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Kitty. Ay, what work do you design to do, my
Enter King, GREENWOOD, and Courtiers. dear?
Sir John. How cleverly you have bit the old King. After what you have told me, I think fool, ha !
they cannot use him too ill. Madam, I wish you Kitty. And how charmingly we shall laugh at joy of your escape from the ruin which threatenhim by and by, ha! Sir John. Now don't you think
King. And I am glad to hear that you are reKitty. Poor sir Timothy! are you disappoint- conciled to an honest man that deserves you. ed, love? Come, don't nangry, and I'll sing it a Kitty. I see my error; and I hope, by my fusong. /
ture conduct, to make amends for the uneasiness
I have given to so good a father.
Sir John. My dear child, I am fully satisfied:
and I hope thou wilt every day be more and Ah, luckless knight! I mourn thy case: more convinced, that the happiness of a wife Alas! what bast thou done?
does not consist in a title, or fine appearance of Poor Betty! thou hast lost thy place; her husband, but in the worthiness of his sentiPoor knight! thy sex is gone!
ments, and the fondness of his heart.
King. And now, my good old man, henceforth Learn, henceforth, from this disaster,
be thou my friend. I will give thee an apartWhen for girls you lay your plots,
ment in my palace, that thou mayest always be That each miss expects a master
near my person. And let me conjure thee ever In breeches, not in petticoats.
to preserve this honest, plain sincerity. Speak
to me freely, and let me hear the voice of truth. Sir John and Kitty. Ha, ha, ha!
If my people complain, convey their grievances Sir Tim. Zoons! am I to be used in this man- faithfully to my ear; for how should kings rener? And do you think I will bear it unre- dress those ills, which flatterers hide, or wicked venged?
men disguise? Kitty. And have you the impudence to think Sir John. I thank your majesty for the confiyou are not well used?
dence you have in me: my heart, I know, is hoSir John. Nay, nay, if he's no satisfied, in- nest, and my affection to your majesty sincerestead of the entertainment he expected, suppose but as to my abilities, alas ! they are but small; we give him what he deserves. Who's within, yet, such as they are, if it clash not with my duty there?
to the public, they shall always be at your ma
jesty's service. Enter three or four Servants, Sir Timothy runs
King. I'd have you just to both. off, and they after him.
But let your country's good be first your aim; Sir John. They'll overtake him; and I don't On this our honest miller builds his claim, doubt but they'll give him the discipline he de- At least for pardon; if you please, for fame.
SCENE I.-Gayless's lodgings.
Sharp. After marriage, with all my heart, sir;
but don't let your conscience and honour so far Enter Gayless and SHARP.
get the better of your poverty and good sense, as Sharp. How, sir, shall you be married to-mor- to rely on so great uncertainty as a fine lady's row, eh? I'm afraid you joke with your poor inercy and good-nature. humble servant.
Gay. I know her generous temper, and am alGay. I tell thee, Sharp, last night Melissa con- most persuaded to rely upon it. What! because sented, and fixed to-morrow for the happy day. I am poor, shall I abandon my honour?
Sharp. 'Tis well she did, sir, or it might have Sharp. Yes, you must, sir, or abandon me. So, been a dreadful one for us in our present con- pray, discharge one of us; for eat I must, and dition: all your money spent; your moveables speedily too: and you know very well, that that sold; your honour almost ruined, and your hum- honour of yours will neither introduce you to a ble servant almost starved; we could not possi- great man's table, nor get me credit for a single bly have stood it two days longer-But if this beet-steak. young lady will marry you, and relieve us, o' my Gay. What can I do? conscience I'll turn friend to the sex, rail no Sharp. Nothing, while honour sticks in your more at matrimony, but curse the whores, and throat." Do, gulp, master, and down with it. think of a wife myself.
