Youth's wild profufion, th' avarice of age;
Nay, bring the Pit itself, upon the stage.
First to the bar, fhe turns her various face:
Hem, hem! My lord, I'm counsel in this case;
And if fo be your lordship should think fit,
Why to be fure, my client must submit:
For why, becaufe-Then off the trips again,
And to the fons of commerce fhifts her fcene:
There, whilft the griping fire, with moping care,
Defrauds the world himself, t' enrich his heir,
The pious boy, his father's toil rewarding,
For thousand throws a main at Covent-Garden.
These are the portraits we're oblig'd to show ;
You are all judges if they're like or no :
Here should we fail, fome other fhape we'll try,
And grace our future fcenes with novelty.
I have a plan to treat you with Burletta,
That cannot mifs your tafte, Mia Spiletta.
But should the following piece your mirth excite,
From Nature's volume we'll perfift to write.
Your partial favour bade us first proceed;
Then fpare th' offender, fince you urg'd the deed.

I

A C T I.

SCENE, A Room.

HARTOP and JENKINS difcovered.

JENKINS.

SHOULD not choose to marry into fuch a family.

Har. Choice, dear Dick, is very little concern'd in the matter: and to convince you that love is not the minister of my counfels, know, that I never saw but once the object of my prefent purpose; and that too at a time, and in a circumftance, not very likely to stamp a favourable impreffion. What think you of a raw boarding-fchool girl at Lincoln minfter, with a mind. unpolish'd, a figure uninform'd, and a fet of features tainted with the colours of her unwholefome food?

Jenk. No very engaging object indeed, Hartop. Har. Your thoughts now were mine then; but fome connections I have fince had with her father, have given birth to my present defign upon her. AranY

VOL. I.

You are no

ger

ger to the fituation of my circumftances: my neighbourhood to Sir Penurious Trifle, was a fufficient motive for his advancing what money I wanted by way of mortgage; the hard terms he impofed upon me, and the little regard I have paid to economy, has made it neceffary for me to attempt, by fome fcheme, the reestablishment of my fortune. This young lady's fimplicity, not to call it ignorance, prefented her at once as a proper fubject for my purpofe."

Fenk. Succefs to you, Jack, with all my foul! a fellow of your spirit and vivacity, mankind ought to fupport for the fake of themselves. For whatever Seneca and the other moral writers may have fuggested in contempt of riches, it is plain their maxims were not ⚫ calculated for the world as it now ftands. In days of yore, indeed, when virtue was call'd wisdom, and vice folly, fuch principles might have been encourag'd: but as the prefent fubjects of our inquiry are, not what a man is, but what he has; as to be rich, is to be wise and virtuous, and to be poor, ignorant and vicious; I heartily applaud your plan.

6

Har. Your obfervation is but too juft. And is it not, Dick, a little unaccountable, that we, who con⚫ defcend fo fervilely to copy the follies and fopperies of our polite neighbours, fhould be fo totally averfe to . an imitation of their virtues? In France, Has he wealth? is an interrogation never put, till they are disappointed in their inquiries after the birth and wifdom of a fashionable fellow: but here, How much 16 a-year! two thousand-The devil! In what coun♠ ty? Berkshire. Indeed! God blefs us! a happy • dog! How the deuce come I to be interested in • a man's fortune, unless I am his steward or his taylor? Indeed, knowledge and genius are worth examining into; by thofe my understanding may be improv'd, or my imagination gratify'd: but why fuch a man's being able to eat ortolans, and drink French wine, is to • recommend him to my efteem, is what I can't readily • conceive.'

Jenk. This complaint may with juftice be made of • all imitations: the ridiculous fide is ever the object imitated.' But, a truce to moralizing, and to our

bufinefs.'

bufinefs.

Prithee, in the first place, how can you gain admittance to your mistress? and, in the fecond, is the girl independent of her father? His confent, Í fuppofe, you have no thought of obtaining.

I

Har. Some farther propofals concerning my eftate, fuch as an increase of the mortgage, or an abfolute fale, is a fufficient pretence for a vifit: and as to the cash, twenty to my knowledge; independent too, you rogue! and, befides, an only child, you know: and then, when things are done, they can't be undone and 'tis well 'tis no worse and a hundred fuch pretty proverbs, will, 'tis great odds, reconcile the old fellow at laft. Besides, my papa in poffe, has a foible, which, if I condefcend to humour, I have his foul, my dear.

Jenk. Prithee, now you are in fpirits, give me a portrait of Sir Penurious; though he is my neighbour, yet is he fo domeftic an animal, that I know no more of him than the common country-converfation, that he is a thrifty, wary man.

