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Sharp. To-morrow, sir; and between you and company'is in the next room, and must have gone I, he'll meet with his match, both for humour and without, had not you brought it. I'll draw a something else too.

table. I see you have brought a cloth with you; Mel. What! she drinks, too?

but you need not have done that, for we have a Sharp. Damnably, sir; but mum-You must very good stock of linen-at the pawnbroker's. know this entertainment was designed for madam

[ Aside. to-night; but she got so very gay after dinner, [Erit, and returns immediately, drawthat she could not walk out of her own house ;

ing in a table. so her maid, who was half gone too, came here Come, come, my boys, be quick; the company with an excuse, that Mrs Melissa had got the began to be very uneasy; but I knew my old vapours : and so she had indeed violently, here, friend Lick-spit here would not fail us. here, sir,

(Pointing to his head. Cook. Lick-spit! I am no friend of your's; so Mel. This is scarcely to be borne. (Aside.] - I desire less familiarity: Lick-spit, too! Melissa! I have heard of her; they say she's very whimsical.

Enter Gayless, and stures. Sharp. A very woman, an't please your hon- Gay. What is all this? our; and, between you and I, none of the mildest Sharp. Sir, if the sight of the supper is offenand wisest of her sex- - But to return, sir, to the sive, I can easily have it removed. twenty pounds.

(Aside to GAYLESS. Mel. I am surprised, you, who have got so Gay. Prithee, explain thyself, Sharp. much money in his service, should be at a loss Sharp. Some of our neighbours, I suppose, for twenty pound, to save your bones at this junc- have bespoke this supper; but the cook has drank

away his memory, forgot the house, and brought Sharp. I have put all my money out at in- it here: however, sir, if you dislike it, I'll tell him terest; I never keep above five pounds by me; of his mistake, and send him about his business. and if your honour would lend me the other Guy. Hold, hold! necessity obliges me, against fifteen, and take my note for it

my inclination, to favour the cheat, and feast at

(Knocking. my neighbour's expence. Mel. Somebody's at the door.

Cook. Fark you, friend, is that your master? Sharp. I can give very good security.

Sharp. Ay; and the best master in the world.

Knocking Cook. I'll speak to him then-sir, I have, acMlel. Don't let the people wait, Mr.

cording to your commands, dressed as genteel a Sharp. Ten pounds will do. [Knocking. supper as my art and your price would admit of. Mel. Allez vous en.

Sharp. Good again, sir; 'tis paid for. Sharp. Five, sir. (Knocking

[ Aside to GAYLESS. Mel. Je ne puis pas.

Gay. I don't in the least question your abiSharp. Je ne puis pas !—I find we shan't un-lities, Mr Cook; and I'm obliged to you for your derstand one another; I do but lose time; and if care. I had any thought, I might have known these Cook. Sir, you are a gentleman-And if you young fops return from their travels generally would look but over the bill, and approve it, with as little money as improvement.

[Pulls out a bill.] you will, over and above, re

[E.rit Sharp. turn the obligation. Mel. Ha, ha, ha! what lies does this fellow Sharp. Oh, the devil! invent, and what rogueries does he commit, for Guy. (Looking on a bill.] Very well, I'll send his master's service! There never, sure, was a my man to pay you to-morrow. more faithful servant to his master, or a greater Cook. I'll spare him the trouble, and take it rogue to the rest of mankind. But here he comes with me, sir-I never work but for ready moagain : the plot thickens; I'll in, and observe Gay- ney. less.

[Erit Melissa. Gay. Ha!

Sharp. Then you won't have our customEnter SIARP, before several persons, with dishes (Aside. My master is busy now, friend : Do in their hands, and a Cook drunk.

you think he won't pay you? Sharp. Fortune, I thank thee! the most lucky Cook. No matter what I think; either my accident! [Aside.]—This way, gentlemen; this meat, or my money.

