My dear Fanny, LXXX. To FANNY KEATS. [Postmark, Hampstead, 5 November 1818.] I have seen Mr. Abbey three times about you, and have not been able to get his consent. He says that once more between this and the Holydays will be sufficient. What can I do? I should have been at Walthamstow several times, but I am not able to leave Tom for so long a time as that would take me. Poor Tom has been rather better these 4 last days in consequence of obtaining a little rest a nights. Write to me as often as you can, and believe that I would do any thing to give you any pleasure-we must as yet wait patiently. Your amende Honorable I must call "un surcroit d'Amitié," for I am not at all sensible of anything but that you were unfortunately engaged and I was unfortunately in a hurry. I completely understand your feeling in this mistake, and find in it that balance of comfort which remains after regretting your uneasiness. I have long made up my mind to take for granted the genuine heartedness of my friends, notwithstanding any temporary ambiguousness in their behaviour or their tongues, nothing of which however I had the least scent of this morning. I say completely understand; for I am everlastingly getting my mind into such-like painful trammels-and am even at this moment suffering under them in the case of a friend of ours.-I will tell you two most unfortunate and parallel slips-it seems down-right preintention.-A friend says to me, "Keats, I shall go and see Severn this week."-"Ah! (says I) you want him to take your Portrait."—And again, "Keats," says a friend, "when will you come to town again?"—"I will," says I, "let you have the MS. next week." In both these cases I appeared to attribute an interested motive to each of my friends' questions-the first made him flush, the second made him look angry :—and yet I am innocent in both cases; my mind leapt over every interval, to what I saw was per se a pleasant subject with him. You' see I have no allowances to make-you see how far I am from supposing you could show me any neglect. I very much regret the long time I have been obliged to exile from you: for I have one or two rather pleasant occasions to confer upon with you. What I have heard from George is favourable-I expect a letter from the Settlement itself. Your sincere friend I cannot give any good news of Tom. John Keats. My dear Fanny, LXXXII. To FANNY KEATS. Tuesday Morn [Postmark, Hampstead, 1 December 1818.] Poor Tom' has been so bad that I have delayed your visit hither-as it would be so painful to you both. I cannot say he is any better this morning-he is in a very dangerous state-I have scarce any hopes of him. Keep up your spirits for me my dear Fanny-repose entirely in I am greatly obliged to you. I must needs feel flattered by making an impression on a set of ladies. I should be content to do so by meretricious romance verse, if they alone, and not men, were to judge. I should like very much to know those ladies-though look here, Woodhouse-I have a new leaf to turn over: I must work; I must read; I must write. I am unable to 'He died the same day, and was buried in the church of St. Stephen, Coleman Street, on the 7th of December 1818. afford time for new acquaintances. I am scarcely able to do my duty to those I have. Leave the matter to chance. But do not forget to give my remembrances to your cousin. Yours most sincerely John Keats LXXXIV. To MRS. REYNOLDS. Wentworth Place, Tuesd[ay, 15 or 22 December, 1818]. [Imperfect Postmark, De... 1818.] My dear Mrs. Reynolds, When I left you yesterday, 'twas with the conviction that you thought I had received no previous invitation for Christmas day: the truth is I had, and had accepted it under the conviction that I should be in Hampshire at the time: else believe me I should not have done so, but kept in Mind my old friends. I will not speak of the proportion of pleasure I may receive at different Houses-that never enters my head-you may take for a truth that I would have given up even what I did see to be a greater pleasure, for the sake of old acquaintanceship_time is nothing-two years are as long as twenty. Yours faithfully LXXXV. To BENJAMIN ROBERT HAYDON. My dear Haydon, Tuesday, Wentworth Place [Postmark, 23 December 1818]. Upon my Soul I never felt your going out of the room at all—and believe me I never rhodomontade anywhere but in your Company-my general Life in Society is silence. I feel in myself all the vices of a Poet, irritability, love of effect and admiration—and influenced by such devils I may at times say more ridiculous things than I am aware of-but I will put a stop to that in a manner I have long resolved upon-I will buy a gold ring and put it on my finger-and from that time a Man of superior head shall never have occasion to pity me, or one of inferior Nunskull to chuckle at me. I am certainly more for greatness in a shade than in the open day-I am speaking as a mortal-I should say I value more the privilege of seeing great things in loneliness than the fame of a Prophet. Yet here I am sinning-so I will turn to a thing I have thought on more I mean you[r] means till your picture be finished: not only now but for this year and half have I thought of it. Believe me Haydon I have that sort of fire in my heart that would sacrifice every thing I have to your service-I speak without any reserve-I know you would do so for me-I open my heart to you in a few words. I will do this sooner than you shall be distressed: but let me be the last stay-Ask the rich lovers of Art first-—I'll tell you why I have a little money which may enable me to study, and to travel for three or four years. I never expect to get any thing by my Books and moreover I : |