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Quid. What, and am I
Raz. [Looks at him.) Oh, my dear sir! [EmTer. More misfortunes! here comes the braces him, and powders him all ooer.] 'tis be watch.
sure enough! I remember the mole on his cheek Quid. The best news I ever heard!
-I shaved his first beard.
Quid. Just returned from the West Indies, I Enter Watchman.
suppose? Here, thieves ! robbery! murder! I charge Rove. Yes, sir; the owner of a rich plantathem both; take them directly.
tion. Watch. Stand and deliver in the king's name ! Quid. What, by studying politics? seize them; knock them down !
Rove. By a rich planter's widow; and I have Bel. Don't frighten the lady; here's my sword; now fortune enough to make you happy in your I surrender.
Rove. You scoundrels ! Stand off, rascals ! Raz. And I hope I shall shave him again? Watch. Down with him! down with bim ! Rove. So thou shalt, honest Razor. In the
[Fight. mean time, let me entreat you bestow my sister
upon my friend Belmour here. Enter Razor, with the Gazette in his hand,
Quid. He may take her as soon as he pleases ; Raz. What, a fray at my master Quidnunc's! 'twill make an excellent paragraph in the news. knock him down ! knock him down !
papers. (Folds up the Gazette, puts himself in a boring Ter. There, madam, calcine your person to
attitude, and fights with the watchmen.] him. Quid. That's right; hold him fast!
Quid. What are the Spaniards doing in the [Watchmen seize RoveWELL. Bay of Honduras ? Rove. You have overpowered me, you rascals ! Rove. Truce with politics for the present, if
Ter. I believe as sure as any thing, as how you please, sir. We'll think of our own affairs he's a highwayman, and as how it was he that first, before we concern ourselves about the barobbed the mail.
lance of power. Quid. What! rob the mail, and stop all the Raz. With all my heart; I'ng rare happy! pews! Search him, search bim! he may have the letters belonging to the mail in his pockets Come, Mr Quidnunc, now with news ha' done, now: Ay, here's one letter, '. To Mr Abraham Blessed in your wealth, your daughter, and your Quidnunc.' Let's see what it is - Your dutiful
son; son, John Quidnunc.'
May discord cease, faction no more be seen : Rove. That's my name, and Rovewell was but Be high and low for country, king, and queen. assumed.
you that this young lady, my friend's warda Enter Sır CHARLES CLACKIT, YOUNG CLACKIT,
has a liking to you? The young fellows of this
age are all coxcombs; and, I am afraid, you are and Servant.
uo exception to this general rule. Ser. PLEASE to walk this way, sir.
Young Cla. Thank you, uncle; but, may I this Sir Cha. Where is your master, friend? instant be struck old and peevish, if I would put Ser. In his dressing-room, sir,
vou upon a false scent to expose you, for all the Young Cla. Let him know, then
fine women in Christendom. I assure you again Sir Cha. Prithee, be quiet, Jack; when I am and again, and you may take my word, uncle, that in company, let me direct. 'Tis proper and de- Miss Harriet has no kind of aversion to your ne
phew and most humble servant. Young Cla. I am dumb, sir.
Sir Cha. Ay, ay, vanity, vanity! but I never Sir Cha. Tell Mr Heartly, his friend and neigh- take a young fellow's word about women; they'll bour, Sir Charles Clackit, would say three words lie as fast, and with as little conscience, as the to him.
Brussels Gazette. Produce your proofs.
[Erit Ser. Young Cla. Can't your eyes see them, uncle, Sir Cha. Now, nephew, consider once again, without urging me to the indelicacy of repeating before I open the matter to my neighbour Heart-them? ly, what I'am going to undertake for you. Why Sir Cha. Why, I see nothing but a fool's head don't you speak!
and a fool's coat, supported by a pair of most Young Clu. Is it proper and decent, uncle? unpromising legs. Have you no better proofs?
Sir Cha. Psha ! don't be a fool, but answer Young Cla. Yes, I have, my good infidel an. ne-Don't you flatter yourself!-- What assurance cle, half a hundred,
Sir Cha. Out with them, then.
