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that she seems the cobler's wife, and have charmed her face into the likeness of my lady's; and last night, when the storm arose, my spirits conveyed them to each other's bed.

Sir John. Oh, wretch! thou hast undone me! I am fallen from the height of all my hopes, and must still be curst with a tempestuous wife; a fury whom I never knew quiet since I had her. Doc. If that be all, I can continue the charm for both their lives.

Sir John. Let the event be what it will, I'll hang you if you do not end the charm this in

stant.

Doc. I will this minute, sir; and, perhaps, you'll find it the luckiest of your life; I can assure you, your lady will prove the better for it.

Sir John. Hold; there's one material circumstance I'd know.

Doc. Your pleasure, sir?

Sir John. Perhaps the cobler has-you understand me?

Doc. I do assure you, no; for ere she was conveyed to his bed, the cobler was got up to work, and he has done nought but beat her ever since. And you are like to reap the fruits of his labour. He'll be with you in a minute; here he

comes.

Enter JOBSON.

pened! it has amazed us; my lady was in so great
a swoon, we thought she had been dead.
Let. And when she came to herself, she proved
another woman.

Job. Ha, ha, ha! A bull, a bull!

Lucy. She is so changed, I knew her not; I never saw her face before: O lud! Is this my lady?

Let. We shall be mauled again.

Lucy. I thought our happiness was too great to last.

Lady. Fear not, my servants. It shall hereafter be my endeavour to make you happy.

Sir John. Persevere in this resolution, and we shall be blest indeed, for life.

Enter NELL.

Nell. My head turns round; I must go home. O Zekel! Are you there!

Job. O lud! Is that fine lady my wife? Egad, I'm afraid to come near her. What can be the meaning of this?

Sir John. This is a happy change, and I'll have it celebrated with all the joy I proclaimed for my late short-lived vision.

Lady. To me, 'tis the happiest day I ever knew.

Sir John. Here, Jobson, take thy fine wife. Job. But one word, sir. Did not your worship make a buck of me, under the rose?

Sir John. So, Jobson, where's your wife? Job. And please your worship, she's here at Sir John. No, upon my honour, nor ever kisthe door, but, indeed, I thought I had lost her sed her lips till I came from hunting; but since just now; for as she came into the hall, she fell she has been a means of bringing about this hapinto such a swoon, that I thought she would ne-py change, I'll give thee five hundred pounds ver come out on't again; but a tweak or two by the nose, and half a dozen straps, did the business at last. Here, where are you, housewife? Enter LADY.

Put. [Holds up the candle, but lets it fall when he sees her.]-O heaven and earth! Is this my lady?

Job. What does he say? My wife changed to my lady!

Cook. Ay; I thought the other was too good for our lady.

Lady. [To SIR JOHN.]-Sir, you are the person I have most offended, and here I confess I have been the worst of wives in every thing, but that I always kept myself chaste. If you can vouchsafe once more to take me to your bosom, the remainder of my days shall joyfully be spent in duty, and observance of your will.

Sir John. Rise, madam; I do forgive you; and if you are sincere in what you say, you'll make me happier than all the enjoyments in the world, without you, could do.

home with her; go, buy a stock of leather.

Job. Brave boys! I'm a prince, the prince of coblers. Come hither and kiss me, Ñell; I'll never strap thee more.

Nell. Indeed, Zekel, I have been in such a dream, that I'm quite weary of it.-[To JOBSON.] Forsooth, madam, will you please to take your clothes, and let me have mine again?

[TO LADY LOVERULE. Job. Hold your tongue, you fool; they'll serve you to go to church. [Aside. Lady. No, thou shalt keep them, and I'll preserve thine as reliques.

Job. And can your ladyship forgive my strapping your honour so very much?

Lady. Most freely. The joy of this blessed change sets all things right again.

Sir John. Let us forget every thing that is past, and think of nothing now but joy and pleasure.

Job. What a pox! Am I to lose my wife thus?
Enter Lucy and LETTICE.

Lady.

Lucy. Oh, sir! the strangest accident has hap

AIR.-Hey boys, up go we!

Let every face with smiles appear,
Be joy in every breast;

Since from a life of pain and care,

We now are truly blest.

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SCENE I-PEACHUM's house.

A lawyer's is an honest employment; so is mine: like me, too, he acts in a double capacity, both

PEACHUM Sitting at a table, with a large book of against rogues and for them; for 'tis but fitting

accounts before him.

AIR.-An old woman clothed in gray.

THROUGH all the employments of life,
Each neighbour abuses his brother,

Whore and rogue they call husband and wife;
All professions berogue one another :
The priest calls the lawyer a cheat,
The lawyer beknaves the divine,

And the statesman, because he's so great,
Thinks his trade as honest as mine.

that we should protect and encourage cheats, since we live by them.

