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ACT II.

SCENE I.-DRUGGET's Country House. Drug. Hey, how !-a vile woman what has

she done?-I hope she is not capableEnter Dimity.

Sir Cha. I shall enter into no detail, Mr. Druz. Dim. Ha, ha, ha! Oh, Heavens! I shall ex-get; the time and circumstances wont allow it pire in a fit of laughing !-this is the modish at present, But depend upon it, I have done couple, that were so happy-such a quarrel as with her-a low, nnpolished, uneducated, false, they have had—the whole house is in an uproar! imposing- -See if the horses are put-to! -ha, ha! a rare proof of the happiness they enjoy Drug. Mercy on me! in my old days to bear in high life! I shall never hear people of fashion this! mentioned again, but I shall be ready to die in a fit of laughter-ho, ho, ho ! this is Tunee

Enter MRS, DRUGGET. WEEKS AFTER MARRIAGE, I think!

Mrs. Drug. Deliver me! I am all over in such Enter DRUGGET.

a tremble-Sir Charles, I shall break my heart, Drug. Hey! how! what's the matter, Dimity? if there's any thing amiss ! What am I called down stairs for?

Sir Cha. Madam, I am very sorry, for your Dim. Why, there's two people of fashion- sake; but there is po possibility of living with

[Stiftes a laugh. her. Drug. Why, you saucy minx ! Explain Mrs. Drug. My poor, dear girl! what can she this moment.

have done! Dim. The fond couple have been together by Sir Cha. What all her sex can do! the very the ears this half hour—are you satisfied now?" spirit of them all.

Drug. Ay!-what! have they quarelled ? — Drug. Ay, ay, ay! she's bringing foul dis what was it about?

grace upon us--This coines of her marrying a Dim. Something above my comprehension, and man of fashion ! your's too, I believe - People in high life under- Sir Cha. Fashion, sir :-that should have instand their own forms best-And here comes one structed her better-she might have been sensithat can unriddle the whole affair. [Exit Dim. ble of her happiness. Whatever you may think

of the fortune you gave her, my rank cominands Enter Sir CHARLES.

L'espect--claims obedience, attention, truth, and Sir Cha. (To the people within.] I say, let the love, from one raised in the world, as she bas horses be put to this moment-So, Mr. Drugget. been by au alliance with me.

Drug. Sir Charles, here's a terrible bustle-I Drug:fAnd let me tell you, however you may did not expect this—what can be the matter? estimate your quality, my daughter is dear to

Sir Cha. I have been used by your daughter me. in so base, so contemptuous a manner, that I am Sir Cha. And, sir, my character is dear to determined not to stay in this house to-night.

Drug. This is a thunder-bolt to me! after see- Drug. Yet, you must give me leave to tell ing how elegantly and fashionably you lived to- yougether, to find now all sunshine vanished-Do, Sir Cha. I won't hear a word ! Sir Charles, let me heal this breach, if possible! Drug. Not in behalf of niy own daughter?

Sir Cha. Sir, 'tis impossible—I'll not live with Sir Cha. Nothing can e.xcuse ber-'tis to do her a day longer.

purpose--she has married above her; and if that Drug. Nay, nay, don't be over hasty, let me circumstance makes the lady Forget herself

, sbe intreat you-go to bed, and sleep upon it—in the shall at least see, that I can and will support morning, when you're cool

my own dignity. Sir Cha. Ob, sir, I am very cool I assure you, Drug. But, sir, I have a right to ask ha, ha!-it is not in her power, sir, to-a-a- Mrs. Drug. Patience, my dear; be a bitte to disturb the serenity of my temper-Don't ima- calm. gine that I'm in a passion—I'm not so easily ruf- Drug. Mrs. Drugget, do you have patience; filed as you may inagine-But, quietly and deli- I must and will enquire. Terately, I can repay the injuries done me by a Mrs. Drug. Don't be so hasty, my love; hare false", ungrateful, deceitful wife.

some respect for Sir Charles's rank; don't be vivDin'g. The injuries done you by a false, un- lent with a man of his fashion. grateful wife ! not my daughter, I hope Drug. Hold your tougue, woman, I say – Sir Cha: Her character is now fully known to you're not a person of fashion, at least My -ste',' a vile woman! that's all I have to daughter was ever a good girl.

