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-!lere's a power of news: Let me see-Reads.] | vixen! a trollop! to want money from me, when Letters from the Vice-Admiral, dated Tyger, off I may have occasion to buy the stale of the Calcutta. (Mutters so himself very eagerly. [Sinking Fund, or Faction Detected, or The Bar--Odd's leart, those baggages will interrupt me; rier Treaty-or-and, besides, how could the I hear their tongues a-going, clink, clack, clack jade tell, but to-morrow we may have a Gazette I'll run into my closet, and lock myself up. A Extraordinary?



SCENE I.-The Upholsterer's House. turn a penny by an earthquake, or live upon a

jail-distemper, or dine upon a bloody murder! Enter QUIDNUNC.

but now that's all over--nothing will do now but

roasting a minister, or telling the people that they Quid. Where, where, where is he? Where's are ruined- The people of England are never so Mr. Pamphlet? Mr. Pamphlet! Termagant- happy as when you tell them they are ruined. Mr. -a-a-Termagant, Harriet, Termagant, Quid. Yes, but they an'i ruined-I have a you vile miox, you saucy

scheme for paying off the national debt.

Pam. Let us see, let us see. (Futs on his specEnter TERMAGANT.

tacles.] Well enough! well imagined a new Ter. Here's a racket, indeed!

thought this! I must make this my own. Aside.) Quid. Where's Mr. Pamphlet? You baggage, Silly, futile, absurd, abominable; this will never if he's gone

do-I'll put it in my pocket, and read it over in Ter. Did not I intimidate that he's in the next the morning for you - Now, look you here ; room? Why, sure the man is out of his wits! I'll show you a scheme. [Rummaging his pockets.)

Quid. Show him in here, then--I would not No, that's not it; that's my conduct of the mimiss seeing him for the discovery of the vorth- nistry, by a country gentleman; I prored the east passage.

nation undone here: this sold hugely; and here Ter. Go, you old gemini gomini of a politic! now, here's my answer to it by a noble lord

[Erit Ter. this did not move among the trade. Quid. Show him in, I say; I had rather see Quid. What, do you write on both sides? him than the whole state of the peace at Utrecht, Pam. Yes, both sides ; I have two hands, Mr. or the Paris-a-la-main, or the votes, or the ini- Quidounc; always impartial, ambo dester. Now, nutes, or~-here he comes—the best political here, bere's my dedication to a great man ; writer of the age.

touched twenty for this; and here, here's my

libel upon him Enter Pamphlet, in a surtout coat, fc. Quid. What, after being obliged to him? Quid. Mr. Pamphlet, I am heartily glad to see Pam. Yes, for that reason-It excites curiosiyou.

White-wash and blacking-ball, Mr. QuidPam. Mr. Quidnunc, your servant ; I'm nunc ! in utrumque paratus no thriving withfrom a place of great importance.

Quid. Look ye there, now !-Well, where, Quid. What have you here in this pocket? where?

(Prying eagerly. Pam. Are we alone?

Pam. That's my account with Jacob ZorobaQuid. Stay, stay, till I shut the door-Now, bel the broker, for writing paragraphs to raise or now, where do you come from?

tumble the stocks, or the price of lottery tickets, Pam. From the Court of Requests.

according to his purposes. [Laying aside his surtout coat. Quid. Ay! how do you do that? Quid. The Court of Requests! [Whispers.) Pum. As thus-To-day the protestant interest Are they up?

decliues, Madras is taken, and England is unPam. Hot work.

done; then, all the long faces in the alley luok Quid. Debates arising, may be?

as dismal as a blank; and so Jacob buys away, Pom. Yes, and like to sit late.

and thrives upon our ruin. Then, to-morrow, we Quid. What are they upon ?

are all alive and merry again ; Pondicherry's taPam. Can't say.

ken; a certain northern potentate will shortly Quid. What carried you thither?

strike a blow to astonish all Europe : and, then, Pam. I went in hopes of being taken up. every true-boru Englishman is willing to buy a Quid. Look ye there now. (Shaking his head. lottery-ticket for twenty or thirty shillings more l'am. I've been aiming at ii these three years. than its worth ; 90 Jacob sells away, and reaps Quid. Indeed !

[Staring at him. the fruit of our success. Pau. Indeed !-Sedition is the only thing an Quid. What! will the people believe that author can live by now-Time has been I could now?



out it.




