Luc. Upon my word this is very whimfical.—What is the reason, Mifs, that your guardian is gone away without giving me an anfwer? Mifs Har. What a contempt he must have for me, to behave in this manner! [Exit. Luc. Extremely well this, and equally foolish on both fides! But what can be the meaning of it?Ho, ho-I think I have a glimmering at laft.-Suppose she shou'd not like young Shatter-brains after all; and indeed fhe has never abfolutely faid she did; who knows but she has at laft opened her mind to my good master, and he finding her tafte (like that of other girls at her age) moft particularly ridiculous, has not been fo complaifant as he used to be. -What a fhame it is that I don't know more of this matter, a wench of spirit as I am, a favourite of my mistress, and as inquifitive as I ought to be! It is an affront to my character, and I muft have fatisfaction immediately.(Going.) I will go directly to my young mistress; tease her to death, till I am at the bottom of this; and if threatening, foothing, fcolding, whispering, crying, and lying, will not prevail, I will e'en give her warningand go upon the stage. Enter Heartly. [Exit. Hea. The more I reflect upon what has pafs'd, the more I am convinc'd that the did not intend writing to this young fellow.- What am I to think of it then? Let a man be ever fo much upon his guard against the approaches of vanity, yet he will find himself weak in that quarter.-Had not my reafon made a little ftand against my prefumption, I might have interpreted fome of Harriet's words in my own favour; butmay well blufh, tho' alone, at my extravagant folly! -I Can it be poffible that so young a creature fhou'd ' even cast a thought of that kind upon me?- -Upon me! Prefumptuous vanity!'No, no, I will do her and myself the juftice to acknowledge, that, for a very few flight appearances, there are a thousand reafons that deftroy fo ridiculous a fuppofition. Enter Sir Charles. Sir Cha. Well, Mr Heartly, what are we to hope for? Hea Hea. Upon my word, Sir, I am still in the dark; we puzzle about, indeed, but we don't get forward. Sir Cha. What the devil is the meaning of all this? There never fure were lovers fo difficult to bring together. But have you not been a little too rough with the lady? For as I pafs'd by her but now, fhe feem'd a little out of humour-and, upon my faith, not the lefs beautiful for a little pouting. Hea. Upon my word, Sir Charles, what I can collect from her behaviour is, that your nephew is not fo much in her good graces as he made you believe. Sir Cha. Egad, like enough.But hold, hold, this must be look'd a little into: -if it is fo, I wou'd be glad to know, why, and wherefore, I have been made, fo ridiculous.. -Eh, Mr Heartly, does he take me for his fool, his beaft, his Merry Andrew? By the Lord Harry Hea. In him a little vanity is excufeable. Sir Cha. I am his vanity's humble fervant for that tho'. Hea. He is of an age, Sir Charles Sir Cha. Ay, of an age to be very impertinent; but I fhall defire him to be lefs free with his uncle for the future, I affure him. Enter Lucy. Luc. I have it, I have it, Gentlemen! You need not puzzle any more about the matter.-I have got the fecret.- -I know the knight-errant that has wounded our diftrefs'd lady. Sir Cha. Well, and who? And what, child? Luc. What, has not she told you, Sir? (To Heartly.) Hea. Not directly. Luc. So much the better.-What pleasure it is to discover a fecret, and then tell it to all the world!—I prefs'd her fo much, that the at last confefs'd. Sir Cha. Well, what? Luc. That, in the firft place, fhe did not like your nephew. Sir Cha. And I told the puppy fo. Luc. That he had a moft mortal antipathy for the young men of this age; and that she had fettled her affections upon one of riper years, and riper understanding. Sir Cha. Indeed! Luc. And that she expected from a lover in his autumn, more affection, more complaifance, more conftancy, and more discretion of course. Hea. This is very particular. Sir Cha. Ay, but it is very prudent for all that. Luc. In fhort, as she had openly declared against the nephew, I took upon me to speak of his uncle. Sir Cha. Of me, Child? And fhe did not fay me nay- but caft fuch a look, and fetch'd fuch a figh, -that if ever I look'd and figh'd in my life, I know how it is with her. Sir Cha. What the devil! -Why furely- -Eh, Lucy! You joke for certain.—Mr Heartly!-Eh! Luc. Indeed I do not, Sir.- 'Twas in vain for me to say that nothing cou'd be fo ridiculous as fuch a choice.