Sir Cha. I have fonnd her out.

me!

me

Bay, sir,

Drug. Oh then it is all over-and it does not Wood. Not yet-he makes a bawling yonder signity arguing about it.

for his horses—I'll step and call him to you. Mrs. Drug. That ever I should live to see

[Exit Wood. this hour ! how the unfortunate girl could take Drug. I am out of all patience-I am out of such wickedness in her head, I can't imagine my senses-I must see him once more—Mr. I'll go and speak to the unhappy creature this Lovelace, neither you nor any person of fashion moinent.

[Erit Mrs. Drug. shall ruin another daughter of iniue. Sir Cka. She stands detected now-detected

(Exit Drug in her truest colours !

Love. Droll this !-damned droll; and every Drug. Well, grievous as it may be, let me syllable of it Arabic to me—the queer old putt hear the circumstance of this unhappy business. is as whimsical in his notions of life as of garden

Sir Cha. Mr. Drugget,'I have not leisure now; ing. If this be the case-I'll brush, and leave but her behaviour has been so exasperating, that him to bis exotics.

[Exit Love. I shall make the best of my way to town-My mind is fixed-She sees me no more ; and so,

Enter Lady Racket, Mrs DRUGGET, and

Dimity. your servant, sir.

[L.xit Sir Cha.
Drug. What a calamity has here befallen us ! Lady Rac. A cruel, barbarous man! to quar-
a good girl, and so well disposed, till the evil rel in this unaccountable manner; to alarm the
communication of bigh life, and fashionable whole house, and expose me and himself too!
vices turned her to folly !

Mrs. Drug. Oh! child, I never thought it
Enter LoVELACE.

would have come to this—your shame won't end

here! it will be all over St. James's parish before Love. Joy, joy! Mr. Drugget, I give you joy! to-morrow morning!

Drug. Don't insult me, sir! I desire you Ludy Rac. Well, if it must be so, there's one won't.

comfort, the story will tell more to bis disgrace Lone. Insult you, sir! is there any thing in- than mine. sulting, my dear sir, if I take the liberty to con- Dim. As I'm a sinner, and so it will, madam. gratulate you on

He deserves what he has met with, I think. Drug. There! there !--the manners of high Mrs. Drug. Dimity, don't you encourage her life for you!—be thinks there's nothing in all this - you shock me lo hear you speak so- -I did not -the ill behaviour of a wife he thinks an orna- think you had been so hardened. ment to her character-Mr. Lovelace, you shall Ludy Rac. Hardened do you call it? I have bare no daughter of mine.

lived in the world to very little purpose, if such Love. My dear sir, never bear malice-I have trifles as these are to disturb my rest. reconsidered the thing; and curse catch me, if Mrs. Drug. You wicked girl!-Do you call it I don't think your notion of the Guildhall giants, | a trifle, to be guilty of falsehood to your husand the court of aldermen in hornbeam

band's bed! Drug. Well, well, well! there may be people Lady Rac. How! at the court end of the town in hornbeam, too.

(Turns short, and stares at her. Love. Yes, faith, so there may—and I believe Dim. That! that's a mere trifle, indeed !-I I could recommend you to a tolerable collection have been in as good places as any body, and -however, with your daughter I am ready to not a creature minds it

now,

I'm sure.

