SCENE, A Hall in Mr Heartly's Houfe. Enter Sir Charles Clackit, his Nephew, and Servant. SERVANT. LEASE to walk this way, Sir. PLEASE Sir Cha. Where is your master, friend? Ser. In his dreffing-room, Sir. r. Cla. Let him know then Sir Cha. Prithee be quiet, Jack; when I am in com pany, let me direct, "Tis proper and decent. r. Cla. I am dumb, Sir. Sir Cha. Tell Mr Heartly, his friend and neighbour Sir Charles Clackit would say three words to him. Ser. I fhall, Sir [Exit. Ι Sir Cha. Now nephew, confider once again, before open the matter to my neighbour Heartly, what I am going to undertake for you. Why don't you speak? r. Cla. Is it proper and decent, uncle? Sir Cha. Pfhaw! don't be a fool-but answer meDon't you flatter yourself-What affurance have you that this young lady, my friend's ward, has a liking to you? The young fellows of this age are all coxcombs, and I am afraid you are no exception to the general rule. r. Cla. Thank you, uncle-But may I this inftant be ftruck old and peevifh, if I would put you upon a false scent to expofe you, for all the fine women in Christendom.I affure you again and again, and you may take my word, uncle, that Mifs Harriet has no kind of averfion to your nephew and most humble fervant. Sir Cha. Ay, ay,-vanity!-vanity!— but I never take a young fellow's word about women; they'll lie as faft, and with as little confcience, as the Bruffels Gazette.Produce your proofs. r. Cla. Can't your eyes fee 'em, uncle, without urging me to the indelicacy of repeating 'em? Sir Cha. Why, I fee nothing but a fool's head and a fool's coat, fupported by a pair of most unpromifing legs. Have you no better proofs ? r. Cla. Yes, I have, my good infidel uncle, half a hundred. Sir Cha. Out with them then. r. Cla. Firft then-Whenever I fee her, she never looks at me:-That's a fign of love.-Whenever I speak to her, fhe never anfwers me:-Another fign of love.-And whenever I fpeak to any body else, she seems to be perfectly eafy :-That's a certain fign of love. Sir Cha. The devil it is! r. Cla. When I am with her, fhe's always grave; and the moment I get up to leave her, then the poor thing begins" Why will you leave me, Mr Clackit? .❝ can't you facrifice a few moments to my bafhfulness? Stay, you agreeable runaway, ftay, I fhall foon 66.over "overcome the fears your prefence gives me.". I could fay more-- -But a man of honour, uncle -- Sir Cha. What, and has she said all these things to you? r. Cla. O yes, and ten times more—with her eyes. Sir Cha. With her eyes!-Eyes are very equivocal, Jack. However, if the young lady has any liking to you, Mr Heartly is too much a man of the world, and too much my friend, to oppose the match; so do you walk into the garden, and I will open the matter to him. r. Cla. Is there any objection to my staying, uncle? The bufinefs will be foon ended.-You will propose the match, he will give his confent, I fhall give mine, Mifs is fent for, and l' affair eft fait. [Snapping his finger. Sir Cha. And fo you think that a young beautiful Heirefs, with forty thousand pounds, is to be had with a fcrap of French, and a fnap of your finger. thee get away, and don't provoke me.. Y. Cla. Nay, but my dear uncle Prf Sir Cha. Nay, but my impertinent nephew, either retire, or I'll throw up the game. [Putting him out. r. Cla. Well, well, I am gone, uncle.- -When you come to the point, I fhall be ready to make my appearance. -Bon voyage! [Exit. Sir Cha. The devil's in thefe young fellows, I think. -We send 'em abroad to cure their fheepishness, and they get above proof the other way.