now -There, I am fober, at your fervice-What have you to fay, Philip? [Philip farts.] You may well ftartGo, get out of my fight. Duke. Sir-I have not the honour to be known to you, but I have the honour to serve his grace the duke of Lov. And the impudence familiarly to affume his title-Your grace will give me leave to tell you, That is the door- And if you ever enter there again, I affure you, my lord Duke, I will break every bone in your grace's skin-Begone Duke. [Afide.] Low-bred fellows. [Exit. Lov. I beg their ladyfhips pardon; perhaps they cannot go without chairs-ha, ha, ha! Free. Ha, ha, ha! [Sir Harry feals off. Lady Char. This comes of vifiting commoners. [Exit. Lady Bab. They are downright Hottenpots. [Exit. Phil. and Kit. I hope your honour will not take away our bread. Lov. Five hundred pounds will fet you up in a "chocolate-house-You'll shine in the bar, Madam.' I have been an eye-witness of your roguery, extravagance, and ingratitude. Phil. and Kit. Oh, SirGood Sir! Lov. You, madam, may ftay here till to-morrow morning-And there, madam, is the book you lent me, which I beg you'll read "night and morning be"fore you fay your prayers." Kit. I am ruin'd and undone. [Exit. Lov. But you, Sir, for your villany, and (what I hate worfe) your hypocrify, fhall not ftay a minute longer in this houfe; and here comes an honeft man to how you the way out-Your keys, Sir-— Tom, I refpect and value you-You are an honeft fervant, and fhall never want encouragement- - Be fo good, Tom, as to fee that gentleman out of my house, [points to Philip]-and then take charge of the cellar and plate. Tom. thank your honour; but I would not rife on the ruin of a fellow-fervant. VOL. I. M Lov Lov. No remonftrances, Tom; it fhall be as I fay. Phil. What a curfed fool have I been? [Exeunt fervants. Lov. Well, Charles, I muft thank you for my frolic-It has been a wholefome one to me-Have I done right? Free. Entirely- -No judge could have determin'd better-As you punish'd the bad, it was but juftice to reward the good. Lov. A faithful fervant is a worthy character. Free. And can never receive too much encourage ment • Lov. Right. • Free. You have made Tom very happy. • Lov. And I intend to make your Robert fo too.Every honeft fervant should be made happy.' Free. But what an infufferable piece of affurance is it in fome of these fellows to affect and imitate their mafters manners? Lov. What manners must those be which they can imitate? Free. True. Lov. If perfons of rank would act up to their standard, it would be impoffible that their fervants could ape them-But when they affect every thing that is ridiculous, it will be in the power of any low creature to follow their example. THE I Mr Shepherd. Mr Cibber, jun. Mr Roberts. Edinburgh, 1781. Mr Southgate. Mr Jones. Mr Hallion. WOMEN.. Mifs Raftor. Mrs Heaphy. Mifs Williams. Mrs Collins. Mrs Mears. SCENE, Partly in a Country-town, and partly in a Wood. A C T I. SCENE, A Wood. DORCAS, GREGORY.. GREGORY. Tell you No, I won't comply; and it is my business to talk, and to command. Dor. And I tell you, You fhall conform to my will and that I was not married to you to suffer humours. your ill Greg. O the intolerable fatigue of matrimony! Ariftotle never faid a better thing in his life, than when he told us, That a wife is worse than a devil. Dor. Hear the learned gentleman with his Ariftotle. Greg. And a learned man I am too find me out a maker of fagote that's able, like myself, to reafon upon things, or that can boast fuch an education as mine. Dor. An education ! Greg. Ay, huffy, a regular education; firft at the charity-fchool, where I learnt to read; then I waited on a gentleman at Oxford, where I learnt-very near as much as my mafter; from whence I attended a travelling phyfician fix years, under the facetious denomina. tion of a Merry Andrew, where I learnt phyfic. Dorc. O that thou had'ft follow'd him ftill! Curs'd be the hour wherein I anfwer'd the parfon, I will. Greg. And curs'd be the parfon that ask'd me the queftion! Dor. You have reafon to complain of him indeed, who ought to be on your knees every moment, returning thanks to heaven for that great bleffing it sent you, when it fent you myself.- I hope you have not the affurance to think you deserv'd fuch a wife as me. Greg. No, really, I don't think I do. Dorcas fings. When a lady, like me, condefcends to agree With what zeal and care fhou'd he worship the fair, Attend on her will: Hear, firrah, and take it for warning; Each night on his knee, And fo he should be on each morning. Greg. Meat for my mafter! you were meat for your mafter, if I an't miftaken; for, to one of our shames be it spoken, you rofe as good a virgin from me as 'you you went to-bed.' Come, come, Madam, it was a lucky day for you when you found me out. Dor. Lucky indeed! a fellow who eats every thing I have. Greg. That happens to be a mistake, for I drink fome part on't. Dor. That has not even left me a bed to lie on. Greg. You'll rife the earlier. Dor. And who from morning till night is eternally in an alehouse. Greg. It's genteel; the fquire does the fame. Dor. Pray, Sir, what are you willing I fhall do with my family? Greg. Whatever you please. Dor. My four little children that are continually crying for bread? Greg. Give 'em a rod! beft cure in the world for crying children. Dor. And do you imagine, fot Greg. Hark ye, my dear, you know my temper is not over and above paffive, and that my arm is extremely active. Dor. I laugh at your threats, poor beggarly infolent fellow. Greg. Soft object of my wishing eyes, I shall play with your pretty ears. Dor. Touch me if you dare, you infolent, impudent, dirty, lazy, rafcally Greg. Oh ho, ho! you will have it then, I find. Dor. O murder, murder! Enter Squire Robert. [Beats her. Rob. What's the matter here? Fy upon you, fy upon you, neighbour, to beat your wife in this fcandalous manner! Dor. Well, Sir, and I have a mind to be beat, and what then? Rob. O dear, Madam, I give my confent with all my heart and foul. Dor. What's that to you, faucebox? Is it any bufinefs of your's? Rob. No certainly, Madam. Der |