Gay. Prithee leave me to my thoughts. Gay. And yet, Sharp, when I think how I have Sharp. Leave you ! No, not in such bad comimposed upon her, I am almost resolved to throw pany, I'll assure you. Why, you must certainly myself at her feet, tell her the real situation of be a very great philosopher, sir, to moralize and my affairs, ask her pardon, and implore her pity. declaim so charmingly as you do, about honou
and conscience, when your doors are beset with Gay. And, do you hear, Sharp, if it should be bailiffs, and not one single guinea in your pocket any body from Melissa, say I am not at home; to bribe the villains.
lest the bad appearance we make here, should Gay. Don't be witty, and give your advice, make them suspect something to our disadvansirrah.
tage. Sharp. Do you be wise, and take it, sir. But, Sharp. I'll obey you, sir; but I am afraid they to be serious, you certainly have spent your for- will easily discover the consumptive situation of tune, and out-lived your credit, as your pockets our affairs, by my chop-fallen countenance. and my belly can testify. Your father has dis
[Erit SHARP. owned
friends forsook you, except Gay. These very rascals, who are now contimyself, who am starving with you. Now, sir, if nually dunning and persecuting me, were the you marry this young lady, who, as yet, thank very persons who led me to my ruin, partook of Heaven, knows nothing of your misfortunes, and my prosperity, and professed the greatest friendby that means procure a better fortune than that ship. you have squandered away, make a good hus- Sharp. [Without.]—Upon my word, Mrs Kitband, and turn economist, you still may be hap- ty, my master's not at home. py, may sull be sir William's heir, and the Kitty. [Without.}-Look'e, Sharp, I must and lady too no loser by the bargain. There's reason
will sec him. and argument, sir.
Guy. Ila! What do I hear? Melissa's maid! Gay. 'Twas with that prospect I first made What has brought her here? My poverty has love to her; and, though my fortune has been ill made her my enemy, too--She is certainly come spent, I have at least purchased discretion with with no good intent-No friendship there withit.
out fees-She's coming up stairs-What must I Sharp. Pray, then, convince me of that, sir, do? I'll get into this closet and listen. and make no inore objections to the marriage.
[Exit GAYLESS. You see I am reduced to my waistcoat already; and when necessity has undressed me from top
Enter Suarp and Kitty. to toe, she must begin with you, and then we shall be forced to keep house and dic by inches. Kitty. I must know where he is; and will Look you, sir, if you won't resolve to take my know, too, Mr impertinence. advice, while you have one coat to your back, I Sharp. Not of me ye won't.—[ Aside.}- He's must e'en take to my heels while I have strength not within, I tell you, Mrs Kitty; I don't know to run, and something to cover me. So, sir, wish- myself. Do you think I can conjure? ing you much comfort and consolation with your Kitty. But I know you will lie abominably; bare conscience, I am your most obedient and therefore, don't trifle with me. I come from any half-starved friend and servant.
mistress, Melissa : you know, I suppose, what's to
[Going. I be done to-morrow morning ? Gay. Hold, Sharp! You won't leave me? Sharp. Ay; and to-morrow night too, girl.
Sharp. I must eat, sir; by my honour and ap- Kitty. Not if I can help it.-[Aside.)—But petite, I must.
come, where is your master? For see him I Gay. Well, then, I am resolved to favour the cheat; and as I shall quite change my former Sharp. Pray, Mrs Kitty, what's your opinion course of life, happy inay be the consequences : of this match between my master and your misat least of this I am sure
tress? Sharp. That you can't be worse than you are kitty. Why, I have no opinion of it at all; at present.
and yet most of our wants will he relieved by it, Gay. [A knocking without.]-Who's there? too: for instance, now, your master will get a
Sharp. Some of your former good friends, who good fortune; that's what I'm afraid he wants : favoured you with money at fitty per cent. and my mistress will get a husband; that's what she helped you to spend it, and are now become has wanted for some time; you will have the daily memento's to you of the folly of trusting pleasure of my conversation, and I an opporturogues, following whores, and laughing at my nity of breaking your head for your impertiadvice.
Gay. Cease your impertinence! To the door! Sharp. Madain, I'm your most humble serIf they are duns, tell them my marriage is now But I'll tell you what, Mrs Kitty, I am certainly fixed; and persuade them still to for- positively against the match : for was I a man of bear a few days longer, and keep my circum- my master's fortune stances a secret, for their sakes as well as my Kitty. You'd marry if you could, and mend it own.
-Ha, ha, ba! Pray, Sharp, where does your Sharp. O never fear it, sir: they still have so master's estate lie? much friendship for you, as not to desire your Gay. Oh, the devil, what a question was there! ruin to their own disadvantage.
