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Sir John. May no remembrance of past time! If I may be so bold;
There's nought but the devil, and this good
strap, Aud sporting all our toil.
Could ever tame a scold. Job. I hope you'll give me leave to speak,
SCENE 1.-Peachum's house.
A lawyer's is an honest employment; so is mine :
like me, too, he acts in a double capacity, both PEACHUM sitting at a table, with a large book of against rogues and for them; for 'tis but fitting accounts before him.
that we should protect and encourage cheats,
since we live by them. AIR.-An old woman clothed in gray.
Enter Filch. THROUGH all the employments of life,
Filch, Sir, Black Moll hath sent word her trial Each neighbour abuses his brother,
comes on in the afternoon; and she hopes you Whore and rogue they call husband and wife; will order matters so as to bring her off. All professions berogue one another :
Peach. Why, sbe may plead her belly at worst; The priest calls the lawyer a cheat,
to my knowledge, she hath taken care of that seThe lawyer beknaves the divine,
curity: but, as the wench is very active and inAnd the statesman, because he's so great, dustrious, you may satisfy her, that I'll soften the Thinks his trade as honest as mine.
Filch. Tom Gagg, sir, is found guilty. I don't know a prettier fellow; for no man alive
Peach. A lazy dog! when I took him the time hath a more engaging presence of mind upon the before, I told him what he would come to if he road. Wat Dreary, alias Brown Will; an irredid not mend his hand—This is death, without gular dog! who hath an underhand way of disreprieve. I may venture to book him (Writes.]: posing of his goods. I'll try him only for a sesfor Tom Gagg, forty pounds. Let Betty Sly know, sions or two longer upon his good behaviour. that I'll save her from transportation; for I can Harry Paddington-a poor petty-larceny rascal, get more by her staying in England.
without the least genius! that fellow, though he Filck. Betty hath brought more goods into our were to live these six months, will never come to lock this year, than any five of the gang; and, in the gallows with any credit! Slippery Sam; be truth, 'tis pity to lose so goud a customer. goes off the next sessions; for the villain bath the
Peach. If none of the gang takes her off, she impudence to have views of following his trade may, in the common course of business, live a as a tailor, which he calls an honest employment. twelvemonth longer. I love to let women 'scape. Mat of the Mint, listed not above a inonth ago; A good sportsman always lets the hen-partridges a promising sturdy fellow, and diligent in bis ay, because the breed of the game depends upon way! somewhat too bold and hasty, and may them. Besides, here the law allows us no re- raise good contributions on the public, if he does ward. There is nothing to be got by the death not cut himself short by murder. Tom Tipple; of women-except our wives.
a guzzling, soaking sot, who is always too drunk to Filch. Without dispute she is a fine woman! stand himself, or to make others stand ! A cart 'twas to her I was obliged for my education. To is absolutely necessary for him. Robin of Bagsay a bold word, she hath trained up more shot, alias Gorgon, alias Bluff Bob, alias Caryoung fellows to the business than the gaming- buncle, alias Bob Booty table. Peach. Truly, Filch, thy observation is right.
Enter Mrs PEACHUM. We, and the surgeons, are more beholden to women than all the profesions besides.
Mrs Peach. What of Bob Booty, husband? I
hope nothing bad hath betided him? You know, AIR.—The bonny grey-ey'd morn, 8c. my dear, he's a favourite customer of mine;
'twas he made me a present of this ring. Filch. 'Tis woman that seduces all mankind; Peach. I have set his name down in the blackBy her we first were taught the wheedling arts; list; that's all, my dear! he spends his life among Her very eyes can cheat: when most she's kind, women, and, as soon as his money is gone, one She tricks us of our money, with our hearts ! or other of the ladies will hang hin for the reFor her, like wolves, by night we roam for prey, ward; and there's forty pounds lost to us for And practise ev'ry fraud to bribe her charms; ever! For suits of love, like law, are won by pay,
Mrs Peach. You know, my dear, I never And beauty must be fee'd into our arms. meddle in matters of death; I always leave those
affairs to you. Women, indeed, are bitter badi Peach. But make haste to Newgate, boy, and judges in these cases; for they are so partial te let my friends know what I intend: for I love to the brave, that they think every man handsome make them easy one way or other.
who is going to the camp or the gallows. Filh. When a gentleman is long kept in suspense, penitence may break his spirit ever after.
AIR.—Cold and ruw, 8c. Besides, certainty gives a man a good air upon his trial, and makes him risk another without fear If any wench Venus's girdle wear, or scruple. But I'll away; for 'tis a pleasure to Though she be never so ugly, be the messenger of comfort to friends in afflic- Lilies and roses will quickly appear, tion.
