men fall into meannefs, and that a liberal fortune generally made a liberal and honeft mind; he refolved, therefore, to fave him from his ruin, by giving him opportunities of tatting what it is to be at eafe, and inclofed to him the following order upon Sir Triftram Cash.

SIR,

PRAY pay to Mr. Thomas Wildair, or order, the fum of one thousand pounds, and place it to the account of Yours,

HUMPHRY WILDAIR.

Tom was so astonished at the receipt of this order, that though he knew it to be his father's hand, and that he had always large fums at Sir Triftram's, yet a thousand pounds was a trust of which his conduct had always made him appear fo little capable, that he kept his note by him, until he writ to his father the following letter:

HONOURED FATHERY

I Have received an order under your hand for a thousand pounds, in words at length; and I think I'could fwear it is your own hand. I have looked it over and over twenty thoufand times. There is in plain letters, T,H,O,U,S,A,N,D; and after it, the letters P,o,u,N,D,S. I have it still by me, and shall, I believe, continue reading it until I hear from

you.

The old gentleman took no manner of notice of the receipt of his letter; but fent him another order for three thoufand pounds more. His amazement on this fecond letter was unfpeakable. He immediately double-locked his door, and fat down carefully to reading and comparing both his orders. After he had read them until he was half mad. he walked fix or feven turns in his chamber, then opens his door, then locks it again; and to examine thoroughly this matter, he locks his door again, puts his table and chairs against it; then goes into his closet, and locking himself in, read his notes over again about nineteen times, which did but increase his aftonishment. Soon after, he began to recollect many stories he had formerly heard of perfons who had been poffeffed with imaginations and appearances which had no foundation in nature, but had been taken with fudden madnefs in the

midst of a feeming clear and untainted reafon. This made him very gravely conclude he was out of his wits; and with a defign to compofe himself, he immediately betakes him to his nightcap, with a refolution to fleep himself into his former poverty and fenfes. To bed therefore he goes at noon-day; but foon rofe again, and refolved to visit Sir Triftram upon this occafion. He did fo, and dined with the knight, expecting he would mention fome advice from his father about paying him money; but no fuch thing being faid-Look you,

Sir Triftram,' faid he, 6 you are to 'know, that an affair has happened, which 'Look you,' fays Triftram, I know, Mr. Wildair, you are going to defire me to advance; but 'the late call of the Bank, where I have not yet made my last payment, has obliged me Tom interrupted him, by fhewing rim the bill of a thousand, pounds. When he had looked at it for a convenient time, and as often furvey. ed Tom's looks and countenance

pays

Look you, Mr. Wildair, a thousand pounds Before he could proceed, he fhews him the order for three thoufand more. Sir Triftram examined the orders at the light, and finding, at the writing the name, there was a certain ftroke in one letter, which the father and he had agreed should be to fuch directions as he defired might be more immediately honoured, he forthwith the money. The poffeffion of four thousand pounds gave my young genfleman a new train of thoughts: he began to reflect upon his birth, the great expectations he was born to, and the unfuitable ways he had long purfued. Inftead of that unthinking creature he was before, he is now provident, generous, and difcreet. The father and for have an exact and regular correfpondence, with mutual and unreferved confidence in each other. The fon looks upon his father as the best tenant he could have in the country, and the fa ther finds the fon the most fafe banker he could have in the city,

woman.

he did here this evening, concerning the force and efficacy of well-applied nonfense. Among ladies, he pofitively averred it was the most prevailing part of eloquence; and had fo little complaifance as to fay, a woman is never taken by her reafon, but always by her paffion. He proceeded to affert, the way to move that, was only to aftonish her. I know,' continued he, a very late inftance of this; for being by accident in the room next to Strephon, I could not help over-hearing him as he made love to a certain great lady's The true method in your application to one of this fecond rank of understanding, is not to elevate and furprize, but rather to elevate and amaze. Strephon is a perfect mafter in this kind of perfuafion: his way is, to run over with a foft air a mul⚫titude of words, without meaning or connection; but fuch as do each of them apart give a pleafing idea, though they have nothing to do with each other as he affembles them. After the common phrafes of falutation, and making his entry into the room, I perceived he had taken the fair nymph's hand, and kiffing it, faid"Witnefs to my happiness, ye groves! beftill, verivulets! oh! woods, caves, fountains, trees, dales, mountains, hills, and ftreams!-Oh, faireit! could you love me?" To which I overheard her anfwer, with a very pretty lip" Oh! Strephon, you are a dangerous creature: why do you talk thefe tender things to me? But you men of wit"Is it then pof"fible," faid the enamoured Strephon, "that the regards my forrows-Oh! Pity, thou balmy cure to an heart "overloaded. If rapture, folicitation, foft defire, and pleafing anxiety-But ftill I live in the most afflicting of all "circumftances, doubt, Cannot my "charmer name the place and mo

66

ment

There all thofe joys infatiably to prove, With which rich beauty feeds the glutton Love,

“Forgive me, Madam; it is not that heart is my of it's chain, but weary "This incoherent ftuff was anfwered by a tender figh" Why "do you put your wit to a weak wo"man?" Strephon faw he had made fome progrefs in her heart, and purfued it, by laying that he would cer

FROM MY OWN APARTMENT, AUG. 26.

