66 for our phosphorus box, and the first glimmer our candle bestows, serves only to discover sights of woe,"-the water frozen an inch thick in our washhand ewer, and the soap, of the hard ness and consistence of a whinstone. At last, however, we manage to dress, and recall to the chimney, by the help of a few sticks, something which, from the clouds of smoke, might almost be mistaken for a fire, except that it gives no particle of heat. It is now three hours till morning chapel, and our books are all properly disposed for a serious and uninterrupted study. While our toes are perfectly dead, and buried in the frozen tomb of our unbrushed shoes; while our hair, in spite of brush and comb, falls lankly adown our clay-cold brow; while our poor, miserable, blue-looking fingers can scarcely turn over the pages, we meet with some beautiful passage in the poets but at that moment, all the brightness of all the classics we would exchange for a roaring fire, and all the eloquence of Cicero is cold and value less, compared to an additional blanket. Time, however, lags on. The grey light serves to shew our window beautifully ornamented with variegations of frost-work, and our window sole comfortably imbedded two or three inches in snow. Then we hear the crackling of the frosty ground, as the porter trudges across to ring the chapel bell. Then our scout comes in to light our fire, and we see him looking fresh and ruddy, with a shovel full of coals in his hand, while he gapes in open-mouthed surprise, and beholds a poor, shivering, half animated individual sitting before him, with a nose red at the end as a kitchen poker, and a whole countenance mottled and speckled like a tartan plaid. We manage to get to chapel at half past seven, and afterwards walk round the gardens till nine. At ten, after a cup of coffee and a round of toast, we are at our books again, and find, on beginning where we left off, that it is impossible to discover where that was, as after the sentence where we shut our volumes last night, we have a total oblivion of ever having seen the book before. Till three o'clock, we continue bending over our books, unless when our attention is luckily interrupted by a cough, which compels us to sit for a few minutes erect. We then, till din ner time, indulge in a constitutional walk, and Headington Hill and Joe Pullen behold our care-worn counte nance-gapes High-street after our en feebled pace, and wonders at the sal low coating with which Aristotle has bedaubed our cheek, and the blueness under the eyes which we received from our contests with Thucydides. At six, we are again at our desk, and at twelve-with an interval of some coffeewe tumble into our couch, with a strange jumble of history, and home, and ethics; and with temples throbbing with pain, and nerves sha. ken by confinement, we dream that Pindar is riding a race on the longtailed pony our youngest sister rides upon the lawn, while Eschylus is murdering our father in the deep green glen, on the banks of the river, where we parted with our dear Mary on that oft-remembered evening before we came off to College. This course we persist in for three years, and when the time draws near which is to re ward us for all our toil, when we are to be sent home crowned with the highest honours of the University, our care and our cough increase in exact proportion, and a week before the Examination, our cheek is so hollow and our eyes so dim, that every one sees we are unable for the trial. We take off all our books, except what may enable us to take a common pass, and what with the little we are able to recollect, and what with moving the compassion of the examiners, we are lucky enough to escape a pluck; and on going home, we find our Mary engaged to a robustious, red-faced bache lor, who blundered into an under-theline; and so, we lose all hope of distinguishing ourselves by our learning, and instead of swallowing the boluses of the doctor, we bibulate gin and wa ter with the gamekeeper, and die of hard drinking, a sacrifice to Greek, Latin, gin, mathematics, and disappointment. This case, in all its branches, we must confess, never came within the scope of our own observation. For our own part, we took all the honours the University could bestow, and never by mortal eye were we seen to look upon a book. To the world we appeared the idlest lounger upon Highstreet; the most constant frequenter of cricket upon Bullington; the whip was seldom out of our hands, and our whole time seemed devoted to gaiety ters of beef-steak. Egg after egg disappears with wonderful celerity, toast is whipt off by cart loads, and yet the insatiate gormandizers exclaim for more. Pause, we adjure you, by the memory of the supper of last night, which even now has hardly had time to turn the corner of your gullet !