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as bitter as gall, and as black as my hat; and Cad. Don't mention it, Mr Sprightly; he's the there have I been sitting these two hours with first poet I every had in my house, except the my legs under me, till they are both as dead as a bellman for a Christmas-box. herring.

Spright. Good sir ! Cape. Your dinner displeased you?

Cad. And-hold, hold! I am resolved be shall
Cad. Displeased! hey! look'e, Mr Sprightly, be the last.
I'm mightily obliged to you for the honour; but Spright. I have but one way to silence him.
hold, hold!

shall never persuade me to be a

Cad. And let pie tell you-hobblinwisky again, if the great cham of the Cal- Spright. Nay, sir, I'must tell him; he owes mucs were to come over himself. Hey! and his reception, here, to my recommendation; any what a damned language he has got ! Whee, abuse of your goodness, any breach of hospitalihaw, haw-but you speak it very fluently. ty, here, he is answerable to me for.

Gov. I was long resident in the country. Cad. Hey! hold, hold; so he is, ecod: at

Cad. May be so, but he seems to speak it bet- him; give it him home. ter; you have a foreign kind of an accent: you Spright. Ungrateful monster! And is this your don't sound it through the nose so well as he.- return, for the open, generous treatmentHey! well, Becky, what, and how have you en- Mrs Cad. As good fried cow-beel, with a tertained Mr Cape ?

roast fowl and sausages, as ever came to a table. Mrs Cad. Oh! here have been fine doings Cad. Hush, Beck, hush! since

have been gone!

Spright. And could you find no other object Cape. So; now comes on the storm.

but Mi Cadwallader; a man, perhaps, possessed Cud. Hey! hold, hold! what has been the of a genius superior to your ownmatter?

Cad. If I had had a university educationMrs Cad. Matter! why, the devil is in the Spright. And of a family as old as the creapoet, I think!

tion! Cad. The devil! hold.

Cad. Older ; Beck, fetch the pedigree. Mrs Cad. Why, here he has been making love Spright. Thus far relates to this gentleman; to me like bewitched.

but now, sir, what apology can you make me, Cad. How! which way?

who was your passport, your security? Mrs Cad. Why, some on't was out of his po

Cad. Zounds, none ! right him! etry, I think.

Spright. Fight him! Cad. Hey! hold, hold! egad, I believe he's a Cad. Ay, do; I'd fight him myself, if I had little mad : this morning he took me for king not had the measles last winter; but stay till I Turnus, you; now, who can tell but this after get out of the room. noon be may take


Spright. No: he's sure of a protection here, Mrs Cad. And there he told me I was to run, the presence of the ladies. and to double and quat, and there he was to Cad. Psha, pox! they belong to the family; catch me, and all that.

never mind them. Cad. Hold, hold! Catch you? Mr Cape, I Spright. Well, sir, are you duinb? No extake it very unkindly; it was, d'ye see, a very cuse? No palliation? unfriendly thing to make love to Becky in my Cad. Ay; 10 palliation? absence.

Mirs Cud. Ay; no tribulation? 'Tis a shame, Cape. But, sir

Cad. And it was the more ungenerous, Mr Cape. When I have leave to speak Cape, to take this advantage, as you know she is Cad. Speak! what the devil can you say? but a foolish woman.

Cape. Nay, sir-Mrs Cad. Ay, me, who am but a foolish wo- Spright. Let's hear him, Mr Cadwallader,

however. Cape. But hear me !

Cad. Hold, hold ! come, begin, ther). Cad. A poor, ignorant, illiterate, poor Becky! Cape. And first to you, Mr Sprightly, as you And for a man of your parts to attack

you seem most interested; pray, does this charge Cape. There's no

correspond with any other action of my life, Cad. Hold, hold! ecod, it is just as if the since I have had the honour to know you ? Grand Signior, at the head of his janissaries, was Spright. Indeed, I can't say that I recollect; ļo kick a chimney-sweeper.

but still as the scholiasts — Nemo repente turMrs Cad. Hey! what's that you say, Dicky? pissimus. what, be I like a chimney-sweeper?

Cad. Hold, hold; what's that? Cad. Hey! hold, hold ! Zounds !

Spright. Why, that is as much as to say, this hey! no; that's only by way of simile, to let him is bad enough. see I understand his tropes and figures as well as Mrs Cad. By gosh! and so it is. himself, egad! and therefore

Cad. Ecod, and so it is : speak a little more Spright. Nay; but, Mr Cadwallader- Latin to him; if I had been bred at the univer


so it is.


no, Beck!

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sity, you should have it both sides of your there he was going on with his nonsense ; and so

in came our Bell; and som Cape. A little patience, gentlemen : now, sir, Cad. Hold, hold, Becky ,-damn your so's; go to you. You were pleased yourself to drop a on, child, but leave out your so's; tis a lowfew hints of your lady's weakness; might not she hold, hold, vulgar-but go on. take too seriously what was meant as a more * Mrs Cad. Why, how can I go on, when you matter of merriment?

stop me every minute? Well, and then our Bell Cad. Hey! hold, hold !

came in, and interrupted him; and methought Spright. A paltry excuse; can any woman be she looked very frumpish and jealous. such a fool as not to know when a man has a de- Cad. Well. sige upon her person?

