Buck. Why, madam—I, ah—I, ah-but let's shut the door: I was, madam-ah! ah! Can't you guess what I want to talk about? Mrs Sub. Not I, indeed, sir. Buck. Well, but try; upon my soul, I'll tell you if you're right. Mrs Sub. It will be impossible for me to divine-But come, open a little. Buck. Why, have you observed nothing? Mrs Sub. About who? Buck. Why, about ine. how the devil you got them. All that I wanted to say was, that Miss Lucy was a fine wench; and if she was as willing as me Mrs Sub. Willing! Sir! What demon——————— Buck. If you are in your airs again, I may as well decamp. Mrs Sub. I am calm; go on. Buck. Why, that if she liked me as well as I liked her, we might, perhaps, if you liked it too, be married together. Mrs Sub. Öh, sir! if that was indeed your Mrs Sub. Yes; you are new-dressed, and your drift, I am satisfied. But don't indulge your clothes become you. Buck. Pretty well: but it an't that. Mrs Sub. What is it? Buck. Why, ah! ah! upon my soul, I can't bring it out! Mrs Sub. Nay, then, 'tis to no purpose to wait: write your mind. Buck. No, no; stop a moment, and I will tell. Mrs Sub. Be expeditious, then. wish too much; there are numerous obstacles; your father's consent, the law of the land Buck. What laws? Mrs Sub. All clandestine marriages are void in this country. Buck. Damn this country!-In London now, a footman may drive to May-fair, and in five minutes be tacked to a countess; but there's no liberty here. Mrs Sub. Some inconsiderate couples have in Buck. Why, I wanted to talk about Miss Lu- deed gone off post to Protestant states; but I hope my ward will have more prudence. Buck. Well, well, leave that to me. D'ye think she likes me? Mrs Sub. Why, to deal candidly with you, she does. Buck. Does she, by Mrs Sub. Calm your transports. Buck. Well! but how? She did not, did she? Hey? Come now, tell Mrs Sub. I hear her coming; this is her hour for music and dancing. Buck. Could I not have a peep? Enter LUCINDA, with GAMUT. Luc. The news, the news, Monsieur Gamut; I die, if I have not the first intelligence! What's doing at Versailles? When goes the court to Marli? Does Rameau write the next opera? What say the critics of Voltaire's Duke de Foix? the—Answer me all in a breath. Mrs Sub. I! whose untainted reputation blistering tongue of slander never blasted. Full fifteen years, in wedlock's sacred bands, have I lived unreproached; and now to Buck. Odd's fury! She's in heroics. Mrs Sub. And this from you too, whose fair outside and bewitching tongue had so far lulled my fears, I dared have trusted all my daughters, nay, myself too, singly, with you. Buck. Upon my soul, and so you might safely. Mrs Sub. Well, sir, and what have you to urge in your defence? Buck. Oh, oh! What, are you got pretty well to the end of your line, are you? And now, if you'll be quiet a bit, we may make a shift to understand one another a little. Mrs Sub. Be quick, and ease me of my fears. Buck. A brave-spirited girl! She'll take a five-barred gate in a fortnight. Gam. The conversation of the court your ladyship has engrossed, ever since you last honoured it with your appearance. Luc. Oh, you flatterer! have I? Well, and what fresh victims? But 'tis impossible; the sunshine of a northern beauty is too feeble to thaw the icy heart of a French courtier. Gam. What injustice to your own charms and our discernment! Luc. Indeed! nay, I care not-if I have fire enough to warm one British bosom, rule! rule! ye Paris belles! I envy not your conquests. Mrs Sub. Meaning you. Buck. Indeed! Mrs Sub. Certain ! Buck. Hush! Luc. But come, a truce to gallantry, Gamut, and to the business of the day. Oh! I am quite enchanted with this new instrument; 'tis so languishing and so portable, and so soft and so silly -But come! for your last lesson. Gam. D'ye like the words? Luc. Oh, charming! They are so melting, and easy, and elegant. Now for a coup d'essai. Gam. Take care of your expression; let your eyes and address accompany the sound and sen Buck. Bravo! bravissimo! My lady, what was the song about? [Aside to MRS SUBTLE. Mrs Sub. Love: 'tis her own composing. Buck. I shall make a shift to transplant you, I believe. Luc. You can't conceive how your absence has distressed me. Demand of these gentlemen the melancholy mood of my mind. Mar. But now that I'm arrived, we'll dance and sing, and drive care to theHa! Monsieur Kitteau! Have you practised this mornning? Luc. I had just given my hand to Kitteau bebefore you came. Mar. I was in hopes that honour would have been reserved