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Cla. And the other mine, whom Scapin has | blushing; but when we were a-bed, Lord ha' used thus.
mercy upon us !--but I'll no more. Luc. Bless us! Returned, and we not know Lean. Is, then, my father reconciled to me? of it?
Gripe. Reconciled to thee! Why, I love thee Cla. What will they say to find us here? my heart, man, at my heart; why, 'tis my broLuc. My dearest father, welcome to England. ther Thrifty's daughter, Mrs Lucy, whom I alThrifty. My daughter Luce?
ways designed for thy wife; and that's thy sister Luc. The same, sir.
Clara, married to Mr Octa, there. Gripe. My Clara here, too?
Lean. Octavian, are we then brothers ? There Cla. Yes, sir; and happy to see your is nothing that I could have rather wished, after rival.
compleating of my happiness with my charming Thrifty. What strange destiny has directed Lucia. this happiness to us?
Thrifty. Come, sir, hang up your compliments
in the hall at home; they are old, and out of faEnter OCTAVIAN.
shion. Shift, go to the inn, and bespeak a supGripe. Hey-day!
per may cost more money than I have got to Thrifty. Oh, so! I have a wife for you. pay for it, for I am resolved to run in debt to
Oct. Good father, all your propositions are night. vain; I must needs be free, and tell you I am Shift. I shall obey your commands, sir. engaged.
Thrifty. Then, d'ye hear, send out and musThrifty. Look you now: is not this very fine? ter up all the fiddlers, blind or not blind, drunk Now I have a mind to be merry, and to be or sober, in the town; let not so much as the friends with you, you'll not let me now, will roaster of tunes, with his cracked cymbal in a you? I tell you, Mr Gripe's daughter, here- case, escape you. Oct. I'll never marry Mr Gripe's daughter, sir, Gripe. Well
, what would I give now for the as long as I live: No, yonder's she that I must fellow that sings the song at my lord mayor's love, and can never entertain the thoughts of any feast: 1 myself would make an epithalamium by other.
way of sonnet, and he should set a tune to it; Cla. Yes, Octavian, I have at last met with it was the prettiest he had last time. my father, and all our fears and troubles are at an end.
Enter Sly. Thrifty. Lo ye now, you would be wiser than Sly. Oh, gentlemen, here is the strangest accithe faiher that begot you, would you? Did not I dent fallen out! always say you should marry Mr Gripe's daugh- Thrifty. What's the matter? ter? But you do not know your sister Luce. Sly. Poor Scapin!
Oct. Unlooked for blessing! Why, she's my Gripe. Ha! Rogue, let him be hanged! I'll friend Leander's wife?
hang him myself. Thrifty. How? Leander's wife !
Sly. Oh, sir, that trouble you may spare; for, Gripe. What! My son Leander?
passing by a place where they were building, a Oct. Yes, sir; your son Leander.
great stone fell upon his head, and broke his skull Gripe. Indeed! Well, brother Thrifty, 'tis so, you may see his brains. true the boy was always a good-natured boy. Thrifty. Where is he? Well, now I am so overjoyed, that I could laugh Sly. Yonder he comes. till I shook my shoulders
, but that I dare not, Enter Scapin between two, his head wrapt up in they are so sore. But look, here he comes.
linen, as if he had been wounded. Enter LEANDER.
Sca. Oh me! Oh me! Gentlemen, you see Lean. Sir, I beg your pardon; I find my mar- me, you see me in a sad condition, cut off like a riage is discovered; nor would I, indeed, have fower in the prime of my years; but yet I could longer concealed it; this is my wife, I must own not die, without the pardon of those I have wrong. her.
ed; yes, gentlemen, I beseech you to forgive me Gripe. Brother Thrifty, did you ever see the all the injuries that I have done ; but more espelike? did you ever see the like? 'ha!
cially I beg of you, Mr Thrify, and my good masThrifty. Own her, quotha! Why, kiss her, kiss ter, Mr Gripe. her, man; odsbodıkins, when I was a young fel- Thrifty. For my part, I pardon thee freely; Jow, and was first married, I did nothing else for go, and die in peace. three months. O my conscience, I got my boy Sca. But 'tis you, sir, I have most offended, Octi, there, the first night, before the curtains by the inhuman bastinadoes whichwere quite drawn !
Gripe. Prithec, speak no more of it ; I forgive Gripe. Well, 'tis his father's nown child. Just thee, too. so, brother, was it with me upon my weddiny- Sca. 'Twas a most wicked insolence in me, that day; I could not look upon my dear without I should, with vile crabtree, cudgel
Gripe. Pish! no more; I say I am satisfied. Sca. Oh me! I begin to faint again.
Sca. And now so near my deatb, 'tis an inex- Thrifty. Come, fie, brother! never let revenge pressible grief that I should dare to lift my hand employ your thoughts now; forgive him, forgive against
him without any condition. Gripe. Hold thy peace, or die quickly; I tell Gripe. A deuce on't, brother ! as I hope to be thee I have forgot all
saved, he beat me basely and scurvily, never stir Sca. Alas! How good a man you are! But, he did : but, since you will have it so, I do forsir, d’ye pardon me freely, and from the bottom give him. of your heart, those merciless drubs that
Thrifty. Now, then, let's to supper, and in our Gripe. Prithee, speak no more of it; I for- mirth drown and forget all troubles. give thee freely; here's my hand upon't.
