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There, I am fober, at your service What have you to say, Philip ? [Philip starts.] You may well start- -Go, get out of my fight.
Duke. Sir-I have not the honour to be known to you, but I have the honour to serve his grace the duke of
Lov. And the impudence familiarly to assume his title-Your grace will give me leave to tell you, That is the door -And if you ever enter there again, I assure you, my lord Duke; I will break every bone in your grace's skin-BegoneDuke. [Afide. ] Low-bred fellows.
[Exit. Lov. I beg their ladyships pardon; perhaps they cannot go without chairs—ha, ha, ha! Free. Ha, ha, ha!
[Sir Harry Pleals off. Lady Char. This comes of visiting commoners.
[Exit. Lady Bab. They are downright Hottenpots. [ Exit.
Phil. and Kit. I hope your honour will not take away our bread.
Lov. “ Five hundred pounds will set you up in a “ chocolate-house-You'll shine in the bar, Madam.”I have been an eye-witness of your roguery, extravagance, and ingratitude.
Phil. and Kit. Oh, SirGood Sir!
Lov. You, madam, may stay here till to-morrow morning And there, madam, is the book you lent me, which I beg you'll read “ night and morning be“ fore you say your prayers." Kit. I am ruin'd and undone.
[Exit. Lov. But you, Sir, for your villany, and (what I hate worse) your hypocrisy, shall not stay a minute longer in this house; and here comes an honest man to thow you way out-Your keys, Sir.“
[Philip gives the keys.
Enter Tom. Tom, I respect and value you—You are an honest servant, and shall never want encouragement
-Be fo good, Tom, as to see that gentleman out of my house, (points to Philip]-and then take charge of the cellar and plate.
Tom. Ithank your honour; but I would not rise on the ruin of a fellow-fervant. VOL. '
Lov. No remonftrances, Tom; it shall be as I say. Phil. What a cursed fool have I been?
[Exeunt fervants. Lov. Well, Charles, I muft thank you for my frolic-It has been a wholesome one to me-Have I done right?
Free. Entirely-No judge could have determin'd better-As you punish'd the bad, it was but justice to reward the good.
Lov. A faithful servant is a worthy character. • Free. And can never receive too much encourage. e ment.
• Lov. Right.
Lov. And I intend to make your Robert fo too. * Every honeft servant should be made happy.'
Free. But what an insufferable piece of assurance is it in some of these fellows to affect and imitate their mafters manners ?
Lor. What manners must those be which they can imitate?
Lov. If persons of rank would act up to their standard, it would be impossible that their servants could ape them-But when they affect every thing that is ridiculous, it will be in the
power of any low creature to follow their example.
. Τ Η Ε
SCENE, Parily in a Country-town, and partly in a Wood.
A C T I. SCENE, A Wood.
Dor. And I tell you, You shall conform to my will
; and that I was not married to you to suffer your ill. humours.
Greg. O the intolerable fatigue of matrimony! AriAtotle never said a better thing in his life, than when he told us, That a wife is worse
than a devil. Dor. Hear the learned gentleman with his Aristotle.
Greg. And a learned man I am too: find me out a maker of fagote that's able, like myself, to reafon upon things, or that can boaft such an education as mine.
Dor. An education !
Greg. Ay, huffy, a regular education ; first at the Clarity-school, where I learnt to read; then I waited on a gentleman at Oxford, where I learnt- very near as much as
master ; from whence I attended a travel. ling phyfician fix years, under the facetious denomina. tion of a Merry Andrew, where I learnt phyfic.
Dorc. O that thou had'It follow'd him ftill! Curs'd be the hour wherein. I answer'd the parson, I will.
Greg. And curs'd be the parson that ask'd me the question !
Dor. You have reason to complain of him indeed, who ought to be on your knees every moment, returning thanks to heaven for that great blessing it sent you, when it fent
you myself. - I hope you have not the assurance to think you deserv'd such a wife as me. Greg. No, really, I don't think I do.
To let such a jackanapes tafte her,
His actions should still
Attend on her will:
To her he should be
Each night on his knee,
And so he should be on each morning. Greg. Meat för my master! you were meat for your master, if I an't mistaken; "for, to one of our shames : be it spoken, yon rose as good a virgin from me as
you went to-bed.' Come, come, Madam, it was a lucky day for
found me out. Dor. Lucky indeed! a fellow who eats every thing I have.
Greg. That happens to be a mistake, for I drink some part on't.
Dor. That has not even left me a bed to lie on.
Dor. And who from morning till night is eternally in an alehouse.
Greg. It's genteel; the squire does the same.
Dor. Pray, Sir, what are you willing I shall do with my family? Greg. Whatever you please.
Dor. My four little children that are continually crying for bread
Greg. Give 'em a rod! best cure in the world for crying children. Dor. And do you imagine, fot
Greg. Hark ye, my dear, you know my temper is not over and above passive, and that my arm is extremely active.
Dor. I laugh at your threats, poor beggarly infolent fellow.
Greg. Soft object of my wishing eyes, I shall play with
your pretty ears. Dor. Touch me if you dare, you insolent, impudent, dirty, lazy, rascallyGreg. Oh ho, ho! you will have it then, I find.
[Beats her. Dor. O murder, murder !
Enter Squire Robert. Rob. What's the matter here? Fy upon you, fy upon you, neighbour, to beat your wife in this scandalous manner!
Dor. Well, Sir, and I have a mind to be beat, and what then?
Rob. O dear, Madam, I give my consent with all my heart and soul.
Dor. What's that to you, saucebox? Is it any bue finess of yours? Reb. No certainly, Madam.