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told you, but I could not get you to listen; why, | paying the penalty, the contract here that Mr. she brought me here to marry my mother!
Harpy has drawn? 2. Fun. Marry your mother! Lord have mercy 2. Fun. The contract! hey, brother Isaac ! on us, what a monster! to draw a young man in I. Fun. Let me see it. to be guilty of incense! But, hark ye, brother Mrs. Msech. Soft you there, my maker of canIsaac?
[They retire. dles; it is as well where it is: but you need not Dr. Cat. Gad's my life, what a sweet project doubt of its goodness; I promise you, the best I have helped to destroy ! But come, Dolly, I'll advice has been taken. piece thy broken fortunes again : thou hast a 2. Fun. What a damned fiend! What a harpy! good pretty voice ; I'll teach ibee a thrill and a Mrs. Mech. And why so, my good Master shake, perch thee amongst the boughs at one of Fungus! is it because I have practised that trade the gardens; and then, as a mistress, which, as by retail, which you have carried on in the gross? the world goes, is a much better station than that What injury do I do the world? I feed on their of a wife, not the proudest of them all- follies, 'tis true; and the game, the plunder, is
Mrs. Mech. Mistress! No, no, we have not fair: But the fangs of you and your tribe, managed our matters so badly. Hark ye, Mr. Commissary?
A whole people have felt, and for ages will feel. 2. Fun. Well, what do you want?
To their candour and justice I make my appeal; Mrs. Mech. Do you propose to consummate Though a poor humble scourge in a national your nuptials?
cause, 2. Fun. That's a pretty question, indeed! As I trust I deserve, I demand your applause. Mrs. Mech. You have no objection then to
SCENE I.-A Room.
Sir Tho. Dignity! and what occasion for dig. Enter Sir Thomas Maxwell and Margaret. the deuce can't you converse like the rest of the
nity in the common concerns of my house? why Sir Tho. Why, the woman is mad! these curs- world? If you want money to pay off my bilis, ed newspaper patriots have shattered her brains! you move me for further supplies; if I turn away nothing less than a senator of seven years stand- a servant, you condemn me for so often changing: ing can conceive what she means.
my ministry; and becaase I lock up my daughMar. Why, Sir Thomas, my conversation is ter, to prevent her eloping with the paliry clerk neither deficient in order, precision, or dignity. of a pitiful trader, it is, forsooth, an invasion of
the bill of rights, and a mortal stab to the great Mar. What then? for that inestimable blesscharter of liberty!
ing she is not beholden to you; nor can you, Mar. As Serjeant Second'em said, in the de- though a father, with reason, justice, or law, take bate on the corn-bill, “ Then why don't you it froin her. “ chuse better ground, brother, and learn to en- Sir Tho. Why, Margaret, you forget where “ large your bottom a little? Consider, you must you are! This, child, is the town of Madrid; you “ draw the line of liberty somewhere; for if are amongst a sage, steady people, who know " these rights belong".
and revere the natural rights of a parent. Sir Tho. Mercy on us !
Mar. Natural rights ! Can a right to tyrannize Mar. But, indeed, my dear brother, you are be founded in nature ! got quite out of your depth : Woman, I tell you, Sir Tho. Lookye, Margaret ! you are but lois a microcosm; and rightly to rule ber, requires sing your time ; for, unless you can prevail on as great talents, as to govern a state. And what Count Wall, or the president of Castille, to grant says the aphorism of cardinal Polignac? “ If you you a habeas, why, Harriet shall stay where she “ would not have a person deceive you, be care- is. “ ful not to let him know you mistrust him !" Mar. Ay, ay, you know where you are; but, and so of your daughter.
if my niece will take my advice, the justice, that Sir Tho. Mrs. Margaret Maxwell, bestow your is denied to her here, she will instantly seek for advice where it is wanted! Out of my depth! a elsewhere. likely story indeed, that I, who am fixed here in Sir Tho. Elsewbere? hark you, sister! is it a national trust, appointed guardian of the Eng- thus you answer my purpose in bringing you hilish interest at the court of Madrid, should not ther? I hoped to have my daughter's principles know how to manage a girl!