Sir Cha. No, faith, I am serious; and had I Young Cla. First, then-Whenever I see her, a daughter to recommend to you, you should say she never looks at me :- That's a sign of love.- me nay more than once, I assure you, neighbour Whenever I speak to her, she never answers me: Heartly, before I would quit you. Another sign of love.—And whenever I speak to Heart. I am much obliged to you. any body else, she seems to be perfectly easy:- Sir Cha. But, indeed, you are a little too much That's a certain sign of love.
of the philosopher, to think of being troubled with Sir Cha. The devil it is !
women and their concerns. Young Cla. When I am with her she is always Heart. I beg your pardon, sir Charles Though grave; and the moment I get up to leave ber, there are many who call themselves philosophers, then the poor thing begins :- Why will you leave that live single, and, perhaps, are in the right of me, Mr Clackit? can't you sacrifice a few mo- it, yet, I cannot think that marriage is at all inments to my bashfulness ? —Stay, you agreeable consistent with true philosophy.---A wise man runaway, stay; I shall soon overcome the fears will resolve to live like the rest of the world, with your presence gives me.'- I could say more- this only difference, that he is neither a slave to But a man of honour, uncle
passions nor events. It is not because I have a Sir Cha. What, and has she said all these little philosophy, but because I am on the wrong things to you?
side of forty, sir Charles, that I desire to be exYoung Cla. O yes, and ten times more--with cused.
Sir Cha. As you please, sir; and, now, to my Sir Cha. With her eyes ! ---Eyes are very equi- business.---You have no objection, I suppose, to vocal, Jack.---However, if the young lady has tie up your ward, Miss Harriet, though you have any liking to you, Mr Heartly is too much a slipped the collar yourself? ha, ha, ha! man of the world, and too much my friend, to Heart. Quite the contrary, sir; I have taken oppose the match ; so do you walk into the gar- her some time from the boarding school, and den, and I will open the matter to him.
brought her home, in order to dispose of her Young Cla. Is there any objection to my stay-worthily, with her own inclination. ing, uncle? The business will be soon ended Sir Cha. Her father, I have heard you say, reyou will propose the match; he will give his con- commended that particular care to you, when sent, I shall give mine; miss is sent for, and l'af- she had reached a certain age. fair est fait.
[Snapping his finger. Heart. He did so; and I am th Sir Cha. And so you think that a young heau- rous to obey him scrupulously in this circumstance, tiful heiress, with forty thousand pounds, is to as she will be a most valuable acquisition to the be had with a scrap of French, and a snap of person who shall gain her; for, not to mention your finger? Prithee get away, and don't pro her fortune, which is the least consideration, her voke me.
sentiments are worthy her birth; she is gentle, Young Cla. Nay, but my
dear uncle modest, and obliging.' In a word, my friend, I Sir Cha. Nay, but my impertinent nephew, never saw youth more ainiable or discreet; but, either retire, or I'll throw up the game.
perhaps, I am a little partial to her.
[Putting him out. Sir Cha. No, no; she is a delicious creature, Young Cla. Well, well, I am gone, uncle.-- every body says so. But, I believe, neighbour, When you come to the point, I shall be ready to something has happened that you little think of. make my appearance.---Bon voyage ! [Erit. Heart. What I pray, sir Charles ?
Sir Cha. The devil's in these young fellows, I Sir Cha. My nephew, Mr Heartlythink We send them abroad to cure their sheepishness, and they get above proof the other
Enter Young CLACKIT. way.
Young Cla. Here I am, at your service, sirEnter MR HEARTLY.
my uncle is a little unhappy in his manner; but,
I'll clear the matter in a moment--- Miss Harriet, Good-morrow to you, neighbour.
sir-your ward--Heart. And to you, sir Charles; I am glad to
Sir Cha. Get away, you puppy! see you so strong and healthy.
Young Cla. Miss Ilarriet, sir, your warda Sir Cha. I can return you the compliment, my most accomplished young lady, to be sure, friend: Without Aattery, you don't look more Sir Cha. Thou art a most accomplished corthan thirty-five ; and, between ourselves, you are comb, to be sure ! on the wrong side of forty---But mum for that. Heart. Pray, sir Charles, let the young
gentle Heart. Ease and tranquillity keep me as you man speak.