-by the expectation of the luncheon which will be served up to you in two hours! and enjoyment. Our corporeal appearance rather improved than dege nerated-our waist in the course of a term increased two or three inches in circumference, our cheek grew red as the sunny side of a Clydesdale apple, our eye continued clear as the rent roll of the Duke of Buccleuch, and to see us as we mounted our gallant roan, you would have said that Kitchener was our Lexicon, and Ude our Mag-but, no! nothing will stop their allnus Apollo. And yet, gracious! we are amazed when we reflect on the extent of our acquirements; ancient Rome, and every particular of her an tiquities and history, are as minutely known to us, as the three sixpences which are at this moment lurking at the bottom of our breeches' pocket; Greece we see the rise, decline, and fall of, as distinctly as we see the candle which is now burning before us; Egypt has poured forth her learning; hieroglyphics upon pyramids are as easy to us as epitaphs on tomb-stones; and yet all this without apparent la bour, without an hour of observable application, but solely by the power of our own abilities, and without care or attention whatsoever. But with others, the case is, no doubt, very different. We have known many who were as idle as ourself, as careless and abhorrent of books; but mark the consequence! they were disgraced, either by being plucked at Oxford, or what, perhaps, was equal degradation, walked off and became wranglers at Cambridge. There is no period of a man's life, in which so many changes take place on his outward and inward man, as the three years which are spent at College. During his first year he is involved in all manner of idleness and riot. Behold him, as the bell tolls its last chime for chapel, crawl across the quadrangle with his eyes hardly open, his dress by no means a pattern of neatness, his gown thrown loosely on, and his cap stuck all awry on the extreme summit of his aching head. Af ter chapel, his toilet occupies his attention; scrupulously is his hair brushed and curled; carefully is his neck cloth tied, and "gay as for a holiday he bounes him to the breakfast. Here ample proof is afforded that the human stomach is a great deal more elastic than Cahoutchuc. These four individuals have already devour ed four pounds and three quarVOL. XXIV. " devouring jaws; milk diluted very powerfully with rum, tea thickened very densely with chopped up eggs-all disappear all, all at one fell swoop. At luncheon, the recollection of the breakfast seems to be nearly as distinct as the shape of last summer's clouds; and at dinner, “all trivial fond records, all memory" of luncheon and breakfast, seem plucked entirely from their bosoms; for they set to as vigorously upon this, the third occasion, as if they had never seen any thing like a dinner before, and never anticipated seeing any thing resembling it again. All this is, of course, succeeded by copious-libations of wine; and a row on the street, and a blood y nose from a butcher or the flying pieman, form the appropriate conclusion to a day so tastefully and philosophically enjoyed. The ordinary routine of eating and drinking at home, is of course occasionally diversified by "larks" into the country; and then, Bicester stares with amazement, Headington holds up its hands, Woodstock and Abingdon open their eyes, and even Banbury and Reading are astonished at the Freshman's roarings, hollowings, witty sayings, and jocularity. The second year sees him a changed man, with not quite so much horror of a book, but perhaps a somewhat increased abhorrence of a dun. Seldom does he equitate at all, and if he does, the extent of his canter is to lunch quietly with a friend at Abingdon; gradually, he falls out of acquaintance with the Proctor, and doesn't favour him with a morning call perhaps above once a term. Not so often is he condemped by his tutor to exercise his Latinity on papers in the Spectator; and, in short, though sometimes breaking loose, he is now a very respectable character, and increased in favour with every body, but his wine merchant and his scout. The third year sees him still farther altered from what he was. To almost every one that period 5 S brings important changes, and on us its effect was marvellous. We think that very few of our acquaintances, during some of the vacations, while reading for their degree, escaped the same fate with ourself. Need we say after this that we fell in love,-desperately in love? We had gone into Devonshire, for the purpose of being more retired, that we might study more attentively, and with less chance of interruption, than in a town. We chose, accordingly, for our residence, one of the most beautiful and retired cottages we ever saw. It was situated very near the sea; and On! what thoughts used to steal over us, of romance and true love, as we gazed upon that quiet ocean, from the vine-covered window of our quiet, sweet, secluded home! Day after day, we wandered among the woods in the neighbourhood, and rejoiced, at each successive visit, to find out new beauties. This continued for some time; till at last, on returning one day, we saw an unusual bustle in the room we occupied. On entering, we found our landlady hurrying out in great confusion, and, along with her, a beautiful, blushing girl, so perfectly ladylike in her appearance, that we wondered by what means our venerable hostess could have become acquainted with so interesting a visitor. She soon explained the mystery; this lady, who seemed more bewitching every moment that we gazed on her, was the daughter of a 'squire in whose family our worthy landlady had been nurse. She had come, without knowing that any lodger was in the house, and was to stay a week. Oh! that week! the happiest of our life. We soon became intimate; our books lay fast locked up at the bottom of our trunk: we walked together, saw the sun set together