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Enter Shift, disguised like a Bully.

Gripe. Who's there? Scapin!

Sca. How I run up and down to find him to co Shift. Damme! where's this confounded dog, purpose! Oh! sir, is there no way to hear of this father of Octavian? Null the marriage! By Mr Gripe? all the honour of my ancestors, I'll chine the vil- Gripe. Art thou blind? I have been just under lain !

thy nose this hour. Thrifty. Oh, oh!

Sca. Sir [Hides himself behind Scapin. Gripe. What's the matter? Sca. Ile cares not, sir; he'll not give the two Sca. Oh! Sir, your son hundred pounds.

Gripe. Ha, my sonShift. By Heaven! he shall be worm's meat Sca. Is fallen into the strangest misfortune in within these two hours !

the world! Sca. Sir, he has courage; he fears you not. Gripe. What is it?

Thrifty. You lie, I have not courage; I du fear Sca. I met him a while ago, disordered for him mortally!

something you had said to him, wherein you very Shift. He, he, he! Ounds he ! would all his idly made use of my name, and, seeking to difamily were in him, I'd cut off root and branch. vert his melancholy, we went to walk upon the Dishonour my sister ! This in his guts! What pier: Amongst other things, he took particular fellow's that? ba !

notice of a new caper in her full trim. The capSca. Not he, sir.

tain invited us on board, and gave us the handShift. Nor none of his friends ?

somest collation I ever met with. Thrifty. No, sir; hang him, I am bis mortal Gripe. Well, and wbere's the disaster of all enemy!

this? Shift. Art thou the enemy of that rascal ? Sca. While we were eating, he put to sea; and

Thrifty. Oh! ay, hang him—Oh damned when we were a good distance from the shore, bully!

[Aside. he discovered himself to be an English renegado, Shift. Give me thy hand, old boy; the next sun that was entertained in the Dutch service, and shall not see the impudent rascal alive.

sent me off in his long-boat to tell you, that if Sca. Hie'll muster up all his relations against you don't forthwith send him two hundred you.

pounds, he'll carry away your son prisoner : nay, Thrifty. Do not provoke hiin, Scapin. for aught I know, he'll carry him a slave to AlShift. Would they were all here--ha, ha, ha! giers.

[He forms every way with his sword. Gripe. How, in the devil's name? two liunHere I had one through the lungs, there another dred pounds! into the heart: Ha! there another into the guts : Sca. Yes, sir; and more than that, he has alAh, rogues ! there I was with you-hah! hah! lowed me but an hour's time; you must advise

Sca. Hold, sir; we are none of your enemies. quickly what course to take, to save an only son !

Shift. No, but I will find the villains out while Gripe. What a devil had be to do a shipboard? my blood is up! I will destroy the whole family. -Run quickly, Scapin, and tell the villain, I'll Ha, ha, ha!

[Erit Shift. send my lord chief justice's warrant after him. Thrifty. Here, Scapin, I have two hundred Sca. O la! bis warrant in the open sea! d'ye guineas about me, take them. No more to be think pirates are fools? said. Let me never see his face again. Take Gripe. l'th' devil's name, what business had them, I say. This is the devil!

he a shipboard? Sca. Will you not give them hiin yourself? Scu. There is an unlucky fate, that often hur

Thrifty. No, no! I will never see him more: ries men to mischief, sir. I shall not recover this these three months! See Gripe. Scapin, thou must now act the part of the business done. I trust in thee, honest Sca- a faithful servant. pin-I must repose somewhere-l am mightily Sca. As how, sir ! out of order- A plague on all bullies, I say! Gripe. Thou inust go bid the pirate send me

[Erit THRIFTY. my son, and stay as a pledge in his room, till I Sca. So, there's one dispatched; I must now can raise the money. find out Gripe. He's here; how Heaven brings Sru. Alas, sir! think you the captain has so theru into my nets, one after another !

liitle wit as to accept of such a poor rascally fel

low as I am, instead of your son? Enter GRIPE.

Gripe. What the devil did he do a shipboard? Oh Heaven! unlooked for misfortune-poor Mr Sca. D'ye remember, sir, that you have but an Gripe, what wilt thou do?

hour's time? (Walks about distractedly. Gripe. Thou sayest he demandsGripe. What's that he says of me?