Young Cla. You'll excuse me, Mr Heartly Sir Cha. Why don't you marry, neighbour? A My uncle does not set up for an orator--little good wife would do well for you.
confused, or so, sir--- You see me what I amHeart. For me! You are pleased to be merry, But I ought to ask pardon for the young lady and sir Charles.
myself.--We are young, sir--I niust confess we
were wrong to conceal it from you—But my un- Heart. [To Sir Ch.]---We have gone too far, cle, I see, is pleased to be angry; and, therefore, sir Charles. We must excuse her delicacy, and I shall say no more at present.
give her time to recover : I had better talk with Sir Cha. If you don't leave the room this mo- her alone; we will leave her now. Be persuadment, and stay in the garden till I call you-
ed, that no endeavours shall be wanting, on my Young Cla. I am sorry I have displeased you part, to bring this affair to a happy and speedy -I did not think it was mal-a-propos; but you conclusion. must have your way, uncle--You command---I Sir Cha. I shall be obliged to you, Mr Heartsubmit--- Mr Heartly, yours.
ly. Young lady, your servant. What
and (Erit Young ClackiT. modesty! She is a most engaging creature, and I Sir Cha. Puppy! (Aside.]. My nephew's a lit- shall be proud to make her one of my family. tle unthinking, Mr Heartly, as you see ; and, Heurt. You do us honour, sir Charles. therefore, I have been a little cautious how I
| Ereunt Sir Cha. and HEART. have proceeded in this affair : But, indeed, he Lucy. Indeed, Miss Harriet, you are very parhas in a manner persuaded me, that your ward ticular; you was tired of the boarding-school, and he are not ill together.
and yet seem to have no inclination to be marriHeart. Indeed! this is the first notice I have ed. What can be the meaning of all this ? that had of it, and I cannot conceive why Miss Har- smirking old gentleman is uncle to Mr Clackit; riet should conceal it from me; for I have often and, my life for it, he has made some proposals assured her, that I would never oppose her in- to your guardian. clination, though I might endeavour to direct it. Miss Har. Prithee, don't plague me about Mr
Sir Cha. 'Tis human nature, neighbour. WeClackit. are so ashamed of our first passion, that we Lucy. But why not, miss ? though he is a litwould willingly hide it from ourselves. But will tle fantastical, loves to hear himself talk, and is you mention my nephew to her?
somewhat self-sufficient; you must consider he Heart. I must beg your pardon, sir Charles. is young, has been abroad, and keeps good comThe name of the gentleman whom she chooses, pany: the trade will soon be at an end, if
young must first come from herself. My advice or im- ladies and gentlemen grow over nice and excepportunity shall never influence her: If guardians tious. would be less rigorous, young people would be
Miss Har. But if I can find one without these more reasonable; and I am so unfashionable to faults, I may surely please myself. think, that happiness in marriage can't be bought Lucy. Without these faults! and is he young, too dear-I am still on the wrong side of forty, miss ? sir Charles.
Miss Har. He is sensible, modest, polite, afSir Cha. No, no; you are right, neighbour.--- fable, and generous; and charms from the natuBut here she is. Don't alarm her young heart ral impulses of his own heart, as much as others too much, I beg of you. Upon my word, she is disgust by their senseless airs, and insolent affeca sweet morsel!
Lucy. Upon my word! But why have you Enter Miss HARRIET and Lucy. kept this secret so long? Your guardian is kind
to you beyond conception. What difficulties can Miss Har. He is with company--I'll speak to you have to overcome? him another time.
Miss Har. Why, the difficulty of declaring my
[Retiring. sentiments. Lucy. Young, handsome, and afraid of being Lucy. Leave that to me, miss. But your seen! You are very particular, miss.
spark, with all his accomplishments, must bave Heart. Miss Harriet, you must not go.--[Har- very little penetration, not to have discovered his RIET returns.)--Sir Charles, give me leave to in- good fortune in your eyes. troduce you to this young lady. You know, I Miss Hur. Iiake care that my eves don't tell suppose, the reason of this gentleman's visit to too much; and he has too much delicacy to inme?
[To HARRIET. terpret looks to his advantage. Besides, he Miss Har. Sir!
(Confused. would certainly disapprove my passion; and if I Heart. You may trust me, my dear. Don't should ever make the declaration, and meet with be disturbed; I shall not reproach you with any a denial, I should absolutely die with shame. thing but keeping your wishes a seci et from ine Lucy. I'll insure your life for a silver thimble. so long.
But what can possibly hinder your coming togeMiss Har. Upon my word, sir-- Lucy! ther?