Sharp. 'Twill be very ill-convenient for him to Cook. I am afraid I have mistook the house.pay you lo-night. Is this Mr Treatwell's ?

Cook. Then I'm afraid it will be ill-convenient Sharp. The same, the same: What, don't you to pay me to-morrow; so, d’ye hearknow me? Cook. Know you !-Are you sure there was a

Enter Melissa. supper bespoke here?

Gay. Prithee be advised : 'sdeath, I shall be Sharp. Yes, upon iny honour, Mr Cook; the discovered !

[Takes the Cook aside.

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Mel. (To SHARP.] What's the matter? could not. Remember what I told youấabout

Sharp. The cook has not quite answered my it straight, sirmaster's expectations about the supper, sir, and Gay. Sir, sir-[ TO MELISSA.)-1 beg to speak he's a little angry at him; that's all.

a word with you : my servant, sir, tells me he bas Mel. Come, come, Mr Gayless, don't be un- had the misfortune, sir, to lose a note of mine of easy; a batchelor cannot be supposed to have twenty pounds, which I sent him to receive-and things in the utmost regularity; we don't expect the bankers' shops being shut up, and having veit.

ry little cash by me, I should be much obliged to Cook. But I do expect it, and will have it. you


would favour me with twenty pieces Mel. What does that drunken fool say?

till to-morrow. Cook. That I will have my money, and I won't Mel. Oh, sir, with all my heart-[Taking out stay till to-morrow--and-and

her purse.}--and as I have a small favour to beg Shurp. [Runs and stops his mouth.] Hold, hold! | of you, sir, the obligation will be mutual. what are you doing? Are you mad?

Gay. How may I oblige yoni, sir? Mel. What do you stop the man's breath for? Mel. You are to be married, I hear, to Me

Sharp. Sir, he was going to call you names.- lissa? Don't be abusive, Cook; the gentleman is a man Gay. To-morrow, sir. of honour, and said nothing to you : pray be pa- Alel. Then you'll oblige me, sir, by never seecified; you are in liquor.

ing her again. Cook. I will have iny

Gay. Do you call this a small favour, sir? Sharp. (Holding still.] Why, I tell you, fool, Mel. A mere trifle, sir; breaking of contracts, you mistake the gentleman; he's a friend of my suing for divorces, committing adultery, and such master's, and has not said a word to you. Pray, like, are all reckoned trifles now-a-days : and good sir, go into the next room; the fellow's smart young fellows, like you and myself, Gaydrunk, and takes you for another.-You'll repent less, should be never out of fashion. this when you are sober, friend.—Pray, sir, don't Guy. But, pray, sir, how are you concerned in stay to hear bis impertinence.

this affair? Gay. Pray, sir, walk in-Hle's below your an- Mel. Oh, sir, you must kuow I have a very ger.

great regard for Melissa, and indeed she for me Mel. Damn the rascal! What does he mean and, by the by, I have a most despicable opinion by affronting me?- Let the scoundrel go; I'll of you; for, entre nous, I take you, Charles, to polish his brutality, I warrant you. Here's the be a very great scoundrel. best reformer of manners in the universe. [Draws

Gay. Sir! his sword.] Let him go, I say !

Mel. Nay, don't look fierce, sir, and give yourSharp. So, so, you have done finely now—Get self airs-Damme, sir, I shall be through your away as fast as you can; he's the most coura- body, else, in the swapping of a finger! geous, mettlesome man, in all England - Why, Gay. I'll be as quick as you, villain! if his passion was up, he could eat you--Make

[Draws, and makes ut Melissa. your escape, vou fool.

Kit. Hold, hold ! murder ! You'll kill


mis Cook. I won't-eat me! he'll find mc damned tress—the young gentleman, I mean. hard of digestion, though

Gay. Ali, her mistress ! Sharp. Prithee, come here; let me speak with

[Drops his sword. you.

[They walk aside. Sharp. How! Melissa ! Nay, then, drive away

cart-all's over now. Enter Kitty.