Sca. Ay, and let them carry me to the lower Sca. Oh, sir, how much your goodness re-end of the table; vives me!
Where, in my chair of state, I'll sit at ease, [Pulls off his cap. And eat and drink, that I
may Gripe. How's that! Friend, take notice, I
[A dance.] pardon thee; but 'tis upon condition, that you
(Exeunt omnes are sure to die.
die in peace.
MAWKIN, sister to JANNO.
LISETTA, servant to MARIAMNE,
Scene-Normandy, in France,
when you once get together, the devil himself is Enter Erastus and his man, with LiseTTA, MA
not able to part ye; you will stay so long till you
are surprised, and what will become of us, then! RIAMN E's maid.
Ser. Why, then we shall be thrown out at the Lis. Once more I tell ye, sir, if you have any window, I suppose ? consideration in the world for her, you must be Lis. No; but I shall be turned out of doors. gone this minute.
Era. How unfortunate am I! these doors are Era. My dear Lisetta, let me but speak to open to all the world, and only shut to me. her; let me but see her only!
Lis. Because you come for a wife, and at our Lís. You may do what you will; but not here, house we do not care for people that come for whilst you are in our house. I do believe she's wives. as impatient to see you, as you can be to see her; Ser. What would you have us come for, child! but
Lis. Any thing but wives; because they cannot Era. But why won't you give us that satisfac- be put off without portions. tion, then?
Šer. Portions ! No, no; never talk of portions; Lis. Because I know the consequence; for, my master nor I don't want portions; and, if
he'd follow my advice, a regiinent of fathers / gent to a miracle; and her favour, if well mashould not guard her.
naged, may turn to our advantage; and, could I Lis. What say you?
prevail upon myself to declare my passion to her, Ser. Why, if you'll contrive that my master i don't doubt but she'd join in our interest. may run away with your mistress, I don't much Era. Well, since we've nothing to fear from care, faith, if I run away with you.
her, and your brother, you know, is my intimate Lis. Don't you so, rogue's face? But I hope to friend; you may, therefore, conceal me somebe better provided for.
where about the house for a few days. I'll creep Era. Hold your tongues. But where is Mari- into any hole. amne's brother? He is my bosom friend, and Ser. Ay; but who must have the care of bringwould be willing to serve me.
ing us victuals?
(Aside. Lis. I told you before, that he has been abroad Era. Thrust us into the cellar, or up into the a hunting, and we have not seen him these three garret : I don't care where it is, so that it be but days; he seldom lives at home, to avoid his fa- under the same roof with you. ther's ill humour; so that it is not your mistress Ser. But I don't say so, for that jade Lisetta only that our old covetous cuff teizes there's will have the feeding of us, and I know what no body in the family but feels the effects of his kind of diet she keeps - I believe we shan't be ill humour-by his good will he would not suf- like the fox in the fable; our bellies won't be so fer a creature to come within his doors, or eat at full but we shall be able to creep out at the same his table-and, if there be but a rabbit extra-hole we got in at. ordinary for dinner, he thinks himself ruined for Era. Must I then be gone? Must I returi, to
Paris? Era. Then, I find you pass your time vastly
Enter LISETTA. comfortably in this family!
Lis. Not so bad as you imagine, neither, per- Lis. Yes; that you must, and immediately, haps; for, thank Heaven, we have a mistress too, for here's my master coming in upon ye. that's as bountiful as he is stingy, one that will Era. What shall I do! let him say what he will, and yet does what she Lis. Begone this minute. will. But hark! here's some body coming: it is Mar. Stay in the village 'till you hear from me; certainly he.
none of our family know that you are in it. Era. Can't you hide us somewhere?
Era. Shall I see you sometimes ? Lis. Here, here, get you in here as fast as you Mar. I have not time to answer you now.
Lis. Make haste, I say; are you bewitched ? Ser. Thrust me in, too.
Era. Will you write to me?
Lis. Begone, I say; is the devil in you?
[Thrusting Erastus and his servant out. Lis. O! is it you?
Come this way, your father's just stepping in Mar. So, Lisetta, where have you been? I've upon us.
(Exeunt. been looking for ye all over the house: Who are
SCENE II. those people in the garden with my mother-inlaw? I believe my father won't be very well
Enter Mr BARNARD beating Colin. pleased to see them there.
Mr Barn. Rogue! rascal ! did not I comLis. And here's somebody else not far off, that, mand you? Did not I give you my orders, sirrah ? I believe, your father won't be very well pleased Col. Why, you gave me orders to let no body with, neither. Come, sir, sir ! [Calls
. in? and madain, her gives me orders to let every [ERASTUS, and his Servant, come out. body in—why, the devil himself can't please Mar. 0 Heavens !
