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L. Dupe. And who, Sir, might she be? I don't recollect to have heard of the lady before.

Nov. She, my Lord! Oh! she was a kind of a what-d'ye-call-'em-a sort of a queen, or wife, or something or other to somebody that liv'd a damn'd while ago-Mummy told me the whole story; but, before Gad, I've forgot it. But come, the busts.

Can. Bring forward the head from Herculaneum. Now, gentlemen, here is a jewel.

All. Ay, ay, let's see.
Can. "l'is not entire, though.
Nov. So much the better.

Can. Right, Sir-the very mutilations of this piece are worth all the most perfect performances of modern artists.- -Now, gentlemen, here's a touchstone for

your taste!

All. Great! great, indeed !

Nov. Great ! amazing! divine ! Oh, let me em brace the dear dismember'd buft! A little farther off. I'm ravish'd! I'm transported! What an attitude ! But then the locks! How I adore the fimplicity of the ancients ! How unlike the present, priggish, cropcar'd puppets! How gracefully they fall all adown the cheek? so decent, and fo grave, and—Who the devil do you think it is, Brush? Is it a man or a woman!

Can. The connoisseurs differ. Some will have it to be the Jupiter Tonans of Phidias, and others the Venus of Paphos from Praxiteles : but I don't think it fierce tnough for the firft, nor handsome enough for the last.

Nov. Yes, handsome enough.
All. Very handsome; handsome enough.

Can. Not quite-therefore I am inclined to join with Signor Julio de Pampedillo, who, in a treatise dedicated to the king of the Two Sicilies, calls it the Serapis of the Egyptians; and supposes it to have been fabricated about eleven hundred and three years before the Mofaic account of the creation.

Nov. Prodigious! and I dare swear true.
All. Oh! true, very true.

Puff. Upon my honour 'tis a very fine buft; but where is de nose? Nov. The nose ; what care I for the nose? Where every whit

is de nofe? Why, Sir, if it had a nofe, I would not give-fixpence for it How the devil should we diftinguish the works of the ancients, if they were perfect ?' -l'he nose, indeed! Why, I don't suppose now, but, barring the nose, Roubiliac could cut as good a head

-Brash, who is this man with his nose? The fellow should know something of fomething too, for he speaks broken Englifh.

Brush. It is Mynheer Groningen, a great connoiffeur in painting

Nov. That may be ; but as to fculpture, I am his very humble servant. A man must know damn'd little of ftatuary, that disikes a buft for want of a nofe.

Can. Right, Sir--The nose itself, without the head, nay, in another's poffeffion would be an estate But here are behind, gentlemen and ladies, an equeftrian statue of Marcus Aurelius without the horfe, and a complete ftatue of the emperor Trajan with only the head and legs missing ; both from Herculaneum.This way, gentlemen and ladies.

Enter Lady Pentweazel, Alderman, and Caleb. L. Pen. Now, Mr Pentweazel, let us have none of your Blowbladder breeding: Remember you are at the court-end of the town. This is a quality auction.

Ald. Where of course nothing is fold that is useful I am tutor'd, sweet honey.

L. Pen. Caleb, keep behind, and don't be meddling. Sir

[T. Bruh. Brush. Your pleafure, Ma'am ?

L. Pen. I should be glad you would inform me if there are any lots of very fine old china. I find the quality are grown infinitely fond of it; and I am willing to show the world, that we in the city have taste.

Brush. 'Tis a laudable refolution, Ma'am; and, I dare say, Mr Canto can supply-Bless me, what's that?

[Caleb throws down a china dish. L. Pen. That boy, I fuppofe! Well, if the mischievous brat has not broke a-and look how he stands -Sirrah, firrah, did I not bid you not meddle-Leave fucking your thumbs. What, I suppose you learnt that trick of

friend the monkey in the waggon? Gal. Indeed I did not go to do it, mother,



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Ald. Prythee, sweet honey, don't be so passionate. What's done can't be undone. The loss is not great ; come, come.

Brush. Mr Alderman is in the right. The affair is a trifle ; but a twenty guinea job.

L. Pen. Twenty guineas! You should have twenty of


Can. You mean if you had them.--Your ladyship
does not know the value of that piece of China.
the right old japan of the pea-green kind. Lady Man-
darin offer'd me, if I could match it, fourscore guineas
for the pair.

L. Dupe. A fine piece, indeed!
Puff. 'Tis ver fine !

Cal. Indeed, father, I did not break it. 'Twas crack'd in the middle, and so fell a-two in hand.