for me. May I flatter myself that your ladyship will do me the honour of venturing upon the fatigue of another minuet this morning with me? Enter Buck briskly. Takes her hand. Buck. Not that you know of, Monsieur. Mrs Sub. Finely. I take you to be the sub-peat that word bete, I shall make you wallow ject of these. it again, as I did last night one of your countrymen. Buck. Ah! d'ye think so? Gad! I thought by her ogling, 'twas the music-man himself. Luc. Well, Mr Gamut; tolerably well, for so young a scholar? Gam. Inimitably, Madam! Your ladyship's progress will undoubtedly fix my fortune. Enter Servant. Luc. Your servant, sir. Ser. Madam, your dancing-master, Monsieur Kitteau. Luc. Admit him. Enter KITTEAU. Monsieur Kitteau, I can't possibly take a lesson this morning, I am so busy; but if you please, I'll just hobble over a minuet, by way of exercise. [A minuet here introduced. Enter Servant. Ser. Monsieur le Marquis de- Mrs Sub. A lover of Lucinda! a Frenchman of fashion, and vast fortune. Mar. Quel savuge! Buck. And another word; as I know you can speak very good English, if you will, when you don't, I shall take it for granted you're abusing me, and treat you accordingly. Mar. Cavalier enough! But you are protected here. Mademoiselle, who is this officious gentleman? How comes he to be interested? Some relation, I suppose? Buck. No; I'm a lover. Mar. Oh! Oh! a rival! Eh morbleu! a dangerous one too. Ha, ha! Well, Monsieur, what, and I suppose you presume to give laws to this lady; and are determined, out of your very great and singular affection, to knock down every mortal she likes, a-la-mode d'Angleterre? Hey, Monsieur Roast-beef? Buck. No; but I intend that lady for my wife: consider her as such; and don't choose to have her soiled by the impertinent addresses of every French fop, a-la-mode de Paris, Monsieur Fricassy! Mar. Fricassy! Buck. We. Luc. A truce, a truce, I beseech you, gentle Buck. Never heed; I'll soon do his business, men: it seems I am the golden prize for which I'll warrant you. you plead; produce your pretensions; you are the representatives of your respective countries. Begin, marquis, for the honour of France; let me hear what advantages I am to derive from a conjugal union with you. Mar. Abstracted from those which I think are pretty visible, a perpetual residence in this paradise of pleasures; to be the object of universal adoration; to say what you please, go where you will, do what you like, form fashions; hate your husband, and let him see it; indulge your gallant, and let the other know it; run in debt, and oblige the poor devil to pay it. He ! Ma chere! There are pleasures for you. Luc. Bravo, marquis! these are allurements for a woman of spirit: but don't let us conclude hastily; hear the other side. What have you to offer, Mr Buck, in favour of England? Buck. Why, madam, for a woman of spirit, they give you the same advantages at London as at Paris, with a privilege forgot by the marquis, an indisputable right to cheat at cards, in spite of detection. Mar. Pardon me, sir, we have the same; but I thought this privilege so known and universal, that 'twas needless to mention it. Buck. You give up nothing, I find: but to tell you my blunt thoughts in a word, if any woman can be so abandoned, as to rank amongst the comforts of matrimony, the privilege of hating her husband, and the liberty of committing every folly and every vice contained in your catalogue, she may stay single for me; for, damn me, if I am a husband fit for her humour! that's all. Mar. I told you, mademoiselle! Luc. But stay; what have you to offer as a counterbalance for these pleasures? Buck. Why, I have, madam, courage to protect you, good-nature to indulge your love, and health enough to make gallants useless, and too good a fortune to render running in debt necesFind that here, if you can. Mar. Bagatelle! sary. Luc. Spoke with the sincerity of a Briton; and, as I don't perceive that I shall have any use for the fashionable liberties you propose, you'll pardon, marquis, my national prejudice; here's my hand, Mr Buck. Buck. Servant, monsieur. Buck. No offence? Mar. Not in the least; I am only afraid the reputation of that lady's taste will suffer a little; and to shew her at once the difference of her choice, the preference, which, if bestowed on me, would not fail to exasperate you, I support without murmuring; so, that favour which would probably have provoked my fate, is now your protection. Voila la politesse Francoise, madam; I have the honour to be-Bon jour, monsieur.Tol de rol! [Erit MAR. Buck. The fellow bears it well. Now, if you'll give me your hand, we'll in, and settle matters with Mr Subtle. Luc. 