[Cries out. you boath, I think. Lis. Come, lovers, I can allow you but a short Mr Barn. But, sirrah, you must obey my orbout on't this time; you must do your work with ders, not hers. a jirk-one whisper, two sighs, and a kiss; Col. Why, the gentlefolks asked for her; they make haste, I say, and I'll stand centry for ye in did not ask for you-what do you make such the mean time.
[Erit Lis. a noise about? Mar. Do you know what you expose me to, Mr Barn. For that reason, sirrah, you should Erastus? What do you mean!
not have let them in. Era. To die, madam! since you receive me Col. Hold, sir; I'd rather see you angry than with so little pleasure.
her, that's true; for when you're angry, you have Mar. Consider what would become of me, if only the devil in ye, but when madani's in a pasmy father should see you here.
sion, she has the devil and his dam both. Era. What would you have me do?
Mr Barn. You must mind what I say to you, Mar. Expect with patience some happy turn sirrah, and obuy my orders. of affairs; my mother-in-law is kind and indul- Col. Ay, ay, measter; but let's not quarrel
with one another-you're always in such a plaguy | for, in earnest—Very well; and, pray, how did humour.
madam receive all this fine company? With a Mr Barn. What are these people that are just hearty welcome, and a courtsy down to the come?
Col. Nay, that know not I; but as fine volk Lis. No, indeed, sir; she was very angry with they are as ever eye beheld, Heaven bless them! them. Mr Burn. Did yon hear their names ?
Mr Barn. How! Angry with them, say you? Col. Noa, noa; but in a coach they keam all Lis. Yes, indeed, sir; for she expected they besmeared with gould, with six breave horses, would have staid bere a fortnight, but it seems the like on them ne'er did I set eyes on—'twould things happen so unluckily, that they can't stay do a man's heart good to look on sike fine beast, bere above ten days. measter.
Mr Barn. Ten days ! how! what! four perMr Barn. How many persons are there? sons with a coach and six, and a kennel of hun
Col. Vour; two as fine men as ever woman gry hounds in liveries, to live upon me ten days ! bore, and two as dainty deames as a man would
[Erit LISETTA, desire to lay his lips to. Mr Barn. And all this crew sets up at my
Enter a Soldier. house?
So! what do you want? Col. Noa, noa, measter; the coachman is gone Sol. Sir, I come from your nephew, captain into the village to set up his coach at some inn, Flungry. for I told him our coach-house was full of vag- Mr Barn. Well, what does he want? gots; but he'll bring back the six horses, for I Sol. He gives his service to you, sir, and sends told him we had a rear good steable.
you word that he'll come and dine with you toMr Barn. Did you so, rascal ? Did you so?
[Beats him. Mr Barn. Dine with me! No, no, friend; Col. Doant, doant, sir ; it would do you good tell him I don't dine at all, to morrow; it is my to see sike cattle, i’faith; they look as if they had fast day; my wife died on't. ne'er kept Lent.
Sol. And he has sent you here a phcasant and Mr Barn. Then they shall learn religion at a couple of partridges. my house—Sirrah, do you take care they sup
Mr Barn. How's that? a pheasant and parwithout oats to-night-What will become of me? tridges, say you? Let's see ; very fine birds, truSince I bought this damned country-house, Ily: let me consider-to-morrow is not my fast spend more in a summer than would maintain me day; I mistook; tell my nephew he shall be welseven years.
come-And, d'ye hear?—[ To Courn)-Do you Col. Why, if you do spend money,
take these fowl and hang them up in a cool place good things for it? Come they not to see you the -and take this soldier in, and make him drinkwhole country raund? Mind how you're beloved, make him drink, d'ye see-a cup-ay, a cup of measter.
small beer—d'ye hear? Mr Barn. Pox take such love !-How now, Col. Yes, sir; come along; our small beer is what do you want!
Sol. But, sir, he bade me tell you, that he'll Enter Lisetta.
bring two or three of his brother officers along Lis. Sir, there's some company in the garden with him. with my mistress, who desire to see you.
Mr Barn. How's that! Officers with him ! Mr Barn. The devil take them !' What busi- Here, come back---take the fowls again: I don't ness have they here? But who are they? dine to-morrow, and so tell him--[Gives him the
Lis. Why, sir, there's the fat abbot that al- basket.]-Go, go! ways sits so long at dinner, and drinks his two
[Thrusts him out. boitles by way of whet.
Sol. Sir, sir, that won't binder them from coMr Barn. I wish his church was in his belly, ming; for they retired a little distance off the that his guts might be half full before he came- camp, and because your house is near them, sir, And who else?
they resolve to come. Lis. Then there's the young marquis, that won Mr Barn. Go; begone, sirrah !----[Thrusts all my lady's money at cards.
him out.]--There's a rogue, now, that sends me Mr Barn. Pox take him too!
three lean carrion birds, and brings half a dozen Lis. Then there's the merry lady that's always varlets to eat them! in a good humour. Mr Barn. Very well.
Enter MR GRIFFARD. Lis. Then there's she that threw down all my Grif. Brother, what is the meaning of these lady's china t'other day, and laughed at it for a doings? If you don't order your atlairs better, jest.
you'll have your fowls taken out of your very Mr Barn. Which I paid above fifty pounds yard, and carried away before your face. To III.