Mrs. Drug. My Lady Racket, my Lady RacDrug. But I am not ready-I'll not venture kel, I never could think to see you come to this my girl with you--no more daughters of mine deplorable shame! shall have their minds depraved by polite vices. Lady Rac. Surely the base man has not been

capablc of laying any thing of that sort to my Enter WOODLEY.

charge. [Aside.) At this is unaccountable to Mr. Woodley—you shall have Nancy to your me--la, ha !—'uis ridiculous beyond measure ! wife, as I promised you-take her io-morrow Dim. That's right, madam-laugh at it-you Diorning.

served him right. Woud. Sir, I have not words to express- Mrs. Drug. Charlotte ! Charlotte ! I'ın asto

Lore. What the devil is the matter with the nished at your wickedness ! old haberdasher now?

Lady Rac. Well, I protest and vow I don't
Drug. And hark ye, Mr. Woodley ?--I'll make comprehend all this. Has Sir Charles accused
you a present for your garden, of a coronation me of any impropriety in my conduct?
dinner in greens, with the champion riding on Mrs. Drug. Oh! too troe, he has--he has found
horseback, and the sword will be full growa be- you out; and you have behaved basely he says.
fore April next.

Lady Rac. Madam!
Wood. I shall receive it, sir, as your favour.

Mrs. Drug. You have fallen into frailty, like
Drug. Ay, ay! I see my error in wanting an many others of your sex, he says; and he is re-
alliance with great folks I had rather have you, solved to come to a separation directly.
Mr. Woodley, for my son-in-law, than any court- Lady Rac, Why, then, if he is so base a wretch

y fop of them all. Is this man gone : -Is Sir as to dishonour vie in that manner, his heart still
Charles goue ?

ache before I live with him again.

venture

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Dim. Ilold to that, madam, and let his head Sir Cha. No, sit; I never dreamt of such a acle into the bargain.

thing. Mrs. Drug. Your poor father heard it as well Drug. Why, then, if she's innoceat, let me tell as me.

you, you're a scandalous person. Laly Rac. Then let your doors be opened for Mrs. Drug. Pr’ythee, my dear, hin this very moment-let him return to London Drug. Be quiet. Though he is a man of qna- if he does not, I'll lock inyself

up, and the false litv, I will tell him of it did I not fine for sheone shan't approach me, though he beg on his riff? Yes, you are a scandalous person, to de knees at my very foor—a base, injurious man! fame an honest man's daughter.

Erit. Sir Cha. What have you taken into your head Mrs. Drug. Dimity, do let us follow, and hear now? what she has to say for herself. [Erit. Drug. You charged her with falsehood to your

Dim. She has excuse enough, I warrant her. bed. What a noise is here, indeed! I have lived in Sir Cha. No-never-nerer. polite families, where there was no such bostle Druy. But I say you did-you called yourself made about nothing.

[Erit. a cuckold-vid not he, wife? Enter Sir CHABLES and DRUGGET.

Mrs. Drug. Yes lovey ; I'm witness.

Sir Cha. Absurd! I said no such thing. Sir Cha. Tis in vain, sir; my resolution is

Drug. But I aver you did. taken.

Mrs. Drug. You did, indeed, sir. Drug. Well; but, consider I am her father

Sir Cha. But I tell you no, positively 10. indulge me only, till we hear what the girl has to say in her defence.

Mrs. Drug. And I say, yes, positively yes. Sir Cha. She can have nothing to say-n0

Sir Cha.'-death, this is all madness. excuse can palliate such behaviour.

Drug. You said, that she followed the ways Drug: Don't be too positive: there may be of most of her sex. some mistake.

Sir Cha. I said so, and what then? Sir Cha. No mistake-did I not see her, hear himself a cuckold, and without rhyme or reason

Drug. There he owns it : owns that he called her myself?

Drug. Lackaday! then I am an unfortunate into the bargain. map!

Sir Cha. I cerer owned any such thing. Sir Cha. She will be unfortunate, too-with all

Drug. You owned it even now-now-nowmy heart-she may thank herself—she might have been happy, had she been so disposed.