'Tis now my duty to obey. Enter ROGER, peeping about. [Exeunt. Rog. The coast is clear; sir, sir, you may come in now, Mr Classic. Enter MR CLASSIC and SIR JOHN BUCK. Clas. Roger, watch at the door. I wish, sir John, I could give you a more cheerful welcome: but we have no time to lose in ceremony; you are arrived in the critical minute; two hours more would have placed the inconsiderate couple out of the reach of pursuit. Sir John. How can I acknowledge your kindness? You have preserved my son; you have saved Clas. I have done my duty; but of that Rog. Maister and the young woman's coming. Clas. Sir John, place yourself here, and be a witness how near a crisis is the fate of your family. Enter BUCK and LUCINDA. Buck. Psha! What signifies her? 'Tis odds whether she would consent, from the fear of my father. Besides, she told me we could never be married here; and so pack up a few things, and we'll off in a post-chaise directly. Luc. Stay, Mr Buck, let me have a moment's reflection What am I about? Contriving, in concert with the most profligate couple that ever disgraced human nature, to impose an indigent orphan on the sole representative of a wealthy and honourable family! Is this a character becoming my birth and education? What must be the consequence? Sure detection and contempt; contempt even from him, when his passions cool. I have resolved, sir. Buck. Madam! Luc. As the expedition we are upon the point of taking, is to be a lasting one, we ought not to be over hasty in our resolution. Buck. Pshaw! Stuff! When a thing's resolved, the sooner 'tis over the better. Luc. But before it is absolutely resolved, give me leave to beg an answer to two questions. Buck. Make haste, then. Luc. What are your thoughts of me? Buck. Thoughts! Nay, I don't know; why, that you are a sensible, civil, handsome, handy girl, and will make a devilish good wife. That is all, I think. Luc. But of my rank and fortune? Buck. Mr Subtle says they are both great; but that's no business of mine; I was always determined to marry for love. Luc. Generously said! My birth, I believe, won't disgrace you; but for my fortune, your friend, Mr Subtle, I fear, has anticipated you there. Buck. Much good may it do him; I have enough for both: but we lose time, and may be prevented. Luc. By whom? Buck. By Domine; or, perhaps, father may come. Luc. Your father! You think he would prevent you, then? Buck. Perhaps he would. Luc. And why? Buck. Nay, I don't know; but, pshaw ! 'zooks! this is like saying one's catechise. Luc. But don't you think your father's consent necessary? Buck. No: why 'tis I am to be married, and not he. But come along: old fellows love to be obstinate; but, 'ecod I am as mulish as he; and to tell you the truth, if he had proposed me a wife, that would have been reason enough to make me dislike her; and I don't think I should be half so hot about marrying you, only I thought 'twould plague the old fellow damnably. So, my pretty partner, come along; let us have no more Enter SIR JOHN BUCK, and CLASSIC. tion with these people, and from the scheme which my presence has interrupted, I have suspicions of what nature, ask yourself. Luc. Sir, you have reason; appearances are against me, I confess; but when you have heard my melancholy story, you'll own you have wronged me, and learn to pity her, whom you now hate. Sir John. Madam, you misemploy your time; there, tell your story, there it will be believed; I am too knowing in the wiles of women to be softened by a syren-tear, or imposed on by an artful tale. Luc. But hear me, sir; on my knee I beg it, nay, 1 demand it; you have wronged me, and must do me justice. Clas. I am sure, madam, sir John will be glad to find his fears are false; but you cannot blame him. Sir John. Sir, I am obliged to you for this declaration, as, to it, I owe the entire subjection of that paternal weakness which has hitherto sus- Luc. I don't, sir; and I shall but little trespended the correction your abandoned libertin- pass on his patience. When you know, sir, that ism has long provoked. You have forgot the I am the orphan of an honourable and once duty you owe a father, disclaimed my protection, wealthy family, whom her father, misguided by cancelled the natural covenant between us; 'tis pernicious politics, brought with him, in her eartime I now should give you up to the