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Chapter 19th treats of vessels with their tackling ; such as,
The mainsail of imagination. This mainsail eats-“half its food is poison."
The rudder of sound discretion, &c.
Chapter 19th is particularly interesting to politicians, who may find in it an inexhaustible fund of talk, about steering and navigating the vessel of the state.
Chapter 20th, the sons and the daughters ; as, for example,
Besides sons, daughters, handmaid, and nurslings, Chapter 20th includes the parentage and degrees of relationship subsisting between ideal beings of every sort, with the best examples for extending this kind of consanguinity to inanimate objects ; as,
The sons of the Forest, (viz. tall trees.)
In Chapter 21st, on personifications, will be found very minute and ample directions for dressing all sorts of allegorical personages, Pride in purple, Joy in rose colours, and Woe with black wings, &c. &c.
There is also a chapter appropriated to the line, the walk, the circle, and the sphere. One upon the word “interesting,' upon the word “strains,' upon rays diverging from, or verging towards, a point, both extremely useful ingredients in swelling, extending, and lengthening out a paragraph, and which have ever been mixed, in such quantities, as to form no inconsiderable part of some pretty sizeable volumes. There are seven chapters of similies all finely alliterated, or finely compounded. One upon strange beasts ; such as,
The tiger of Orangeism.
And another of singular plants and vegetable substances. Take, for example,
The weeds of disregard.
The fungus of abuse, with which, in our times, the commonwealth is overrun.
The intellectual fibre in all its varieties of growth.
In this section great attention has been paid to give the locality, with the discoverer's names, as far as such particulars can be ascertained.
This work will also include a collection, which may be styled fasciculi, or little bundles, consisting of vocables of similar sound and length, cut even like a bundle of herbs, and paraded in a string. A collection of Frenchified and other exotic embellishments, chiefly gastronomic, for the use of persons un peu roturier, who are desirous of passing for vastly genteel; and a collation of rambling terminations, with transmutations in is, and ist, and ism, whereby the most common and familiar words being changed from adjectives into nouns, and from nouns into adjectives, acquire an erudite and pompous exterior. As, for example, tutorial instruction, professional dig. nity, pictorial powers, melodic powers, Edenic beauties, Prioric talents, hermetical solitude, Miltonic plaints, and so on.
For the convenience of those who may wish to construct a cosmonogy, or other learned system, a collection of such necessary philosophical tackling as the great chain of being, force of circumstances, primordial law, determining principle, has been carefully got together. And if with these one cannot construct a universe, with its inhabitants, the deuce is in it. Likewise numerous examples of the arrangement of words into sentences, which seem, at first sight, to convey some meaning, though upon a nearer examination, dipus himself would be unable to unravel it.
There are chapters of exclamations, interrogations, inversions, augmentatives, and diminutives. For the satisfaction of the curious, there is a treatise upon unfashionable metaphors, which, though now exploded, saw good service in the ponderous tomes of the seventeenth century; where we read of the primum mobile, with its attendant orbs, of mental digestion, bad mental concoction, which maketh an unwholesome chylas, and a sentence sets off with a simile concerning Periander the wise man, or Solon the Athenian, Alexander the Great, his humility, or the sun, when he entereth upon the first sign Aries.
In this section of antiquated metaphors will be included specimens of the far-fetched, with the use of the two little syllables, as and so; by which simple machinery any odd scrap of learning, or any piece of information, was rendered available. Take, for example,
As the little fish which marcheth before the whale to lead him through the waters, lest his unwieldiness should dash him against the rocks, so, &c.
Or, As the stone which resteth when it has arrived at the centre of the earth, so, &c.
As the panther which so loveth the herb henbane, that he leapeth and frisketh about it, when placed somewhat out of his reach, till he falleth down with weariness, and dieth upon the place, so, &c. &c.
Such things are not the taste at present. Egotism has superseded pedantry; and it certainly is much pleasanter and much easier to talk of one's-self, than of the herb henbane, Periander the wise man, or Solon the Athenian.