formed by your prudence; her conduct directed Mar. And pray, Mr. Consul, what information by your experience and wisdom. will your station afford you? I don't deny your Mar. The preliminary is categorically true. knowledge in export and import, nor doubt your Sir Tho. Then, why don't you abide by the skill in the difference between wet and dry goods; treaty? you may weigh, with exactness, the balance of Mar. Yes; you have given me powerful motrade, or explain the true spirit of a treaty of tives ! commerce; the surface, the mere skimmings of Sir Tho. But another word, madam! as I the political pot !
don't chuse that Harriet should imbibe any more Sir Tho. Mighty well!
of your romantic republican notions, I should Mar. But had you, with me, traced things to take it as a great favour, if you would prepare their original source; had you discovered all so- to quit this country with the first opportunity. cial subordination to arise from original com- Mar. You need not have remonstrated; a pepact; had you read Machiavel, Montesquieu, tition would have answered your purpose: I did Locke, Bacon, Hobbes, Harrington, Hume; had intend to withdraw, and without taking leave; you studied the political testaments of Alberoni nor will I reside on a spot, where the great charand cardinal Richlieu
ter of my sex is hourly invaded ! No, Sir ThoSir Tho. Mercy on us !
mas ; I shall return to the land of liberty! but Mar. Had you analyzed the pragmatic sanc. there expect to have your despotic dealings protion, and the family compact; had you toiled perly and publicly handled. through the laborious pages of the Vinerian pro- Sir Tho. What, you design to turn author? fessor, or estimated the prevailing manners with Mar. There's no occasion for that; liberty has the vicar of Newcastle ; in a word, had you read already a champion in one of my sex : The same Amicus upon Taxation, and Inimicus upon Re- pen, that has dared to scourge the abitrary acpresentation, you would have known — tions of some of our monarchs, shali do equal Sir Tho. What?
justice to the oppressive power of parents. Mar. That, in spite of the frippery French Sir Tho. With all my heart ! Salique laws, woman is a free agent, a noun sub- Mar. I inay perhaps, be too late to get you stantive entity, and, when treated with confi- into the historical text; but, I promise you, you dence
shall be soundly swinged in the marginal notes. Sir Tho. Why, perhaps, she may not abuse it: But still, my sage sister, it is but a perhaps; now,
Enter a Serrant, who whispers Sir Thomas. my method is certain, infallible; by confining Sir Tho. What, now? her, I can't be deceived.
Ser. This instant. Mar. And pray, sir, what right have you to Sir Tho. How did he get in? confine her? look in your Puffendorf! though Ser. By a ladder of ropes, dropped, I suppose, born in Spain, she is a native of England; her by Miss Harriet, from the balcony. birth-rig!it is liberty—a better patrimonial estate Sir Tho. That way, I reckon, he thinks to rethan any of your despotic countries could give treat; but I shall prevent him. Here, Dick, do her.
you and Ralph run into the street, and front the Sir Tho. Zuoks, you would tire the patience of house with a couple of carbines; hid James Job ! Pray, answer mc this; is llarriet my daugh- bring my toledo; and let the rest of the fellows ter?
follow my steps.
Mar. Hey-day! what can be the meaning of first be sure we deserve its protection—(A noise this civil commotion?
without.] Bless me! don't I hear some bustle Sir Tho. Nothing extraordinary; only the na- below? tural consequence of some of your salutary sug
In. Madam! gestions.
Har. Hush! my father, as I live! I fear, Mr. Mar. Mine, Sir Thomas ?
Invoice, you are discovered. Sir Tho. Yes, yours, sister Margaret !
In. No, surely! Mar. I don't understand you.
Sir Tho. [Without.] Have you secured all the Sir Tho. Oh, nothing but Harriet making use posts? of her great natural charter of liberty, by letting Ser. [Without.] All, sir. young Invoice, Abraham Indigo's clerk, by the Sir Tho. Both the front and the rear? means of a ladder of ropes, into her chamber. Ser. Both, Mar. I am not surprised.
