To utter all my fond, fond thoughts; to tell
The ftory of my woes, and hear of thine;
While at each word our hearts fhall melt within us,
And thrill with grief, with tenderness, and love.
Fer. The tale fhall ferve us in our future hours
Of tender intercourse, to sweeten pain,
To calm adverfity, and teach our fouls
To bend in love, in gratitude, and praise,
To the All-good on high, who thus befriends
The cause of innocence; who thus rewards
Our fuff'ring conftancy: whofe hand, tho' flow,
Thus leads to rapture thro' a train of wo.

A Chamber: Goofecap is difcover'd feated at a Table, leaning upon his Arm, in a penfive Manner.

S

URE never mortal, at my age,

Was fuch a buzzard, fuch a calf:

A man whom years should render fage!
I know not which, to cry or laugh.
In love at fixty-fix!

Oons! infamy should fix
A brand on the crime:
Is threescore a time

For beginning boyish tricks?
VOL. V.

B b

Betty!

Betty!
Betty!

This is wond'rous civil.
How now! What the devil!
Will the come, or will fhe not?
No; fhe never heads a jot
When I call, how long I wait:
Well, I muft fubmit to fate:
I took her for my maid, but she
Refolves the will my mistress be.

SCENE II.

Goofecap, Betty.

Betty. Mercy upon us, here's a stir; Sure you have loft your fenfes, Sir.

Goofe. My breakfaft, huffey.

Betty. Time enough.

Goofe. You've let me bawl.

Betty. "Twill cure your cough.

Goofe. You might have faid you did not hear me.

Betty. Why, was I deaf?

Goofe. Then don't you fear me?

Betty. For what? to fear me you were made.
Goofe. Plague, fury, 'fdeath, you flut! you jade!
Betty. Nay, hufh, good master, hush;

I vow and fwear, I blush

To hear you make this riot :
Be quiet, Sir, be quiet;

Submit, obey;

'Tis the wifeft way;
My word is your law,
And fhould you with awe,
Like Jove's imperial fiat:
You furely grow forgetful;
You're ugly, old, and fretful;
And for what fhould I catch
Such a fright, fuch a wretch,
When of young, gay, and brave,
If I would, I might have,
With half a look, my net-full?

SCENE

SCENE III.

Goofecap, Betty, Simon.

Goofe. Here, Simon, fetch my hat and cane.

Betty. What now, Sir!

Goofe. Simon!

Betty. "Tis in vain ;

You must not go abroad to-day;

You are not well, Sir.

Goofe. Give me way.

Betty. I will not let you budge from hence.
Goofe. Muft I then bear this infolence?

Tell me, thou devil, whence it springs?

Betty. Simon, take back your master's things.
Simon. He bid me fetch them.

Betty. That may be;

But now he ftays at home with me :
He thought to go abroad.

Goofe. And will;

I'm your, and my own mafter still.

Simon, my hat, my cane, my cloak.

Betty. Well, come, dear Sir, I did but joke;

Since you'r refolv'd, you fhall go out;

But must not leave me in a pout.

Goofe. I'll leave you in what way I please ;

And to do that your heart shall teaze ;

For, miftrefs vixen, hear but this,

I'll marry:
Betty. No.

Goofe. I will

Betty. No.

Goofe. Yes.

Betty. If proper for the married life, I would myfelf become your wife.

Goofe. You!

Betty. Yes, I.

Goose. Dare you further urge

Your boldnefs?

Betty. Yes.

Goofe. I vow to George,

She has a most alluring eye.

Yet I will marry.

B b z

Betty.

Betty. Fye, fye, fye.

Goofe. I will, I will, by all that's bad,
If there's a female to be had :
Though er face be like a vizard,
And he's crooked as an izard;
Curs'd as curs, and old as Poles,
I will marry her, by goles.

There's my neighbour, Lady Blinker,
Some a homely woman think her;
She, 'tis true, has but one eye,
And's a little thought awry ;
Yet with her I'll make a shift,
To turn you, impudence, adrift.

SCENE IV.

Betty, Simon.

Betty. Well, Simon, what's the best with you?
Simon. Sir's in a paffion.

Betty. That's not new;

I think he's in one ev'ry day:

Come, have you nothing else to say?

Simon. What fhould I say?

Betty. Nothing to me.

Simon. What!

Betty. Nay, you beft know that.

Simon. (Laughing.) He, he!

Betty. You might have wanted to unfold

Your heart.

Simon. I dare not be fo bold.

Betty. You love me, Simon, no disguise.

Simon. Lord, who could tell you that?

Betty. Your eyes.

Simon. Well, fince they've told you fo, I do.
Betty. You would be glad to kiss me too!

Say, am I right or am I wrong?

Come, kifs me, Simon.

Simon. Get along:

You're making game of me, I know.

Betty. Not I; come, kifs.

Simon. But may I tho'?

Betty. Try.

Simon. That I will; fhe breathes, I vow,

For