Whispering, sir, before company, is not Buh Lord, sir, I thought no more of her manners; and, when nobody's by, 'tis foolish. going, than [ do of the day I shall die : but Braz. Company! mort de ma vie ! I beg the this gentleman here, not suspecting any hurt gentleman's pardon--who is he? neither, I believe-you thought no harm, friend, Wor. Ask him. did you?

Braz. So I will. My dear! I am your serKite. Lack-a-day, sir, not I— only that I be- vant, and so forth-Your name, my dear! lieve I shall marry her to-morrow.

Bal. Very laconic, sir. Bal. I begin to smell powder. Well, friend, Braz. Laconic ! a very good name, truly! I but what did that gentleman with you?

have known several of the Laconics abroad Bul. Why, sir, he entertained me with a Poor Jack Laconic ! he was killed at the battle fine story of a great sea-fight between the of Landen. I remember, that he had a blue Hungarians, I think it was, and the wild Irish. ribband in his hat that very day, and after he

Kite. And so, sir, while we were in the heat fell, we found a piece of neat's tongue in his of battle the captain carried off the baggage. pocket. Bal. Serjeant, go along with this fellow to

Bal. Pray, sir, did the French attack us, or pour captain, give him my humble service, and we them, at Landen? desire him to discharge the wench, though he has Braz. The French attack us! Oons, sir, are listed her.

you a jacobite? Bul. Ay, and if she ben't free for that, he Bal. Why that question? shall have another man in her place.

Braz. Because none but a jacobite could Kite. Come, honest friend. You shall go to think that the French durst attack us—No, sir, my quarters, instead of the captain's. [Aside. we attacked them on the-I have reason to re

[Ereunt Kite and Bullock. member the time, for I had two-and-twenty Bal. We must get this mad captain his com- horses killed under me that day. plement of men, and send him packing, else he'll Wor. Then, sir, you must have rid mighty over-run the country.

hard. Wor. You see, sir, how little he values your Bal. Or, perhaps, sir, like my countrymen, daughter's disdain.


half a dozen horses at once. Bal. I like him the better : I was just such Braz. What do ye mean, gentlemen? I tell another fellow at his age :--But how goes your you they were killed, all torn to pieces by canaffair with Melinda ?

non-shot, except six I staked to death upon the Wor. Very slowly. My mistress has got a enemy's chevaur de frise. captain, too, but such a captain!—as I live, yon- Bal. Noble captain! may I crave your name ? der he comes !

Braz. Brazen, at your service. Bal. Who, that bluff fellow in the sash? I Bal. Oh, Brazen ! a very good name. I have don't know him.

known several of the Brazens abroad.

don me.


Wor. Do you know one captain Plume, sir? mil-yararality as if I had been the best lady in

Braz. Is he any thing related to Frank Plume the land. in Northamptonshire ? –Honest Frank ! many, Bal. Oh! he's a mighty familiar gentleman as inany a dry bottle have we cracked hand to fist.

can be. You must have known his brother Charles, that

Enter Plume, singing. was concerned in the India Company; he married the daughter of Old Tonguepad, the master Plume. But it is not so in Chancery, a very pretty woman, only she With those that go squinted a little; she died in child-bed of her Through frost and snow first child, but the child survived: 'twas a daugh

Most apropos ter; but whether it was called Margaret or Mar- My maid with the milking-pail. gery, upon my soul I can't remember. [Looking

[Takes hold of Rose. on his watch.) But, gentlemen, I musi meet a How, the justice! then I'm arraigned, condemnlady, a twenty thousand pounder, presently, upon ed, and executed. the walk by the water-Worthy, your servant ; Bal. Oh, my noble captain ! Laconic, yours.

[Exit Braz

Rose. And my noble captain, too, sir. Bal. If you can have so mean an opinion of Plume. 'Sdeath! child, are you mad?

-Mr Melinda as to be jealous of this fellow, I think Balance, I am so full of business about my reshe ought to give you cause to be so.

cruits, that I han't a moments time tom

-I have Wor. I don't think she encourages him so just now three or four people tomuch for gaining herself a lover, as to set up a Bal. Nay, captain, I must speak to you, rival. Were there any credit to be given to his

Rose. And so must I too, captain.
words, I should believe Melinda had made him Plume. Any other time, sir-I cannot for my
this assignation. I must go see, sir; you'll par- life, sir-

TÉrit Wor. Bal. Pray, sir-
Bal. Ay, ay, sir; you're a man of business Plume. Twenty thousand things I would
But what have we got here?

but-now, sir, pray-Devil take me—I cannot
-I must-

[Breaks away.
Enter Rose, singing.

Bal. Nay, I'll follow you. [Erit. BAL. Rose. And I shall be a lady, a captain's lady, Rose. And I, too.

[Erit. and ride single upon a white horse with a star, upon a velvet side-saddle; and I shall go to Lon

SCENE II.The walk by the Setern side. don, and see the tombs, and the lions, and the king and qucen. Sir, an please your worship, I

Enter MELINDA, and her maid Lucy. have often seen your worship ride through our grounds a hunting, begging your worship’s par- Mel. And, pray, was it a ring, or buckle, or don. Pray, what may this lace be worth a-yard? pendents, or knots ? or in what shape was the

(Shewing some lace. almighty gold transformed, that has bribed you Bal. Right Mechlin, by this light! Where did so much in his favour? you get this lace, child?

Lucy Indeed, madam, the last bribe I had Rose. No matter for that, sir; I came honest from the captain was only a small piece of Flanly by it.

ders' lace for a cap. Bal. I question it much.