Har. Lost, past redemption. Sir Tho. Nor I, neither.
Sir Tho. Then advance ! now let us unhar. Mar. The instant your suspicions gave her a bour the rascal! guard, I told her the act was tantamount to an Har. What can we do? opea declaration of war, and sanctified every Sir Tho. Come, madam, open your doors ! stratagem.
Har. The balcony! quick, Mr. Invoice! the Sir Tho. You did ? mighty well, madam! I balcony ! hope, then, for once, you will approve my pro- Sir Tho. Unlock, Mrs. Mins! your minion is ceedings; the law of nations shall be strictly ob- discovered! served; you shall see how a spy ought to be In. A couple of fellows stand below, with treated, who is caught in the enemy's camp! their pieces pointed directly against it.
Sir Tho. What, then, you will compel us to Enler Serdant, with the toledo.
batter? Oh, here's my trusty toledo ! Come, follow your Har. The whole house is surrounded ! how leader!
(Erit with Servants. can you escape ! Mar. Oh, sir, I shall pursue, and reconnoitre In. Where will this window conduct us? your motions; and, though no cartel is settled Har. To the leads that join our house to the between you, take care how you infringe the jus chemist's. gentium.
In. To the leads ? it is but a step; there is no
danger, SCENE II.- Another Chamber.
Har. Then instantly fly! you have every thing
to fear from my father. Harrier and Invoice discovered.
Sir Tho. John, fetch the mattock and crow !
In. And leave my Harriet behind me? Har. Are you sure you were not observed? Har. Secure yourself, and abandon me to my In. I believe not.
fate. Har. Well, Mr. Invoice, you can, I think, now In. No, madam, that I will never do; I'll no longer doubt of my kindness; though, let me dare your father's utmost resentment. tell you, you are a good deal indebted for this Sir Tho. Where is that rascal a-loitering? early pront of it to my father's severity.
Har. Then you are lost ! In. I am sorry, madam, an event, so happy In. Would my Harriet accompany my flightfor me, should proceed from so unlucky a cause: Har. Can you desire it! But are there no hopes that Sir Thomas may be In. I do, do; my dearest angel, I do! By softened in time?
all that's sacred, your honour shall be as secure Har. None: he is, both from nature and ha- with me as in the cell of a saint! bil, inflexibly obstinate. This, too, is his favour- Hur. But character, decency, prudence. ite foible; no German baron was ever more at- In. The occasion, the danger, all justifytached to the genealogical laws of alliance than Sir Tho. Oh, what, you are come at last ! he: Marry his daughter to a person in trade? No! In. Determine, my life! You have but a moPut his present favourite out of the question, he mentcan never be brought to submit to it.
Hur. Should you, Mr. Invoice, deceive me In. Dear Miss Harriet, then why will you he- In. When I do, may my last hope deceive sitate? there can be no other alternative; you me! must either submit to marry the count, or, by
Har. It is a bold, a dangerous step! flight, escape from the
In. Fear nothing, my love! Har. No, Mr. Invoice, not till the last neces (Advances to the window, and gets out. sity drives me. Besides, where can we go! how Sir Tho. Drive at the pannel. subsist? who will receive us ?
Mar. (Without.] I enter my protest! In. The world is all before us where to Sir Tho. And I will enter the room ! chuse;' and, as we fly from oppression, · Provi- In. Now leap; all is safe, dence our guide.'
HARRIET gets out at the window. Har. The world, Mr. Invoice, is but a cold Sir Thomas, adieu ! kind of common; and, as to Providence, let us Sir Tho. Wrench open the lock!
Mar: Ay, do, at your peril!
Devil. You are right; I am the devil. Si Tho. Down with the door!
Har. Mercy on us ! Mar. Then you shall all be swingeingly sous- Devil. Don't be terrified, miss: You rememed. Produce your authority !
ber the old proverb. The devil is not so black Sir Tho. Mine:
as he is painted.' Mar. You have none: not so much as the In. Well, but, sir sanction of a general warrant.
