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SCENE I.--A palace yard,
Dood. Oh, 'tis a day
Of jubilee, cajollery; Enter Doodle on one side of the stage, and
A day we never saw before ; NOODLE on the other; ofter a long obeisance, A day of fun and drollery, they embrace.
Nood. That you may say,
Their majesties may boast of it ;
And since it never can come more, Dood. Sure such a day,
'Tis fit ihey make the most of it. So renowned, so victorious
Dood. Oh, 'tis a day, 8c.
Nood. That you may say, 8c.
Dood. Sure such a day, &c.
Nood. Courtiers so gay, 8c.
Dood. Yes, Noodle, yes;-to-day the mighty
Thumb While both she and Huncamunca tipple, talking Returns triumphant.–Captive giants swarm tawdry ;
Like bees beliind his car.
(Flourish of Trumpets. So tifted out, so glorious,
Nood. These trumpets speak the king at le Glitters like a beau in a new birth-day embroidery. I vee, I go.
Dood. And I also—to offer my petition. King. Thy modesty's a flambeau to thy merit; Nood. Doodle, do.
(Exit. It shines itself, and shews thy merit too.
O Tommy, Tommy Thumb! what to thy prowess SCENE II.-Inside of the Palace.
do we owe!
Ask some reward-great as we can bestow. The King and Queen seated on a Throne.—Lord Tom. I ask not kingdoms, I can conquer
GRIZZLE, Courtiers and Attendants.-DOODLE those! and Noodle apart.
I ask not money,-money I've enough: king. Let no face but a face of joy be seen! If this be called a debt, take my receipt in full : The man who this day frowns, shall lose his I ask but this, to sun inyself in Huncamunca's bead,
eyes. That he inay have no face to frown withal- King. [Aside.] Prodigious bold request ! Smile Dollallolla !
[Kisses her. Queen. Be still
soul! Dood. [Keeling) Dread liege,
King. [After a pause.] It is resolved! This petition
The princess is thy own! To THUMB. king. [Dashes it away.] Petition me no peti- Tom. O happy Tommy! super happy Thumb; Lions, sir, to-day;
Whisper, ye winds, that Huncamunca's inine ! To-day it is our pleasure-to be drunk,
The bloody bus'ness of grim war is o’er, And this our queen shall be as drunk as we. And beauty, heavenly beauty, crowns my toils. Queen. Is't so? why then perdition catch the failers!
As when the chimney-sweeper
Has all the live long day,
Through darksome paths a creeper,
Pursued his sooty way :
At night, to wash with water
His hands and face he flies ;
With his Brickdusta lies.
[Exit.-Flourish of trumpets. No drop of brandy, gin, or rum,
King: (Looking fondly at Glomdalca.] I Should pass these royal lips.
feel a sudden pain across my breast; But sir, 8c.
Aside. Chorus.-Rum ti iddity, row, row, row,
Nor know I whether it proceeds from love
geous queen of hearts, King. Though rack, in punch, ten shillings Sure thou wert form’d by all the gods in council; were a quart,
Who, having made a lucky hit, beyond their And rum and brandy be but half a crown,
journeywork, Rather than quarrel, thou shalt have thy fill. Cry'd out—“ This is a woman !" (Flourish of drums and trumpels.
Glum. Then were the gods confoundedly misNood. These martial sounds, my liege, an
taken. nounce the general.
We are a giantess—I tell thee, Arthur, King. Haste we to meet, and meetly to re- We yesterday were both a queen and wife; ceive him. [Rises from the throne. One hundred thousand giants own'd our sway; [Martial music.]
Twenty whereof were wedded to ourself. Enter Tom Thumb, Attendants, and Glum
Queen. Oh blest prerogative of giantism !
(Aside. DALCA in chains.
King. Oh! vast queen !-Think our court Welcome, thrice welcome, mighty Thomas Thumb !
Call for whate'er thou likest-there's nought to Thou tiny bero-pigmy giant queller!
pay, What gratitude can thank away the debt Nor art thou captive, but thy captive we. Thy valour puts upon us.
[Takes off her chain. [Takes him up and embraces him.
Queen. [Aside.] Ha! Arthur faithless ! Queen. Oh! ye gods !
[Aside. This gag my rival, too, in dear Tom Thumb! Ton. When I'm not thank'd at all, I'm thank'd Revenge !-but I'll dissemble enough
Madam, believe that with a woman's eye I've donc my duty, and I've done no more. I view your losstake comfort-for, to
[Bows. Qucen. Was ever such a godlike creature Our grenadiers shall be called out, then choose seen!
As many husbands as you think you'll want.