Mrs. Drug. This very moment. Drug. Why, truly, I think she might.

Sir Cha. No, po ; I tell yoo, no.

Drug. This instant-Prove it: make your

words good : shew me your horns, and if you Enter Mrs. DRUGGET.

can't, it is worse than suicide to call yourself a Mrs. Drug. I wish you'd moderate your anger cuckold, without proof. a little, and let us talk over this affair with temper--my daughter denies every tittle of your

Enter Dimity, in a fit of laughing. charge.

Dim. What do you think it was all about Sir Cha. Depies it! denies it!

Ha! ha! the whole secret is come out, ha! ha! Mrs. Drug. She does, indeed.

It was all about a game of cards-Ho! ho! ho! Sir Cha. And that aggravates her fault. Drug. A game of cards !

Mrs. Druy. She vows you never found her Dim. ( Laughing.) It was all about a club and out in any tbing that was wrony.

a diamond.

[Runs out laughing Sir Cha. So ! she does not allow it to be wrong, Drug. And was that all, Sir Charles? then ?- Madam, I tell you again, I know her Sir Cha. And enough tuo, sir. thoroughly; I say, I have found her out; and I Druy. And was that what you found her out an now acquainted with her character. in?

Mrs, Drug. Then you are in opposite stories Sir Cha. I can't bear to be contradicted, ---she swears, my dear Mr. Drogget, the poor when I am clear that I am in the right. girl swears she never was guilty of the smallest Drug. I never heard of such a heap of noninfidelity to ber busband in her born days. sepse in all my life. Woodley shall marry Nancy.

Sir Chu. And what then ?-what if she does Mrs. Drug. Don't be in a hurry, my love; say so?

this will all be made up. Mrs. Drug. And if she says truly, it is hard Drug. Why does he not go and beg her par her character should be blown upon without just don, then? cause.

Sir Cha. I beg her pardon ! I won't debase sir Cha. And is she, therefore, to behave ill myself to any of you. 'I shan't forgive her, you in other respects? I never charged her with in- may rest assured. fidelity to me, madani--there, I allow her inno- Drug. Now there, there's a pretty fellow for cent.

Drug. And did you not charge her, then ? Alrs. Drug. I'll step and prevail on my Lady

now

[Erit

.

you !

Racket to speak to him : all this will be set Mrs Drug. She does; she is willing to own it. right.

[ Erit. Sir Cha. Then I'll stop and speak to her. I Drug. A ridiculous fop! I ain glad it is no never was clearer in any thing in my life. [Erit. worse, however.-He must go and talk scandal Mrs. Drug. Lord love 'em, they'll make it up of himself, as if the town did not abound with now, and then they'll be as happy as ever. people ready enough to take that trouble off his

[Erit. bands.

Enter Nancy.
Enter Nancy,

Nan. Well! they may talk what they will Drug. So, Nancy-you seem in confusion, of taste, and genteel life; I don't think it's pamy girl!

tural. Give me Mr. Woodley-La! tbat odious Nun. How can one help it, with all this noise thing coming this way. in the house? And you are going to marry me as ill as my sister. i hate Mr. Lovelace.

Enter LOVELACE. Drug. Why so, child?

Love. My charming little innocent, I have not Nan. I know these people of quality despise seen you these three hours. us all out of pride, and would be glad to marry Nan. I have been very happy these three us out of avarice.

hours. Drug. The girl's right.

Love. My sweetest angel, you seem disconNan. They marry one woman, live with ano- certed. And you neglect your pretty figure. ther, and love only themselves.

No matter for the present ; in a little time I Drug. And then quarrel about a card. shall make you appear as graceful and as genteel

Nan. I don't want to be a gay lady. I want as vour sister. to be happy.

Nun. That is not what employs my thoughts, Drug. And so you shall: don't friglet your sir. selt, child. Step to your sister, bid her make Love. Ay! but my pretty little dear, that herself easy; go, and comfort her, go.

should engage your attention. To set off and Nan. Yes, sir.