in the calm ocean, and then walked happily and contentedly home in the twilight; and long before the week was at an end, we had vowed eternal vows, and sworn everlasting constancy. We had not, to be sure, discovered any great powers of mind in our enslaver; but how interesting is even ignorance, when it comes from such a beautiful and smiling mouth! We had already formed happy plans of moulding her unformed opinions, and directing and sharing all her studies. The little slips which were observable in her grammar, we attributed to want of care; and the accent, which was very powerful, was rendered musical to our ear, at the same time as dear to our heart, by the whiteness of the little arm that lay so quietly and lovingly within our own. And then, her taste in poetry was not the most delicate or refined; but she was so enthusiastically fond of it, that we imagined a little training would lead her to prefer many of Mr Moore's ballads, to the pathos of Giles Scroggins; and that in time, the "Shining River" might occupy a superior place, in her estimation, to a song from which she repeated, with tears in her eyes, But like the star what lighted And then, she seemed so fond of flowers, and knew so much about their treatment, that we fancied how lovely she must look while engaged in that fascinating study; and often, in our dreaming moods, did we mutter about "Fair Proserpine Within the vale of Enna gathering flowers, Herself the fairest flower." But why should we repeat what every one can imagine so well for himself? At last, the hour of parting came; and, week after week, her stay at the cottage had been prolonged, till our departure took place before hers. And on that day she looked, as all men's sweethearts do at leaving them, more touchingly beautiful than ever we had seen her before; and after we had torn ourself away, we looked back, and there we saw her standing in the same spot we had left her, a statue of misery and despair,-" like Niobe all tears." Astonishment occupied the minds of all our friends on our return to College. The change which took place on our feelings and conduct was indeed amazing; our mornings were devoted to gazing on a lock of our-she was rather unfortunate in a nameour Grizel's hair, and to lonely hours of musing in the meadow on all the adventures of our sojourn in Devonshire. No longer we stood listlessly in the quadrangle, joining the knots of idlers, of whom we used to be one of the chief; no longer had even Cas tles' Havannahs any charms for our lips; and our whole heart was wrapt up in the expectation of a letter. This we were not to receive for three long weeks; and by that time she was to have returned home, consulted her father on the subject of our attachment, and return us a definitive reply. We wrote in the meantimesuch a letter! We are assured it must have been written on a sheet of asbestos, or it must infallibly have taken fire. It began, "Lovely and most beautiful Grizel !" and ended, "Your adorer." At last the letter that was to conclude all our hopes was put into our hands. We had some men that morning to breakfast; we received it just as they were beginning the third pie. How heartily we prayed they would be off and leave us alone! -But no-on they kept swallowing pigeon after pigeon, and seemed to consider themselves as completely fixtures as the grate or the chimney-piece. We wished devoutly to see a bone sticking in the throat of our most in timate friend, and, by way of getting quit of them, had thoughts of setting fire to the room. At last, however, they departed. Immediately as the skirt of the last one's coat disappeared, we carefully locked and bolted our door, and, with hands trembling with joy, we took out the letter. Not very clean was its appearance, and not over correct or well-spelt was its address; and, above all, a yellow, dingy wafer filled up the place of the green wax we had expected, and the true lover's motto, "Though lost to sight, to memory dear," was supplied by the impression of a thimble. We opened it. "Horror and amazement! never was such penmanship beheld. The lines were complete exemplifications of the line of beauty, so far as their waving, and twisting, and twining was concerned; and the orthography it was past all human comprehension to understand. "My deerest deere, dear sur,"-this was the letter,-"i kim hom more nor a wic agon. butt i cuddunt right yu afore ass i av bin with muther an asnt seed father til 2 day. he sais as my fortin is 3 hundurd pouns, he sais mi as he racomminds me tu take mi hold lover Mister Tomas the gaurdnar, he sais as yu caunt mary no boddi, accause you must be a batseller three ears. if thiss be troo i am candied enuff to tell you ass i caunt wate so long my deerast deer. o yu ave brock mi art! wy did yu sai al ass yu sad iff yu cud unt mary nor none of the scolards at hocksfoot Kolidge. father sais as ther iss sum misstake praps yu did unt no ass mother is not marid 2 father butt is marrid to the catchmun and father is marad to a veri gud ladi ass gove me a gud edocasion. deerest deere it brakes my art all from yu for tu part. i rot them lines this marnin. mister tomas sais as i gov im mi prumass befor i cum to ave the apiness of see yu. butt i dant thinc i giv mor promass to him nor 2 manni uthers. mi deerest deer and troo luv cuppid! i feer our nutshell song is blitid and its