Sca. Two hundred pounds. Sca. Is there nobody can tell me news of Mr Gripe. Two hundred pounds! Has the fellow Gripe?

no conscience ?

a

ney?

Sca. O la! the conscience of a piratc ! why, Gripe. That I will never forgive him, dead or very few lawful captains have any.

alive. Gripe. Has he not reason neither? Does he Sca. very good. know what the sum two hundred pounds is? Gripe. And that if ever I light on him, I'll

Sca. Yes, sir; tarpawlins are a sort of people murder him privately, and feed dogs with him. that understand money, though they have no [He puts up his purse, and is going away. great acquaintance with sense. But, for Hea- Sca. Right, sir. ven's sake, dispatch !

Gripe. Now, make haste, and go and redeem Gripe. Here, take the key of my counting- my son house.

Sca. Ay; but d'ye hear, sir ? where's the moSca. So ! Gripe. And open it.

Gripe. Did I not give it thee? Scu. Very good!

Sca. Indeed, sir, you made me believe you Gripe. In the left-hand window lies the key of would, but you forgot, and put it in your pocket my garret; go, take all the clothes that are in again. the great chest, and sell them to the brokers to Gripe. Ha-my griefs and fears for my son redeein my son:

make me do I know not what ! Sca. Sir, you're mad! I shan't get fifty shil- Sca. Ay, sir; I see it does indeed. lings for all that's there, and you know that I am Gripe, What a devil did he do a shipboard ? straitened for time.

damned pirate ! damned renegade ! all the devils Gripe. What a devil did he do a shipboard ! in bell pursue thee!

(Exit. Sca. Let shipboard alone, and consider, sir, Sca. How easily a miser swallows a load, and your son.

But Heaven's my witness, I have how difficultly he disgorges a grain! But I'll not done for him as much as was possible; and it leave him so; he's like to pay in other coin, for he be not redeemed, he may thank his father's telling tales of nie to his son. kindness. Gripe. Well, sir, I'll go see if I can raise the

Enter OCTAVIAN and LEANDER. money-was it not ninescore pounds you spoke Well, sir, I have succeeded in your business; of?

there's two hundred pounds, which I have squeeze Sca. No; two hundred pounds.

ed out of your father. Gripe. What, two hundred pounds Dutch, ha? Oct. Triumphant Scapin!

Sca. No, sir; I mean English money; two hun- Sca. But for you I can do nothing. dred pounds sterling.

[TO LEANDER. Gripe. I'th' devil's name, what business had Lean. Then may I go hang myself. Friends he a shipboard? Coufounded shipboard ! both, adieu !

Sca. This shipboard sticks in his stomach. Sca. D've hear, d'ye hear? the devil has no

Gripe. Hold, Scapin! I remember I received such necessity for you yet, that you need ride the very sum just now in gold, but did not think post. With much ado I've got your business I should have parted with it so soon.

done, too. (He presents Scapin his purse, but will not Lean. Is't possible?

let it go; und in his transportments, Sca. But on condition that you permit me to pulls his arm to and fro, whilst SCAPIN revenge myself on your father, for the trick he teaches at it.

has served me. Sca. Ay, sir.

Lean. With all my heart; at thy own discreGripe. But tell the captain he is the son of a tion, good honest Scapin. whore !

Sca. Hold your hand; there's two hundred Sca. Yes, sir.

pounds. Gripe. A dogbolt!

Lean. My thanks are too many to pay now: Sca. I shall, sir.

Farewell, dear son of Mercury, and be prosperGripe. A thief! a robber! and that he forces ous. me to pay him two hundred pounds contrary to Sca. Gramercy, Pupil. Hence we gather. all law or equity!

Give son the money, hang up father. Sca. Nay, let me alone with him.

[Ereunt.

Vol. III.

B

ACT III.

us!

him so.

SCENE I.

ming creatures our careful fathers had designed Enter Lucra and Clara.