Devil. A truce to your questions, my good Sir Tho. What, then, I see I must do it my- sir, for the present ! Consider, rammed up in self: There it goes! Pretty law, indeed, to lock this narrow compass, I can't be inuch at ing a man out of his own house !
ease; now, if you will but break the bottle bé
före you on the foorEnter Sir Thomas, Margaret, and Servants.
Har. For Heaven's sake, Mr. Invoice, take Now, Mrs.-Heyday'! what are become of the care what you do! parties i vanished?
Devil. Why, my pretty miss, what risque do Mar. Deceived by your spies! no uncommon you run ? your affairs can hardly be changed thing, brother for a blundering general.
for the worse. Sir Tho. You are sure you saw him come iu ? Har. That's true, indeed! Şer. Certain, sir Thomas.
Dedil. Believe, me miss, as matters stand, we Sir Tho. Then I warrant we will ferret them can be of mutual use: Your lover may
deliver out. Come, lads, let not a corner escape you ! me from prison, and I can prevent you both
(Exeunt Sir Thomas and Servants. from going into confinement. Mar. I shall wait on your motions and bring In. What says my Harriet? shall I rely on up the rear.
[Erit. the gentleman's word ?
Devil. Do, madam! I am a devil of honour.
Besides, you have but a little time to consider; SCENE III.- A Chemist's.
in less than five minutes, you will have the con
sul and all his crew in the house. Enter Invoice and HARRIET, through the sash.
In. Nav, then-Pray, which is the bottle? In. Safely landed, however.
Devil. That in the middle, right before you. Har. Are you sure you are not pursued ? In. There it goes !
In. Not a soul: never fear! they will hardly [He breaks the bottle, and the Devil rises out venture this road.
of it—Thunder. llar. What a step have you induced me to Har. Oh, what atake! to what distress and difficulties have I ex- Devil. I am not surprised, miss, that you are posed myself!
a little shocked at my figure: I could have asIn. Banish your fears, and let us look forward, sumed a much more agreeable forın; but as we
are to be a little better acquainted, I thought it Har. Nay, I have gone too far to retreat. best io quit all disguise and pretence; therefore, Well, sir, what is next to be done?
madam, you see me just as I am. In. The Spaniards are naturally generous ; Har. I am sure, sir, you are ve-ve-very a. perbaps, upon hearing our story, the owner of greable. the house may lend his assistance. This, I sup- Devil. Yo-yo-you are pleased to complipose, is the laboratory, and this door leads to ment, madam. Come, answer me sincerely; am the shop
I such a being as you expected to see? Devil. ¡ In a bottle.] Heigh-ho!
Har. Really, sir, I can hardly say what I erHar. Who is that?
pected to see. In. That! where?
Devil. I own it is a puzzling question; at least, Har. Did not you hear a voice?
if the world does us justice in the contradictory In. None. Fancy, my love : only your fears. qualities they are pleased to afford us. Devil. Heigh-ho!
In. You will forgive me, if I don't understand Har. There again!
you. In. I hear it now—Who is there?
Devil. Why, for all their superlative epithets, Devil. Me.
you cannot but see how much men are beholden In. Me! he speaks English! Who and where to us; by our means it is, that you measure the are you?
extent both of your virtues and vices. Devil. Here, in this bottle, where I have been In. As how? corked up for these six months.
. As thus: In describing your friends, In. Corked up in a bottle ! I never heard of or your foes, they are devilish rich, devilish poor, such a thing in my life, unless, indeed, in the devilish uglý, devilish handsome ! now and then, Ilaymarket once. Corked up in a bottle, d'ye indeed, to vary the mode of conversing, you make
a little free with our condition and country; as, Devil. Ay; by the master of this house, a hellish dull, damned clever, hellish cold : psha! magician.
how damned hot it is! In. A magician! Why, then, you are a spirit, In. True, sir; but I consider this as a rhetoI suppose ?
rical figure, a manner of speaking devised and