-when super


Pam. Believe it ! believe any thing-No swal- Pam. Leave that to me; a refined stroke of low like a true-born Englishman's- -A man policy- Papers have been destroyed in all goin a quart bottle, or a victory, 'uis all one to them they give a gulph—and down it goes Quid. So they hate; it shall be done ; it will -glib, glib

be political; it will, indeed. Pray, now, Mr, Quid. Yes; but they an't at the bottom of Pamphlet, what do you take to be the true polithings.

tical balance of power? Pam. No, not they; they dabble a little, but Pam. What do I take to be the balance of can't dive

Quid. Pray now, Mr. Pamphlet, what do you Quid. Ay, the balance of power ? think of our situation?

Pam. The balance of power! what do I take Pam. Bad, sir, bad—And how can it be bet- to be the balance of power the balance of ter? the people in power never send to me power! [Shuts his eyes.] what do I take to be never consult me; it must be bad; now, here, the balance of power? here-[Goes to his loose cout.] here is a manu- Quid. The balance of power I take to be, script ! this will do the business, a master-piece! when the court of aldermen sits. I shall be taken up for this

Pam. No, no-Quid. Shall ye?

Quid. Yes, yesPam. As sure as a gun, I shall; I know the Pam. No, no; the balance of power is when bookseller's a rogue, and will give me up. the foundations of government and the super

Quid. But, pray now, what shall you get by structures are natural. being taken up?

Quid. How d’ye mean natural ? Pam. I'll tell you—[Whispers.) in order to Pam. Pr’ythee be quiet, man. This is the lanmake me hold my tongue.

guage—The balance of power is, Quid. Ay, but


won't hold your tongue for structures are reduced to proper balances, or all that.

when the balances are not reduced to unnatural Pam. Poh, poh! not a jot of that—abuse superstructures. them the next day.

Quid. Poh, poh! I tell you it is when the
Quid. Well, well, I wish you success- fortifications of Dunkirk are demolished.
But do you hear no news? have you seen the Pam. But, I tell you, Mr. Quidnunc-

Quid. I say Mo Pamphlet-
Pam. Yes, I have seen that-Great news, Nr. Pam. Hear Mr. Quidnunc-
Quidnuuc—But, hark ye-[Whispers.] and kiss Quid. Give me leave, Mr. Pamphlet-
bands next week.

Pam. I must observe, sir-
Quid. Aye!

Quid. I am convinced, sir--
Pam. Cer:ain.

Pum. That the balance of power-
Quid. Nothing permanent in this world.

Quid. That the fortifications of Dun-
Pam. All is vanity

Quid. Ups and downs-

Pan. Depends upon the balances and
Pam. Ins and outs

Quid. Wheels within wheels-

Quid. Constitutes the true political equi-
Pam. No smoke without fire.

Quid. All's well that ends well.

Pam. Nor will I converse with a man-
Pam. It will last our time.

Quid. And, sir, I never desire to see your
Quid. Whoever lives to see it, will
know inore of the matter.

Pam. Of such anti-constitutional prin-
Pam. Time will tell all.

ples-Quid. Ay, we must leave all to the determina- Quid. Nor the face of any man who is such a tion of time, Mr. Pamphlet, I'm heartily obli- Frenchman in his heart, and has such notions of ged to you for this visit- I love you better than the balance of power.

[Ercunt. any man in England.

Enter QUIDNUNC. Pam. Aod, for my part, Mr. Quidnunc-I love you better than I do England itself.

Quid. Ay, I've found him out-such abominaQuid. That's kind, that's kind-there's no- ble principles ! I never desire to converse with thing I would not do, Mr. Pamphlet, to serve you. any man of his notions-no, never while I livePum. Mr. Quidnunc, I know you are a man of

Enter PAMPHLET. integrity and honour-I know you are--and now since we have opened our hearts, there is a Pam. Mr. Quidnunc, one word with you,

if thing, Mr. Quidnunc, in which you can serve me you please. -You know, sir, this is the fullness of our hearts Quid. Sir, I never desire to see your face-you know you have my note for a trifle; hard Pam. My property, Mr. Quidnunc--I shau't dealings with assignees. Now, could not you, to leave my property in the house of a bankrupt. serve a friend- -could not you throw that [Twisting his handkerchief round his arm.) A noie into the fire?

silly, empty, incomprehensible blockhead ! Quid. Hey! but would that be honest ? Quid. Blockhead, Mr. Pamphlet !