Cla. Parents think they do their daughters Luc. Was ever such a trick played, for us the greatest kindness in the world, when they to run away from our governesses, where our get them fools for their husbands; and yet are careful fathers had placed us, to follow a couple very apt to take it ill, if they make the right use of young gentleman, only because they said they of them. loved us? I think 'twas a very noble enterprize! Luc. I'd no more be bound to spend my days I am afraid the good fortune we shall get by it, in marriage to a fool, because I might rule him, will very hardly recompense the reputation we than I would always ride an ass, because the have lost by it.

creature was gentle. Cla. Our greatest satisfaction is, that they are Cla. See, here's Scapin, as full of designs men of fashion and credit; and, for my part, I long and affairs, as a callow statesman at a treaty of ago resolved not to marry any other, nor such an peace. onc neither, till I had a perfect confirmation of his love; and 'twas an assurance of Octavian's

Enter Scapin. that brought me hither.

Sca. Ladies! Luc. I must confess, I had no less a sense of Cla. Oh, monsieur Scapin! What's the reason the faith and honour of Leander.

you have been such a stranger of late? Cla. But seems it not wonderful, that the cir- Sca. Faith, ladies, business, business has taken cumstances of our fortune should be so nearly up my time; and truly I love an active life, love allied, and ourself so much strangers ? Besides, my business extremely. if I mistake not, I see something in Leander, so Luc. Methinks though, this should be a diffimuch resembling a brother of mine of the cult place for a man of your excellencies to find same name, that, did not the time since I saw him employnient in. make me fearful, I should be often apt to call Sca. Why faith, madam, I'm never shy to my

friends : My business is, in short, like that of all Luc. I have a brother too, whose name's other men of busness, diligently contriving how Octavian, bred in Italy, and just as my father to play the knave, and cheat to get an honest took his voyage, returned home; not knowing livelihood. where to find me, I believe is the reason I Cla. Certainly men of wit and parts need have not seen him yet. But if I deceive not never be driven to indirect courses. myself, there is something in your Octavian Sca. Oh, madam! wit and honesty, like oil that extrcinely refreshes my memory of him. and vinegar, with much ado mingle together,

Cla. I wish we might be so happy as we give a relish to a good fortune, and pass well are inclined to hope ; but there's a strange enough for sauce, but are very thin fare of themblind side in our natures, which always makes selves. No, give me your knave, your thoroughus apt to believe, what we most earnestly de paced knave; hang his wit, so he be but rogue sire.

enough. Luc. The worst, at last, is but to be forsaken Luc. You're grown very much out of humour by our fathers: And, for my part, I had rather with wit, Scapin ; I hope yours has done you no lose an old father than a young lover, when I prejudice of late? may with reputation keep him, and secure my- Sca. No, madam; your men of wit are good self against the imposition of fatherly authority. for nothing, dull, lazy, restive snails; 'tis your

Cla. How unsufferable is it to be sacrificed io undertaking, impudent, pushing fool, that comthe arms of a nauseous blockhead, that has no mands his fortune. other sense than to eat and drink, when 'tis pro- Cla. You are very open and plain in this provided for bim, rise in the morning, and go to bed ceeding, whatever you are in others. at night, and with much ado be persuaded to Sca. Daine Fortune, like most others of the keep himself clean!

female sex (I speak all this with respect to your Luc. A thing of mere flesh and blood, and ladyship), is generally most indulgent to the that of the worst sort too, with a squin meagre nimble mettled blockheads; men of wit are not liang-dog countenance, that looks as if he always for her turn, ever too thoughtful when they wanted physic for the worms.

should be active: Why, who believes any man Cla. Yet such their silly parents are generally of wit to have so much as courage ? No, ladies, most indulgent to; like apes, never so well if ye’ve any friends that hope to raise themselves, pleased as when they are fondling with their ugly advise tbein to be as much fools as they can, and

they'll never want patrons : And for honesty, if Luc. Twenty to one, but to some such char- your ladyship think fit to retire a little further,

issue.

man.

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you shall see me perform upon a gentleman Sca. Listen! who are these? that's coming this way.

Gripe. God forgive me! Lord have mercy Cla. Prithee, Lucia, let us retreat a little, and upon us ! take this opportunity of some divertisement, which Sca. No, there's nobody: Look, if you'll save has been very scarce here hitherto.

your life, go into this sack presently.

