THE

LAME LOVER.

I

A C T I.

Enter Serjeant CIRCUIT and CHARLOT.

Charlot.

Tell you, Sir, his love to me is all a pretence it is amazing that you, who are fo acute, fo quick in difcerning on other occafions, fhould be fo blind upon this.

Serj. But where are your proofs, Charlot? What fignifies your opening matters which your evidence cannot fupport?

Char. Surely, Sir, ftrong circumftances in every court fhould have weight.

Serj. So they have collaterally, child, that is by way as it were of corroboration, or where matters are doubtful; then indeed, as Plowden wifely, obferves, "Les "circonftances ajoutent beaucoup de poids aux faits."You understand me?

Char. Not perfectly well.

Serj. Then to explain by cafe in point; A, we will fuppofe, my dear, robs B of a watch upon Hounflow heath-dy'e mind, child?

Char. I do, Sir.

Serj. A, is taken up and indicted; B fwears pofitively to the identity of A.-Dy'e observe ?

Char. Attentively.

Serj. Then what does me A, but fets up the alibi C, to defeat the affidavit of B.-You take me.

Char. Clearly.

Serj. So far then you see the ballance is even.
Char. True,

Serj. But then to turn the scale, child, against A, in favour of B, they produce the circumstance D, viz. B's watch found in the pocket of A; upon which, the testimony of C being contradicted by B,-no, by D,-why then A, that is to fay C,-no D-joining B, they convict C,-no, no, A,-against the affidavit of C.-So this being pretty clear, child, I leave the application to

you.

Char. Very obliging, Sir. But fuppofe now, fir, it fhould appear that the attention of Sir Luke Limp is directed to fome other object, would not that induce youSerj. Other object! Where?

Char. In this very houfe.

Serj. Here! why the girl is non compos; there's nobody here, child, but a parcel of Abigals.

Char. No, Sir?

Serj. No.

Char. Yes, Sir, one perfon elfe.

Serj. Who is that?

Char. But remember, Sir, my accufation is confined to Sir Luke.

Serj. Well, well.

Char. Suppofe then, Sir, thofe powerful charms which made a conqueft of you, may have extended their empire over the heart of Sir Luke?

Serj. Why, huffy, you don't hint at your mother-inlaw?

Char. Indeed, Sir, but I do.

Serj Ay; why this is point blank treafon against my fovereign authority: but can you, Charlot, bring proof of any overt acts?

Char. Overt acts!

Serj.

Serj. Ay; that is any declaration by writing, or even word of mouth is fufficient; then let 'em demur if they dare.

Char. I can't fay that, Sir; but another organ has been pretty explicit.

Serj. Which?

Char. In thofe cafes a very infallible one-the eye. Serj. Pfhaw! nonsense and stuff.-The eye !—The eye has no authority in a court of law.

Char. Perhaps not, Sir; but it is a decifive evidence in a court of love.

Serj. Hark you, huffy, why you would not file an information against the virtue of madam your mother ; you would not infinuate that she has been guilty of crim. con. ?

Char. Sir, you mistake me; it is not the lady, but the gentleman I am about to impeach.

Serj. Have a care, Charlot! 1 fee on what ground your action is founded-jealousy.

Char. You were never more deceiv'd in your life for it is impoffible, my dear Sir, that jealousy can fubfift without love.

Serj. Well.

Char. And from that paffion (thank heaven) I am pretty free at present.

Serj. Indeed!

Cher. A fweet object to excite tender defires!

Serj. And why not, huffy?

Char Firft as to his

Serj. What then?

years.

Char. I own, Sir, age procures honor, but I believe it is very rarely productive of love.

Serj. Mighty well.

Char. And tho' the lofs of a leg can't be imputed to Sir Luke Limp as a fault

Serj. How!

Char. I hope, Sir, at least you will allow it a misfor

tune.

Serj. Indeed!

Char. A pretty thing truly, for a girl, at my time of life, to be ty'd to a man with one foot in the grave.

Serj.

Serj. One foot in the grave! the rest of his body is not a whit the nearer for that.-There has been only an execution iffued against part of his perfonals, his real estate is unencumbered and free-befides, you fee he does not mind it a whit, but is as alert, and as merry, as a defendant after non-fuiting a plaintiff for omitting an S.

Char. O! Sir! I know how proud Sir Luke is of his leg, and have often hear him declare, that he would not change his bit of timber for the best flesh and bone in the kingdom.

Serj. There's a hero for you!

Char. To be fure, fuftaining unavoidable evils with conftancy is a certain fign of greatness of mind. Serj Doubtlefs.

Char Bur then to derive a vanity from a misfortune, will not I'm afraid be admitted as a vaft inftance of wisdom, and indeed looks as it the man had nothing better to diftinguish himfelt by.

Seri. How does that follow ?

Char. By Inuendo.

Serj. Negatur.

Char. Befides, Sir, I have other proofs of your horo's vanity, not inferior to that I have mention'd.

Serj. Cite them.

Char. The paltry ambition of levying and following titles.

Serj. Titles! I don't understand you?

Char. I mean the poverty of faftening in public up. on men of diftinction, for no other reafon but because of their rank; adhering to Sir John till the Baronet is fuperfeded by my Lord; quitting the puny Peer for an Earl; and facrificing all three to a Duke.

Serj. Keeping good company! a laudable ambition ! Char. True, Sir, if the virtues that procur'd the father a peerage, could with that be entail'd on the fon. Serj. Have a care, huffy-there are feveral laws againft fpeaking evil of dignities.

Char. Sir!

Seri. Scandalum magnatum is a fatute must not be

trifled