[Erit. adorn the charms that nature has given you, Drug. I'll step and settle the matter with Mr. should be the business of your life. Woodley, this inoment.

[Erit.

Nan. But as I have something else to do, you'll excuse my leaving you.

[Erit.

Love. I must have ber, notwithstanding this: SCENE II.- Another Apartment. for tho' I am not in love, I am most confuuudedly

in debt. Sir CHARLES, with a pack of cards, at a table.

Enter DruGGET. Sir Cha. Never wis any thing like her beha- Drug. So, Mr. Lovelace! any news from viour. I can pick out the very cards I had in above stairs ? Is this absurd quarrel at an end? my hand, and then 'tis as plain as the son.- | Have they made it up? There-there-now-there-no-damnit,110-1 Love. Oh! a mere bagatelle, sir: these little -there it was now let me see—They had four fracas never last long: as you see; for here by honours and we play'd for the odd trick,--they come, in perfect good humour. damnation ! honours were divided-ay!-honours were divided, and then a trump was led,

Enter Sir CHARLES and LADY RackEJT. and the otber side had the-contusion I-this Sir Cha. Mr. Druguet, I embrace you; you preposterous woman has put it all out of my sec ine in the most perfect harmony

of spirits. bead. [Puts his cards into his pocket.] Mighty Drug. What, all reconciled again? well, madam; I have done with you.

Lady Rac. All made, up, sir, I knew how to

bring the gentleman to a sense of his duty. This Enter Mrs. DRUGGET.

is the first difference, I thing, we ever had, Sir Mrs. Drug. Sir Charles, let me prevail. Come Charles. with me and speak to her.

Sir Cha. And I'll be sworn it shall be the last. Sir Cha. I don't desire to see her face.

Drug. I am happy now, as happy as a fond Mrs. Drug. If yoq were to see her all bath'd father can wish. Sir Charles, I can spare you in tears, I am sure it would melt your very beart. an image to put on the top of your house in

Sir Cha. Madam it shall be my fault if ever I | London. amn treated so again. I'll have nothing to say to Sir Cha. Infinitely obliged to you. her. (going, stops.] Does she give up the point? Drug. Well! well! its time to retire: I am

Mrs. Drug. She does, she agrees to any thing. glad to sce you reconciled; and now I wish you

Sir Cha. Does she allow that the club was a good night, Sir Charles. Mr. Lorelace, inis the play?

is your way. Fare ye well both. I am glad Mrs. Drug. Just as you please: she is all yoor quarrels are at an end: this way Mr. submission.

Lovelace. [Ereunt Devoget and Lovelacs. Sir Cha. Does she own that the club was not Lady Rac. Ah! you are a sad man, Sir the best in the house?

Charles, to bchave to me as you have done.

Speaking very fast & together.

estates.

sure.

Sir Cha. My dear, I grant it: and such an Sir Cha. Well, now mind me, my Lady Racabsurd quarrel too-ha! ha!

kett, we can now talk of this matter in good liu. Lady Rac. Yes-ha! ha!-about such a mour: we can discuss it coolly. trife.

Lady Rac. So we can-and it is for that reaSir Cha. It is pleasant how we could both fall son I venture to speak to you. Are these the into such an error. Ha! ba!

ruifles I bought for you? Lady Rac. Ridiculous beyond expression ! Sir Chu. They are, my dear. Ha ! ha!

Lady Rac. They are very pretty. But indeed Sir Cha. And then the mistake your father you played the card wrong. and mother fell into!

Sir Cha. No, no, listen to me; the affair was Lady Rac. That too is a diverting part of the thus: Mr. Jenkins having never a club lettstory. Ha! ha!-But, Sir Charles, must I stay Lady Ruc, Mr. Jenkins finessed the club. and live with my father till I grow as fantastical Sir Cha. (Peevishly.] How can you? 2 as his own evergreens?