Gripe. Oh! who's there?
Enter Shift, with a Sack.

Sca. Nobody: Get into the sack, and stir not, Sca. Oh, Shift!

whatever happens : I'll carry you as a bundle of Shif. Speak not too loud; my master's coming goods, through all your enemies, to the major's

Sca. I'm glad on't, I shall teach him to betray bouse of the castle. the secrets of his friend. If any man puts a Gripe. An admirable invention! Oh, Lord ! trick upon me without return, may I lose this quick.

(Gets into the suck. nose!

Sca. Yes, 'tis an excellent invention, if you Shift. I wonder at thy valour; thou art con- knew all. Keep in your liead. Oh, here's a rogue tinually venturing that body of thine, to the in- coming to look for you! dignity of bruises, and indecent bastinadoes. Sca. Difficulties in adventures make them plea

SCAPIN counterfeits a Welshman. sant when accomplished.

Do you hear, I pray you ? where is Leander's Shift. But your adventures, how comical soever father, look you ! in the beginning, are sure to be tragical in the end.

In his own voice. Sca. Tis no matter ; I hate your pusillanimous How should I know? What would you have spirit: revenge and lechery are never so plea- with him? - Lie close. [ Aside to Gripe.

ant as when you venture hard for them; be- Have with him! look you, hur has no creat gone! Here comes my man. [Exit Suikt. pus'ness, but her would have satisfactions and reEnter Gripe.

parations, look you, for credit and honours ; by

St Tuvy, he shall not put the injuries and afOh, sir, sir, shift for yourself! quickly sir! quick-fronts upon my captains, look you now, sir. ly sir! for Heaven's sake!

He affront the captain! He meddles with no Gripe. What's the matter, man? Sca. Heaven! is this a time to ask questions? You lye, sir, look you, and hur will give you Will you be murdered instantly? I am afraid you beatings and chastisements for your contradicwill be killed within these two minutes !

tions, when hur Welse ploods up, look you, and Gripe. Mercy on me! killed! for what? hur will cudgel your pack and your noutles for Sca. They are every where looking out for

take you that, pray now. Gripe. Who? Who?

(Beats the sack. Sca. The brother of her whom your son has Hold, hold; will you murder me? I know not married; he's a captain of a privateer, who has where he is, not I. all sorts of rogues, English, Scotch, Welsh, Irish, Hur will teach saucy jacks how they provoke French, under his command, and all lying in wait hur Welse ploods and hur collars : and for the now, or searching for you to kill you, because you old rogue, hur will have his guts and his plood, would null the marriage: They run up and down, look you, sir, or hur will never wear leek upon St crying, Where is the rogue Gripe? Where is the Tavy's day more, look you. dog? Where is the slave Gripe? They watch Oh! He has mawled me! A damned Welsh for you so uarrowly, that there's no getting home rascal! to your house.

Gripe. You! The blows fell upon my shoulGripe. Oh, Scapin! what shall I do? What ders. 'Oh! will become of me?

Sca. 'Twas only the end of the stick fell on Sca. Nay, Heaven knows; but, if you come you; the main substantial part of the cudgel within their reach, they will De Wit you; they will lighted on me. țear you in pieces! Hark!

Gripe. Why did you not stand further off? Gripe. O Lord !

Sca. Peace Here's another rogue.
Sca. Hum ! 'tis none of them.
Gripe. Canst thou find no way for my escape,

In a Lancashire dialect, dear Scapin?

Yaw fellee wi' th sack there, done yaw kenau Sca. I think I have found one.

whear th' awd rascal Griap is ? Gripe. Good Scapin, show thyself a man, now. Not I; but he is no rascal.

Sca. I shall venture being most immoderately Yaw leen, yaw douge ; yow knaw weel enugh beaten.

whear he is, an yauden tell, and thut he is a for Gripe. Dear Scapin, do: I will reward thee rascot as any in aw the town; I's tell a ihut bounteously : I'll give thee this suit, when I have by'r lady. worn it eight or nine months longer.

Not I, sir; I know neither, not I.

you.

it ;

By th’mess, an ay tack thee in hont, ay's rad- Gripe. I can hold no longer; the blows all fell dle che bones on thee ; ay's keeble thee to some upon my shoulders ! tune.