Enter FILCH.

Filch. Sir, Black Moll hath sent word her trial comes on in the afternoon; and she hopes you will order matters so as to bring her off.

Peach. Why, she may plead her belly at worst; to my knowledge, she hath taken care of that security: but, as the wench is very active and industrious, you may satisfy her, that I'll soften the evidence.

Filch. Tom Gagg, sir, is found guilty. Peach. A lazy dog! when I took him the time before, I told him what he would come to if he did not mend his hand-This is death, without reprieve. I may venture to book him [Writes.]: for Tom Gagg, forty pounds. Let Betty Sly know, that I'll save her from transportation; for I can get more by her staying in England.

Filch. Betty hath brought more goods into our lock this year, than any five of the gang; and, in truth, 'tis pity to lose so good a customer.

Peach. If none of the gang takes her off, she may, in the common course of business, live a twelvemonth longer. I love to let women 'scape. | A good sportsman always lets the hen-partridges fly, because the breed of the game depends upon them. Besides, here the law allows us no reward. There is nothing to be got by the death of women-except our wives.

I don't know a prettier fellow; for no man alive hath a more engaging presence of mind upon the road. Wat Dreary, alias Brown Will; an irregular dog! who hath an underhand way of disposing of his goods. I'll try him only for a sessions or two longer upon his good behaviour. Harry Paddington-a poor petty-larceny rascal, without the least genius! that fellow, though he were to live these six months, will never come to the gallows with any credit! Slippery Sam; he goes off the next sessions; for the villain hath the impudence to have views of following his trade as a tailor, which he calls an honest employment, Mat of the Mint, listed not above a month ago; a promising sturdy fellow, and diligent in his way! somewhat too bold and hasty, and may raise good contributions on the public, if he does not cut himself short by murder. Tom Tipple; a guzzling, soaking sot, who is always too drunk to stand himself, or to make others stand! A cart is absolutely necessary for him. Robin of Bagshot, alias Gorgon, alias Bluff Bob, alias Car

Filch. Without dispute she is a fine woman! 'twas to her I was obliged for my education. To say a bold word, she hath trained up more young fellows to the business than the gaming-buncle, alias Bob Booty——— table.

Peach. Truly, Filch, thy observation is right. We, and the surgeons, are more beholden to women than all the profesions besides.

AIR.-The bonny grey-ey'd morn, &c.

Filch. Tis woman that seduces all mankind;
By her we first were taught the wheedling arts;
Her very eyes can cheat: when most she's kind,
She tricks us of our money, with our hearts!
For her, like wolves, by night we roam for prey,
And practise ev'ry fraud to bribe her charms;
For suits of love, like law, are won by pay,
And beauty must be fee'd into our arms.

Peach. But make haste to Newgate, boy, and let my friends know what I intend: for I love to make them easy one way or other.

Filch. When a gentleman is long kept in suspense, penitence may break his spirit ever after. Besides, certainty gives a man a good air upon his trial, and makes him risk another without fear or scruple. But I'll away; for 'tis a pleasure to be the messenger of comfort to friends in afflic[Exit.

tion.

Enter MRS PEACHUM.

Mrs Peach. What of Bob Booty, husband? I hope nothing bad hath betided him? You know, my dear, he's a favourite customer of mine; 'twas he made me a present of this ring.

Peach. I have set his name down in the blacklist; that's all, my dear! he spends his life among women, and, as soon as his money is gone, one or other of the ladies will hang him for the reward; and there's forty pounds lost to us for ever!

Mrs Peach. You know, my dear, I never meddle in matters of death; I always leave those affairs to you. Women, indeed, are bitter bad judges in these cases; for they are so partial to the brave, that they think every man handsome who is going to the camp or the gallows.

AIR.-Cold and raw, &c.

If any wench Venus's girdle wear,
Though she be never so ugly,
Lilies and roses will quickly appear,
And her face look wondrous smuggly.
Beneath the left ear, so fit but a cord,
(A rope so charming a zone is!)

The youth, in his cart, hath the air of a lord,
And we cry, There dies an Adonis !

Peach. But it is now high time to look about me for a decent execution against next sessions. I hate a lazy rogue, by whom one can get nothing till he is hanged. A register of the gang. [Read ing.] Crook-fingered Jack, a year and a half in the service: let me see how much the stock owes to his industry; one, two, three, four, five gold watches, and seven silver ones. A mighty cleanhanded fellow! Sixteen snuff-boxes, five of them of true gold; six dozen of handkerchiefs, four sil-ly, my dear, that is a great blessing. ver-hilted swords, half a dozen of shifts, three Peach. What a dickens is the woman always tie-periwigs, and a piece of broad cloth. Consi- a whimpering about murder for? No gentleman dering these are only fruits of his leisure hours, is ever looked upon the worse for killing a man

But really, husband, you should not be too hardhearted; for you never had a finer, braver set of men, than at present. We have not had a murder among them all these seven months; and, tru

in his own defence; and, if business cannot be carried on without it, what would you have a gentleman do?