Enter all the company, laughing. Kitty. Gad's me! is supper on the table already? Sir, pray defer it for a few moinents; iny Gad. What, Mr Gayless, engaging with Memistress is much better, and will be here imme- } lissa before your time? Ha, ha, ha! diately.

Kiity. Your humble servant, good Mr PolitiGay. Will she, indeed? Bless me !-I did not cian—[ To Sharp.)—This is, gentlemen and laexpect--but however-Sharp!

dies, the most celebrated and ingenious Timothy Kitty. What success, madam?

Sharp, schemer-general, and redoubted squire to

[Aside to Melissa. the most renowned and fortunate adventurer, Mel. As we could wish, girl; but he is in such Charles Gayless, knight of the woeful countepain and perplexity, I can't hold it out much nance : ha, ha, ha! Oh, that dismal face, and longer.

more dismal head of yours ! Kitty. Ay; that holding out is the ruin of half

[Strikes Suarp upon the head.

Sharp. 'Tis cruel in you to disturb a man in Sharp. I have pacified the cook; and if you his last agonies. can but borrow twenty pieces of that young prig, Mel. Now, Mr Gayless! What, not a word? all may go well yet : you may succeed, though I You are sensible I can be vo stranger to your VOL. III.



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our sex.

misfortunes; and I might reasonably expect an my thanks and gratitude-[Kneeling, she raises excuse for

ill treatment of me.

him.)-for here 'tis only due. Gay. No, madam, silence is my only refuge ; Sharp. A reprieve! A reprieve! A reprieve! for to endeavour to vindicate my crimes, would Kitty. I have been, sir, a mnost bitter enemy show a greater want of virtue than even the com- to you; but, since you are likely to be a little mission of them.

more conversant with cash than you have been, I Mel. Oh, Gayless ! 'twas poor to impose upon am now, with the greatest sincerity, your most a woman, and one that loved you, too!

obedient friend, and humble servant. And I Gay. Oh, most unpardonable! but my neces hope, sir, all former enmity will be forgotten. sities

Gay. Oh, Mrs Pry, I have been too much inSharp. And inine, madam, were not to be dulged with forgivenness myself, not to forgive les matched, I'm sure, o' this side starving.

ser offences in other people. Mel. His tears have softened me at once- Sharp. Well, then, madam, since my master Your necessities, Mr Gayless, with such real con- has vouchsafed pardon to your handmaid Kitty, trition, are too powerful motives not to affect the hope you'll not deny it to his footman Timo breast already prejudiced in your favour. You thy? have suffered too much already for your extrava- Mel. Pardon ! for what? gance; and as I take part in your sufferings, 'tis Sharp. Only for telling you about ten thousand easing myself to relieve you : Know, therefore, lies, madam; and, among the rest, insinuating all that's past I freely forgive.

that your ladyship wouldGay. You cannot mean it, sure? I am lost in niel. I understand you; and can forgive any wonder!

thing, Sharp, that was designed for the service of Mel. Prepare yourself for more wonder-You your master : and if Pry and you will follow our have another friend in masquerade here. Mr example, I'll give her a small fortune as a reCook, pray throw aside your drunkenness, and ward for both your fidelities. make your sober appearance. Don't you know Sharp. I fancy, madam, 'twould be better to that face, sir?

halve the small fortune between us, and keep us Cook. Ay, master! what, have you forgot your both siugle; for as we shall live in the same friend Dick, as you used to call me?

house, in all probability we may taste the com Gay. More wonder indeed! Don't you live forts of matrimony, and not be troubled with its with my father?