Sharp. Lie! Lie! Why, it lies—faith, I can't they can, when they do; they are raw, ignorant, name any particular place; it lies in so many.
honest people. His effects are divided, some here, some there; Kitty. Well, I must run hone: farewell—but his steward hardly knows himself.
do you hear, get something substantial for us in Kitty. Scattered, scattered, I suppose. But, the kitchen-a ham, a turkey, or what you willhark'e, Sharp, what's become of your furniture? we'll be very merry; and be sure to remove the You seem to be a little bare here at present. tables and chairs away there too, that we may Gay. What, has she found out that, too have room to dance : I cau't bear to be confined
[Aside. in my French dances; tal, lal, lal—[ Dancing:). Sharp. Why, you must know, as soon as the Well
, adieu! Without any compliment, I shall wedding was fixed, my master ordered me to re- die if I don't see you soon. move his goods into a friend's house, to make
[Erit Kurty, room for a ball which he designs to give here the Sharp. And, without any compliment, I pray day after the marriage.
Heaven you may ! Kitty. The luckiest thing in the world! For my mistress designs to have a ball and entertain
Enter GAYLESS. ment here, to-night, before the marriage; and that's business with your inaster.
[They look for some time sorrowful at each Sharp. The devil it is!
other. Kitty. She'll not have it public; she designs Gay. Oh, Sharp! to invite only eight or ten couple of friends. Sharp. Oh, master! Sharp. No more?
Gay. We are certainly undone ! Kitty. No more : and she ordered me to de- Shurp. That's no news to me. sire your master not to make a great entertain- Gay. Eight or ten couple of dancers—ten or a
dozen little nice dishes, with soine fruit-my lord Sharp. Oh, never fear
Stately's servants—hain and turkey! Kitty. Ten or a dozen little nice things, with Sharp. Say no more! the very sound creates some fruit, I believe, will be enough in all con- an appetite ; and I am sure of late I have had science.
no occasion for whetters and provocatives. Sharp. Oh, curse your conscience ! Aside. Guy. Cursed misfortune! What can we do? Kitty. And what do you think I have done of Shurp. Hang ourselves. I see no other reme
dy, except you have a receipt to give a ball and Sharp. What!
a supper, without meat or music. Kitty. I have invited all my lord Stately's ser- Gay. Melissa has certainly heard of my bad vants to come and see you, and have a dance in circumstances, and has invented this scheme to the kitchen : Won't your inaster be surprised? distress me, and break off the match. Sharp. Much so indeed!
Sharp. I don't believe it, sir; begging your Kitty. Well, be quick and find out your mas- pardon. ter, and make what haste you can with your pre- Goy. No? Why did her maid, then, make so parations : you have no time to lose. Prithee, strict an inquiry into my fortune and affairs? Sharp, what's the matter with you? I have not Sharp. For two very substantial reasons: the seen you for some time, and you seem to look a first, to satisfy a curiosity natural to her as a wolittle thin.
man; the second, to have the pleasure of my Sharp. Oh my unfortunate face !--[ Aside.]— conversation, very natural to her as a woman of I'm in pure good health, thank you, Mrs Kitty; taste and understanding. and I'll assure you I've a very good stomach; ne- Gay. Prithee, be more serious : is not our all ver better in all my life; and I am as full of vi- at stake? gour, hussy
Sharp. Yes, sir; and yet that all of ours is of
[Offers to kiss her. so little consequence, that a man, with a very Kitty. What, with that face! Well, bye, bye. small share of philosophy, may part from it with-[Going.]-oh, Sharp, what ill-looking fellows out much pain or uneasiness. However, sir, I'll are those, were standing about your door when convince you, in half an hour, that Mrs Melissa I came in? They want your master too, I sup- knows nothing of your circumstances; and I'll pose?
tell you what too, sir, she shan't be here to-night, Sharp. Hum! Yes; they are waiting for him. and yet you shall marry her to-morrow mornThey are some of his tenants out of the country, ing. that want to pay him some money.
Gay. How, how, dear Sharp? Kitty. Tenants ! What, do you let his tenants Sharp. 'Tis here, here, sir! Warm, warm; and stand in the street?
delays will cool it: therefore, I'll away to her, Sharp. 'They choose it: as they seldom come and do you be as merry as love and poverty will to town, they are willing to see as much of it as permit you. VOL. III.
my own head?