THE following letter came to my hand, with a request to have the fubject recommended to our readers, particularly the Smart Fellows; who are defired to repair to Major Touch-hole, who can help them to firelocks that are only fit for exercife.

JUST READY FOR THE PRESS,

MARS Triumphant; or, London's Glory: Being the whole art of encampment, with the method of embattelling armies, marching them off, posting the officers, forming hollow fquares, and the various ways of paying the falute with the half-pike; as it was performed by the Trained Bands of London this year, one thousand feven hundred and nine, in that nursery of Bellona, the Artillery Ground. Wherein you have a new method how to form a ftrong line of foot, with large interyals between each platoon, very useful to prevent the breaking in of horfe. A civil way of performing the military ceremony, wherein the major alights from his horfe, and at the head of his company falutes the lieutenant-colonel; and the lieutenant-colonel, to return the compliment, courteously difmounts, and after the fame manner falutes his major: exactly as it was performed, with abundance of applaufe, on the fifth of July lat. Likewife an account of a new invention, made ufe of in the red regiment, to quell mutineering captains; with feveral other things alike useful for the public. To which is added, an appendix by Major Touch-hole; proving the method of difcipline now und in our armies to be defective: with very

an effay towards an amendment. Dedicated to the Lieutenant-Colonel of the first regiment.

Mr. Bickerstaff has now in the prefs, A Defence of Aukward Fellows against the clafs of the Smarts: with a differtation upon the Gravity which becomes Weighty perfons. Illuftrated by way of fable; and a difcourfe on the nature

of the elephant, the cow, the dray-horse, and the dromedary, which have motions equally fteady and grave. To this is added a treatife written by an elephant, according to Pliny, against receiving foreigners into the foreft. Adapted to fome prefent circunftances. Together with allufions to fuch beafts as declare against the poor Palatines.

WHITE'S CHOCOLATE-HOUSE, AUG.29.

MONG many phrafes which have

them both fuperficial; for the taste of books is neceffary to our behaviour in the best company, and the knowledge

of fuch company as frequent this place, there is not one which misleads me more than that of a Fellow of a great deal of 'Fire.' This metaphorical term, Fire, has done much good in keeping coxcombs in awe of one another; but at the fame time it has made them troublefome to every body else. You fee, in the very air of a Fellow of Fire,' fomething fo expreffive of what he would be at, that if it were not for self-preservation, a man would laugh out.

I had laft night the fate to drink a bottle with two of these Firemen, who are indeed difperfed like the Myrmidons in all quarters, and to be met with among thofe of the most different education. One of my companions was a fcholar with Fire; and the other a foldier of the fame complexion. My learned man would fall into difputes, and argue without any manner of provocation or contradiction: the other was decifive without words, and would give a fhrug or an oath to exprefs his opinion. My learned man was a mere fcholar, and my man of war as mere a foldier. The particularity of the firft was ridiculous; that of the fecond, terrible. They were relations by blood, which in fome measure moderated their extravagancies towards each other: I gave myfelf up merely as a perfon of no note in the company; but as if brought to be convinced, that I was an inconfiderable thing, any otherwife than that they would fhew cach other to me, and make me fpectator of the triumph they alternately enjoyed. The fcholar has been very converfant with books, and the other with men only; which makes

books: but they have both Fire, which makes one pafs for a man of fenfe, and the other for a fine gentleman. I found I could eafily enough pafs my time with the fcholar: for if I feemed not to do' justice to his parts and fentiments, he pitied me, and let me alone. But the warrior could not let it reft there; I muft know all that happened within his fhallow obfervations of the nature of the war; to all which he added an air of lazinefs, and contempt of thofe of his companions who were eminent for delighting in the exercife and knowledge of their duty. Thus it is, that all the young fellows of much a imal life, and little understanding, who repair to our armies, ufurp upon the converfation of reafonable men, under the notion of having Fire.

The word has not been of greater use to fhallow lovers, to fupply them with chat to their miftreffes, than it has been to pretended men of pleasure, to fupport them in being pert and dull, and faying of every fool of their order- Such a

one has Fire.' There is Colonel

Truncheon, who marches with divifions ready on all occafions; an hero who never doubted in his life, but is ever pofitively fixed in the wrong, not out of obftinate opinion, but invincible ftupidity.

It is very unhappy for this latitude of London, that it is poffible for fuch as can learn only fafhion, habit, and a fet of common phrafes of falutation, to pafs with no other accomplishments, in this nation of freedom, for men of converAll thefe ought to fation and fenfe. pretend to is, not to offend; but they

carry