-Nay, Sir, I went a little further, (you'll excuse me), and told herGood God, Madam, said I, why, is he old and gouty, asthmatic, rheumatic, fciatic, fpleen-atic.—It fignified nothing, she had determined.--Sir Cba. But you need not have told her all that. Hea. I am perfuaded, Sir Charles, that a good heart and a good mind will prevail more with that young lady, than the more fashionable accomplishments. Sir Cha. I'll tell you what, neighbour, I have had my days, and have been well receiv'd among the ladies, I have But in truth, I am rather in my winter than my autumn; she must mean fomebody elfe. Now I think again—it can't be me.-No, no, it can't be me. Luc. But I tell you it is, Sir.-You are the manHer ftars have decreed it; and what they decree, tho' ever so ridiculous, must come to pafs. Sir Cha. Say you fo?Why then, Monfieur nephew, I fhall have a little laugh with you. —Ha, ha, ha! The tid-bit is not for you, my nice SirYour betters must be serv'd before you.-But here he -Not a word for your life. -We'll laugh at -Ha, ha! but mum, mum. Enter Y. Clackit. (Mufic plays without.) r. Cla. That will do moft divinely well-Bravo, bravo, Meffieurs Vocal and Inftrumental! comes him moft triumphantly -Stay in that chamber, and I will let you know the time for your appearance. (To the muficians.) Meeting by accident with fome artifts of the ftring, and my particular friends, I have brought 'em to celebrate Mifs Harriet's and my approaching happiness. (To Heartly.) Sir Cha. Do you hear the puppy? (To Lucy.) Sir Cha. Now for it. Hea. Mifs Harriet, Sir, was not deftin'd for you. F. Cla. What do you say, Sir? Hea. That the young lady has fix'd her affections upon another. r. Cla. Upon another? Sir Cha. Yes, Sir, another :- That is English, Sir, and you may tranflate it into French, if you like it better. F. Cla. Vous êtes bien drole, mon oncle. -Ha, ha! Sir Cha. Ay, ay, show your teeth, you have nothing elfe for it-But fhe has fix'd her heart upon another, I tell you. r. Cla. Very well, Sir, extremely well. Sir Cha. And that other, Sir, is one to whom you owe great refpect. r. Cla. I am his most respectful humble fervant. Sir Cha. You are a fine youth, my fweet nephew, to tell me a ftory of a cock and a bull, of you and the young lady, when you have no more intereft in her than the Czar of Muscovy. Y. Cla. (fmiling.) But my dear uncle, don't carry this jeft too far fhall begin to be uneasy. Sir Cha. Ay, ay, I know your vanity: You think now that the women are all for you young fellows. r. Cla. Nine hundred and ninety-nine in a thousand, I believe, uncle: Ha, ha, ha! Sir Cha. You'll make a damn'd foolish figure by and by, Jack. r. Cla. Whoever my precious rival is, he must prepare himself for a little humility; for be he ever fo mighty, my dear uncle, I have that in my pocket will lower his top-fails for him. (Searching his pocket.) Sir Cha. Well, what's that? r. Cla. A fourteen pounder only, my good uncleA letter from the lady. (Takes it out of his pocket.) Sir Cha. What, to you? -This moment receiv'd, r. Cla. To me, Sir. and overflowing with the tenderest sentiments. Sir Cha. To you? r. Cla. Moft undoubtedly.She reproaches me with my exceffive modefty. There can be no mistake. Sir Cha. What letter is this he chatters about? (To Heartly.) Hea. One written by me, and dictated by the young lady. Sir Cha. What! fent by her to him? Hea. I believe fo. Sir Cha. Well, but then Mrs Lucy! ftory? How the devil -Eh!. What becomes of your fine Luc. I don't understand it. Sir Cha. -Nor I! Hea. (befitating.) Nor-I. r. Cla. But I do,-and fo you will all prefently.Well, my dear uncle, what! are you aftonished, petrify'd, annihilated? Sir Cha. With your impudence, Jack!But I'll fee it out. Enter Mifs Harriet. Mifs Har. Blefs me, Mr Heartly, what is all this mufic for in the next room? r. Cla. I brought the gentlemen of the ftring, Mademoiselle, to convince you, that I feel, as I ought, the honour you have done me-(howing the letter.) But for Heaven's fake, be fincere a little with thefe good folks they tell me here that I am nobody, and there is another happier than myself; and for the foul of me, I don't know how to believe them.-Ha, ha, ha! : Sir Cha. Let us hear Miss speak. Mifs Har. It is a most terrible task; but I am compell'd to it, and to hefitate any longer wou'd be injurious to my guardian, his friend, this young gentleman, and my own character. r. Cla. Moft judicious, upon my foul. Sir Cha. Hold your tongue, Jack. r. Cla. I am dumb. Mifs Har. You have all been in an error.-My Vol. I. C Mifi |