Would you succeed, a faithful friend depute,
Enter SHARP and KITTY, Whuse head can plan, and front can execute.
-So, Sharp, have you found your master I am the man! and I hope you neither dispute Will things be ready for the ball and entertainmy friendship nor qualifications?
ment? Gay. Indeed I don't. Prithee, be gone. Sharp. To your wishes, madam. I have just Sharp. I fly!
(Eseunt. now bespoke the music and supper, and wait
now for your ladyship’s farther commands.
Mel. My compliments to your master, and let SCENE 11.-Melissa's lodgings.
him know, I and my company will be with him
by six; we design to drink tea and play at cards, Enter MELISSA and Kitty.
before we dance.
Kitty. So shall I and my company, Mr Skarp. Mel. You surprise me, Kitty! The master not
[Aside at home, the man in confusion-no furniture in
Sharp. Mighty well, madam ! the house and ill-looking fellows about the Mel. Prithee, Sharp, what makes you come doors! 'Tis all a riddle.
without your coat? 'Tis too cool to go so airy, Kitty. But very easy to be explained.
Mel. Prithee, explain it, then; nor keep me Kitty. Mr Sharp, madam, is of a very hot conlonger in suspence.
stitution ha, ha, ha! Kitty. The affair is this, madam : Mr Gayless Sharp. If it had been ever so cool, I have is over head and ears in debt; you are over head had enough to warm me since I came from and ears in love; you'll marry him to-morrow; home; I am sure ; but no matter for that. the next day your whole fortune goes to his cre
Sighing ditors, and you and your children are to live com- Mel. What d'ye mean? fortably upon the remainder.
Sharp. Pray, don't ask me, madam; I beseech Mel. I cannot think bim base.
you, don't : let us change the subject. Kitty. But I know they are all base. You are Kitty. Insist upon knowing it, madam ! My very young, and very ignorant of the sex; I am curiosity must be satisfied, or I shall burst. young, too, but have had more experience : You
(Aside. never was in love before; I have been in love Mel. I do insist upon knowing- On pain with an hundred, and tried them all; and know of my displeasure, tell me them to be a parcel of barbarous, perjured, de- Sharp. If my master should know-I must not luding, bewitching devils.
tell you, madam, indeed. Mel
. The low wretches you have had to do Mel. I promise you, upon my honour, he ne with, may answer the character you give them; ver shall. but Mr Gayless
Sharp. But can your ladyship insure sectesy Kitty. Is a man, madam.
from that quarter? Mel. I hope so, Kitty, or I would have no- Kitty. Yes, Mr Jackanapes, for any thing you thing to do with him. Kitty. With all my heart
-I have given you Mel. I engage for her. my sentiments upon the occasion, and shall leave Sharp. Why then, in short; madam–I cannot you to your own inclinations.
Mel. Oh, madam, I am much obliged to you Mel. Don't trifle with me. for your great condescension-ha, ha, ha! How- Sharp. Then, since you will have it, madamever, I have so great a regard for your opinion, I lost my coat in defence of your reputation. that had I certain proofs of his villany-
Mel. In defence of my reputation! Kitty. Of his poverty, you may have a hun- Sharp. I will assure you, inadam, I've suffered dred: I am sure, I have had none to the con- very much in defence of it; which is more than
I would have done for my own. Mel
. Oh, there the shoe pinches ! Aside. Mel. Prithee, explain! Kitty. Nay, so far from giving me the usual Sharp. In short, madam, you was seen a perquisites of iny place, he has not so much as bout a month ago to make a visit to my master kept me in temper, with little endearing civili- alone. ties; and one might reasonably expect, when a Mel. Alone! my servant was with me. man is deficient in one way, that he should make Sharp. What, Mrs Kitty ? So much the worse: it up in another. [Knocking without, for she was looked upon as my property, and I
Mel. See who is at the door. (Exit Kitty.] was brought in guilty, as well as you and my masI must be cautious how I hearken too much to ter. this girl, Her bad opinion of Mr Gayless seems Kitty. What, your property, jackanapes? to arise from his disregard of her.
Mel. What is all this?