(Erit. And her face look wondrous smuggly. Peach. But it is now high time to look about Beneath the left ear, so fit but a cord, me for a decent execution against next sessions. (A rope so charming a zone is!) I hate a lazy rogue, by whom one can get nothing The youth, in his cart, hath the air of a lord, till he is hanged. A register of the gang. [Read And we cry, There dies an Adonis ! ing.] Crook-fingered Jack, a year and a half in the service : let me see how much the stock owes But really, husband, you should not be too hardto his industry; one, two, three, four, five gold hearted; for you never had a finer, braver set of watches, and seven silver ones. A mighty clean- men, than at present. We have not had a murhanded fellow! Sixteen snuif-boxes, five of them der among them all these seven months; and, truof true gold; six dozen of handkerchiefs, four sil- ' ly, my dear, that is a great blessing. ver-hilted swords, half a dozen of shifts, three Peach. What a dickens is the woman always tie-periwigs, and a piece of broad cloth. Consi- a whimpering about murder for? No gentleman dering these are only fruits of his leisure hours, is ever looked upon the worse for killing a man
in his own defence; and, if business cannot be her livelihood to grant every liberty but one. carried on without it, what would you have a You see I would indulge the girl as far as prugentleman do?
dently we can in any thing but marriage : after Mrs Peach. If I am in the wrong, my dear, that, my dear, how shall we be safe? Are we you must excuse me; for nobody can help the not then in her husband's power? for the husfrailty of an over scrupulous conscience. band hath the absolute power over all a wife's
Peuch. Murder is as fashionable a crime as a secrets but her own. If the girl had the discreman can be guilty of. How many fine gentlemen tion of a court-lady, who can have a dozen of have we in Newgate every year, purely upon that young fellows at her ear, without complying with article? If they have wherewithal to persuade one, I should not matter it: but Polly is cinder, the jury to bring it in manslaughter, what are and a spark will at once set her in a flame. Marthey the worse for it? So, my dear, have done ried! if the wench does not know her own proupon this subject. Was captain Macheath here fit, sure she knows her own pleasure better than this morning for the banknotes he left with you to make herself a property! My daughter, to me, last week?
should be like a court-lady to a minister of state Mrs Peuch. Yes, my dear; and, though the - a key to the whole gang. Married ! if the afbank hath stopt payment, he was so cheerful, and fair is not already done, I'll terrify her from it, so agreeable! Sure there is not a finer gentle by the example of our neighbours. man upon the road than the captain! If he comes Mrs Peach. Mayhap, my dear, you may infrom Bagshot at any reasonable hour, he hath jure the girl: she loves to imitate the fine ladies, promised to make one this evening with Polly, and she may only allow the captain liberties in me, and Bob Booty, at a party at quadrille. Pray, the view of interest. my dear, is the captain rich?
Peach. But 'tis your duty, my dear, to warn Peach. The captain keeps too good company the girl against her ruin, and to instruct her bow erer to grow rich. Marybone and the chocolate- to make the most of her beauty.. I'll go to her houses are his undoing. The man, that proposes this moment, and sift her. In the mean time, to get money by play, should have the education wite, rip out the coronets and marks of these of a fine gentleman, and be trained up to it from dozen of cambric handkerchiefs; for I can dishis youth.
pose of them this afternoon to a chap in the city. Mrs Peach. Really I am sorry, upon Polly's
[Erit. account, the captain hath not more discretion. Mrs Peach. Never was a man more out of the What business hath he to keep company with way in an argument than my husband! Why lords and gentlemen? he should leave them to must our Polly, forsooth, differ from her sex, and prey upon one another.
love only her husband? And why must Polly's Peach. Upon Polly's account! What a plague marriage, contrary to all observation, make her does the woman mean? Upon Polly's account ! the less followed by other men ? All men are
Mrs Peach. Captain Macheath is very fond of thieves in love, and like a woman the better for the girl.
being another's property. Peach. And what then? Mrs Peach. If I have any skill in the ways
of AIR.-Of all the simple things we do, &c. woinen, I am sure Polly thinks him a very pretty
A maid is like the golden ore, Peach. And what then? you would not be so Which hati guineas intrinsical in't, mad to have the wench marry him? Gamesters Whose worth is never known before and highwaymen are generally very good to their It is tried and impressed in the mint. whores, but they are very devils to their wives.