inconveniences-What say you, Kitty? Mel. Just after your hopeful servant, there, Kitty. Do you hear, Sharp? before you talk had left me, comes this man from sir William of the comforts of matrimony, taste the comforts with a letter to me; upon which (being by that of a good dinner, and recover your flesh a little; wholly convinced of your necessitous coudition) do, puppy. I invented, by the help of Kitty and Mrs Gad- Sharp. The devil backs her, that's certain ! about, this little plot, in which your friend Dick, and I am no match for her at any weapon. there, has acted 'miracles, resolving to tease you Mel. And now, Mr Gayless, to show I have a little, that you might have a greater relish for a not provided for you by halves, let the music happy turn in your affairs. Now, sir, read that prepare themselves, and, with the approbation of letter, and complete your joy.

the company, we'll have a dance, Gay. ( Reads.] Madam, I am father to the AN. By all means a dance ! unfortunate young man, who, I hear, by a friend Gut. By all means a dance-after supper, of mine (that by my desire has been a continu- though. al spy upon him), is making his addresses to Sharp. Oh, pray, sir, have supper first; or I'm you: if he is so happy as to make himself sure I shan't live till the dance is finished. agreeable to you (whose character I am charm- Gay. Behold, Melissa, as sincere a convert as ed with), I shall own hin with joy for my son, ever truth and beauty made. The wild impeand forget his fornier follies.

tuous sallies of my youth are now blown over, ! I am, madamn,

and a most pleasing calın of perfect happiness • Your most humble servant, succeeds.

« WILLIAM GAYLESS.' Thus Ætna's fames the verdant earth con"P.S. I will be soon in town myself, to con

sume, gratulate his late reformation and marriage.' But milder heat makes drooping nature bloom;

So virtuous love affords us springing joy, Oh, Melissa, this is too much! Thus let me show Whilst vicious passions, as they burn, destroy.

[Exeunt omnes.

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SCENE I.--A street.

the particulars of your passion, that I may be ile

better enabled to serve you. Enter Captain Loveit und Puff.

Cupt You shall have them—When I left the Capt. This is the place we were directed to; university, which is now seven months since, my and now, Puff, if I can get no intelligence of her, father, who loves his money better than his son, what will become of me?

and would not settle a farthing upon mePuff. And me too, sir?-You must consider I Puff Mine did so by me, sir am a married'inan, and can't bear fatigue as I Cupt. Purchased me a pair of colours at my have done. But, pray, sir, why did you leave the own request; but before I joined the regiment, army so abruptly, and not give me time to fill which was going abroad, I took a ramble into my knapsack with common necessaries? Half a the country with a fellow-collegian, to see a redozen shirts, and your regimentals, are my whole lation of his who lived in Berkshire cargo.

Puff A party of pleasure, I suppose ? Capt. I was wild to get away; and as soon a. Cupt. During a short stay there, I came acI obtained my leave of absence, I thought every quainted with this young creature: she was just moment an age till I returned to the place where I come from the boarding-school; and though she first saw this young, charming, innocent, bewitch-had all the simplicity of her age, and the couning creature.

trv, yet it was mixed with such sensible vivacity, Puff. With fifteen thousand pounds for her that I took fire at once. fortune-strong motives, I must confess.- And Puff I was tinder myself at your age. But now, sir, as you are pleased to say you must de- pray, sir, did you take fire before you knew of pend upon my care and abilities in this affair, 1 her fortune? ihink I have a just right to be acquainted with Cupt. Before, upon my honour !

Puff. Folly and constitution-But


sir. Puff. Not a word aloud; I am incognito. Capt. I was introduced to the family by the Jas. Why, faith, I should not have known you, name of Rodophil (for so my companion and I if you had not spoke first; you seem to be a little had settled it): at the end of three weeks I was dishabille toq, as well as incognito. Whom do obliged to attend the call of honour in Flanders; you honour with your service now ? Are you from but

the wars? Puff. Your parting, to be sure, was heart- Puff: Piping hot, I asure you; fire and smoke breaking ?

