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Buck. No, I believe not, mi lor. Those kind Rac. I have them, knight. 'Fore gad, he is the of talents are not given to every body. Donnez very reverse of a Bantam cock-Flis comb's on moi mon manchon. And now you shall see me his feet, and his feathers on his head. --Who manage the lady.

have we got here? What are these three fellows?

Enter Servant.

Enter CRAB. Ser. Young squire Racket and sir Toby Tally- Crab. And is this one of your newly-acquired hoe, who call themselves your honour's old ac- accomplishments, letting your mistress languish quaintances.


you have company, I see. Buck. Oh the brutes ! By what accident could Buck. O yes; I have been inexpressibly hapthey discover my arrival? Mi dear, dear lor, aid py.—These gentlemen are kind enough to treat me to escape this embarras.

me, upon my arrival, with what I believe they

call, in this country, a route- -My dear lor, it Racket and Tallyhoe without.

you don't favour my flight-But see if the

toads an't tumbling my toilet ! Hoic a hoy, hoic a hoy!

Lord John. Now's your time, steal off.-- I'll Buck. Let me die if I do not believe the Hot-cover your retreat. tentots bave brought a whole hundred of hounds Buck. Mac, let La Jonquil follow to resettle with them. But, they say, forms keep fools at a

my cheveu.r.

-Je vous remercie mille, mille fois, distance. I'll receive them en ceremonie. mon cher mi lor.

Rac. Hola, sir Toby, stole away!
Enter Racket and TallyHOE.

Buck. ( mon Dieu !

Tal. Poh, rot him; let him alone. He'll neTal. Hey boy; hoics, my little Buck! ver do for our purpose. You must know we inBuck. Monsieur le Chevalier, votres tres hum- tended to kick up a riot to-night at the playble serviteur.

house, and we wanted him of the party; but that Tul. Hey?

fop would swoon at the sight of a cudgel. Buck. Monsieur Racket, je suis charmê de vous Lord John. Pray, sir, what is your cause of poir.

contention ? Rac. Anan! what?

Tal. Cause of contention ! Hey, faith, I know Buck. Ne m'entendez tous ? Don't you know nothing of the matter. Racket, what is it we are French?

Rac. Know French ! No, nor you neither, I Rac. Angry about !-Why, you know we are think. Sir Toby, 'fore Gad, I believe the papists to demolish the dancers. ha' bewitched him in foreign paris.

Tal. True, true; I had forgot. Will you Tal. Bewitched, and transformed biin too. Let make one? me perish, Racket, if I don't think he's like one Lord John. I beg to be excused. of the folks we used to read of at school, in Ovid's Rac. Maybap you are a friend to the French? Metamorphosis; they have turned hiin into a Lord John. Not I, indeed, sir-But if the ocbeast!

casion will permit me a pun, though I am far Rac. A beast ! No; a bird, you fool. Lookee, from being a well-wisher to their arms, I bare sir Toby, by the lord Harry, here are his wings ! no objection to the being entertained by their

Tal Hey! ecod, and so they are, ha, ha! I legs. reckon, Racket, he came over with the wood- Tal. Ay?-_Why then, if you'll come to-niglit, cocks.

you'll split your sides with laughing; for I'll be Buck. Voila des véritable Anglois. The rustic, rot if we don't make them caper higher, and run rude ruffians !

faster, than ever they have done since the battle Rae. Let us see what the devil he has got upon of Blenheim. Come along, Rackett. his pole, sir Toby.

Erit. Tal. Ay.

Lord John. Was there ever such a contrast? Buck. Do, dear savage, keep your distance ! Crab. Not so remote as you imagine; they are Tal. Nay, 'fore George we will have a scru- scions from the same stock, set in different soils.

The first shrub, you see, flowers most prodigally, Rac. Ay, ay, a scrutiny.

but matures nothing; the last slip, though stunted, Buck. En grace, La Jonquil! mi lor! protect me bears a little fruit; crabbed, 'tis true, but still from these pirates !

the growth of the clime. Come, you'll follow Lord John. A little compassion, I beg, gentle- your friend.

[Erit. men.-Consider, sir Charles is upon a visit to his bride.

Enter Lucinda, with a Servant.
Tal. Bride! Zounds, he's fitter for a band-box
-Racket, hocks the heels.