Mrs Peach. If I am in the wrong, my dear, you must excuse me; for nobody can help the frailty of an over scrupulous conscience.

Peach. Murder is as fashionable a crime as a man can be guilty of. How many fine gentlemen have we in Newgate every year, purely upon that article? If they have wherewithal to persuade the jury to bring it in manslaughter, what are they the worse for it? So, my dear, have done upon this subject. Was captain Macheath here this morning for the banknotes he left with you last week?

her livelihood to grant every liberty but one. You see I would indulge the girl as far as prudently we can in any thing but marriage: after that, my dear, how shall we be safe? Are we not then in her husband's power? for the husband hath the absolute power over all a wife's secrets but her own. If the girl had the discretion of a court-lady, who can have a dozen of young fellows at her ear, without complying with one, I should not matter it: but Polly is tinder, and a spark will at once set her in a flame. Married! if the wench does not know her own profit, sure she knows her own pleasure better than to make herself a property! My daughter, to me, should be like a court-lady to a minister of state Mrs Peuch. Yes, my dear; and, though the key to the whole gang. Married! if the afbank hath stopt payment, he was so cheerful, and fair is not already done, I'll terrify her from it, so agreeable! Sure there is not a finer gentle-by the example of our neighbours. man upon the road than the captain! If he comes from Bagshot at any reasonable hour, he hath promised to make one this evening with Polly, me, and Bob Booty, at a party at quadrille. Pray, my dear, is the captain rich?

-a

Mrs Peach. Mayhap, my dear, you may injure the girl: she loves to imitate the fine ladies, and she may only allow the captain liberties in the view of interest.

Peach. But 'tis your duty, my dear, to warn Peach. The captain keeps too good company the girl against her ruin, and to instruct her how ever to grow rich. Marybone and the chocolate-to make the most of her beauty. I'll go to her houses are his undoing. The man, that proposes to get money by play, should have the education of a fine gentleman, and be trained up to it from his youth.

Mrs Peach. Really I am sorry, upon Polly's account, the captain hath not more discretion. What business hath he to keep company with lords and gentlemen? he should leave them to prey upon one another.

Peach. Upon Polly's account! What a plague does the woman mean? Upon Polly's account! Mrs Peach. Captain Macheath is very fond of the girl.

Peach. And what then?

Mrs Peach. If I have any skill in the ways of women, I am sure Polly thinks him a very pretty

man.

Peach. And what then? you would not be so mad to have the wench marry him? Gamesters and highwaymen are generally very good to their whores, but they are very devils to their wives.

Mrs Peach. But if Polly should be in love, how should we help her, or how can she help herself? Poor girl! I'm in the utmost concern about her.

AIR.-Why is your faithful slave disdained?

If love the virgin's heart invade,
How, like a moth, the simple maid
Still plays about the flame!
If soon she be not made a wife,
Her honour's singed, and then for life
She's what I dare not naine.

Peach. Look ye, wife, a handsome wench, in our way of business, is as profitable as at the bar of a Temple coffee-house, who looks upon it as

this moment, and sift her. In the mean time, wife, rip out the coronets and marks of these dozen of cambric handkerchiefs; for I can dispose of them this afternoon to a chap in the city.

[Exit.

Mrs Peach. Never was a man more out of the way in an argument than my husband! Why must our Polly, forsooth, differ from her sex, and love only her husband? And why must Polly's marriage, contrary to all observation, make her the less followed by other men? All men are thieves in love, and like a woman the better for being another's property.

AIR. Of all the simple things we do, &c.

A maid is like the golden ore,
Which hath guineas intrinsical in't,
Whose worth is never known before
It is tried and impressed in the mint.
A wife's like a guinea in gold,
Stampt with the name of her spouse:
Now here, now there, is bought or is sold,
And is current in every house.

Enter FILCH.

Come hither, Filch! I am as fond of this child as though my mind misgave me he were my own. He hath as Sve a hand at picking a pocket as a woman, and is as nimble-fingered as a juggler. If an unlucky session does not cut the rope of thy life, 1 pronounce, boy, thou wilt be a great man in history. Where was your post last night, my boy?

Fuch. I ply'd at the opera, madam; and, con sidering 'twas neither dark nor rainy, so that there

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