Glum. Madam, I rest your much obliged and Queen. How! hast thou seen no giants? Are very humble servant.
there not Queen. Though greater yet Tom's boasted Now in our yard ten thousand proper giants ?
Griz. Madam, shall I tell you what I'm going He shall not bave my daughter, that is pos. to say? I do not positively know, but, as near
(Advancing to the King. as I can guess, I cannot tell; though I firmly do King. Ha! say'st thou?
believe there is not one. Queen. Yes, I say he shan't.
Queen. Out from my sight, base Pickthank, King. How, shan't !
hie, begone! Now by our royal self, we swear-I'll be damnd By all my stars, thou enviest Tom Thumb. but he shall.
Griz. Yes, yes, I go; but, madam, know,
(Since your majesty's so pert) AIR.-Queen.
That a flood of Tommy's blood,
To allay this storm shall spirt. Then tremble all, who weddings ever made,
(Ereunt, And tremble more who did this match persuade; For, like a worried cat, I'll spit, I'll squall,
SCENEI IV.-An Anti-chamber. I'll scratch, I'll tear the eyes out of ye all.
The King on
Couch. [The King throws his hat at the Queen.]
-Methought [Ereunt Queen and Ludies.
I heard a voice say,“ Sleep no more !" Dood. Her majesty, the queen, is in a passion. Glumdalca exiles sleep—and therefore, Arthur King. She may be damn'd. Who cares? We Can sleep no more.
were indeed A pretty king of clouts, were we to truckle
The Ghost of Garrer TAUMB rises, with a blue
Lantern on a long staff.
Ghost. Ohi, Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!
Suon shalt thou sleep enough.
King. Ah! what art thou?
Ghost. The ghost of Gaffer Thumb.
King. A ghost !-stand off!
I'll have thee laid in the Red Sea.
Ghost, Oh, Arthur! take heed.
My thread is spun-list, list, oh, list!
Pale death is prowling,
Dire omens scowling, SCENE III.—Changes to the out side of the
Doom thee to slaughter, palace.
Thee, thy wife, and daughter,
Furies are growling,
With horrid grouns :
What need I tell you on?
Or by a red cua, Alas! what art thou, honour?
Tom Thumb devoured ? A Monmouth Street laced coat, gracing to-day Hark! the cock crowing, (Cock crows. My back; to-morrow glittering on another's—
I must be going, To arms ! to arms!
I can no more. (Vanishes. Enter Queen, in a rage.
King. No more! and why no more, or why Queen. Teach me to scold, O Grizzle!
so much? Griz. Scold, would my queen ?-say, ah! Better quite ignorant, than half instructed. wherefore !
By Jove, this bo-peep ghost makes game of us, Queen. Wherefore !
Therefore, Fate, keep your secret to yourself. Faggots and fire-my daughter to Tom Thumb! Griz I'll mince the atom into countless
Such a fine king as I don't fear your threats of a Queen. Oh! no; prevent the match, but burt rush, not him
Do shew your sweet phiz again, and I'll quickly Him!--thou !-thou kill the man
call up a blush, Who kill'd the giants?
For I am up, up, up, Griz. Giants !-why, madam, 'tis all flum
But you are down, down, down, mery:
Do pop up your nob again, He made the giants first, and then he kill'd-them.
And egad I'll cruck your crown:
Who cares for you, Mr. Ghost ? or all that you
Enter Tom THUMB. can do; I laugh at your stupid threats, and your cock-a- Tam. Where is my Huncamunca? where's doodle-do;
my princess ?
Where those bright eyes, the card-matches of
Hunc. Put out the light, nor waste thy little
As well Sir Solomon miglit putout bis rushlight, SCENE V.-HUNCAMUNCA's Dressing Room.
Hunc. I am to Lord Grizzle pronsised.
Tom. Promised! HUNCANUNCA at her toilette, FRIZALETTA waiting.
Hunc. Too sure, 'tis enter'd in fate's journal.
Tom. Enter'd ! Hunc. Give me some music,—see that it be Zounds! I'll tear out the leaf—I'll blot the page sad.
[Band plays a strain. -I'll burn the book. Oh, Tommy Thumb! why art thou Tommy I tell thee, princess, had I been thy helpmate, Thumb ?
We soon had peopled this whole realm with Why had not mighty Bantam been thy father? Thumbs. Why not the king of Brentford, old or new? Hunc. O fie ! I shudder at the gross idea! Priz. Madam, Lord Grizzle.
Tom. Then go we to the king—let him decide, Whether shall be Grizzle's you
my Enter LORD GRIZZLE.
[Going out hand-in-hand, are met by Gris. [Kneeling.) Oh, Huncamunca! Hun
GLUMDALCA. camunca, oh!
