DEAR BROOTHER ROGER,

Thinking as I have tould you quite enoof about Hingian 'orseracing and fox-hunting, and pig-hunting and tiger-hunting, and that all as I have seed will give you and feyther, and all friends and Phebe Harpur and her Babby a purty 'cute ideer of their cattle and dogs and wild animals, I shan't say no more about 'em, seeing as 'ow I shan't be believed in one half of what I've written; but I bean't a liar for all that.

So now I takes up my pen to let you know all about my travels since I last rote. Soon arter that Muster Doolittle, who is a civillian by trade, was made a red-jester to a joodge who is called a criminal, and being in the hanging line he talks o' leaving off all free-fellers* pursoots and take to stoodeying of the black langige, seeing as 'ow he was ordered away up to the Gooseze-rat† country, and lots o' both them 'ere animals there be surely, the gooses being not quite so big as our Tadcaster 'uns, but the rats beats ourn ollur. They be called Brandy-cutes, and they looks for all the world more like leetle pigs and moreover squeeks and groonts so oncommon like 'em that in the dark you wouldn't know which was which. They feeds principally on the black people's toes, which they nors off bit by bit in the night leaving nothing but the toe-nail, and that's only cause its piezun to 'em. I knows this bean't a tarradiddle, 'cause only last night I cotched one on 'em a norring at my big toe, and he nord till it was quite raw, and a marcy it was I woke when I did, or else the varmint would sartinly a snovel'd it all,

*Honest John means frivolous.-S. Y. S.

+ Guzerat.

being always a hongry and vouraciously greedy, so I now intends to sleep everywhere in my boots, like our yeomanry cavalry.

Well, as I was a saying, soon arter I rote that we had left Poonur, we was ordered up here, but just afore we embark'd Muster Doolittle was seized with a cruel cantankerous complaint called in Hinjia the colour-o-more-pis brought on chiefly by changing a bad sitiation for a worser; it's what we calls at Tadcaster the jerry-go-nimbles, only oncommonly violent and vexatious, and it worked him oop and down, oop and down, back'ards and for'ards, back'ards and for'ards, and wiceywarcey, wicey-warcey, so deuced hard and so deuced quick too, that the Docturs all thought they'd earth him, but they didn't tho', knowing as they was ; but 'ow he could keep all his leetle guts from jumping out o' that spinny carkiss o' his'n I can'nt pretend to say, only he did I suppose; and at last when the Docturs gived him over, then the colour-o-more-pis gived him over too, and he got hearty agen: and then we embarked in a nasty dark, dirty, stinking boat, which was called the Patty Mar, crissen'd I suppose arter some sweetart of the black captain's.

In about an 'our or so, Roger, off we went, and then measter and I was woundily seasick, but he sed as 'ow he was very glad on't as it would clear the bill o' the ducks; to be sure we'd a matter of a dozen on 'em on board, but 'ow our reaching and puking could do anything for they poor quacking creeturs, wa'nt very clear to me. Next day as I was a going over the starn on bizness, you knows Roger, what was entirely my own, down I toombled ploomp slapdash into the water; howsoever I cotched 'old of a boat

as was behind and soon got safe on board agen, when, rat me, but Doolittle began a laughing, and says he, "John, you Yorkshire men, when you toombles in the water, are joost like a neemetic," and says I, 'ows that, and says he "because you're always sure to coom oop again." I did not relish the comparisun and so I sed quite sarkatically like, "if you was ever to swallow a Yorkshire man I fancy you'd be nation glad to get him out of your guts which ever way you cou'd, oop or down

Arter tossing and pitching about for four days, we came one night to anchor underneath an old castle, and next morning we got on land among a parcel of black women and children, all bathing without a shirt or a smock upon 'em. I be always (as Phebe Harpur knows) sadly floostrated and modest at seeing things of this kind, but with Negers it's quite different, being seemingly all of a piece from top to bottom.

Well, Roger, here we was at Soorat in the country called the

Hat of easy," and it was just the time when the people was busy in junketting and rantipoling about with large paper boxes, all covered with gilding and painted paper like, in memory of two young gentlemen whose names was Hobson and Jobson, just as we do with Guy Fox. They were tiptop fishermen in their day, and dealt wholesale in mussuls, and so all of their friends are called Mussulmen; they lived a long while ago, and had a fite and was both killed, and because their Mother, who was called Mommid was a great profit to them all, they all agreed not to be Christians no more, and they prays different to us, and Muster

VOL. I.

An emetic.

Doolittle tould me that there was a natural difference beside betwixt us and them, for he sed as 'ow we white people had four skins and the blacks had not, which is what I never know'd afore, though to be sure when I've lost leather in riding, the new skin always came again, so I suppoze a Yorkshiremen has more than four.

Them paper boxes are purty looking consarns, but then the folks makes sich a noise, firing and troompeting and shouting Hobson Jobson, Hobson Jobson, that when they brought 'em before the great gentleman's 'ouse where we put oop, he war quite angry, and ordered 'em to take 'em away and throw 'em into the water! And very proper too, not to allow any such unchristianlike doings.

But Roger, Roger, I've seed so many curious things that I never should have time to tell you about all. I've seed a black lady burn herself to ashes 'cause her dead husband sed he would haunt her all her life if she didn't! What'll Phebe Harpur say to that? and I seed a neger swallur a sorde as long as my arm and the pint of it come right down inside to his naval. I wounder if feyther'll swallur that, but it's all as true as I stands here, blow me if it a'n't.