— (Enter Mr Heartly.) -Good-morrow to you, neighbour. Hea. And to you, Sir Charles; I am glad to fee you fo ftrong and healthy. Sir Cha. I can return you the compliment, my friend :-Without flattery, you don't look more than thirty-five; and between ourselves, you are on the wrong fide of forty-But mum for that. Hea. Eafe and tranquillity keep me as you fee. Sir Cha. Why don't you marry, neighbour? A good wife would do well for you. Hea. For me? You are pleafed to be merry, Sir Charles. Sir Cha. No faith, I am ferious; and had I a daughter to recommend to you, you should say me nay more than once, I affure you, neighbour Heartly, before I would quit you. Hea. I am much obliged to you. Sir Cha. But indeed you are a little too much of the philofopher, to think of being troubled with women and their concerns. Hea. I beg your pardon, Sir Charles-Tho' there. are many who call themselves philofophers, that live fingle, and perhaps are in the right of it, yet I cannot think that marriage is at all inconfiftent with true philofophy. A wife man will refolve to live like the reft of the world, with this only difference, that he is neither a flave to paffions nor events.'-It is not because I have a little philosophy, but because I am on the wrong fide of forty, Sir Charles, that I defire to be excufed. (fmiling.) Sir Cha. As you pleafe, Sir;-and now to my bufinefs. You have no objection, I fuppofe, to tie up your ward, Mifs Harriet, though you have flipped the collar yourfelf-Ha! ha! ha! Hea. Quite the contrary, Sir; I have taken her fome time from the boarding school, and brought her home, in order to dispose of her worthily, with her own inclination. Sir Cha. Her father, I have heard you fay, recommended that particular care to you, when he had reached a certain age. Hea. He did fo-and I am the more defirous to obey him fcrupuloufly in this circumftance, as fhe will be a most valuable acquifition to the perfon who shall gain her-for, not to mention her fortune, which is the leaft confideration, her sentiments are worthy her birth; fhe is gentle, modeft, and obliging. In a word, my friend, I never faw youth more amiable or difcreet-but perhaps I am a little partial to her. Sir Cha. No, no, fhe is a delicious creature, every body fays fo.-But I believe, neighbour, fomething has happened that you little think of. Hea. What, pray, Sir Charles? Sir Cha. My nephew, Mr Heartly 2. Cla. Here I am, at your fervice, Sir-My uncle is a little unhappy in his manner; but I'll clear the matter in a moment-Mifs Harriet, Sir,—your ward— Sir Cha. Get away, you puppy! r. Cla. Mifs Harriet, Sir, your ward—a most accomplish'd young lady, to be fure Sir Cha. Thou art a moft accomplish'd coxcomb, to be fure. Hea. Pray, Sir Charles, let the young gentleman fpeak. r. Cla. You'll excufe me, Mr Heartly-My uncle does not fet up for an orator-a little confused, or fo, Sir-You fee me what I am- -But I ought to ask pardon for the young lady and myself.-We are young, Sir—I must confefs we were wrong to conceal it from you-But my uncle, I fee, is pleafed to be angry, and therefore I fhall fay no more at present. Sir Cha. If you don't leave the room this moment, and ftay in the garden till I call you. you r. Cla. I am forry I have difpleafed you-I did not think it was mal a-propos ; but must have your way, uncle-You command-I fubmit-Mr Heartly, your's. [Exit Young Clackit. Sir Cha. Puppy! (afide.) My nephew's a little unthinking, Mr Heartly, as you fee; and therefore I have been a little cautious how I have proceeded in this affair : But indeed he has in a manner perfuaded me, that your ward and he are not ill together. Hea. Indeed! This is the firft notice I have had of it, and I cannot conceive why Mifs Harriet fhould conceal it from me; for I have often affured her, that I would never oppofe her inclination, though I might endeavour to direct it. Sir Cha. 'Tis human nature, neighbour.-We are fo afhamed of our first paffion, that we would willingly hide it from ourselves-But will you mention my nephew to her? Hea. I muft beg your pardon, Sir Charles.-The pame of the gentleman whom she chooses, must first A 3 come |