ros kwencht in its blum. them was plesent ours when the carnashuns and tullups was all in blo, wasunt them mi deer luv. mister tomas sais ass he can mari me in a munth and father sais i hot tu take im. iff so be as yu caun't du it beefor i thine i shal take im ass father sais there is sum mistake. mi deerest deere mi art is brock butt I thinc i shall take im iff so bee as I dant ear frum yu. gud nite my troo luv i shall kip your lockat for a kipsic an yu ma kiss my luck off air for the sack of your brockan arted "GRIZEL." It is astonishing how the perusal of this cured us of our affection. At the first line we recollected that she had a tendency to squint, and long before we came to the conclusion, we remembered that her ancles were rather thick, and her feet by no means of diminutive size. Thus ended our love adventures at the University. Our he roine we have never heard of since, and we have resisted the most tempting offers from the loveliest of her sex; and in spite of sighing heiresses and compassionate old maids, we are still a bachelor; and a bachelor, in defiance of all their machinations, we are firm ly determined to remain. AN OXONIAN. ON THE NOTHINGNESS OF GOOD WORKS. Gratiano speaks an infinite deal of nothing, more than any man in all Venice." Merchant of Venice. MAIDEN, the sleepy richness of whose eyes, and the dowdy droopiness of whose bonnet, indicate serious contemplativeness, and evangelical propensities, startle not at the lightness of the Shakspearian text, which we have chosen for a theme, which, doubt less, thou doest consider as one of very serious import. Mar not the arches of thy brows with frowning, nor let dissatisfaction cloud for a moment the pensive calmness of thy heavenward countenance; neither let indignation curl that oscular lip of thine, which, in spite of piety, doth still look proud, for we mean not to sully the mirth moving pages of Maga with profaneness. In sooth, we are in private addicted to devotion ourself; and, had we to begin our youth again, we might aspire to win and wear the gown, and become an expounder of doctrine-but let that pass. In a word, most excellent reader, for we would not intrude too far upon thy clemency, nor weary thy very patience; we let thee to wit, that we treat not of the opus operatum of the ancient Doctors, neither of works of the flesh, and still less of the spirit, but of works-how shall we describe them en masse?—of works, in short, of supererogation. What, sir!-we hear the indignant reader exclaim, the colour mantling to his heated brow, are you a Papist? And do you come here to preach up the damnable doctrines of the lady in scarlet attire, the legs of whose broad-bottomed stool are in number as the hides upon the shield of Ajax, even the number seven?-Chafe not, old orthodoxy, we are stanch as thou art; 'twas but this morning we read to our assembled household a morning lecture upon the excellence of the Protestant religion, as contrasted with Popery; and but this evening, that we quaffed our claret with "one cheer more" for Protestant ascendency in Church and State. And now, provoked, yet charmed and friendly reader, having exhausted thy patience in guarding thee against what we do not intend, we shall proceed to gratify thy eager appetency to fathom what our meaning is. By the word, "works," then, in the follow ing part of this brief philosophical discourse, we would be understood to signify, those premeditated effusions of brain, or brass, developed in printing type, upon paper of various dimensions, from four to forty-eight, and regularly ycleped books. Insomuch, that so far from discussing a knotty point of polemical divinity, with that profoundness, pith, and accuracy, which unpremeditated effusions on theological subjects never fail to exhibit, we shall content ourselves, pro hac vice, with dilating upon that nothingness of good works, which may be rendered by the alias of the worthlessness of good books. Our serious readers are aware, that the wisest of all men has said, that "of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh;" and indeed we may venture to say, that the three wisest of men, namely, Solomon, aforesaid, Shakspeare, and our honoured chief, Christopher North, all coincide in this opinion. In order to enable a man to be great and wise-to fit him to guide a state, or to lead armies, we see no earthly use in the study of more books than three, and these, we need scarcely add, are-The Bible, Shakspeare, Maga. The first will furnish him with religion, ethics, and ancient history, the other two with a knowledge of man, and all that is done amongst mankind. Nothing can escape him-all that is great, and all that is absurd in his species-all that is terrible, or ludicrous, or excellent, or atrocious, or pathetic, or fantastical, may be found in these books. Of course, we suppose our student to know thoroughly the contents of his small, yet comprehensive library, and it is in the possibility of this that his advantage lies; for truly of the mass of "good works" which it is preposterously considered by the schoolmen and the book makers, that we should read, we can pos sibly know but little. Happily that little is in many cases quite enough, but it were better that we attempted less, and thoroughly learned more. We are, in these times, too much of literary gluttons, and we do not taste |