But to return to our intended publication. It is needless to go into further detail. Suffice it to say, that instead of imitating those impertinent theorists, who are possessed by a mania for generalizing and system-building, and who insist upon accounting for every effect by the operation of some one general principle, the object of this work is to indicate and point out the great variety of means and resources that may be made available for the improvement of a fine and grandiloquent style of writing. He who knows not this style knows nothing—not even how to pen an ordinary hand-bill. For all the common purposes of life it has superseded every other. Our newspapers are full of it from beginning to end. Narrative, advertisements, speeches, every thing is done in it. Every orator, in our days, is bursting with his feelings. Every unfortunate dog of a public performer must be entirely overpowered with emotion, at every the least symptom of public encouragement. What an unconscionable expense of sensibility is a man put to, when he goes to a public feast, and makes a speech after dinner! If, by way of local information, we are treated with a description of some remarkable personage, instead of saying, as a man would say if he spoke the sober truth, that in such a town or district there lives an old fellow who makes sorry verses, that he is short or tall, brown or fair, we are told that he has a facial expression, which announces that he has looked upon high hills, and tended cows, or sheep perchance, or geese, in his youth; and that the bumps on his forehead, ragged hairs, and other phrenological symptoms, indicate that this said old fellow is a much greater genius than the world takes him to be. If a carrier's wagon is overset in a slough, with a couple of country wenches in it, the paragraph maker, being one of those, whose favourite embellishment is alliteration, an opportunity so suitable for rising to an elevated style is not to be resisted, and the fair passengers are rescued from peril by the prowess of a passing pigman. One shopkeeper announces that he has been sedulous, and emulous, and strenuous, in his exertions to merit a continuation of the flattering and distinguished patronage he has hitherto received. Another, with much polite and respectful courtesy, invites “ the connoisseurs in pickled herrings,” to inspect certain casks that have lately come to hand. What more remains to be said, but that it is cultivated by peruquiers, by the vendors of cosmetics and shoe-blacking, by the dealers in nick-nacks and curiosities, and, in short, by all who find it convenient to talk of their matters in a grave and general way, without descending to be too plain or explicit; and more especially, by those who have occasion to excuse themselves for some shabby mean action, or notable roguery. It is true there are cynical persons in the world, who are ready to jeer at all men's good parts; and who, of course, never fail to carp at such exhibitions of talent. But if the multitude exclaim, “ What clever, first-rate writing !" or, “what superior oratory !" it does not signify though two or three obscure folks in a corner should mutter out between their teeth, “ What vain nonsense! what unprofitable babbling !"
BY THE AUTHOR OF “AN ESSAY ON WOMAN,” THE “ Saxon's
Italia! land of arts and arms,
Long wandering northern climes, where chill
Mother of heroes ! mighty land !
THE CHARITY SISTER.1
BY THE HON. MRS. ERSKINE NORTON.
AFFAIRS were in this situation, when, on the Wednesday morning, after breakfast, Rosabelle's heart beat to observe the carriage of her mother-in-law advancing up the avenue. Fanchette could plainly see in it Miss Altamont and Mrs. Milicent-William was on horseback beside it.
The carriage drew up to the door, and Miss Altamont and her attendant alighted: they proceeded up stairs, and the servant in waiting, formally announced Miss Altamont, as he threw open the door of the apartment. Lady Altamont rose from her chair, but did not advance; she coldly waved her visiter to a seat, and Mrs. Milicent took one at the further end of the room.
Miss Altamont hesitated, for she was not quite prepared for this style of reception; she expected tears, and complaints, and explanations, but she was deceived. Lady Altamont calmly awaited the object of her visit.
“ The task I am about to undertake," at length said Miss Altamont, “is a most painful one : would that it could have been entrusted to any other than myself! but my mother declines it, and I have no alternative. You cannot but be aware, Lady Altamont, that certain reports have been spread during our winter residence in town, regarding the sentiments of the Count de Beauvilliers towards you, of a nature, which however complimentary they may be considered in your country, are justly condemned in ours."
She paused, and seemed to expect some observation, but none was made.
“ These reports were, I am sorry to say, confirmed by many circumstances, especially by the testimony of your own confidential servant, Fanchette, who rather seemed to boast of what she ought to have been so thoroughly ashamed."
Lady Altamont looked at Fanchette ; the girl buried her face in her hands, and wept.
Miss Altamont proceeded : “ The Count de Beauvilliers did not himself deny the truth of the assertions that were made; so much the reverse, that it appears he suffered certain inuendos concerning a visit he intended making you here, to escape him in the absence of your husband, to whom the conversation was faithfully reported. The visit was made; I need not detail under what circumstances—I blush to recall them. My brother was informed of all that occurred; he and his friend proceeded to Calais, and there met the Count and Lord Henry Beauclerk. ----"
Continued from page 271.