T'other night I went with my measter to see a dance by black people which they calls a notch, and soon arter we went in, as I was standing behind his chair, they brought a youngish coppercoloured tawney-faced lady for 'ard, betwixt two ould women, and the poor thing was so heavily loaded with chains round her ankles that when the moosic began she couldn't dance a bit, but joost moved her feet about and threw her arms about quite in agony like, and so then they tried to

K

make her sing, but she couldn't sing a bit, but poor creetur, she put oop her 'and to her feace and screem'd out so loud that I ran away as fast as I could, for it made me fit to cry to hear her. Measter arterwards tried to hoomboog me, and sed it was the black kind o' singing, but I was oop to un; I warnt quite so soft as that comes to neither: he won't make me beleave that a woman is singing a song, when she's a bellowing like our Tadcaster Town Bull when he couldn't get to the Cows.

Talking of bellowing out, bless you, Roger, you never in all your born days heard such a bellur as I heard yesterday. I went out with a friend of my Measter's a fowling, and out of a leetle bush near a dry ditch, joomped a large yollur looking creetur with black spots on his skin with a divil of a roar that fairly sent my heart into my britches; and well 'twas no worser, for it was a tiger, a real live wild tiger, Roger, and crept away quite like a tom cat, and because he's so deuced sly and so vastly cunning they calls him a cheater.

This is all I can say for the present. I don't think I shall keep my place very long, for Muster Doolittle talks of selling off his 'orses and I don't imagine I shou'd be of much use without a 'orse. I've saved a pratty lot of money. A matter of some pounds and if I stay above a couple of 'ears more I shall be worth looking arter, so tell this to Phebe Harpur; but cuss me if I'll have anything to say to her babby-it's none o' mine, and I'll tell the parson so in church if she likes it; none of our family be carroty-headed, and if the young un's got a red pole she may swear it to Bill Bullock if she will-Give my duty to feyther and love to sister from dear Rojer-your loving brother,

J. DOCKERY.

P.S. Measter has been to me to consult about making a match with his brown mare Mad Margery against a well known 'orse here; but the pint was this: Mad Margery has stood to Zigzag and is three months gone, and he wanted to know if the mare runs next month whether or not the foal won't lose his maiden. Warn't this damned silly? and so I as much as tould un-but he's as obstinit as a roosty weathercock. J. D.

P. S.-I rote this a matter o' six weeks ago but measter sed as 'ow no ships would not sale for Yorkshire till now, so I didn't send it and now this is to let you know that yesterday measter ran Mad Margery against Muster Skilite's Bloo Blazes, and a very purty race it was. I rode Margery-and Muster Skilite tooled his own for two miles, the mare carrying 7st. 9 and the 'orse, being a gelding, the same weight. Muster Skilite was quite cock-ahoop about winning, and set off at a devil of a dig, so that I didn't ketch him for a mile, but then I comed oop and tried foot with un-and headed, and passed.Soon arter I held a leetle as the mare was blowd and began to change legs, when oop came Bloo Blazes with second wind and challenged for the lead. I warnt ready to spare a breath, so on he went and Muster Skilite calls out to me, "Hullo, Dungfork, I'll be dom'd but I'll do for you.' Will you, thinks I, for I never says nothing when I races for fear of fritening and disordering my 'orses; but as soon as the mare got a little steddier in her gallop I put her to her rate, ran up to un, and made Muster Skilite very bizzey with his legs and looking as yallur as sulfur. We was now at the distance post and Mad

Margery began to show her nose about his knee, and out came his whip; but the mare creeped on, and collar'd him, then he flogged but did not mend, then I got neck and neck, but felt Mad Margery had done her best; we was close to home, only wanted a few strides; so I lifted the whip, kept a steddy eye on the 'orse, who some'ow worked a little ahead, and was only a length from the joodge's stand, when I give Mad Margery a cruel cut over her near shoulder, screwed in my spurs, lifted her head with the snaffle, all at the same moment, threw her in at the post and won by a nostril. War'n't that worth winning, Roger ?-At all events measter thought so and made me a present of money to the vally of twenty

pounds. He wun a matter of a hundred; I remains your loving brother, JOHN DOCKERY.

P.S.-Tell Phebe Harpur she may marry Bill Bullock as soon as she likes for I'm thinking of making o' loove to one of our black groom's half sisters, who bea'n't a bit browner than Phebe except about her feace and arms and legs. Measter says she a'n't a regler neger, but a three parts bred un; she bea'n't a maiden but an't had any babbies yet: she has cupples with roomy hips, walks got a fine for' and, well up in the free and carries two good ends.

J. D.

P.S.-In my next I shall tell you all about my fellur sarvants.

MR. NOVICE,

A fellow who signs himself Jasper Gambado has been trying to hoax you, and as I am pretty certain from the language of your letter that you are just the sort of chap who would snap at his hook, though baited with such palpable humbug, and thereby play the devil with your stud, I write this to give you a caution, and, through you, to also advise some more youngsters of my acquaintance who have just now been inoculated with the racing mania.

You tell us you are a young one, coming on the Turf; that you have ten horses, and that you neither know how to feed or to train them, and moreover profess yourself altogether ignorant of Turf affairs.

Why, what a spongy spooney you must be!--but I hate to damp anything that looks like sporting

spirit, so take the advice of an old one going off the Turf.

Sell as speedily as possible all your colts; keep one of your known horses (if a real, tried good one) and the most likely of your maiden five-year-olds; part with all the rest. I suppose you are like most young fellows more seedy than flush, and often with pockets to let unfurnished: if therefore you are tolerably successful with this commencement, go on; if not successful, go off.

See your nags fed; make your syces strip when they are grooming, and let them make as much use of the brush as they do of the curry comb; as much depends on good grooming (take my word for it) as on good feeding.

Give a gentle opening medicine previous to beginning your training and then commence with quiet canters at the same hour every