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SCENE V.

Goofecap, Old Lady, and afterwards Betty, introducing Simon.

Goofe. Who can this be the means to wed? I think she loves him too, fhe faid:

The falfe ungrateful

0. Lady. Tell me, Sir,

What do you mean by all this stir
Indeed, fo mov'd!

Goofe. I will, I swear,

Come to the bottom of th' affair.

O. Lady. You think me, then, not worth an answer?

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man, Sir.

Goofe. Madam, excufe me, pray; I find
Myfelf, juft now, difturb'd in mind.
Hey-day! What's here? Who's this I fee?
Betty. My husband, Sir, that is to be.

How do you like him?

Simon. Sir, I'm yours.

Goofe. Mine, dog! This inftant out of doors! Betty, is he your choice?

Betty. I hope

You find him worthy

Goofe. Of a rope!

Rafcal, I fay, let go her hand!

Simon. For what?

0. Lady. I am able to command

My rage no longer.

Goofe. Let her go.

0. Lady. Sir, Mr Goofecap, do you know How you're behaving to me here?

Goofe. Betty! my life! my foul! my dear! Turn that young jackanapes away:

I'll

marry you.

O. Lady. Hum.!

Betty. When?

Goofe. To-day.

Try, Madam, to prevail upon her.

O. Lady. I!

Betty. Will you tho'?
Goofe. Upon my honour.

Betty.

CC 2

Betty. Then, Simon, by your leave.
Simon. Hey! how!

falfe-hearted? Where's your vow?

Are you
Betty. Gone.

Simon Then, by Jove, I've well got shut.
Betty. But here's a wife.

0. Lady. You faucy flut!

Pray, Mr Goofecap, tell me this;

Are you refolv'd to wed her?
Goofe. Yes.

0. Lady. And is't behaving as you ought?
Goofe. 'Tis my misfortune, not my fault;
I cannot help it.

Betty. Will you ftay,

And be a bride-maid?

Goofe. Do, Ma'am, pray.

0. Lady. You numpfcull, you ideot, you grey-headed afs,

Who is she? who are you? who am I? do you

know?

At this time of day, men are come to that pass,

They're vainer and fillier the older they grow.
At your time of life,

Is this a fit wife?

To a dark room and ftraw, thou

A word too in your ear,

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She'll horn her dearest dear;
She will, Sir, indeed,
Believ't as your creed:
I can your fortune tell ;
And to-morrow you'll fee
A lawyer from me;

And fo, Sir, fare-you-well.
SCENE VI.

Goofecap, Simon, Betty.

Simon. And, Miftrefs Betty, now we're cool,

Is't thus you ferve me

Geofe. Out you fool.

Simon. I'll be reveng'd for't, never stir.

Betty. Come, you muft raife his wages, Sir.

A better miftrefs than a wife

You'll find me, Simon.

Goofe. Here, my life,

Receive

Receive my hand,

Betty. And take you mine.

A. 2. Darts, flames, joy, ecftafy divine!
Goofe. My heart's a forge where Beauty's fon,
Young Cupid and his mam are;

There his darts fhe moulds,

And the anvil holds ;

The little urchin beats them on,
Ton, ton, ton, ton.

Hark! don't you hear his hammer?
Betty. We always find our parish clock
To the fame motion fticking.
So my hearts to you

In its motion true:

Firft at my breast you made it knock,
Toc, toc, toc, toc:

Hark! don't you hear it clicking?

Goofe. My love!.

Betty. My dove !

Goofe. My chicken,

Do you love me now?"

Betty. So well, I vow,

Words are too weak to tell you

Goofe. Good lack!

Betty. I'fack!

A. 2. What is it ails me?

Somewhat affails me,

That thrills and disorders;

'Tis pleasure that borders

On pain.

Yet I wear by this kifs,

And by this, and by this,

I'd rather endure it,

Than foften or cure it,,

how..

And cherish it while I complain.
Goofe. Now I'll go buy the wedding-ring.
A. 2. And then we'll love, and dance, and fing,
And frisk and play,

Both night and day,

Like any thing.

SCENE VII.

Goofecap, Betty, Simon, Old Lady.

Betty. Blefs me, her ladyfhip comes back."

Cc 3

Goofe

Goofe. No matter, 'tis fome new attack.
Well, Madam, your commands fpeak out.
O. Lady. I hope I'm welcome.
Betty. Without doubt.

O. Lady. I'm reconcil'd to our mifcarriage,
And came to laugh, Sir, at your marriage.
Goofe. Laugh, Ma'am?

Betty. 'Tis neither shame nor fin.

O. Lady. No, no; and when you please begin.
Goofe. O mighty love, who can controul
Thy influence o'er the human foul;
Thy power is felt from pole to pole,
By victims great and many.
You turn at will all people's wits,
And make them mad and fools by fits;
But ftill where'er thy arrow hits,
The old fool's worse than any.
O.Lady. Love is, in youth, a pleafing fruit,
Does with the feafon aptly fuit;
And where its fertile branches shoot,
With health and joy we're feafted:
But love with age will never chime,
'Tis a tree bearing out of time,
The fruit nor wholefome is nor prime,

But fickens where 'tis tafted.
Simon. In ancient fable we are told,
Alcides of immortal mould,

Did for a wench a distaff hold,
And gravely fat to fpinning.
Think when the fool a mafter plays,
And weds his maid, although he ftrays,
He is no worse than Hercules;

And pray, Sirs, fpare your grinning.
Betty. Folks may find fault with this and that,
Say love with youth comes only pat,
That youthful pairs give tit for tat,
And all goes fine and clever;
That age fhould prudent be and cold:
But if men love not e'er they're old,
Thus much to fay, I will be bold,

'Tis better late than never.

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An Apartment at Sir HECTOR STRANGEWAYS,

Enter Sir Hector and Lady Di.

Sir Hector. An impudent puppy, to pefter me with his fees of honour; I thought that at

court it was not honourable to pay any thing. Lady Di. But, Sir Hector Strangeways

Sir Hec. But, Lady Di Strangeways, I tell you again,

that if I had all the wealth of the Spanish galleons, I

would

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