In deep thoughi, without look

ing at each other.

Both in a passion.


Pam. A blockhead to use me thus, when I

Enter Watchman. have you so much in my powerQuid. In your power

Watch. Call, master? Pam. In my power, sir! It's in my power to Quid. Ay, step bither, step hither; have you hang you!

heard any news? Quid. To hang me!

Watch. News, master? Pam. Yes, sir, to hang you. [Drawing on his Quid. Ay, about the Prussians, or the Ruscoat.] Did not you propose but this moment-did sians ? not you desire me to combine and confederate Watch. Russians, master ! to burn a note, and defraud


creditors ? Quid. Yes ; or the movements in Pomera. Quid. I desire it!

nia ? Pam. Yes, Mr. Quidnunc; but I shall detect Watch. La, master, I know nothing. Poor you to the world. I'll give your character-You gentleman! (Pointing to his head.] Good night shall have a sixpenny touch next week.

to you, master. Past eleven o'clock.

[Exit Watchman. Flebit et insignis tota contabitur urbe. Quid. That man, now, has a place ander the

government, and he won't speak. Bat I am los

(Exit PAMPHLET. ing time. [Knocks at the door.) Hazy weather ! Quid. Mercy on me! there's the effect of his [Looking up:] The wind is fixt in that quarter, anti-constitutional principles ! the spirit of his and we shan't have any mails this week to come. whole party; I never desire to exchange another Come about, good wind, do, come about. word with him.

Enter a Sertant Maid.

Maid. La, sir, is it you?
Ter. Here's a pother, indeed! Did you call

Quid. Is your master at home, child ? me?

Maid. Gone to bed, sir. Quid. No, you trollop, no

Quid. Well, well, I'll step up to him. Ter. Will you go to bed ?

Maid. Must not disturb him for the world, Quid. No, no, no, no! I tell you.

sirTer. Better to go to rest, sir. I heard a doctor

Quid. Business of the utmost importance. of physic say, as how, when a man is past his

Maid. Pray, consider, sir, my master an't

well. grand crime-what the deuce make me forgot my word ? his grand crime-hysteric-nothing is

Quid. Pr’ythee be quiet, woman; I must see

him. so good against indiscompositions as rest taken

[Ercust. in its prudish natalibus.

Quid. Hold your prating! I'll not go to bed ; I'll step to my brother Feeble; I want to have

SCENE IV.-A room in FEEBLE's house. some talk with him, and I'll go to bim directly.

[E.rit Quib.

Enter FEEBLE, in his night-gown. Ter. Go thy ways for an old Hocus-pocus of

Feeb. I was just stepping into my bed. Bless a newspaper! You'll have good luck if you find my heart! what can this man want? I know his your daughter here when

you come back. Mr. Belmour will be here in the interim ; and if he this hour!

voice. I hope no new misfortune brings him at does not carry her off, why then, I shall think him a mere 'shilly-shally feller; and, by my ish hussy; he'll be glad to see me. 'Brother

Quid. [Without.] Hold your tongue, you fooltroth, I shall think him as bad a politishing as Feeble, brother Feeble ! yourself!



Brother Feeble, I give you joy; the nabob's deSCENE III.-The Street. molished.

(Sings. Enter QUINDUNC, with a dark lanthorn.

Britons strike home, revenge, gc. Quid. If the Grand Turk should actually com- Feeb. Lack-a-day, Mr. Quidnunc, how can you mence open hostility, and the house-bug Tar- serve me thus? tars make a diversion upon the frontiers, why, Quid. Suraja Dowla is no more! then, 'tis my opinion-time will discover to us Feeb. Poor man ! he's stark staring mad. a great deal more of the matter.

Quid. Our men diverted themselves with hillWatch. [Without.] Past eleven o'clock; a ing their bullocks and their camels, till they discloudy night.

lodged the enemy from the octagon, and the Quid. Hey! past eleven o'clock-'Sbodikins, counterscarp, and the bung-lo— my brother Feeble will be gone to bed; but he Feeb. I'll hear the rest to-morrow morningshan't sleep till I have some chat with bim.-Oh! I'm ready to die ! Hark ye, watchman, watchman !