Luc. When Mr Crab or sir Charles inquire for Vol. III.

2 B

angry about?




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me, you will conduct them hither. (Exit Ser- Crab. I know from what fountain this fool has vant.] How I long for an end to this important drawn his remarks; the author of the Chinese interview! Not that I have any great expecta- Orphan, in the preface to which Mr Voltaire calls Lions from the issue; but still in my circumstances the principal works of Shakespeare monstrous a state of suspence is of all situations most dis- farces. agreeable. But hush, they come.

Lord John. Mr Crab is right, madam. Mr

Voltaire has stigmatized with a very unjust and Enter Sir CHARLES, MACRUTHEN, Lord JOHN

a very invidious appellation, the principal works and CRAB,

of that great master of the passions; and his apBuck. Mac, announce me.

parent motive renders him the more inexcuseMac. Madam, sir Charles Buck craves the ho able. nour of kissing your hand.

Luc. What could it be, lord ? Buck. Tres humble serviteur. Et comment sa Lord John. The preventing has countrymen porte, Alademoiselle? I am ravished to see thee, from becoming acquainted with our author, that ma chere petite Lucinde, Eh bien, ma reine ! he might be at liberty to pilfer from bim with Why you like divinely, child. But, mon enfant, the greater security. they have dressed you most diabolically. Why Luc. Ungenerous, indeed ! what a coiffeure must you have! and, oh mon Buck. Palpable defamation. Dieu ! a total absence of rouge. But perhaps Luc. And as to the exhibition, I have been you are out. I had a cargo from Deffreny the taught to believe, that for a natural, pathetic, day of my departure: Shall I have the honour to and spirited expression, no people upon earthsupply you?

Buck. You are imposed upon, child; the LeLuc. You are obliging, sir : but I confess my- quesne, the Lanouc, the Grandval, the Dumenil

, self a convert to the chaste customs of this coun- the Caussen, what dignity, what action ! But, try; and, with a commercial people, you know, à propos, I have myself" wrote a tragedy in sir Charles, all artifice

French. Buck. Artifice! You mistake the point, ma Luc. Indeed ! chere. A proper portion of red is an indispen

Buck. En verité, upon

Voltaire's plan. sable part of your dress; and, in my private opi- Crab. That must be a precious piece of work. nion, a woman might as well appear in public Buck. It is now in repetition at the French without powder or a petticoat.

comedie. Grandval and La Gaussen perform Crab. And in my private opinion, a woman the principal parts. Oh, what an eclat! What who puts on the first, would make very little dif- a burst will it make in the parterre, when the ficulty in pulling off the last.

king of Ananamaboo refuses the person of the Buck. Oh, Monsieur Crab's judgment must be princess of Cochineal ! decisive in dress. Well, and what amusements, Luc. Do you remember the passage? what spectacles, what parties, what contrivances, Buck. Entire; and I believe I can convey i to conquer father Time, that foe to the fair? 1 in their manner. fancy one must ennuier considerablement in your Luc. That will be delightful. London here.

Buck. And first the king. Luc. Oh, we are in no distress for diversions. Ma chere princesse, je vous aime, c'est vrai ; We have an opera,

De ma femme vous portez les charmants attraits. Buck. Italien, I suppose ; pitieable, shocking, Mais ce n'est pas honétte pour un homme tel que assommant ! Oh, there is no supporting their hi, moi, hi, hi, hi. Ah mon Dieu ! Ah, chassë brilliant De tromper ma femme, ou de rompre ma foi. soleil,

Luc. Inimitable !
Brilliant soleil.

Buck. Now the princess; she is, as you may
A-t-on jamais veu ton pareil ?

suppose, in extreme distress.

Luc. No doubt. There's music and melody.

Buck, Mon grund roi, mon cher adorable, Luc. What a fop!

Ayez pitié de moi, je suis inconsolable. Buck. But proceed, ma princesse.

(Then he turns his back upon her; at which she, Luc. Oh, then we have plays.

in a fury) Buck. That I deny, child,

Monstre, ingrat, affreux, horrible, funeste, Luc. No plays!

Oh que je vous aime, ah que je vous deteste ! Buck. No.