Aside. Mel. Ay, Flanders' lace is as constant a preRose. And see here, sir, a fine Turkey-shell sent from officers to their women, as something snuff-box, and fine mangere: sce here. (Tukes else is from their women to them. They every snuff affectedly.). The captain learnt me how to year bring over a cargo of lace to cheat the king take it with an air.

of his duty and his subjects of their honesty. Bal. Oh ho! the captain ! now the murder's Lucy. They only barter one sort of prohibited out. And so the captain taught you to take it goods for another, madam. with an air?

Mel. Has any of them been bartering with you, Rose. Yes, and give it with an air, too. Will Mrs Pert, that you talk so like a trader? your worship please to taste my snuff?

Lucy. One would imagine, madam, by your [Offers the bo.r affectedly. concern for Worthy's absence, that you should Bal. You are a very apt scholar, pretty maid! use him better when he's with you. And pray, what did you give the captain, for Mel. Who told you, pray, that I was concernthese fine things ?

ed for his absence! I'm only vexed that I have Rose. He's to have my brother for a soldier, had nothing said to me these two days: as one and two or three sweethearts I have in the coun- may love the treason and hate the traitor. Oh! try; they shall all go with the captain. Oh, he's here comes another captain, and a rogue that the finest man, and the humblest withal. Would has the confidence to make love to me, but, inyou believe it, sir? he carried me up with him deed, I don't wonder at that, when he has the to his own chamber, with as much fam-mam- assurance to fancy hinuself' a fine gentleman.


Lucy. If he should speak o' the assignation, I Reason still keeps its throne, but it nods a little should be ruined.

(Aside. that's all. Enter BRAZEN.

Wor. Then you're just fit for a frolic.

Plume. As fit as close pinners for a punk in Braz. True to the touch, faith! (Aside.] Ma- the pit. dam, I am your humble servant, and all that, Wor. There's your play, then; recover me that madam. A fine river this same Severn-Do you vessel from that Tangerine. love fishing, madam?

Plume. She's well rigged; but how is she Mel. 'Tis a pretty melancholy amuseinent for manned ? lovers.

Wor. By captain Brazen, that I told you of Braz. I'll go buy hooks and lines presently; to-day; she is called the Melinda, a first rate, I for you must know, madam, that I have served can assure you; she sheered off with him just in Flanders against the French, in Hungary a- now, on purpose to affront me; but, according gainst the Turks, and in Tangier against the to your advice, I would take no notice, because Moors, and I was never so much in love before; I would seem to be above a concern for her beand, split me, madam, in all the campaigns I haviour ; but have a care of a quarrel. ever made I have not seen so fine a woman as Plume. No, no: I never quarrel with any your ladyship.

thing in my cups, but an oysterwench or a cooks Mel. And from all the men I ever saw, I never maid; and if they ben't civil, I knock them down. had so fine a compliment: but you soldiers are But, hark'e, my friend, I'l make love, and I the best bred men; that we must allow.

must make love-I tell you what, I'll make love Braz. Some of us, madam; but there are like a platoon. brutes among us, too; very sad brutes; for my Wor. Platoon ! how's that? own part, I have always had the good luck to Plume. I'll kneel, stoop, and stand, faith : prove agreeable. I have had very considerable most ladies are gained by platooning. offers, madam-I might have married a German Wor. Here they come; I must leave you. princess worth fifty thousand crowns a-year; but

Erit Wor. her stove disgusted me. The daughter of a Tur- Plume. So ! now must I look sober and dekish bashaw fell in love with me, too, when I was a prisoner among the infidels; she offered to rob her father of his treasure, and make her

Enter Brazen and MELINDA. escape with me; but I don't know how, my time was not come : hanging and marriage, you know, Who's that, madam? go by destiny: Fate has reserved me for a Shrop- Mel. A brother officer of your's, I suppose, shire lady worth twenty thousand pounds. Do you know any such person, madam?

Braz. Ay--my dear!

[To PLUME. Mel. Extravagant coxcomb! (Aside.) To be Plume. My dear! [Run, and embrace. sure, a great many ladies of that fortune would Braz. My dear boy! how is't? Your name, be proud of the name of Mrs Brazen.

my dear! If I be not mistaken, I have seen your Braz. Nay, for that matter, madam, there face. are women of very good quality of the name of Plume. I never saw your's in my life, my dear Brazen.

-but there's a face well known as the sun's,

that shines on all, and is by all adored. Enter WORTHY.

Braz. Have you any pretensions, sir? Mel. Oh, are you there, gentleman !Come, Plume. Pretensions ! captain, we'll walk this way.

Braz. That is, sir, have you ever served hand.

abroad? Braz. My hand, heart's blood, and guts, are

Plume. I have served at home, sir, for ages at your service. Mr Worthy, your servant, my served this cruel fair, and that will serve the turn, dear!

[Erit, leading Melinda. sir. Wor. Death and fire! this is not to be borne! Mel. So, between the fool and the rake, I shall

bring a fine spot of work upon my hands! I see Enter PLUME.

Worthy yonder; I could be content to be friends Plume. No more it is, faith!

with him, would he come this way. Wor. What?

Braz. Will you fight for the lady, sir? Plume. The March beer at the Raven. I have Plume. No, sir; but I'll have her notwithbeen doubly serving the king; raising men, and standing. raising the excise. Recruiting and elections are rare friends to the excise.

Thou peerless princess of Salopian plains, Wor. You an't drunk?

Envy'd by nymphs, and worshipped by the swainsPlume. No, no; whimsical only. I could be Braz. Oons! sir, not fight for her! mighty foolish, and fancy myself mighty witty. Plume. Prithee be quiet-I shall be out VOL. II.



Give me your

« НазадПродовжити »