Quid. Odsheart man, be of good cheer-the


new nabob, Jaffier Ally Cavn, has acceded to a , now I've made him happy-—I'll go and knock treaty; and the English Company have got all up my friend Razor, and make him happy too their rights in the Phiemand and the Hashbulho- --and then I'll go and see if any body is up

at the coffee-houses- -and make them all Feeh. But dear heart, Mr. Quidnunc, why am happy there, too.

[Exit QuidnUNC, I to be disturbed for this?

Quid. We bad but two seapoys killed, three chokevs, four gaul-walls, and two zemidars.-SCENE V.-A street. A shabby house, with (Sings.]'' Britons never shall be slares !

a barber's pole up, and candles burning on the Feeb. Would not to-morrow morning do as outside. well for this?

Quid. Light up your windows, man; light up your windows. Chandernagore is taken !

Enter QUIDNUNC, with a dark lanthorn. Feeb. Well, well, I'm ylad of it-Good night. Quid. Ah, friend Razor !-he has a great re

[Going. spect for a rejoicing night-Who knows but he Quid. Here; here's the Gazette !

has heard some more particulars. Feeb. Oh! I shall certainly faint !

[Sits down. Razor, looking out at the window. Quid. Ay, ay, sit down, and I'll read it to you. [Rearls.] Nay, don't run away-I've more news

Raz. Anan? to tell you !--there's an account from Williams- Quid. Friend Razor! burgh in America --The superintendant of In

Raz. My Master Quidnunc! I'm rejoicing for dian affairs

the news---will you partake of a pipe ?— I'll open Feeb. Dear sir, dear sir

[Avoiding him. the door. Quid. He has settled matters with the Chero- Quid. Not now, friend Razor. kces

[Following him. Raz. I've something to tell you—I'll come Feeb. Enough, enough

[From him. down. Quid. In the same manner he did before with Quid. This may be worth staying for – What thie Catabaws.

[After him. can he have heard? Feeb. Well, well, your servant

[From him,

Enter Razor, a pipe in his mouth, and a tankQuid. So that the back inhabitants

ard in his hand.

[After him. Raz. Here's to you, Master Quidnunc! Feeb. I wish you would let me be a quiet in- Quid. What have you heard? What have you habitant in my own house

heard? Quid. So that the back inhatitants will Rar. The consumers of oats are to meet next now be secured by the Cherokees and Cata week. bawy

Quid. Those consumers of oats have been Feeb. You'd better go home, and think of ap- meeting any time these ten years to my knowpearing before the coininissioners

ledge, and I never could find what they are Quid, Go home! no, no; I'll go and talk the about. matter over at our coffee-house

Ras. Things an't right, I fear- -its enough Fecb. Do so, do so.

to put down a body's spirits- [Drinks. Quid. (Returning.) Nr. Feeble--I had a dis- Quid. No, nothing to fear-I can tell you pute about the balance of power--pray 110w, can some good news—a certain great potentate

has not heard bigh-mass the Lord knows when. Feeb. I know nothing of the matter

Raz. That puts a body in spirits again. Quid. Well, another time will do for that I [Drinks.) Here, drink No wooden shoes ! have a

a great deal to say about that-{Going, Quid, With all any heart—[ Drinks.) Good returns.] Right, I had like to have forgot; there's liquor this, Master Razor, of a cold night. an erratum in the last Gazette

Raz. Yes, I put a quartern of British brandy Feeb. With all


in my beer-whu !-Do you know what a rebel Quid. Paye 3, line 1st, col. 1st and 3d, for ny wife is? bombs read booms.

Qiud. A rebel ! Feeb. Read what

Raz. Ay, a rebel- I earned nineteen-pence Quid. Nay, but that alters the sense, you half-penny to day, and she wanted to lay out all know—Well, now your servant. If I hear any that great sum upon the children--whu!—but I more news, I'll come, and tell you.

bought those candles for the good of my country, Feeb. For Ileaven's sake, no more

to rejoice with, as a body may say—a little Quid. I'll be with you before you're out of Virginy for my pipe, and this sup of hotyour first sleep

whun Feeb, Good-night, good-night

Quid. Ay, you're an honest man: and if every

(Runs off. body did like you and me, what a nation we Quid. I forgot to tell you

-the emperor of should be !Borucco is dead. (Bauling after him.] Sum Raz. Ay; very trucs (Shakes his head.

you tell

you will

Quid. I can give you the Gazette to read. Belmour's letter to Miss Harriet I enveloper

Raz. Can you! a thousand thanks-I'll take that secret for all pains to purvent me.-Old it home to you when I have done.