L. Pen. What! was it crack'd ?
Cal. Yes, indeed, mother.
L. Pen. There, gentlemen!

L. Dupe. Ma'am, I would willingly set you right in this affair:

you don't seem acquainted with these kinds of things; therefore, I have the honour to tell you, that the crack in the middle is a mark of its antiquity, and enhances its value ; and these gentlemen are, I dare say, of the same opinion.

All. Oh, entirely.

L. Pen. You are all of a gang, I think. A broken piece of china better than a whole one!

L. Dupe. Ma’am, I never dispute with a lady; but this gentleman has tafte ; he is a foreigner, and so can't be thought prejudic'd; refer it to him : the day grows late, and I want the auction to begin.

Ald. Sweet honey, leave it to the gentleman.
L. Per. Well, Sir.

. Madam, I love to serve de lady. 'Tis a ver fine piece of china. I was see such another piece fell at Amsterdam for a hundred ducats. 'Tis ver well worth twenty guinea.

Cal. Mother !-father! never stir if that gentleman ben't the same that we see'd at the painting-man's, that was so zivil to mother; only he has got a black wig on,


and speaks outlandish. I'll be fur enough if it en't a may-game.

L Pen. Hey! let me die but the boy's in the right. My dear, as I'm alive, Mr Puff, that we saw at the limner's. I told you he was a more cleverer man than I ever faw. Caleb is right ; some matter of merriment, I warrant.

Puff. I wish it was. [Aide.] I no understand. Can. So, Mr Puff, you are caught. [Afide. L. Dupe. This is a moft unfortunate old lady.Ma'am, you are here under another mistake. This is Mynheer baron de

L. Pen. Mynheer Figs-end. Can't I believe my own eyes? What do you think because we live in the city, we can't see?

Nov. Fire me, my lord, there may be more in this than we can guess. It's worth examining into. Come, Sir, if you are Mynheer, who the devil knows you?

Puff. I was know Mr Canto mightily.
Nov. Mr Canto, do you know this baron?

Can. I see the dog will be detected, and now is my time to be even with him for his rounds of beef and roasting pigs. [Afide.] I can't say I ever faw the gentleman before.

Nov. Oh, oh!

L. Dupe. The fellow is an impostor; a palpable cheat. Sir, I think you came from the Rhine ; pray, how should you like walking into the Thames?

Nov. Or what think you, my lord ? The rascal complain'd but now that the bust wanted a nose; suppose we were to supply the deficiency with his?

L. Dupe. But justice, Mr Novice.

Can Great rascal, indeed, gentlemen! If rogues of this stamp get once a footing in these assemblies, adieu to all moral honesty. I think an example should be made of him. But, were I to advise, he is a properer subject for the rabble to handle than the present company

All Away with him

Puff. Hands off. If I must suffer, it shall not be fingly. Here is the obsequious Mr Brush, and the very courtly Mr Canto, Mall be the partners of my distress. Vol. I.


Know then, we all are rogues, if the taking advantage of the absurdities and follies of mankind can be calia roguery. I own I have been a cheat, and I glory in it. But what point will you virtuosi, you connoisseurs, gain by the detection? Will not the publishing of our crimes trumpet forth your folly?

L. Dupe. Matchless impudence !

Puff. My noble lord here, the dilletanti, the curieu, the precieu of this nation! what infinite glory will he acquire from this story, that the Leo, the Mæcenas, the Petronius, notwithftanding his exquisite taste, has been drawn in to purchase, at an immense expence, a cart. load of-rubbish !

L. Dupe. Gentlemen and ladies I have the honour to take


leave. Puff. Your Lordship’s most obedient-When shall I fend you your Corregio, your St Anthony of Padua, your Ram Cat, my good lord ? L. Dupe. Rascal!

-[Exit. Nov. This won't do, Sir.---Though my lord has not {pirit enough, damn me if I quit you.

Puff What, my sprightly squire! Pray favour me with a sight of your Oriuna.— It has the relish ; an indisputable antique ; being a Bristol farthing, coin'd by a soap-boiler to pay his journeymen in the scarcity of cash, and purchased for twopence of a travelling tinker by, Sir, your humble servant, l'imothy Puff. Ha, ha, ha!

Nov. My Oriuna a Bristol farthing !
Puff. Most affuredly.
Nou. I'll be reveng'd.

[Going Puff. Stay, stay, and take your bust, my sweet fquire ; your Serapis. Two heads, they fay, are better than one ; lay them together. But the locks ! how gracefully they fall all adown? so decent, and so—ha, ha, ha!

Nov. Confound you !

Puff. Why, Sir, if it had a nose, I would not give fixpence for it. Pray, how many years before the creation was it fabricated, squire ?

Nov. I shall live to see you hang’d, you dog. [Exit.

Puff. Nay, but, squire ; ha, ha, ha!-Now, Madam, to your ladyship I come; to whose discernment,

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