[Then he, 1 Luc. The assertion is a little whimsical. Pensez vous, Madame, à me donner la loi ?

Buck. Ay, that may be; you have here drama- Votre baine, tótre amour, sont les mêmes choses à tic things, farcical in their composition, and ridi- moi. culous in their representation.

Luc. Bravo! Luc. Sir, I own myself unequal to the contro- Lord John. Bravo, bravo ! versy; but surely Shakespeare-My lord, this subjcct calls upon you for its defence.


hend you.




Buck. Ay, there's passion and poetry, and rea

Luc. Foreign! son and rhime. Oh, how I detest blood and Buck. Ay, something so English in his manblank verse ! There is something so soft, so musical, and so natural, in the rich rhimes of the Luc. Foreign and English! I don't compretheatre Francois !

Lord John. I did not know sir Charles was so Buck. Why that is, he has not the ease, the totally devoted to the belles lettres.

je ne scai quoi, the bon ton.-In a word, he does Buck. Oh, entirely. 'Tis the ton, the taste. not resemble me now. I ain every night at the Coffe Procope ; and had Luc. Not in the least. not I had the misfortune to be born in this curst Buck. Oh, I thought so. He is to be pitied, country, I make no doubt but you would have poor devil; he cau't help it. But, entre nous, ma seen my name among the foremost of the French chere, the fellow has a fortune. academy.

Luc. How does that concern nie, sir Charles? Crab. I should think you might easily get over Buck. Why, je pense, ma reine, that your eyes that difficulty, if you will be but so obliging as

have done execution there. publicly to renounce us. I dare engage not one Luc. My eyes execution ! of your countrymen should contradict or claim Buck. Ay; child, is there any thing so

traordinary in that? Ma foi, I thought, by the Buck. No!-Impossible. From the barbarity vivacity of his praise, that he had already sumof my education, I must ever be taken for un moned the garrison to surrender. Anglois.

Luc. To carry on the allusion, I believe my Crab. Never.

lord is too good a cominander to commence a Buck. En verité ?

fruitless siege. He could not but know the conCrab. En verité.

dition of the town. Buck. You flatter me?

Buck. Condition ! Explain, ma chere. Crab. But common justice.

Luc. I was in hopes your interview with Mr Mac. Nay, Maister Crab is in the right; for Crab had made that unnecessary. I have often heard the French themselves


is Buck. Oh, ay, I do recollect something of a it possible that gentleman can be British ? ridiculous article about marriage in a will. But

Buck. Obliging creatures! And you all con- what a plot against the peace of two poor people! cur with them?

Well, the malice of some men is amazing! Not Crab. Entirely.

contented with doing all the mischief they can Luc. Entirely.

in their life, they are for entailing their maleLord John. Entirely.

volence, like their estates, to latest posterity. Buck. How happy you make me !

Luc. Your contempt of me, sir Charles, I reCrab. Egregious puppy! But we lose time.ceive as a compliment. But the infinite obligaA truce to this trumpery. You have read your tions I owe to the man who had the misfortune father's will?

to call you son, compel me to insist, that, in my Buck. No; I read no English. When Mac presence at least, no indignity be offered to luis has turned it into French, I may run over the memory. items.

Buck. Heyday! What, in heroics, ma reine ? Crab. I have told you the part that concerns Luc. Ungrateful, unfilial wretch! so soon to this girl. And as your declaration upon it trample on his ashes, the greatest load of whose will discharge me, I leave you to what you fond heart, in his last hour, were his fears för will call an ecclaircissement. Come, my Lord. thy future welfare.

Buck. Nay, but Monsieur Crab, mi Lor, Buck. Ma foi, elle est folle; she is mad, sans Mac!

doute. Crab. Along with us.

Luc. But I am to blame. Can he, who breaks [Ereunt Crab and Lord Joun. through one sacred relation, regard another? Can Buck. A comfortable scrape I am in! What the monster, who is corrupt enough to contemn the deuce am I to do? In the language of the the place of his birth, reverence those who gave place, I am to make love, I suppose. A pretty him being ? --Impossible. employment!

Buck. Ah, a pretty monologue! a fine soliLuc. I fancy my hero is a little puzzled with loquy this, child. But now for it.