Sca. You can't tell me; they fell on mine: oh Me, sir? I don't understand you.

my shoulders! Why, thaw'rt his mon, thaw hobble ; I'll snite Gripe. Yours? Oh my shoulders ! th' naes othee.

Sca. Peace! they're coming. Hold, hold, sir! what would you have with him?

In a hoarse seaman's voice. Why, I mun knock him down with my kibbo, Where is the dog? I'll lay him on fore and the first buwt to the grawnt, and then I mun aft, swinge him with a cat-o'-nine-tail, keel-haul, beat him to pap, by thi' mess, and after ay mun and then hang him at the main-yard. cut off the lugs and naes on 'em, and ay wot, he'll be a pretty suatley, fellee, buwt lugs and naes.

In broken French English. Why, truly, sir, I know not where he is; but he If dere be no more men in England, I vill kill went down that lane.

him; I vill put my rapier in his body. I vill This lone, suyn ye? Ays find him, byr lady, give him two tree pushe in de gutte. an he be above gruwnt. So, he's gone; a damned Lancashire rascal!

Here Scapix acts a number of them together. Gripe. Oh, good Scapin! go on quickly. Ile must go this way-o' the right hand ? no,

[Gripe pops in his head to th' left hand lie close-search every whereScap. Hold; here's another.

by my salvation, I will kill the damned dog--and

we do catch 'em, we'll tear 'em in pieces, and I In an Irish tone.

do hear he went thick wayếno, straight forward.

Hold, here is his man; where is your Doest thou hear, Sackman? I prithee whare master- Damn me, where ? In hell? Speakis that damned dog, Gripe?

Hold, not so furiously- and you don't tell us Why, what's that to you? What know I? where he is, we'll murder thee

IV hat's that to me, joy? By my shoul, joy, I Do what you will, gentlemen, I know not. will lay a great blow upon thy pate, and ihe de- Lay him on thick; thwack him soundly. vil tuke me, but I will make thee know whare he Hold, hold; do what you will, I will ne'er beis indeed, or I'll beat upon thee till thou dost tray my master. knou, by my salvation indeed.

Knock 'en down; beat 'en soundly; to'en, at I'll not be bcaten,

l'en, at 'en, atNow, the devil take me, I swear by him that [As he is going to strike, GRIPE peeps out, made me, if thou dost not tell whare is Gripe, and SCAPIN takes to his heels. but I will beat thy father's child very much in- Gripe. Oh, dog, traitor, villain! Is this your deed!

plot? Would you have murdered me, rogue? What would you have me do? I cannot tell Unheard of impudence ! where he is. But what would you have with him?

Enter TurIFTY. What would I have with him? By my shoul, Oh, brother Thrifty! You come to see me loaden if I do see him, I will make murder upon him for with disgrace;, the villain Scapin has, as I am my captain's sake.

sensible now, cheated me of 2001. This beating Murder him? He'll not be murdered,

brings all into my memory. If I do lay my cyes upon him, Gad I will put Thrifty. The impudent varlet has gulled me my sword into his bou els, the devil take me in- of the same suin. deed. What hast thou in that sack, joy? By Gripe. Nor was he content to take my money, my salvation, I will look into it !

but has abused me at that barbarous rate, that I But you shall not. What have you to do with am ashamed to tell it; but he shall

pay

for it it?

verely. By my soul, joy, I will put my rapier into it! Thrifty. But this is not all, brother; one misa Gripe. Oh! Ob!

fortune is the forerunner of another: Just now I What, it does grunt, by my salvation, the devil have received letters from London, that both our take me, I will see it indeed.

daughters have run away from their governesses, You shall not see my sack; I'll defend it with with two wild debauched young fellows, that they

fell in love with. Then I will make beat upon thy body; take that, joy, and that, and that, upon my soul, and

Enter Lucia and Clara. 80 I do i ake my leave, joy,

(Beats him in the sack. Luc. Was ever so malicious impudence seen? A plague on him, he's gone; he's alınosi kil- Ha! Surely, if I mistake not, that should be my

se

my life.

father.

led me.

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