Job. A pox on her for a fanatical jade! she has almost distracted the good knight: But she's now abroad, feasting with her relations, and will scarce come home to-night; and we are to have much drink, a fiddle, and merry gambols.

Nell. O dear husband! let me go with you; we'll be as merry as the night's long!

Lucy. I am sure I always feel her in my bones: if her complexion don't please her, or she looks yellow in a morning, I am sure to look black and blue for it before night.

Cook. Pox on her! I dare not come within her reach. I have some six broken heads already. A lady, quotha! a she-bear is a civiler animal. Foot. Heaven help my poor master ! this de

Job. Why, how now, you bold baggage! would you be carried to a company of smooth-vilish termagant scolding woman will be the faced, eating, drinking, lazy serving-men? no, no, you jade, I'll not be a cuckold.

Nell. I'm sure they would make me welcome; you promised I should see the house, and the family has not been here before, since you marred and brought me home.

Job. Why, thou most audacious strumpet, dar'st thou dispute with me, thy lord and master? Get in and spin, or else my strap shall wind about thy ribs most confoundedly.

AIR.-The Twitcher.

He that has the best wife,
She's the plague of his life;

But for her that will scold and will quarrel,
Let him cut her off short

Of her meat and her sport,

death of him; I never saw a man so altered all the days of my life.

Cook. There's a perpetual motion in that tongue of hers, and a damned shrill pipe, enough to break the drum of a man's ear.

Enter blind Fiddler, JOBSON, and neighbours.

But. Welcome, welcome all; this is our wish! Honest old acquaintance, goodman Jobson!

how dost thou ?

Job. By my troth, I am always sharp set towards punch, and am now come with the firm resolution, though but a poor cobler, to be as richly drunk as a lord. I am a true English heart, and look upon drunkenness as the best part of the liberty of the subject.

But. Come, Jobson, we'll bring out our bowl

And ten times a day hoop her barrel, brave boys! of punch in solemn procession; and then for a

Butler, Cook, Footman, Coachman, Lucy,
LETTICE, &C.

But. I would the blind fiddler and our dancg neighbours were here, that we might rejoice little, while our termagant lady is abroad; I have made a most sovereign bowl of punch.

Lucy. We had need rejoice sometimes, for our devilish new lady will never suffer it in her bearing.

But. I will maintain, there is more mirth in a galley, than in our family: Our master, indeed, is the worthiest gentleman-nothing but sweetbess and liberality.

Foot. But here's a house turned topsy-turvy, from heaven to bell, since she came hither. Lucy. His former lady was all virtue and mildness.

But. Ay, rest her soul, she was so; but this inspired with a legion of devils, who make her ay about ber like a fury.

song to crown our happiness.

[They all go out, and return with a bowl of punch.

AIR.-Charles of Sweden.

Come jolly Bacchus, god of wine,
Crown this night with pleasure;
Let none at cares of life repine,

To destroy our pleasure:
Fill up the mighty sparkling bowl,
That every true and loyal soul
May drink and sing without controul,
To support our pleasure.

Thus, mighty Bacchus, shalt thou be,
Guardian of our pleasure;
That, under thy protection, we
May enjoy new pleasure.
And as the hours glide away,
We'll, in thy name, invoke their stay,
And sing thy praises, that we may
Live and die with pleasure.

But. The king and the royal family, in a brimmer !—

AIR.

Here's a good health to the king,
And send him a prosperous reign;
O'er hills and high mountains,
We'll drink dry the fountains,
Until the sun rises again, brave boys!
Until the sun rises again.
Then, here's to thee, my boy boon,
And here's to thee, my boy boon;

As we've tarried all day
For to drink down the sun,

So we'll tarry and drink down the moon, brave boys!

So we'll tarry and drink down the moon.

All. Huzza!

Enter SIR JOHN and LADY. Lady. O Heaven and earth! What's here within my doors? Is hell broke loose? What troops of fiends are here? Sirrah, you impudent rascal, speak?

Sir John. For shame, my dear!As this is a time of mirth and jollity, it has always been the custom of my house, to give my servants liberty in this season, and to treat my country neighbours, that with innocent sports they may divert themselves.

Lady. I say, meddle with your own affairs; I will govern my own house, without your putting in an oar. Shall I ask leave to correct my own servants?

Sir John. I thought, madam, this had been my house, and these my tenants and servants. Lady. Did I bring a fortune to be thus abused, and snubbed before people? Do you call my authority iu question, ungrateful man? Look you to your dogs and horses abroad, but it shall be my province to govern here; nor will I be controuled by e'er a hunting, hawking knight in Christendom.