Politic must not have an idear of that business { Drinks, and staggers. -Stay, stay; is there ne'er an old trumpery Quid. Friend Razor, you begin to be a little in newspaper?-ihis will do-Puts it in her puce fort.

ket.] Now let the Gazette of a fellow cole as Raz. Yes, I have a whirligig of a head—but soon as he will. a body should get drunk sometimes for the good of one's country

Enter QUIDNUNC. Quid. Well, I shall be at home in half an hour! -Harkye.

Quid. Fie upon it! -fie upon it!-all the Raz. Anan!

cotřec-houses shut up-Where is my Salmon's Quid. I have made a rare discovery, Florida gazetteer, and my map of the world :—in that will be able to supply Jamaica with peat for room, 1 fancy-I won't sleep till I krow the their winter's firing. I had it from a deep poli- geography of all these places. [Going. tician.

Ter. Sir, sir, sir!
Raz. Ay! I am glad the poor people of Quid. What's the matter?
Jamaica will have Florida peat to burn.--

Ter. Here has been Mr.- -he with the [Ercunt. odd name.

Quid. Mr. D--that writes the pretty verses

upon all public occasionsSCENE VI.-The Upholsterer's house. Ter. Ay, Mr. Reptile; the same. He says as

how there are some assays of bis in this paper, Enter BelMOUR and HARRIET.

[Searches her pockets.] and be desires you will

give your idear of them. Har. Mr. Belonour, pray, sir—. I desire, sir,

Quid. That I will let me see ! you'll not follow me from rooin to room.

Ter. The deuce fetch it! here is son.ething Bel. Indulge me but a moment.

distintangles in my pocket; there it is. [Gites Har. No, Mr. Belmour, I've seen too much of the paper, und drops the letter.] Pray amuse it your temper-I'ın touched beyond all enduring before you go to bed; or had not you better go at your unmanly treatment.

and read it in bed? Bel. Unmanly, madam?

Quid. No, I'll read it here. Har. Unmanly, sir! to presume upon the mis

Ter. Do so; he'll call in the morning. l'il fortuves of my fainily, and insult ine with the get him to bed, I warrant me; and then Miss formidable menaces that,' Truly you have done; Harriet may elope as fast as she will. you'll be no more a slave to me.'--Oh fie, Mr.

[Erit TERBAGANT. Belmour! I did not think a gentleman capable

Quid. Hey! this is an old newspaper, I see. of it.

What's this? [Turcs up the letter.] Here may Bel. But you won't consider.

be some news — To Miss Harriet Quidnunc.'Har. Sir, I would have Mr. Belmour under- Let me see! [Reuds.] stand, that though my father's circumstances are embarrassed I have still an uncle, who can, and My dearest Harriet, will, place me in a state of affluence; and then

Why will you keep me in a state of suspense ? sir, your declarationsBel. My dearest Harriet, they were but hasty constancy and

love. Surely ihen, now that you

I have given you every proof of the sincerest words; lei me now entreat you will suffer me to convey you hence, far from your father's roof; to consult your own happiness; if you will per

see your father's obstinacy, you may determi.it where we may at length enjoy that happiness, of mit me to wuit on you this evening, I will coro wbich we have long cherished the loved ideaWhat say, you Harriet?

vey you to a family, who will take the tenderest Har. I don't know what to say

care of your person, till you resign it to the arms

Your eternal admirer,
heart's at my lips.----Why don't you take me,

So, so! here's policy detected—Why Harriet

, Ter. Undone, undone ! I'm all over in a flus-daughter! Harriet! She has not made her cstration-old Jimini Gomini's coming. cape, I hope?-30 madam

Har. O lud, what is to be done now?
Ter. The devil! what can be done? I have it

Enter Harriet and BELMOUR.
-dɔn't Austrate yourself I'll find some non- Hey, the enemy in our camp!
sense news for bim-away with you both into Hur. Mr. Belmour is no enemy, sir,
that room. Quick, quick!

Quid. No! What does he lurk in my house [Ereunt Belmour and HARRIET. for? Let me see-have I nothing in my pocket for Bel. Sir, my designs are honourable; you see, the old hocus pocus to read? Psha! that's Mr. I sir, I am above concealing myself,

-my of

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