Mrs Cad. And so I went out and listened. Cad. Answer that, Mr Cape, hey! Answer Cad. So; what, you staid and listened ? that.

Mrs Cad. No; I tell you, upon iny staying, Cape. I can only answer for the innocency of she went out; nom-upon my going out, she my own intentions ; may not your lady, appre- staid. hensive of my becoming too great a favourite,

Cad. This is a damned blind story; but go on, contrive this charge with a view of destroying the Beck. connection

Mrs Cad. And then at first she scolded him Spright. Connection !

roundly for making love to me; and then he said, Cad. Hey! hold, hold ! connection?

as how she advised hiin to it : and then she said Spright. There's something in that

no; and then he said Cad. Hey! is there? hold, hold, hey! egad, Cad. Hold, hold; we shall never understand he is right--you're right, Mr Cape; hold, Becky, all these he's and she's; this may all be very true; my dear, how the devil could you be so wicked, Beck, but hold, hold; as I hope to be saved, thou hey! child; ecod, hold, hold! how could you have art the worst teller of a storythe wickedness to attempt to destroy the connec- Mrs Cad. Well, I have but a word more; and tion !

then he said, as how I was a great fool. Mrs Cad. I don't know what you say.

Cad. Not much mistaken in that. [Aside. Cad. D’ye hear? You are an incendiary, but Mrs Cad. And that he would not have staid you have missed your point; the connection shall with me a minute, but to pave the way to the be only the stronger : My dear friend, I beg ten possession of she.

I thousand pardons, I was too hasty; but, ecod, Cad. Well, Beck, well? Becky's to blame.

Mrs Cad. And so- -that's all. Cape. The return of your favour has effaced Cad. Make love to her, in order to get possesevery other impression.

sion of you? Cad. There's a good-natured creature !

Mrs Cad. Love to me, in order to get she. Cape. But if you have the least doubts remain- Cad. Hey! Oh, now, I begin to understand. ing, this lady, your sister, I believe, will do me Hey! What! is this true, Bell, Hey! Hold, the justice to own

hold, hold; ecod, I begin to smoke, hey! Me
Mrs Cad. Ay, ask my fellow if I be a thief! Cape?
Cad. What the devil is Becky at now?

Cape. How shall I act?
Mrs Cad. She's as bad as he.

Rob. Own it, sir; I have a reason. Cad. Bad as he !-Hey! how! what the devil ! Cad. Well, what say you, Mr Cape? Let's she did not make love to you too? Stop, hey! have it without equivocation; or, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold!

mental reservation ! Guilty, or not? Mrs Cad. Why no, foolish-hut you are always Cape. Of what, sir? running on with your riggmonrowles, and won't Cad. Of what ! Hold, hold ! of making love to stay to hear a body's story out.

Cad. Well, Beck ! come, let's have it.

Cape. Guilty. Mrs Cad. Be quiet then; why, as I was telling Cad. Hey! how ! Hold, zounds ! No, what, you, first he made love to me, and wanted me to not with an intention to marry her? be a hare!

Cape. With the lady's approbation, and your Cad. A hare ! hold, ecod, that was whimsical! kind a hare! hey! oh, ecod, that might be because he Cad. Hold, hold! what, my consent to marry thought you a little bair-brained already, Becky! you? a damned good story; Well, Becky, go on, let's Cape, Ay, sir. have it out.

Cod. Hold, hold, hold ! what, our Bell to mix Mrs Cad. No, I won't tell you no more, so I the blood of the Cadwalladers with the puddle won't.

of a poet?
Cad. Nay, prythee, Beck!

Cape. Sir!
Mrs Cad. Hold your tongye then :--and so Cad. A petty, paltry, ragged, rbiming--

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Spright. But Mr

Gov. I can hold no longer. 'Sdeath, sir, who Cad. A scribbling-hold, hold, hold-garret- is it you dare treat in this manner? teer, that has no more cloaths than backs, no Cad. Hey! Zounds, Mr Sprightly, lay hold of more heads thau hats, and no shoes to his feet. him. Spright. Nay, but —

Spright. Calm your choler. Indeed, Mr CadCad. The offspring of a dunghill ! born in a wallader, nothing could excuse your behaviour cellar-Hold, hold-and living in a garret! a to this gentleman, but your mistaking his perfungus, a mushroom! Cape. Sir, my family

Cad. Hold, hold! Is not he interpreter toCad. Your family! Hold, hold, hold-Peter, Spright. No. fetch the pedigree ; I'll show you—Your family! Cad. Why did not you tella little obscure-hold, hold, I don't believe you Spright. That was a mistake. This gentleever had a grandfather

man is the prince's friend; and, by long residence

in the monarch's country, is perfect master of the Enter Peter with the pedigree.