AIR.

Sir John. Ye gods! you gave to me a wife,
Out of your grace and favour,
To be the comfort of my life,

And I was glad to have her:
But if your Providence Divine,
For greater bliss design her,
To obey your wills at any time
I am ready to resign her.

This it is to be married to a continual tempest.
Strife and noise, canting and hypocrisy, are eter-
nally afloat.-Tis impossible to bear it long.

Lady. Ye filthy scoundrels, and odious jades! I'll teach you to junket thus, and steal my provisions; I shall be devoured at this rate.

But. I thought, madam, we might be merry once upon a holiday.

Job. Nounz! what a pox, what a devil ails you?

Lady. O profane wretch! wicked varlet ! Sir John. For shame! your behaviour is monstrous!

Lady. Was ever poor lady so miserable in a brutish husband as I am? I, that am so pious, and so religious a woman!

Job. [Sings.] He that has the best wife,
She's the plague of his life,
But for her that will scold and will quarrel-
[Erit Jos.
Lady. O rogue, scoundrel, villain!
Sir John. Remember modesty.
Lady. I'll rout you all with a vengeance; I'll
spoil your squeaking treble.

[Beats the fiddle about the blind man's head. Fid. O murder, murder! I am a dark man; which way shall I get hence? Oh Heaven! she has broke my fiddle, and undone me and my wife and children.

Sir John. Here, poor fellow, take your staff and be gone! There's money to buy you two such; that's your way. [Exit Fiddler.

Lady. Methinks you are very liberal, sir; must my estate maintain you in your profuseness? Sir John. Go up to your closet, pray, and compose your mind.

Lady. O wicked man! to bid me pray!

Sir John. A man can't be completely curst, I see, without inarriage; but since there is such a thing as separate maintenance, she shall tomorrow enjoy the benefit of it.

AIR.-Of all comforts I miscarried.

Of the states in life so various,
Marriage, sure, is most precarious ;
'Tis a maze so strangely winding,
Still we are new mazes finding;
'Tis an action so severe,

That nought but death can set us clear.
Happy's the man, from wedlock free,
Who knows to prize his liberty:

Were man wary

How they marry,

Lady. Holiday, you popish cur! Is one day more holy than another? and if it be, you'll be sure to get drunk upon it, you rogue! [Beats him.] You minx, you impudent flirt, are you jig-there-see who knocks. ging it after an abominable fiddle? all dancing is whorish, hussy! [Lugs her by the ears. Lucy. O lud! she has pulled off both my ears. Sir John. Pray, madam, consider your sex and quality! I blush for your behaviour.

We should not be by half so full of misery. [Knocking at the door.] Here, where are my servants? Must they be frighted from me?-Within

Lady. Consider your incapacity; you shall not instruct me. Who are you, thus muffled? you buzzard! [She beats them all; JOBSON steals by.

Job. I am an honest, plain, psalm-singing cobbler, madam; if your ladyship would but go to church, you might hear me above all the rest there.

Lady. Within there!-Where are my sluts? Ye drabs, ye queans--Lights there!

Enter Servants sneaking, with candles. But. Sir, it is a doctor that lives ten niles off; he practises physic, and is an astrologer: your worship knows him very well; he is a cunning man, makes almanacks, and can help people to their goods again.

Enter Doctor.

Doc. Sir, I humbly beg your honour's pardon for this unseasonable intrusion; but I am be [Strikes him.nighted, and 'tis so dark that I can't possibly

Lady. I'll try thy voice here first, villain!

Nell. Pray, sir, mend your draught, if you please; you are very welcome, sir.

Doc. Thank you heartily, good woman, and to requite your civility, I'll tell you your fortune. Nell. O, pray do, sir; I never had my fortune told me in my life.

Doc. Let me behold the lines in your face. Nell. I'm afraid, sir, 'tis none of the cleanest; I have been about dirty work all this day. Doc. Come, come, 'tis a good face; be not ashamed of it; you shall shew it in greater places suddenly.

Nell. O dear sir, I shall be mightily ashamed! I want dacity when I come before great folks. Doc. You must be confident, and fear nothing; there is much happiness attends you.

Nell. Oh me! this is a rare man! Heaven be thanked!

Doc. To-morrow, before sunrise, you shall be the happiest woman in this country.

Nell. How! by to-morrow? alack-a-day! sir, how can that be?

Doc. No more shall you be troubled with a surly husband, that rails at, and straps you.