guidance liest infancy, to France; that dying here, he of your own guilty passions, and treat you as a bequeathed me, with the poor remnant of our stranger to my blood for ever. shattered fortune, to the direction of this rapacious pair; I am sure you'll tremble for me. Sir John. Go on. Buck. I told you what would happen if he should come; but you may thank yourself. Sir John. Equally weak as wicked, the dupe of a raw, giddy girl. But, proceed, sir; you have nothing farther to fear from me; complete your project, and add her ruin to your own. Buck. Sir, as to me, you may say what you please; but for the young woman, she does not deserve it; but now she wanted me to get your consent, and told me that she had never a penny of portion into the bargain. Sir John. A stale, obvious artifice! She knew the discovery of the fraud must follow close on your inconsiderate marriage, and would then plead the merits of her prior candid discovery.— The lady, doubtless, sir, has other secrets to disclose; but as her cunning revealed the first, her policy will preserve the rest. Luc. What secrets? Buck. Be quiet, I tell you; let him alone, and he'll cool of himself by-and-by. Luc. Sir, I am yet the protectress of my own honour; in justice to that, I must demand an explanation. What secrets, sir? Sir John. Oh, perhaps, a thousand! But I am to blame to call them secrets; the customs of this gay country give sanction, and stamp merit upon vice! and vanity will here proclaim, what modesty would elsewhere blush to whisper. Luc. Modesty! You suspect my virtue, then? Sir John. You are a lady; but the fears of a father may be permitted to neglect a little your plan of politeness: therefore, to be plain, from your residence in this house, from your connec Luc. But when you know that, plundered of the little fortune left me, I was reluctantly compelled to aid this plot; forced to comply, under the penalty of deepest want; without one hospitable roof to shelter me; without one friend to comfort or relieve me; you must, you can't but pity me. Sir John. Proceed. Luc. To this, when you are told, that, previ ous to your coming, I had determined never to wed your son, at least without your knowledge and consent, I hope your justice then will credit and acquit me. Sir John. Madam, your tale is plausible and moving; I hope 'tis true. Here comes the explainer of this riddle. Enter MR and MRS SUBTLE. Sir John. I'll take some other time, sir, to thank you for the last proofs of your friendship to my family; in the mean time be so candid as to instruct us in the knowledge of this lady, whom, it seems, you have chosen for the partner of my son. Mr Sub. Mr Buck's partner-I choose Mr Sub. By her father and mother. Mr Sub. Her mother was of—I forget her maiden name. Sir John. You han't forgot her father's? Sir John. Tell it, then. Mr Sub. She has told it you, I suppose. Sir John. No matter; I must have it, sir, from you. Here's some mystery. Mr Sub. 'Twas Worthy. Sir John. Not the daughter of sir Gilbert? Sir John. You are: your father was my first and firmest friend; I mourned his loss; and long have sought for thee in vain, Lucinda. Buck. Pray, han't I some merit in finding her? she's mine, by the custom of the manor. Sir John. Yours! First study to deserve her; she's mine, sir; I have just redeemed this valuable treasure, and shall not trust it in a spendthrift's hands. Buck. What would you have me do, sir? Sir John. Disclaim the partners of your riot, polish your manners, reform your pleasures, and, before you think of governing others, learn to Sir John. My poor girl !—————————1, indeed, have direct yourself. And now, my beauteous ward, wronged, but will redress you. And pray, sir, we'll for the land where first you saw the light, after the many pressing letters you received and there endeavour to forget the long, long from me, how came this truth concealed? But I bondage you have suffered here. I suppose, sir, guess your motive. Dry up your tears, Lucinda; we shall have no difficulty in persuading you to at last you have found a father. Hence, ye de-accompany us; it is not in France I am to hope generate, ye abandoned wretches, who, abusing the confidence of your country, unite to plunder those ye promise to protect. [Exeunt MR and MRS SUBTLE. Luc. Am I then justified? for your reformation. I have now learned, that he, who transports a profligate son to Paris, by way of mending his manners, only adds the vices and follies of that country to those of his [Exeunt omnes. OWD. VOL. III. X |