3 Mob. Marry come up, what valuation can she be?-But, have they taken nothing else? Arg. Would they had stript my house of every pennyworth, so they had left my child!

1 Mob. That's a lie, I believe; for he loves his money more than his soul, and wouid sooner part with that than a groat.

Arg. This is the captain's doings, but I'll have him hanged.

Rob. But where are the thieves?

Arg. Gone, gone, beyond all hopes of pursuit.

2 Mob. What! are they gone? Then, come neighbours, let us go in, and kill every mother's child of them.

Are. Sir, I hope my husband's company is not criminal!

Arg. Your husband! who's your husband, housewife? that scoundrel? Captain-Out of my sight, thou ungracious wretch !—I'll go make my will this instant--and you, you villain! how dare you look me in the face after all this?I'll have you hanged, sirrah! I will so.

Hear. O fie, brother Argus! moderate your passion. It ill becomes the friendship you owe Ned Worthy, to vilify and affront his only child, and for no other crime than improving that friendship which has ever been between us.

Arg. Ha! my dear friend alive! I heard thou wert dead in the Indies-And is that thy son? and my godson, too, if I am not mistaken?

Hear. The very same-the last and best remains of our family; forced by my wife's cruelty, and my absence, to the army. My wife is since dead, and the son she had by her former husband, whom she intended to heir my estate; but fortune guided me by chance to my dear boy, who, after twenty years absence, and changing my name, knew me not, till I just now discovered myself to him and your fair daughter, whom I will make him deserve by thirty thousand pounds, which I brought from India, besides what real estate I may leave at my death.

Arg. And to match that, old boy, my daughter shall have every penny of mine, besides her uncle's legacy-Ah! you young rogue, had I known you, I would not have used you so rough

Rob. [Aside.] I don't care what you do, for the job's over; I see my master a-coming. Arg. Why don't you seize him, I say? Mob. Not we; we have lost too much time about an old fool already.

2 Mob. Ay; the next time you're bound and gagged, you shall lie and be damned for me!

3 Mob. Ay, and me, too; come along, neighbours, come along. [Exeunt Mob. Enter ROVEWELL, HEARTY, ARETHUSA, and BETTY.

Arg. Bless me! who have we got here? O Thusy! Thusy! I had rather never have seen thee again, than have found you in such com

pany.

bravely, take her, and welcome-But you must excuse all faults-the old man meant all for the best; you must not be angry.

Rov. Sir, on the contrary, we ought to beg your pardon for the many disquiets we have given you; and, with your pardon, we crave your blessing. [They kneel. Arg. You have it, children, with all my heart. Adod, I am so transported, I don't know whether I walk or fly!

Are. May your joy be everlasting!
ROVEWELL and ARETHUSA, embracing.
DUETTO.

Thus fondly caressing,

My idol, my treasure,
How great is the blessing!
How sweet is the pleasure!
With joy I behold thee,

And doat on thy charms;
Thus while I enfold thee,

I've heaven in my arms.

[Exeunt omnes.

canting, brawling, fanatical shrew.

LUCY, }her maids.

LETTICE,

NELL, JOBSON's wife, an innocent country girl. Tenants, servants.

Достов.

SCENE I.-The cobler's house.

JOBSON and NELL.

Nell. PRITHEE, good Jobson, stay with me to-night, and for once make merry at home.

Job. Peace, peace, you jade, and go spin; for, if I lack any thread for my stitching, I will punish you by virtue of my sovereign authority.

Nell. Ay, marry, no doubt of that; whilst you take your swing at the alehouse, spend your substance, get drunk as a beast, then come home like a sot, and use one like a dog.

Job. Nounz! do you prate? Why, how now, brazen-face, do you speak ill of the government? VOL. III.

Don't you know, hussy, that I am king in my own house, and that this is treason against my majesty?

Nell. Did ever one hear such stuff! But, I pray you now, Jobson, don't go to the alchouse to-night!

Job. Well, I'll humour you for once; but don't grow saucy upon't; for I am invited by sir John Loverule's butler, and am to be princely drunk with punch, at the hall place; we shall have a bowl large enough to swim in.

Nell. But they say, husband, the new lady will not suffer a stranger to enter her doors; she grudges even a draught of small beer to her own servants;

E

and several of the tenants have come home with broken heads from her ladyship's own hands, only for smelling strong beer in the house.

Job. A pox on her for a fanatical jade! she has almost distracted the good knight: But she's now abroad, feasting with her relations, and will scarce come home to-night; and we are to have much drink, a fiddle, and merry gambols!

Nell. O dear husband! let me go with you; we'll be as merry as the night's long!

Job. Why, how now, you bold baggage! would you be carried to a company of smooth-faced, eating, drinking, lazy serving-men? no, no, you jade, I'll not be a cuckold.

Nell. I'm sure they would make me welcome; you promised I should see the house, and the family has not been here before, since you married and brought me home.