will tarnish : a man that will go into such service Capt. I feel it at this instant. We vowed as I have been in, will find his clothes the worse eternal constancy, and I promised to take the for the wear, take my word for it. But how is it first opportunity of returning to her. I did so; with your friend Jasper? What, you still serve, but we found the house was shut up; and all I see? you live at that house, I suppose? the information, you know, that we could get Jas. I don't absolutely live, but I am most of from the neighbouring cottage was, that miss and my time there. I have, within these two months, her aunt were removed to town, and lived some entered into the service of an old gentleman, who where near this part of it.

hired a reputable servant, and dressed him as Puff. And now we are got to the place of ac- you see, because he has taken it into his head to tion, propose your plan of operation.

fall in love. Capt. My father lives in the next street, so I Puff. False appetite, and second childhood ! must decamp immediately, for fear of discoveries: But, prithee, what's the object of his passion ? you are not known to be my servant; go, inake Jas. No less than a virgin of sixteen, I can aswhat inquiries you can in the neighbourhood, and

sure you. I shall wait at the inn for your intelligence. Puff. Oh the toothless old dotard !

Puff. I'll patrol hereabouts, and examine all Jus. And he mumbles and plays with her till that pass; but I've forgot the word, sir-Miss his mouth waters; then he chuckles till he cries, Biddy

and calls her his Bid and his Bidsy; and is so Capt. Bellair

foolishly fondPuff. A young lady of wit, beauty, and fifteen Puff Bidsy! what's that ?-thousand pounds fortune--But, sir

Jas. Her name is Biddy. Capt. What do you say, Puff?

Puff. Biddy! What, Miss Biddy Bellair ? Pnff

. If your honour pleases to consider, that I Jas. The sainebad a wife in town whom I left somewhat ab- Puff. I have no luck, to be sure. [Aside. ruptly half-a-year ago, you'll think it, I believe, Oh, I have heard of her; she's of a pretty good but decent to make some inquiry after her first : family, and has some fortune, I know. But are to be sure, it would be some small consolation things settled? Is the marriage fixed ? to me to know whether the poor woman is living, Jus. Not absolutely; the girl, I believe, detests or bas made away with herself, or

hin; but her aunt, a very good, prudent, old lady, Capt. Prithee don't distract me; a moment's has given ber consent, if he can gain her niece's: delay is of the utmost consequence; I must in- how it will end, I can't tell—but I'm hot upon't sist upon an immediate compliance with my myself. commands.

[Erit CAPTAIN. Puff: The devil! not marriage, I hope ? Puff: The devil's in these fiery young fellows ! Jas. That is not yet determined. they think of nobody's wants but their own. He Puff. Who is the lady, pray? does not consider that I am flesh and blood as Jas. A maid in the same family; a woman of well as himself. However, I may kill two birds honour, I assure you. She has one husband alat once : for I shan't be surprised if I meci my ready, a scoundrel sort of a fellow, that has ruo lady walking the streets-But, who have we here? away from her, and listed for a soldier; so, toSure I should know that face.

wards the end of the campaign, she hopes to have

a certificate he's knocked' o' the head: if not, I Enter Jasper from a house.

suppose, we shalì settle matters another way.

Puff. Well, speed the plough!—But hark ye? Who's that? my old acquaintance Jasper ! consummate without the certificate if you canJas. What, Puff! are you here?

keep your neck out of the collar-do I have Puff. My dear friend! [Kissing him.) Well, wore it these two years, and damnably galled and now, Jasper, still easy and happy? Toujours I am. le meme! What intrigues now? What girls have Jas. I'll take your advice; but I must run you ruined, and what cuckolds made, since you away to my master, who will be impatient for an and I used to beat up together, eh?

answer to his message, which I have just deliJas. Faith, business has been very brisk dur-vered to the young lady : so, dear Mr Puff, I am ing the war; men are scarce, you know: not that your most obedient humble servant. I can say I ever wanted amusement in the worst Puff. And I must to our agents for my arof times—But hark yc, Puff

rears: if you have an hour to spare, you'll hear

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