For all the world like any cow.

I'll try again, if you defire.
Betty. And welcome.

Simon. Lord, I'm all on fire.

Betty. Now, Simon, these delights are sweet; But let's be cautious and difcreet:

Th' old gentleman, you know, loves me ;

However, I love you, d'ye fee,.

And mean to leave him in the lurch..

Simon. And when shall us be ax'd in church?

Betty. Next week, perhaps.

Simon, And not before?

Betty. Have patience; what would

I fay I'll marry you.

Simon. Good Lord!

One kifs.

Betty. But mum now.

Simon. Not a word.

you

have more?

Betty.

To

marry mafter are you bent,

You first fhall ftay for my confent ::
I have not taken all this pains
To let another count my gains:
But, how to fruftrate the old fool!·
I'll make this bumpkin here my tool;
Pretend with him to drive a match;
My mafter will, like wild-fire, catch
The tidings, and be ftrait in flame;
And then leave me to play my game.

Bb 3

Men

Men are wily, men are cunning,
Still in wait our fex to catch;
But, their fubtle mazes running,
Now and then they meet their match.
Shame, dear girls, thofe vile undoers,
Schemes with deeper fchemes o'er-reach
Boldly turn on your purfuers,

And foil them with the arts they teach.
SCENE VI.

;

Changes to a Street; on one Side, the Old Lady's Houfe; on the other Side, Goofecap's. Goofecap enters with the Old Lady.

Goofe. In fhort, this, Madam, is my plan;
Would you a husband, I'm your man:
You are not handsome, nor yet young,
But on that theme I hold my tongue;

And, if you take me, you
fhall find
I'll prove a help-mate true and kind.
0. Lady. Are you in earnest, Sir?
Goofe. In troth.

0. Lady. Nay, I'll believe, without your oath; And, fince you make fo fair an offer,

I will not vainly flight the proffer :
I am not over young, 'tis true;
And, let me fay, no more are you;
And, if I have no charms to fpare,
Your beauty, Sir, is nothing rare.

Goofe. Mens years and features are no matter;
And mine may pass, or fome folks flatter.
Say, will you have me, ay or no?

fo.

O. Lady. 1 will, Sir; I have told you
Goofe. Then, Madam, yield to my request;
Yonder's my houfe; few words are best
When folks are fix'd in their defign.
Come with me there to-day and dine;
A bit of mutton, en famille,

And afterwards we'll fign and feal.

O. Lady. But are you not too much in hafte ? Goofe. Why should we time in courtship waste? 0. Lady. Nay, as you pleafe; but then, I must Step in, my head-drefs to adjuft.

Goofe

Goofe. I'll wait your coming, Madam, here: But let me lead you, pray.

Q. Lady. O dear!

You gentlemen are fo polite !
But, pray, no farther stir;

You fhan't, I vow; you fhame me quite;
Your humble fervant, Sir.

But, Mifter Goosecap, hark'e;
Pray, did I rightly mark you?
To-morrow, did you say,
Should be your wedding-day?
Well, let it if you will;
In all that's juft and right,
You'll find me day and night
Your most obedient still.

SCENE VII.

Goofecap; Betty and Simon enter behind; and after-
wards the Old Lady.
Goofe. Well, after all, now, by this light,
That which my neighbour fays is right!

Gad, fhe's a woman of good fenfe

;

Virtuous, and not without the pence;

And as for beauty, ''tis a dream,

All women foon become the fame.

Betty. Here, Simon, we must both stand ready;

I faw him talking with my lady;

But he's as cunning as old Nick,

And I fufpect fome mummer's trick.

Simon. Let us go nearer.

Betty. Hold take heed!

Goofe. Beauty is but a dream, indeed!'

And youth a flow'r that foon decays.

Betty. He's talking.

Simon. Hark!

Betty. What is't he says?

Simon. Something I could not hear, could you?
Betty. No; liften, and obferve your cue.
Goofe. I never was half fo well pleas'd in my life.
How came I before not to think of a wife?
Odds rabbits and niggers, the more I reflect,

I

It is the best measure,

For profit and pleasure,

I could have adopted, in every refpect..
Betty. And fo you fhall find in effect.
Goofe. Miftrefs Betty fhall fee,
And that to her forrow,

By this time to-morrow,

I can be as headstrong as fhe.
Simon. Odds my life this is no mumming,
Here's the gentlewoman coming,
Drefs'd as fine as fine can be..

Betty. All bedizen'd,

Perfum'd, poifon'd!'

A. 2. O, fhe is a fine lady.

O. Lady. My confufion is fo great, Sir;
I'm afraid I've made you wait, Sir.

Gosfe. Not at all, maʼam;

Take the wall, ma'am,

And oblige me with your

hand.

0. Lady. Sir, I'm all at your command.
Betty. Hold, Sir, if you please, permit me,.
In my office, to acquit me.

Fal, lal, lal, lal, lal, lal, loo.

By your leave, and stand aside there;

Room for Mifter Goofecap's bride there.
O. Lady. Who are these? Do you know who?
Goofe. Betty, I've a mind to beat you.

A. 2. Both your fervants come to meet you.
Betty. With low curtfies, ma'am, I greet you.
Goofe. Get you gone, you devils, do.
0. Lady. Mifter Goofecap, maid or wife,
Never was I, in my life,

Treated me with fo much ill manners.

A. 2. Cupid, Hymen, spread your banners;
March before this happy pair.

Love and beauty,

'Tis our duty..

Goofe. Slut! Dog! Tell me how you dare

O. Lady. Ufe this freedom.

Goofe. Never heed them;

I'll chaftife them, you may fwear.

A. 2. Husband rare!

Charming fair.

Betty.

Betty. Fa, ra, la, ra, la, ra, la!

Simon. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

O Lady. Don't you fee me made their scorn?
Were your offers t'amufe me?

Did you bring me to abuse me?
Had I thought

I was brought

Goose. Oh, that ever I was born!

Stay, my lady,

I am ready.

0. Lady. Laugh'd at, banter'd!
Goofe. Is't my fault?

Simon. Mafter yonder's quite aftonish'd.
0. Lady. For that flut I'll have her punish'd;
Laid in Bridewell, as he ought.

Betty. Fa, ral, la, ra, la, ra, la !
Simon. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
A. 4. Such a fcene,

As this has been,

Sure no mortal ever faw.

A Hall in Goofecap's House.

Goofecap enters, driving Simon in before him with bis

Cane.

Simon.TELP! help! here, hold, Sir, go no further; Icod you'll make me cry out murder;

› And if I do

Goofe. What then?

Simon. Why, then,

You may repent.

Goofe. Take that again;

A ftroke or two will never kill

you.

Simon. Once more, I fay, be eafy, will you?

What have I done?

Goofe. You dog, you knave,

What have you done! you ought to have
Your ears cut off, for your affurance;

And then at leaft a twelve-months durance.