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Sing high, fing low, sing ding dong bell';,
No happy pair e'er lov'd so well
IN TWO ACTS.
Br DAVID GARRICK, Ese.
Drury. Lane. Edinburgb, 1782. Lovel, a young West Indian
Mr Obrien. Mr Knight. of fortune. Freeman, his friend.
Mr Packer. Mr Simpson. Philip,
Mr Yates. Mr Hollingsworth. Tom,
Mr Mozeen. Mr Tannet. Coachman, Servants to Mr Clough. Mr T. Banks. Kingston, a black, Lovel.
Mr Moody. Kitty,
Mrs Clive. Mrs Knivcton. Cook,
Mrs Bradshaw. Mr Charteris. Cloe, a black,
Mrs Smith. Duke's servant,
Mr Palmer. Mr Taylor. Sir Harry's ferv.
Miss Hippesley. Mrs Tannet.
LMrs Bennet. Mrs Mountfort.
А с т .
A cerumen bery I ha, ha, ha! How long has this
scheme been in
head? Lov. Some time. I am now convinc'd of what you have often been hinting to me, that I am confoundedly cheated by my
servants. Free. Oh, are you satisfied at last, Mr Lovel? I al
that there is not a worfe set of servants in the parish of St James's, than in your kitchen.
Lov. 'Tis with some difficulty I believe it now, Mr Freeman ; though, I must own, my expences often make me stare.
-Philip, I am sure, is an honest fellow; and I will swear for my blacks. If there is a rogue among my folks, it is that furly dog Tom.
Free. You are mistaken in every one. Philip is an hypocritical rascal ; Tom has a good deal of surly honelty about him ; and for your blacks, they are as bad as your whites.
Lo. Prithee, Freeman, how came you to be so well acquainted with my people? None of the wenches are handsome enough to move the affections of a middleaged gentleman as you are—ha, ha, ha!
Free. You are a young man, Mr Lovel, and take a pride in a number of idle unnecessary fervants, who are the plague and reproach of this kingdom.
Lov. Charles, you are an old-fashion'd fellow. Serpants a plague and reproach ! ha, ha, ha! I would have forty more, if my house would hold them. Why, man, in Jamaica, before I was ten years old, I had a hundred blacks kifling my feet every day.
Free. You gentry of the Western Illes are high-mettled ones, and love pomp and parade.--I have feen it delight your soul, when the people in the street have stared at your equipage ; especially if they whispered loud enough to be heard, “ That is squire Lovel, the great West« Indian”-ha, ha, ha!
Lov. I should be very sorry if we were as fplenetic as you northern islanders, who are devoured with melancholy and fog-ha, ha, ha! No, Sir, we are children of the sun, and are born to diffuse the bounteous favour which our noble parent is pleased to bestow on us. Free. I wish
your noble parent's regularity, and less of his fire. As it is, you consume fo fait, that not one in twenty of you live to be fifty years old. Lov. But in that fifty we live two hundred, my
dear; mark that -But to business—I am resolved upon my frolic- I will know whether my servants are rogues or not. If they are, I'll baftinado the rascals ; if not,
I think I ought to pay for my impertinence. Pray tell me, is not your Robert acquainted with my people? Perhaps he may give a little light into the thing.
Free. To tell you the truth, Mr Lovel, yoar servants are so abandoned, that I have forbid him your house. -However, if you have a mind to ask him any question, he shall be forthcoming.
Lov. Let us have him.
Free. You shall : but it is an hundred to one if you get any thing out of him ; for though he is a very honest fellow, yet he is so much of a servant, that he'll never tell any thing to the disadvantage of another.
-Who waits ? [Enter servant.] Send Robert to me. [Exit feruant.] And what was it determin'd you upor this project at last ?
Lov. This letter. It is an anonymous one, and so ought not to be regarded ; but it has fomething honest in it, and put me upon satisfying my curiosity Read it.
[Gives the latter. Free. I should know something of this hand-[Reads.
“ To Peregrine Lovel, Esq; • Please your honour, “ I take the liberty to acquaint your honour, that you are fadly cheated by your servants. -Your ho
will find it as I say I am not willing to be “ known ; whereof, if I am, it may bring one into 66 trouble. " So no more,
" Servant to command." LOdd and honest! Well--and now what are the steps you intend to take?
[Returns the letter. Lov. I shall immediately apply to my friend the manager for a disguise. Under the form of a gawky country boy, I will be an eye-witness of my servants behaviour.--You must affist me, Mr Freeman.
Free. As how, Mr Lovel ?
Lov. My plan is this I gave it out that I was going to my borough in Devonshire ; and yesterday set out with my fervant in great form, and lay at Basingstoke.
way down into the country, and told him that I would fol
low him ; instead of that, I turn'd back, and am juft come to town: Ecce figmem ! [Points to his boots,
Free. It is now one o'clock.
Ln. This very afternoon I shall pay my people a vifit.
Free. How will you get in?
Lov. When I am properly habited, you shall get me introduced to Philip as one of your tenants sons, who wants to be made a good servant of.
Free. They will certainly discover you,
Lov. Never fear; I'll be so countrify'd, that you Thall not know me. As they are thoroughly persuaded I am many miles off, they'll be more easily imposed on. Ten to one but they begin to celebrate my departure with a drinking bout, if they are what you describe them.
Free. Shall you be able to play your part ?
Lov. I am furprised, Mr Freeman, that you, who have known me from my infancy, should not remember my abilities in that way.-- But you old fellows have 6 short memories.
Free. What should I remember?
Love How I play'd Daniel in the Conscious Lovers at school, and afterwards arriv'd at the distinguished character of the mighty Mr Scrub- [Mimicking
Free. Ha, ha, ha! that is very well —Enough Here is Robert.
Free. Come here.—You know, Robert, I have a good opinion of your integrity.
Rob. I have always endeavoured that your honour should.
Free. Pray, have not you some acquaintance among Mr Lovel's people ? Rob. A little, please your
honour. Free. How do they behave ?-We have nobody but friends-you may speak out. Lov. Ay, Robert, speak out.