Glum. Stop, brandy-nose ! hopest thou, the Hunc. This to my rank,- bold man!
wight, Gris. Ah, beauteous princess !
Who once hath worn my easy chains, will toil Love levels rank,-lords down to cellar bears,
in thine ? And bids the brawny porter walk up stairs.- Hunc. Easy, no doubt, by twenty husbands Noaght is for love too high, nor ought too low
Tom. In the balcony which o'erhangs the stage, Oh, Hancamunca! Huncamunca, oh!
I've seen one wench, two 'prentices engage: Hunc. Mylord, in vain, a-suitoring you come, This half-a-crown doth in his fingers hold, For I'm engaged this instant to Tom Thumb. That just lets peep a little bit of gold. Griz. Play not the fool! that less than baby Miss the half guinea wisely doth purloin, shun,
And scorns the bigger, and the baser coin. Or you will near be brought to bed of one. Hun. Am I thus fobb'd ?-then I my words
TRIO. recall Gris. Shall I to Doctor's Common?
Glum. Oh! the viren pigmy brat, Hunc. Do so, pray
Of inches scarce half six ; I now am in the mood, and cannot stay.
To slight me for a chit like that,
Ah! Mr. Tom, are these your tricks ? AIR.-GRIZZLE.
Hunc. Oh! the coarse salacious trull,
Who giant paramours twice ten In hurry post for a licence,
To bed can pull, In hurry ding dong I come buck ;
With hugs can lull, For that you shan't need bid me twice hence,
Yet still would gull
Tom. Little though I be,
I scorn the sturdy strum;
Nor ever she,
My dear, from thee
Shall debauch thy own Tom Thumb.
Glum. Oh the viren, &c. Hunc. Oh!
Hunc. Oh the coarse, &c. Griz. Ah!
Tom. Little though I be, fc. [Ereunt.
SCENE I.-- The Court of the Palace. Come, Dollallolla : Huncamunca, come;
Within we'll wait in whole skins for Tom Thumb. Enter NOODLE,
[Ereunt. Nood. Sure Nature means to unhinge the solid globe!
SCENE III.-A Plain. Chaos is come again—all's topsy-turvy.
Enter Lord GRIZZLE, Noodle, and Rebels. AIR.
Griz. Thus far with victory our arms are King Arthur in love ancle deep-speed the plough, crown'd; Glumdalca will soon be his punk-a;
For, though we have not fought, yet have we The queen Dollullolla's as drunk as a sow,
found In bed with Tom Thumb, Huncamunca.
No enemy to fight withal.
[Drums and Trumpets.]
Tom, Art thou the man, whom men famed Nood. If it be not, may I be damn'd myself.
Grizzle call ?
Erit. Griz. Art thou the much more fam'd Tom Griz. Then get out, patience! oh, I'm wbirl- Thumb the small ? wind all;
Tom. The same. Havock, let loose the dogs of war, balloo ! Griz. The same.
[Exit. Tom. His prowess now each prove.
Griz. For liberty I stand. SCENE II.-A Chamber in the Palace. Tom. And I for love.
[A battle between the two armies.—They Enter Queen.
fight off ] Queen. Ah! wherefore from his Dollallolla's
Enter GlumdalCA, and meets Grizzle, while Doth Arthur steal? Why all alone,
fighting with THUMB. And in the dark, leave her, whose feeble nerves Glum. Turn, coward, turn ! nor from a woHe knows are harrow'd up with fears of spirits ? man fly!
Gris. Thou art unworthy of my arm.
Glum. Am I?
[Thrusts at, but misses kim. liad glued thy lovely eyes; but, ah! we find Griz. Rampant queen of sluts! There is no power in drams to quiet wives. Now have at thine.
[Strikes. Glum. [Falling.] You've run me through the Enter NOODLE.
guts. Nood. Long life to both your majesties,-if Griz. Then there's an end of one. [Going. life
[Is met by Tom Thumb, who runs him through.] Be worth a fig--Lord Grizzle, at the head
Tom, An end of two, Of a rebellious rout, invests the palace;
Thou hast it.
[Erit. He swears-unless the princess straight Be yielded up with Tom Thumb's pate,
Griz. Oj, Tom Thumb! [Falls.) thy soul be
shrew! About your ears he will beat down the gate.
I die-Ambition ! the fates have made their tour, King. The devil he will!--but see the princess!
And the black cart is waiting at the door.
Åly cruel creditor, grim Death;
Who puts to life's brisk trade a stop gods, Yet Thumb alone is equal to more odds.
And will be paid with my last breath.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Hunc. About an hour and a balf ago
[Dies. Tom sallied forth to meet the foe,
Enter Tom THUMB and Attendants.
Tom. Bear of the carcasses; lop off his knob,