Luc. Contemptible! But I am cool. Buck. A queer creature, that Crab, ma petite. Buck. I am mightily glad of it. Now we shall But, à propos, How d'you like my lord?

understand one another, I hope. Luc. He seems to have good sense, and good Luc. We do understand one another. You breeding.

have already been kind enough to refuse me. Buck. Pas trop. But don't you think he has Nothing is wanting but a formal rejection something of a foreign kind of air about him?


his part.


under your hand, and so concludes our acquaint- | air is a copy from thy barber;

for thy dress thou

art indebted to thy tailor. Thou hast lost thy Buck. Vous allez trop vite ; you are too quick, native language, and brought home none in erma chere. If I recollect, the consequence of change for it. this rejection is my paying you twenty thousand Buck. Ertremément bien ! pounds.

Luc. Had not thy vanity so soon exposed thy Luc. True.

villany, I might, in reverence to that name, Buck. Now that, have not I the least inclina- to which thou art a disgrace, have taken a tion to do.

wretched chance with thee for life. Luc. No, sir ? Why you own that mar- Buck. I am obliged to thee for that; and a riage

pretty pacific partner I should have bad. Why, Buck. Is


aversion. I'll give you that un- look'e, child, you have been, to be sure, very eloder my hand, if you please; but I have a pro- quent, and, upon the whole, not unentertaining : digious love for the louis.

though, by the by, you have forgot in your cataLuc. Oh, we'll soon settle that dispute; the logue one of my foreign acquisitions; c'est à dire, law

that I can, with a most intrepid sang froid, withBuck. But, hold, ma reine. I don't find that out a single emotion, support all this storm of femy provident father has precisely determined the male fury. But, udieu, ma belle ; and when a time of this comfortable conjunction. So, though cool hour of reflection has made you sensible of I am condemned, the day of execution is not the propriety of my proposals, I shall expect the fixed.

honour of a card. Luc. Sir!

[Erit. Buck. I say, my soul, there goes no more Luc. I am ashamed this thing has bad the to your dying a maid, than my living a bache- power to move me thus. Who waits there? lor.

Desire Mr Crab-
Luc. O, sir, I shall find a remedy.
Buck. But now suppose, ma belle, I have

Enter Lord John and Crab. found one to your

hand ? Luc. As how? Name one.

Lord John. We have been unwillingly, maBuck. I'll name two. And first, mon enfante, dam, silent witnesses to this shameful scene. I though I have an irresistible antipathy to the blush, that a creature, who wears the outward conjugal knot, yet I ain by no means blind to marks of humanity, should be in his morals so your personal charms : in the possession of much below which if you please to place me, not only Crab. Prithee, why didst thou not call thy the aforesaid twenty thousand pounds, but maids, and toss the booby in a blanket? the whole terre of your devoted shall fall at Lord John. If I might be permitted, madaın, your

to conclude what I intended saying, when interLuc. Grant me patience !

rupted by Mr CrabBuck. Indeed you want it, my dear. But if Luc. My lord, don't think me guilty of affecyou flounce, I fly:

tation; I believe I guess at your generous deLuc. Quick, sir, your other! For this is sign: but my temper is really so ruffled-besides,

Buck. I grant, not quite so fashionable as my I am meditating a piece of female revenge on other. It is then, in a word, that you would let this coxcomb. this lubberly lord make you a lady, and appoint Lord John. Dear madam, can I assist? me his assistant, his private friend, bis cisisbei. Luc. Only by desiring my maid to bring hiAnd as we are to be joint partakers of your per- ther the tea. My lord, I am confounded at the son, let us be equal sharers in your fortune, ma liberty, but belle.

Lord John. No apology-You honour me, Luc. Thou mean, abject, mercenary thing! madam.

[Erit. Thy mistress! Gracious Heaven !-Universal Crab. And, prithee, wench, what is thy empire should not bribe me to be thy bride.- scheme? And what apology, what excuse, could a woman Luc. Oh, a very harmless one, I promise you. of the least sense or spirit make for so unnatural Crab. Zounds, I am sorry for it. I long to a connection!

see the puppy severely punished, methinks. Buck. Fort bien !