A wife's like a guinea in gold, Mrs Peach. But if Polly should be in love, Stampt with the name of her spouse: how should we help her, or how can she help Now here, now there, is bought or is sold, herself? Poor girl! I'm in the utmost concern And is current in every house. about her,
Come hither, Filch ! I am as fond of this child How, like a moth, the simple maid
as though my mind misgave me he were my own. Still plays about the flame!
lle hath as Sve a hand at picking a pocket as a If soon she be not made a wife,
woman, and is as nimble-fingered as a juggler. Her honour's singed, and then for life If an unlucky ses:ion does not cut the rope of She's what I dare not hame.
thy life, 1 pionounce, boy, thou wilt be a great
man in history. Where was your post last night, Peach. Look ye, wire, a handsome wench, in my boy? our way of business, is as profitabie as at the bar
Fich. I rly'd at the opera, madam; and, conof a Temple coffee-house, who looks upon it *s sideng 'twas neither dark nor raivy, so that there
was no great hurry in getting chairs and coaches,| AIR.—What shall I do to shew how much I love made a tolerable hand on't. These seven hand
her ? kerchiefs, madam.
Mrs Peach. Coloured ones, I see. They are Virgins are like the fair flower in its lustre, of sure sale, from our warehouse at Redriff, among which in the garden enamels the ground, the seamen.
Near it the bees in play flutter and cluster, Filch. And this snuff-box.
And gaudy butterflies frolic around; Mrs Peach. Set in gold! a pretty encourage. But when once plucked, 'tis no longer alluring, ment this to a young beginner!
To Covent-garden 'tis sent (as yet sweet), Filch. I had a fair tug at a charining gold There fades, and shrinks, and grows past all enwatch. Pox take the tailors for making the fobs during, so deep and narrow! It stuck by the way, and I Rots, stinks, and dies, and is trod under feet. was forced to make my escape under a coach. Really, madam, I fear I shall be cut off in the Peach. You know, Rolly, I am not against your Power of my youth; so that, every now and then, toying and trifling with a customer in the way of since I was pumpt, I hare thoughts of taking up, business, or to get out a secret or so; but if I and going to sea.
find out that you have played the fool, and are Mrs Peach. You should go to Hockley-in-the- married, you jade you, I'll cut your throat, hussy ! Hole, and to Marybone, child, to learn valour: Now, you know my mind. these are the schools that have bred so many brave men. I thought, boy, by this time, thou
Enter Mrs PeACHUM. hadst lost fear, as well as shame. Poor lad! how little does he know as yet of the Old Bailey ! AIR.-0 London is a fine town. For the first fact I'll ensure thee from being hanged; and going to sea, Filch, will come time
Mrs PeachUM [in a very great passion.] enough upon a sentence of transportation. But Our Polly is a sad slut! nor heeds what we have now, since you have nothing beiter to do, even taught her, go to your book, and learn your catechism; for I wonder any man alive will ever rear a daughreally a man makes but an ill figure in the Ordinary's paper, who cannot give a satisfactory answer For she must have both hoods and gowns, and to his questions. But hark you, my lad ? don't tell hoops to swell her pride, me a lie, for you know I hate a liar; Do you with scarfs and stays, and gloves and lace, and know of any thing that hath past between cap- she'll have men beside; tain Macheath and our Polly?
And when she's drest with care and cost, allFilch. I beg you, madam, don't ask me ; for I tempting, fine and gay, must either tell a lie to you or to Miss Polly, for As men should serve a cucumber, she Nings herI promised her I would not tell.
Mrs Peach. But when the lionour of our family is concerned
You baggage! you hussy! you inconsiderate Filch. I shall lead a sad life with Miss Polly, jade! had you been hanged it would not have if ever she come to know that I told you. Be- vexed me, for that might have been your misforsides, I would not willingly forfeit my own ho- tune; but to do such a mad thing by choice! nour, by betraying any body.
The wench is married, husband! Mrs Peach. Yonder comes my husband and Peach. Married ! the captain is a bold man, Polly. Come, Filch, you shall go with me into and will risk any thing for money: to be sure, he iny own room, and tell me the whole story. I'll believes her a fortune. Do you think your mogive thee a glass of a most delicious cordial, that ther and I should have lived comfortably so long I keep for my own drinking.
[Ereunt. together, if ever we had been married, baggage ?
Mrs Peach. I knew she was always a proud Enter Peachum and Polly.
slut, and now the wench hath played the fool and
married, because, forsooth, she would do like the Polly. I know as well as any of the fine la- gentry! Can you support the expence of a husdies how to make the most of myself, and of my band, hussy, in gaming, drinking, and whoring? man too. A woman knows how to be mercen- have you money enough to carry on the daily ary, though she hath never been at court, or at quarrels of man and wife, about who shall squanan assembly: we have it in our natures, papa. If der most? There are not many husbands and I allow captain Macheath some trifling liberties
, wives who can bear the charges of plaguing one I have this watch and other visible marks of his another in a handsome way. If you must be favour to shew for it. A girl, who cannot grant married, could you introduce nobody into our some things, and refuse what is most material, family but a highwayman? Why, thou foolish will make but a poor hand of her beauty, and jade, thou wilt be as ill used, and as much nesoon be thrown upon the common.
glected, as if thou hadst married a lord !