Cad. But who the devil is he, then? There it is! there; Peter, help me to stretch it Spright. He is Mr Cape, sir; a man of unout: there's seven yards more of lineals, besides blemished honour, capital fortune, and late gothree of collaterals, that I expect next Monday vernor of one of our most considerable settlefrom the herald's office : d'ye see, Mr Sprightly ments. Spright. Prodigious !

Cad. Governor! Hold, hold! and how came Cad. Nay; but look'e, there's Welsh princes you father toand ambassadors, and kings of Scotland, and Gov. By marrying his mother. members of parliament: hold, hold ! ecod, I no Cape. But how am I to regard this? more mind an earl or a lord in my pedigree, hold, Gov. As a solemn truth; that foreign friend, hold, than Kuli Khan would a serjcant in the to whom you owe your education, was no other trained bands.

than myself: I had my reasons, perhaps capriSpright. An amazing descent!

cious ones, for concealing this; but now they Cad. Hey! is it not? And for this low, lousy, cease, and I am proud to own my son. son of a shoemaker, to talk of families—hold, Cape. Sır! it is not for me [Kneeling.], but if hold, get out of my house!

gratitude, duty, filialRob. Now is your time, sir .

Gov. Rise, my boy. I have ventured far to Cad. Mr Sprightly, turn him out.

fix thy fortune, George; but, to find thee worthy Gov. Stop, sir; I have a secret to disclose, that of it, more than o'erpays my toil; the rest of my

your intentions.

story shall be reserved till we are alone. Cad. Hold, hold ! how, Mr Interpreter? Cad. Hey! Hold, hold, hold ! ecod, a good

Gov. You are now to regard that young man sensible old fellow this; but hark'e, Sprightly, I in a very different light, and consider him as my have made a damned blunder here. Hold, hold!

Mr Governor, I ask ten thousand pardons; but Cape. Your son, sir !

who the devil could have thought that the interGov. In a moment, George, the mystery shall preter to prince Putuwowskybe explained.

Gov. Oh, sir, you have in your power sufficient Cad. Your son! Hold, hold! and what then? means to atone for the injuries done us both.

Goo. Then! Why then he is no longer the Cad. Hold, how? scribbler, the mushroom you have described ; but Gov. By bestowing your sister with, I fatter: of birth and fortune equal to your own.

myself, no great violence to her inclinations, Cad. What! the son of an interpreter equal to here. me! A fellow that trudges about, teaching of Cad. What, marry Bell! Hey! Hold, hold, languages to foreign courts !

hold! zounds, Bell, take him, do; 'ecod, he's a Gov. A teacher of languages !

a good likely

hey! Will you? Cad. Stay; ecod, a runner to Monsieurs and Arab. I shan't disobey you, sir. Marquisses!

Cad. Shan't you? That's right. Who the devil Spright. You are mistaken, sir.

knews, but he may come to be a governor himCad. A jack-pudding ! that takes fillips on the self; hey! Hold, hold; come here, then, give me nose for sixpence a-piece! Hold, hold! ecod, give your hands both. (Joins their hands.] There, me eighteen-pennyworth, and change for half-a- there ; the business is done. And now, brother

governorGov. Stop when you are well.

Gov. And now, brother Cadwallader. Cad. A spunger at other mens' tables! that has Cad. Hey ! Beck, here's something now for my jallap put into his beer, and his face blacked at pedigree; we'il pop in the Governor 1.-morrow. Christinas for the diversion of children!

Mrs Cad. Harkic, Mr Governor, can you give we a black boy and a monkey?

may make



Cad. Hey! ay, ay, you shall have a black boy, | owned him. Now, Robin, my cares are over, and and a mockey, and a parrot too, Beck.


wishes full; and if George remains as unSpright. Dear George, I am a little late in my tainted by affluence as he has been untempted by congratulation; but

distress, I have given the poor a protector, his Gov. Which, if he is, in acknowledging your country an advocate, and the world a friend. disinterested friendship, I shall be sorry I ever

[Ereunt omnes.


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cause he had a little more wickedness than the

rest of his neighbours. Enter Arabella, and Sophia in Men's clothes.

Sop. Then I will be the first to set a better Ara. Indeed, my dear, you'll repent this fro example.—If I did not think a man's character lic.

was of some consequence, I should not now run Sop. Indeed, my dear, then it will be the first such risques, and encounter such difficulties, to frolic I ever repented in all my life. Look'e, be better acquainted with it. Bell, 'tis in vain to oppose me, for I am resolved Ara. Ha, Sophy! if you have love enough to -the only way to find out his character, is to see be jealous, and jealousy enough to try these exper him thus, and converse freely with him. If he is riments- don't imagine, though you should the wretch he is reported to be, I shall away with make terrible discoveries, that you can imme him at once; and if he is not, he will thank me diately quit vour inclinations, with your breeches; for the trial, and our union will be the stronger. and return so very philosophically to your petti

Ara. I never knew a woman yet, who had coats again, ha, ha! prudence enough to turn off a pretty fellow, be- Sop. You may be as merry with my weaknes.

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