Luc. Sir Charles, I fancy, can't be yet got out Luc. Where are ihy attractions? Canst thou of the house. Will you desire him to step hibe weak enough to suppose thy frippery dress, ther? thy aflectation, thy grimace, could influence be- Crab. I'll bring him. yond the borders of a brothel?

Luc. No, I wish to have him alone. Buck. Très bien !

Crab. Why, then, I'll send him. Luc. And what are thy improvements? Thy


Enter Lettice.

Buck. Embrace ! O, confound you! But it may

not be too late. Macruthen, Jonquil, phyLuc. Place these things on the table, a chair sicians, apothecaries, oil, and antidotes. -oh, on each side-very well. Do you keep within Je meurs, je meurs ! Ah, la diablesse ? call. But hark, he is here. Leave me, Lettice.

[Erit Buck. [Erit.

Enter Buck.

Enter LORD John and CRAB.


Buck. So, so, I thought she would come to; Crab. A brave wench! I could kiss thee for but, I confess, not altogether so soon. Eh bien, this contrivance. ma belle, see me ready to receive your com- Lord John. He really deserves it all. mands.

Crab. Deserves it! Hang him. But the senLuc. Pray, be seated, sir Charles. I am a- sible resentment of this girl has almost reconcifraid the natural warmth of my temper might led me to the world again. But stay, let us sechave hurried me into some expressions not alto- Can't we make a farther use of the puppy's pugether so suitable.

nishment? I suppose we may very safely depend Buck. Ah, bagatelle. Name it not.

on your contempt of him? Luc. Will you drink tea, sir?

Luc. Most securely. Buck. Volontiers. This tea is a pretty inno- Crab. And this young thing here has been cent kind of beverage; I wonder the French breathing passions and protestations. But I'll don't take it. I have some thoughts of giving it take care my girl shan't go a beggar to any man's a fashion next winter.

bed. We must have this twenty thousand Luc. That will be very obliging. It is of ex- pound, Lucy. treme service to the ladies this side of the wa- Lord John. I regard it not. Let me be hapter, you know,

py, and let him be Buck. True, it promotes parties, and infuses a Crab. Pshaw, don't scorch me with thy Names. kind of spirit into conversation. But what has Reserve your raptures; or, if they must have occasioned me, ma reine, the honour of your vent, retire into that room, whilst I go plague the message by Mr Crab?

puppy. Luc. The favours I have received from your

[Exit Crab one way, Lucy and LORD family, sir Charles, I thought demanded from

John another. me, at my quitting your house, a more decent and ceremonious adieu than our last interview SCENE II.-Changes and discovers Buck, Macwould admit of.

RUTHEN, JONQUIL, Beannois, LA LOIRE, Buck. Is that all, ma chere? I thought your Physician and Surgeon. Buck in a night-cap flinty heart had at last relented. Well, ina reine, adieu ! Luc: Can you, then, leave me?

Sur. This copious phlebotomy will abate the Buck. The fates will have it so.

inflammation; and if the six blisters on your Luc. Go then, pertidious traitor, be gone! I bead and back rise, why there may be hopes. have this consolation, however, that if I can- Buck, Cold comfort. I burn, I burn, I burn! not legally possess you, no other woman shall. Ah, there is a shoot! And now again, I freeze! Buck. Hey, how, what!

Mac. Ay, They are aw symptoms of a strong Luc. And though the pleasure of living with poison. you is denied me, in our dcaths, at least, we shall Buck. Oh, I am on the rack ! soon be united.

Mac. Oh, if it be got to the vitals, a fig for Buck. Soon be united in death! When, child ? aw antidotes. Lue. Within this hour. Buck. Which way?

Enter CRAB. Luc. The fatal draught's already at my heart. I feel it here; it runs through every pore. Crab. Where is this miserable devil? What, is Pangs, pangs, unutterable! The tea we drank, he alive still ! urged by despair and love--Oh!

Mac. In gude troth, and that's aw. Buck. Well!

Buck. Oh! Luc. I poisoned

Crab. So, you have made a pretty piece of Buck. The devil!

work on't, young man! Luc. And as my generous heart would have Buck. O, what could provoke me to return shared all with you, I gave you half.

from Paris! Buck. Oh, curse vour generosity!

Crab. Had you never been there, this could Luc. Indulge me in the cold comfort of a last not have happened. embrace.

and gown.

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