Lady Rac. And trumps being all outSir Cha. Nay, pr’ythee don't remind me of Sir Cha. And we playing for the odd my folly.

trick Ludy Rac. Ab! my relations wero all stand- Lady Rac. If you had minded your ing behind counters, selling Whitechapel nee-gamedles, while your family were spending great Sir Cha. And the club being the best

Lady Rac. If you had led your diamondSir Cha. Spare iny blushes: you see I am

Sir Cha. Mr. Jenkins would, of course, covered with confusion,

put on a spade. Lady Rac. How could you say so indelicate Lady Rac. And.so the odd trick was a thing? I don't love you, Sir Cha. It was indelicate; I grant it.

Sir Cha. Damnation ! will you let me speak? Lady Rac. Am I a vile woman?

Lady Rac. Very well, sir, Ay out again. Sir Cha. How can you, my angel?

Sir Cha. Look here now : here is is a pack of Lady Roc. I shan't forgive you! I'll have you cards. Now you shall be convinced. on your knees for this. (Sings and plays with Lady Rac. You may talk till to-morrow, I him.]— Go naughty man.'-Ah! Sir Charles ! know I am right.

(Walks about Sir Cha. The rest of my life shall aim at con

Sir Cha. Why then, by all that's pervers, vincing you how sincerely I love you.

you are the most headstrong-Can't you look Lady Rac. [Sings.] 'Go naughty man, I can't here! here are the very cards. abide you'—Well! come, let us go to rest. [Go- Lady Rac. Go on; you'll find it out at last. ing.] Ah! Sir Charles ! now it's all over, the Sir Cha. Will you hold your tongue, or not? diamond was the play.

will you let me shew you? -Po! its all nonsense. Sir Chu. Oh no, no, no; now that one may [Puis up the cards.] Come, let's go to bed. [Go speak, it was the club indeed.

ing.] Only stay one moment. (Takes out the Lady Rac. Indeed my love, you are mis- curds. Now command yourself, and you shall taken,

have demonstration. Sir Cha. You make me laugh: but I was not Lady Rac. It does not signify, sir. Your head mistaken: rely upon my judgment,

will be clearer in the morning. I chuse to go to Lady Rac. You may rely upon mine: you was bed. wrony,

Sir Cha, Stay and hear me, can't you? Sir Cha. (Laughing.] Po! no, no, no such Lady Rac. No; my head aches. I am tired thing.

of the subject. Lady Rac. (Laughing,] But I say, yes, yes,

Sir Chi. Why then, damn the cards. There,

and there, ard there, (Throwing them about the Sir Cha, Oh! no, no; it is too ridiculous; room.) You nay go to bed by yourself. Confudon't say any more about it, my love.

sion seize ine, if I stay here to be tormented a Lady Rac. [Toying with him.) Don't you say moment longer, [Putting on his shoes.] No; any more about it: you had better give it up, never, never, madam. you had indeed.

Lady Rac. Take your own way, sir.

Sir Cha. Now then I tell you once more, you Enter FOOTMAN.

are a vile woman. Foot. Your honour's cap and slippers, Lady Rac. Don't make me laugh again, Sir Sir Cha. Lay down my cap, and here take Charles.

(Walks and sings these shoes off. [He takes them off, and leaves Sir Cha. Hell and the devil! Will you sit them at a distance.] Indeed, my Lady Rackett, down quietly and let me convince you? you make me ready to expire with laughing. Lady Rac. I don't chuse to hear any more Ha! ha!

about it. Lady Rac. You may laugh, but I am right Sir Cha. Why then may I perish if crernotwithstanding.

blockhead, an idiot I was to marry. [Italles Sir Cha. How can you say so?

about. Such provoking impertinence ! [She sits Lady Rac. IIow can you say otherwise? down.) Damnation ! I am so clear in the thing.

yes.

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