Har. The very abftract of penury! Sir John Cutler, with his tranfmigrated ftockings, was but a type of him. For inftance, the barber has the growth of his and his daughter's head one a-year, for fhaving the knight once a fortnight; his fhoes are made with the leather of a coach of his grandfather's, built in the year One; his male-fervant is footman, groom, carter, coachman, and taylor; his maid employs her leisure hours in plainwork for the neighbours, which Sir Penurious takes care, as her labour is for his emolument, shall be as many as poffible, by joining with his daughter in fcouring the rooms, making the beds, &c. Thus much for his moral character. Then as to his intellectual, he is a mere charte blanche ; the last man he is with, must afford him matter for the next he goes to: but a story is his idol; throw him in that, and he fwallows it ; no matter what, raw or roafted, favoury or infipid, down it goes, and up again to the first perfon he meets. It is upon this bafis I found my favour with the knight, having acquir'd patience enough to hear his ftories, and equipp'd myfelf with a quantity fufficient to furnish him. • His manner is indeed peculiar, and for once or twice

Y 2

• en

⚫ entertaining enough. I'll give you a fpecimen Is not that an equipage?

Jenk. Hey! yes faith; and the owner an acquaintance of mine: Sir Gregory Gazette, by Jupiter! and his fon Tim with him. Now I can match your knight. He must come this way to the parlour. We'll have a fcene; but take your cue; he is a country-politician.

Sir Gregory entering, and Waiter.

Sir Greg. What, neither the Gloucester Journal, nor the Worcester Courant, nor the Northampton Mercury, nor the Chefter? Mr Jenkins, I am your humble fervant: A ftrange town this, Mr Jenkins, no news ftirring, no papers taken in! Is that gentleman a stranger, Mr Jenkins? Pray, Sir, not to be too bold, you don't come from London ?

Har. But laft night.

Sir Greg. Lack-a-day, that's wonderful! Mr Jenkins, introduce me.

Jenk. Mr Hartop, Sir Gregory Gazette.

Sir Greg. Sir, I am proud to-Well, Sir, and what news? You come from. -Pray, Sir, are you a par- ́ liament-man?

Har. Not I, indeed, Sir.

Sir Greg. Good lack! may be, belong to the law? Har. Nor that.

Sir Greg. Oh, then in some of the offices; the treafury, or the exchequer ?

Har. Neither, Sir.

Sir Greg. Lack-a-day, that's wonderful! Well, but MrPray what name did Mr Jenkins, Ha— HaHar. Hartop.

Sir Greg. Ay, true!-What, not of the Hartops of

Bofton?

Har. No.

Sir Greg. May be not. There is, Mr Hartop, one thing that I envy you Londoners in much-quires of newspapers! Now I reckon you read a matter of eight fheets every day.

Har. Not one.

Sir Greg. Wonderful!-Then, may be, you are about court; and fo being at the fountain-head, knowwhat is in the papers before they are printed.

Har.

Har. I never trouble my head about them.-An old fool!

[Apart. Sir Greg. Good Lord! Your friend, Mr Jenkins, is very close.

Jenk. Why, Sir Gregory, Mr Hartop is much in the fecrets above; and it becomes a man fo trufted to be wary, you know.

Sir Greg. May be fo, may be fo.. Wonderful! Ay, ay, a great man, no doubt.

Fenk. But I'll give him a better infight into your character, and that will induce him to throw off his re ferve.

Sir Greg. May be fo: do, do; ay, ay..

Fenk. Prithee, Jack, don't be fo crufty: indulge the knight's humour a little; befides, if I guefs right, it may be neceffary for the conduct of your defign to con-tract a pretty ftrict intimaey there..

Har. Well, do as you will.

Jenk. Sir Gregory, Mr Hartop's ignorance of your character made him a little fhy in his replies: but you will now find him more communicative; and, in your ear he is a treasure; he is in all the mysteries of government; at the bottom of every thing.

Sir Greg. Wonderful! a treasure! ay, may be fo. Fenk. And that you may have him to yourself, I'll go in fearch of your fon.

Sir Greg. Do fo, do fo; Tim is without; juft come from his uncle Tregegle's at Menegizy in Cornwall. Tim is an honeft lad-do fo, do fo.-[Exit Jenk..

Well, Mr Hartop, and fo we have a peace, lack-a-day; long-look'd-for come at laft. But pray, Mr Hartop, how many newspapers may you have printed in a week? Har. About an hundred and fifty, Sir Gregory.

Sir Greg. Good now, good now! and all full, I reckon; full as an egg; nothing but news! Well, well, I fhall go to London one of these days. A hundred and fifty! Wonderful! And pray, now, which do you reckon the best?

Har. Oh, Sir Gregory, they are as various in their excellencies as their ufes. If you are inclin❜d to blacken, by a couple of lines, the reputation of a neighbour,. whofe character neither your nor his whole life can

Y. 3

• poffibly