Job. Why, thou most audacious strumpet, dar'st thou dispute with me, thy lord and master? Get in and spin, or else my strap shall wind about thy ribs most confoundedly.

AIR.-The Twitcher.

He that has the best wife,
She's the plague of his life;

But for her that will scold and will quarrel,
Let him cut her off short

Of her meat and her sport,

And ten times a day hoop her barrel, brave boys! And ten times a day hoop her barrel.

But. Ay, rest her soul, she was so; but this is inspired with a legion of devils, who make her lay about her like a fury.

Lucy. I am sure I always feel her in my bones: if her complexion don't please her, or she looks yellow in a morning, I am sure to look black and blue for it before night.

Cook. Pox on her! I dare not come within her reach. I have some six broken heads already. A lady, quotha! a she-bear is a civiler animal.

Foot. Heaven help my poor master! this devilish termagant scolding woman will be the death of him; I never saw a man so altered all the days of my life.

Cook. There's a perpetual motion in that tongue of hers, and a damned shrill pipe, enough to break the drum of a man's ear.

Enter blind Fiddler, JOBSON, and neighbours.

Nell. Well, we poor women must always slaves, and never have any joy; but you men run and ramble at your pleasure.

Job. Why, you most pestilent baggage, will you be hooped? Be gone.

Nell. I must obey.

[Going. Job. Stay! now I think on't, here's sixpence for you; get ale and apples, stretch and puff thyself up with lamb's-wool, rejoice and revel by thyself, be drunk, and wallow in thy own sty, like a grumbling sow as thou art.

But. Come, Jobson, we'll bring out our bowl of punch in solemn procession; and then for a song to crown our happiness.

[They all go out, and return with a bowl of punch.]

AIR.-Charles of Sweden.

Come jolly Bacchus, god of wine,
Crown this night with pleasure;
Let none at cares of life repine,

To destroy our pleasure :
Fill up the mighty sparkling bowl,
That every true and loyal soul
May drink and sing without controul,

To support our pleasure.

Thus, mighty Bacchus, shalt thou be
Guardian of our pleasure;
That, under thy protection, we
May enjoy new pleasure.
And as the hours glide away,
We'll, in thy name, invoke their stay,
And sing thy praises, that we may
Live and die with pleasure.

AIR.

Here's a good health to the king,
And send him a prosperous reign;
O'er hills and high mountains,
We'll drink dry the fountains,
Until the sun rises again, brave boys!
Until the sun rises again.

Then, here's to thee, my boy boon,
And here's to thee, my boy boon;
As we've tarried all day

For to drink down the sun,

So we'll tarry and drink down the moon, brave boys!

So we'll tarry and drink down the moon.

Omnes. Huzza!

Enter SIR JOHN, and LADY.

-Lady. O Heaven and earth! What's here with in my doors? Is hell broke loose? What troops of fiends are here? Sirrah, you impudent rascal, speak!

Sir John. For shame, my dear!————As this is a time of mirth and jollity, it has always been the custom of my house, to give my servants liberty in this season, and to treat my country neighbours, that with innocent sports they may divert themselves.

Lady. I say, meddle with your own affairs; I will govern my own house, without your putting Shall I ask leave to correct my own

in an oar.

servants?

Sir John. I thought, madam, this had been my house, and these my tenants and servants.

Lady. Did I bring a fortune, to be thus abused, and snubbed before people? Do you call my authority in question, ungrateful man? Look you to your dogs and horses abroad, but it shail be my province to govern here; nor will I be controuled by e'er a hunting, hawking knight in Christendom.

AIR.-Set by MR SEEDO.

Sir John. Ye gods! you gave to me a wife,
Out of your grace and favour,
To be the comfort of my life,
And I was glad to have her:
But if your Providence Divine,
For greater bliss design her,
To obey your wills at any time
I am ready to resign her.

This it is to be married to a continual tempest.
Strife and noise, canting and hypocrisy, are eter-
nally afloat.-'Tis impossible to bear it long.
Lady. Ye filthy scoundrels, and odious jades!

2

sions; I shall be devoured at this rate.

But. I thought, madam, we might be merry once upon a holiday.

Lady. Holiday, you popish cur! Is one day more holy than another? and if it be, you'll be sure to get drunk upon it, you rogue! [Beats him.] You minx, yon impudent flirt, are you jigging it after an abominable fiddle? all dancing is whorish, hussy! [Lugs her by the ears.

Lucy. O lud! she has pulled off both my ears. Sir John. Pray, madam, consider your sex and quality! I blush for your behaviour.

Lady. Consider your incapacity; you shall not instruct me. Who are you, thus muffled? you buzzard! [She beats them all; JOBSON steals by.

Job. I am an honest, plain, psalm-singing cob‐ bler, madam; if your ladyship would but go to church, you might hear me above all the rest there.

Lady. I'll try thy voice here first, villain! [Strikes him. Job. Nounz! what a pox, what a devil ails

you?

Lady. O profane wretch! wicked varlet! Sir John. For shame! your behaviour is monstrous !