Lucy. Well, and Lucy! I'll lay my life 'tis a Miss Har. His excess of merit. treaty of marriage! Is that such a dreadful Lucy. His excess of a fiddlestick! But come, thing? Oh, for shame, madam! Young ladies of I'll put you in the way : You shall trust me with fashion are not frightened at such things, now-a- the secret; I'll intrust it again to half a dozen days.
friends; they shall intrust it to half a dozen Vol. III.
more, by which means, it will travel half the sure assure you, that your passion is returned town over in a week's time: the gentleman will with equal tenderness. certainly hear of it; and then, if he is not at your Miss Har. If you are not deceived, I cannot feet in the fetching of a sigh, I'll give up all my be more happy. perquisites at your wedding. What is his name, Heart. I think I am not deceived. But, after miss?
the declaration you have made, and the assuMiss Har. I cannot tell you his name—indeed rances which I have given you, why will you conI cannot; I am afraid of being thought too sin- ceal it any longer? İlave I not deserved a little gular. But why should I be ashamed of my pas- inore confidence from you? sion? Is the impression, which a virtuous charac- Miss Har. You have, indeed, deserved it, and ter makes upon our hearts, such a weakness, that should certainly have it, were I not well assured it may not be excused?
oppose my inclinations. Lucy. By my faith, miss, I can't understand Heart. I oppose them! Am I, then, so unkind you: you are afraid of being thought singular, to you, my dear? Can you in the least doubt of aud you really are so; I would sooner renounce my affection for you? I promise you that I have all the passions in the universe, than have one in no will but yours. my bosom beating and fluttering itself to pieces. Miss Hur. Since you desire it, then, I will enCome, come, miss, open the window, and let the deavour to exp.ain myself. poor devil out.
Heart. I am all attention-speak, my dear.
Miss Har. And if I do, I feel I shall never be Enter IIEARTLY.
able to speak to you again.
Heart. How can that be, when I shall agree Heart. Leave us, Lucy.
with you in every thing? Lucy. There's something going forward: 'tis Miss Har. Indeed you won't :.pray let me revery hard I can't be of the party.
tire to my own chamber-I am not well, sir,
[Erit Lucy. Heart. I see your delicacy is hurt, my dear: Heart. She certainly thinks, from the charac- but let me intreat you once more to contide in ter of the young man, that I shall disapprove of me. Tell me his name, and the next moment I her choice.
(Aside. will go to him, and assure him, that niy consent Miss Har. What can I possibly say to him? I shall confirm both your happiness. am as much ashamed to make the declaration, as Miss Har. You will easily find him: And he would be to understand it.
[-side. when you have, pray tell bim how improper it is Heart. Don't imagine, my dear, that I would for a young woman to speak first: Persuade him know more of your thoughts than you desire I to spare my blushes, and to release me from so should; but the tender care which I have ever terrible a situation. I shall leave him with you shewn, and the sincere friendship which I shall -and hope that this declaration will make it imalways have for you, give me a sort of right to possible for you to mistake me any longer. enquire into every thing that concerns you. Some [Harriet is going, but, upon seeing Yor yg friends have spoken to me in particular. But
CLACKIT, remains upon the stage. that is not all. I have lately found you thought- Heart. Are we not alone? What can this ful, absent, and disturbed. Be plain with me--- mean?
[ Aside Has not somebody been happy enough to please Young Cla. A-propos, faith! bere they are tuyou?
gether! Miss Har. I cannot deny it, sir : yes : some- Heart. I did not see him; but now the ridbody, indeed, has pleased me--but I must intreat dle's explained.
Aside. you not to give credit to any idle stories, or in- Miss Har. What can he want now?
This is quire farther into the particulars of my inclina- the most spiteful interruption ! tion; for I cannot possibly have resolution Young Cla. By your leave, Mr Ileartlyenough to say more to you.
[Crosses him to go to Har.]-Have I caught you Heart. But have you made a choice, my dear? at last, my divine Harriet! Well, Mr Hearts,
Aliss Har. I have, in my own mind, sir; and sans facon-But what's the matter? ho! Things tis impossible to make a better--reason, honour, look a little gloomy here : One mutters to himevery thing must approve it.
self, and gives me no answer; and the other Heart. And how long have you conceived this turns the head, and winks at me. How the depassion?
vil am I to interpret all inis? Miss Har. Ever since I left the country--to Miss Har. I wink at you, sir ! Did I, sir? live with you.
Sighs. Young Cla. Yes, you, my angel-But mumHeart. I see your confusion, my dear, and Mr Heartly, for Ileaven's sake, what is all this? will relieve you from it immediately---I am in- Speal, I conjure you, is it life or death with formed of the whole Miss Har. Sir!
Miss Har. What a dreadful situation I am Heart, Don't be uneasy; for I can with plea- in!