Lady. Was ever poor lady so miserable in a brutish husband as I am? I, that am so pious, and so religious a woman!

Job. [Sings.] He that has the best wife,
She's the plague of his life,
But for her that will scold and will quarrel-
[Exit JOB.

Lady. O rogue, scoundrel, villain !
Sir John. Remember modesty.
Lady. I'll rout you all with a vengeance; I'll
spoil your squeaking treble.

[Beats the fiddle about the blind man's head. Fid. O murder, murder! I am a dark man; which way shall I get hence? Oh Heaven! she has broke my fiddle, and undone me and my wife and children.

Sir John. Here, poor fellow! take your staff and be gone: There's money to buy you two such; that's your way. [Exit fiddler.

Lady. Methinks you are very liberal, sir; must my estate maintain you in your profuseness? Sir John. Go up to your closet, pray, and compose your mind.

Lady. O wicked man! to bid me pray!

Sir John. A man can't be completely curst, I see, without marriage; but, since there is such a thing as separate maintenance, she shall to morrow enjoy the benefit of it.

AIR.-Of all comforts I miscarried.
Of the states in life so various,
Marriage, sure, is most precarious;
'Tis a maze so strangely winding,
Still we are new mazes finding;

'Tis an action so severe,

That nought but death can set us clear. Happy's the man, from wedlock free, Who knows to prize his liberty:

Were man wary How they marry,

We should not be by half so full of misery,

[Knocking at the door.] Here, where are my servants? Must they be frighted from me?-Within there-see who knocks.

Lady. Within there!-Where are my sluts? Ye drabs, ye queans-Lights there!

Enter Servants sneaking, with candles. But. Sir, it is a doctor that lives ten miles off; he practises physic, and is an astrologer: your worship knows him very well; he is a cunning man, makes almanacks, and can help people to their goods again.

Enter Doctor.

Doc. Sir, I humbly beg your honour's pardon for this unseasonable intrusion; but I am benighted, and 'tis so dark that I can't possibly find my way home; and knowing your worship's hospitality, desire the favour to be harboured under your roof to-night.

Lady. Out of my house, you lewd conjurer, you magician!

Doc. Here's a turn!-Here's a change!-Well, if I have any art, ye shall smart for this. [Aside. Sir John. You see, friend, I am not master of my own house; therefore, to avoid any uneasiness, go down the lane about a quarter of a mile, and you'll see a cobler's cottage; stay there a little, and I'll send my servant to conduct you to a tenant's house, where you'll be well entertained.

Doc. I thank you, sir; I'm your most humble servant. But, as for your lady there, she shall this night feel my resentment. [Exit.

Sir John. Come, madam; you and I must have some conference together.

Lady. Yes, I will have a conference and a reformation, too, in this house, or I'll turn it upside down-I will.

Doc. Thank you heartily, good woman, and to requite your civility, I'll tell you your fortune. Nell. O, pray do, sir; I never had my fortune told me in my life,

Doc. Let me behold the lines of your face. Nell. I'm afraid, sir, 'tis none of the cleanest; I have been about dirty work all this day.

Doc. Come, come, 'tis a good face; be not ashamed of it; you shall shew it in greater places suddenly.

Nell. O dear sir, I shall be mightily ashamed! I want dacity when I come before great folks. Doc. You must be confident, and fear nothing; there is much happiness attends you.

Nell. Oh me! this is a rare man! Heaven be thanked!

Doc. To morrow, before sunrise, you shall be the happiest woman in this country. Nell. How! by to-morrow? alack-a-day! sir, how can that be?

Doc. No more shall you be troubled with a surly husband, that rails at, and straps you.

Nell. Lud! how came he to know that? he must be a conjurer! Indeed my husband is some¬ what rugged, and in his cups will beat me, but it is not much. He's an honest pains-taking man, and I let him have his way. Pray, sir, take the other cup of ale. Doc. I thank you.-Believe me, to-morrow you shall be the richest woman in the hundred, and ride in your own coach.

Nell. O father! you jeer me.

Doc. By my art, I do not. But mark my words; be confident, and bear all out, or worse will follow.

Nell. Never fear, sir, I warrant yougemini! a coach!

AIR.-Send home my long-strayed eyes.

My swelling heart now leaps for joy,
And riches all my thoughts employ;
No more shall people call me Nell,
Her ladyship will do as well.
Decked in my golden, rich array,
I'll in my chariot roll away,
And shine at ring, at ball, and play.

Enter JOBSON.

Job. Where is this quean? Here, Nell! What a pox, are you drunk with your lamb's-wool ? Nell. O husband! here's the rarest man-he has told me my fortune!

Job. Has he so and planted my fortune, too! a lusty pair of horns upon my head!— Eh?—Is it not so?

Doc. Thy wife is a virtuous woman, and thou wilt be happy.

Job. Come out, you hang-dog, you juggler, you cheating, bamboozling villain! must I be cuckold

and almanack-makers!